Co-Ed Baby Shower.... Alcohol..?

hflodd · June 2015

Hello Everyone!

I will be having a co-ed shower, I like the idea of my partner being there and involved and having all my friends and family there, so i went with co-ed.

We are a younger couple, 22 & 27 so a party without alcohol sounds a little lame according to my husband. We had a gender reveal BBQ a few weeks back that was more of a "party" and I didnt have the best time, I have never been a "drinker" but with everyone drunk it just wasnt somewhere I wanted to be...

I am worried that my baby shower will turn into something like that if there is alcohol. I was planning on Champane and Margaritas but nothing more, (Noo beer for the guys) I wanted this to be about me and our little girl, not about people coming to "have fun and drink" ( I hope i dont sound horribly mean, just only get to do this once and want to make sure it is special and fun for me)

I would rather enjoy myself, than have the guests "enjoy" themselves and have some drinks.....

PLEASE HELP! WHAT DO I DO!

berticus87 · June 2015

Up until a few months ago I had never in my life been to a baby shower with alcohol. I honestly thought it was a bit strange to have alcohol at a baby shower and after attending said shower, I still agree that it's strange. I understand not everyone will agree with me on that but I thought it wasn't appropriate for the event. A bunch of the guys that attended (and some of the girls) got completely drunk and were acting silly (including the father). I felt like it took away from the event especially at the gift opening just because you couldn't focus on much else but the intoxicated people being loud. Again, just my thoughts on it.

lolad5 · June 2015

There's nothing wrong with co-Ed showers. I think they are fun to involve the dad. But I'd let people know that's it's a BABY SHOWER and not a party. Maybe set a strict time and the dudes will get bored and want to leave by the time the shower is coming to an end. The guys separate themselves from the woman and go hang and talk anyways.

saybaby97 · June 2015

I have had two showers so far. Both co-ed and both with kegs

One was a daytime barbecue, one was at night with heavy hors d'oeuvres. Neither got out of hand, but I think people had a good time. Just because I can't drink, that doesn't mean I want to deprive my friends from enjoying two fun summer get-togethers. Hell, baby showers are not fun, so as a guest, I wouldn't mind a cocktail or two to ease the pain if I were in their shoes. Besides, I don't really enjoy being the center of attention, so the more the guests are able to mingle, relax and entertain themselves, the better.

I do have one more shower coming up that will be more traditional. Just the ladies, luncheon at a restaurant, hosted by my MIL. there will be no alcohol provided, but it won't be prohibited. For that, the no alcohol seems more appropriate. But if you're going to torture these poor men into attending co-ed showers, give them a beer or a margarita.

kzangs15 · June 2015

I see where you're coming from. Do most of your friends that you'd worry about "over indulging" work typical M-F jobs? Would having it on a Sunday rather than a Saturday help? Or maybe as more of a brunch rather than later in the day?
Hopefully people will understand that it's a shower with your family in attendance and will have some tact in regard to their consumption.
Another idea...if you do decide to serve hard liquor (for margaritas, etc.) have a designated bartender so people aren't over serving themselves. Although, I would probably avoid the margaritas if you're worried about people drinking too much and stick with mimosas and/or wine if you do provide alcohol.

Elecin · June 2015

If you're open to compromise what about mimosas or something? Are you having a brunch time baby shower?

Kayciejoe56 · June 2015

If you really want it to be more about you and baby (or feel more like a traditional shower) don't make the guys sit through it. Personally, I think any shower is better with alcohol... we are adults and should be able to choose to have a drink, especially at an event that is supposed to be fun! If you insist on having the guys join in, at least let them have a little fun!

My DH has been to 2 coed showers with me recently, both were very traditional with no alcohol and he was so bored! I reminded him, I've been to about 25 of these in my life already... now he understands why I always complain about going lol!

My shower is at a local restaurant, we are hosting some alcohol at the shower. The boys will all just gather in the bar area and hang out/have drinks. That way DH can make a small appearance, see his family, etc... but he is not stuck sitting through all the girly stuff. Plus they can have as much as they want to drink without affecting the shower (although I really don't care if they did... as far as I'm concerned, showers need a little more fun!)

BabyBugutsky · June 2015

It seems a little unfair to say I will serve the girls alcoholic drinks but the guys can't have beer. We are having two co-ed showers (families in two very different areas) both are on Sunday afternoons and are bbqs. One has an open bar and the other we stated as byob. However we are serving themed non-alcoholic drinks as well.

