Fellow PGAL ladies

Miz_Liz · June 2015

Today would have been my due date had I not miscarried. I have such mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, it makes me so sad for the baby I lost. On the other hand I know had I not lost that baby, I would not have the baby I am carrying now. I can't help but wonder if I will think of it every year on this date, or if it will eventually fade. I also still have a stuffed animal I had bought for that baby that I could not bring myself to return; however I feel weird giving it to this baby, but if I don't, what would I do with it - keep it in the bag forever?? I am however so grateful that I can feel this little girl move today, not sure how I would get through it if I had not been able to conceive again so soon. How did you ladies handle your original due dates?

april42007 · June 2015

I don't know that you ever forget. I had a m/c (chemical) on the due date for my first loss. That sucked. I'm so grateful for this healthy pregnancy but I can't help but wonder what if.

toccoaparker · June 2015

I think of my miscarriage every year but not on the due date, instead on the date of the actual loss:( it doesn't help it was on September 11th so there's no forgetting on that day for me.

CaliforniaDream87 · June 2015

You don't forget