I guess it just depends on your friends and family. I know with both my showers being on a Sunday many people won't go crazy with drinks. When is your shower? Is it on a Saturday or Sunday? If you don't want people getting crazy supply a limited amount of booze. Enough for 1 or 2 each. I second the idea of having a bartender (or someone to man a bar station) as well.

kjs08 · June 2015

We had a co-ed baby shower back on Memorial Day weekend and we had beer and wine, that's it. We probably had about 36 bottles of beers (Corona, Sam Adams, and one other) as well as a bottle of chardonnay, pinot grigio, zinfandel and a red for wines. I don't think that people who came to ours had more than a beer or two and ours was more of a backyard BBQ at my parents house. We ended up bringing two cases of beer and the chard and pinot back home with us as they weren't touched.

If you want your shower to be about you and your baby, maybe you should consider having a traditional shower instead of co-ed. The point, IMO, of a co-ed shower is that it's about the future mom, future dad, and the baby, not just the mom and baby. If you want your male friends to go easy on the drinking, tell them so to their face or have your husband do so if they're his friends. I've been to a few co-ed showers and I've never seen anyone get completely plastered because it's a celebration of the baby and soon to be parents, not a college party.

adtaylor2015 · June 2015

I've never been to a baby shower with alcohol. I'm guessing maybe it's a regional thing? Because it's not the norm around here. If you think it will be a problem, just nix the alcohol or limit the amount per person. I had a co-ed shower with my first and it was still fun without everyone drinking.

shaunnar053 · June 2015

I'm having a co ed shower as well. I've been to a couple co ed showers before, they didn't have alcohol, and I thought they were fun without it. Granted, they all started around 11am/12pm and were only 2-3 hours long so, IMO, not really an appropriate time to serve alcohol anyways.

I asked my hosts about whether they wanted to serve alcohol at the shower (my 2 Aunts, mom, and SIL) and they all gave a very firm "NO". I wouldn't have cared either way if there was alcohol served (although neither DF or I have ever been big drinkers). However, all of my hostesses seemed to think it wasn't appropriate to serve it at the shower since "it's a baby shower and it's more of a brunch shower," according to them. I think either way is fine alcohol or no alcohol, it just depends on what your hosts want to do, really. To each their own

. I do have to say though, implying a co ed shower without alcohol will basically be torture for the guests is pretty ridiculous. If your guests can't stand a to be sober for a couple of hours to celebrate you and your SO's child, that's no good.

off2thefunnyfarm · June 2015

I agree with the PP's that said if you want to have a shower that's all about you and the baby, you should go the traditional route.

FWIW, I live in MD and I have never been to a baby shower that didn't have alcohol, so the whole idea of either party not having drinks is odd to me. My friends are also mature and wouldn't be getting super drunk at the party to begin with.

That being said, men (and women) should be capable of sitting at a party for a few hours without a beer... but I still feel like if you are going to have a joint party, then it needs to be a party and not a traditional shower. If it's a traditional shower, then just invite the ladies and serve champagne cocktails or nothing at all.

I'd never consider not having alcohol at my shower! My shower will have at least a champagne punch or sangria or something. If no alcohol is traditional in your area of the country, then by all means, leave it out altogether.

sarahlinde · June 2015

I dont understand why your having a coed shower if you want it to be all about you and baby! Not gonna happen with guys involved. Maybe have 2 showers, 1 for you and baby and one coed, more of a diaper party possibly. I think telling people they cant drink is kind of rude. If this were my group of friends people would bring they're own drinks anyway and I couldnt imagine telling them no. Personally when I go to a shower, all girls or coed, I like to have an alcohol beverage! (Not pregnant that is!

)

jadetree1080 · June 2015

Maybe do the shower just the ladies with just the champagne and snacks. That will help keep things focused on you and the baby and you can enjoy it sans-booze. Then a few weeks after baby is born have a "baby show and shine." have beer and food, make it a party, everyone gets to meet the baby, co-ed, all that. That is what I'm planning. But I didn't do a gender reveal party... 3 parties for baby seems like a lot of work to me.

shaunnar053 · June 2015

I'm not going to lie.. This post is making me second guess my hostesses' decision now. Maybe I need to talk to my hosts again about including alcohol if this is the way my guests are going to feel if there isn't any? I want everyone to enjoy themselves. I just never thought it'd be such a big deal to some people. Hmmm.

ETA:

I talked to my hostesses already and they all agreed now that there will be alcohol served. lol.. so yeah I guess I change my answer.

theglitteredpterodactyl · June 2015

One of my friends was really indignant that her mil (who is a total piece of work, in lots of terrible ways) brought deli sandwiches to her baby shower, since she couldn't eat deli meat. Reading this thread just made me kind of chuckle at what her reaction would have been if I had had booze there :-) I think it really depends on the group and situation, though, and if you're worried about it being too booze-heavy (which, when two of the three guests of honor are pregnant/fetus, doesn't seem overly appropriate in the first place) then controlling the amounts and type will probably help a lot. Best of luck!

chelseajeanene · June 2015

I think how you're feeling is valid, I wouldn't want my baby shower to be considered a "hey let's party!" event like that. It's not the time or place for anyone to be drunk. Having some there isn't bad, it's just how much they consume. I would think that if you have older women there that would make them pretty uncomfortable to. I don't really have a suggestion as to what to do, but I agree with how you're feeling about it

baker1jm2 · June 2015

We have a co ed bbq shower this weekend and were just doing beer and wine. Our group of friends are drinkers so I think keeping booze out of it will keep it more tame. I like to drink but being sober hasn't really bothered me that much..I'm just going to ask my husband to keep it to just a couple though

WDDCH · June 2015

Sounds like you know your answer. You already had a baby related party that you didn't enjoy and you say it was due to people consuming alcohol. So... don't have alcohol at your shower.

I don't get the whole "we can't have fun unless there's alcohol" thing either. I was 20 when I had my first and I'm only 30 now. No where in those 10 years, being the ages you guys are, did I think a baby shower was "lame" because there wasn't booze. If that's the case and your SO just can't have a shindig without alcohol perhaps he and the guys should do a separate diaper-and-beer thing so you ladies can enjoy an alcohol-free affair.

Rachelsbaby · June 2015

I'm having a coed shower and I'm serving beer and margarita's I had the traditional shower with my 1st and wanted to switch it up the second time around. I personally think men in general hate attending baby showers so to make it more enjoyable having a few cocktails will lighten there mood. I'm not concerned about anyone getting out of hand I'm a little
On the older side of having kids and have mature friends that can control themselves.

karapalley · June 2015

I didn't have a coed shower but we did have a mimosa bar that all the ladies seemed to enjoy!

I think it depends on you're guests. Are they the type that will go crazy if there is alcohol? Or casually have a few while enjoying everyone's company?

allstagg · June 2015

I struggle with the same issue myself. We are doing a Jack and Jill baby shower and our group of friends don't get drunk at social events or parties but like to enjoy a glass of wine or beer. Prior to pregnancy, I never drank because I am allergic to alcohol but it never bothered me when others drank unless they were completely bombed. We plan on offering wine and beer and I am still debating if we should allow cocktails. I would do whatever is best for you. If your friends get rowdy, I would say no to alcohol because you want to enjoy yourself too!

13kate31 · June 2015

Our group of friends have kind of started a tradition... We pick the Saturday that works best and the girls (who are usually hostesses) will plan the shower for early afternoon and the boys will usually go golf that morning and then come back and start cooking out at another friends house.... When we are done with the shower all of us wives meet up with the boys and a party typically starts.... Most of us have kids already and take advantage of having the sitter..... Everyone usually stays at one house and then we eat together the next morning before everyone leaves..... We have several friends that live out of town so we use it to catch up and live a little...... We are all still late 20s or early 30s and enjoy cutting loose.... This time I will be the one driving for everyone since I am the one pregnant....

momofsweetps · June 2015

We had a co-ed shower with our first at lunchtime and never had alcohol but dh and I aren't drinkers so it wasn't an issue for us.

hflodd · June 2015

Thank you to all the answers, there were so many different opinions and really helped me make up my mind!

My Shower is at 12 o'clock noon, so I think I will have something like Mimosa's and Wine/Champagne.. I want everyone to have a good time and relax a little just dont want it to turn into some craziness, our friends get a little rowdy and like to drink so I think minimizing the type of alochol will help! Shower is Aug 1st, will let you know how it went!!

meganmvc · June 2015

My husband and I gave his best friend and wife a co-ed BBQ baby shower last year and we had 1/2 keg. It was a blast. (And I don't drink). We filled up baby bottles with beer and all the guys had a contest on who could drink the bottle of beer the fastest. It was a hoot. No one got out of hand. After the shower ended, the "dads" all sat around a bonfire swapping dad stories. I think it all depends on what you're comfortable with and who you invite.

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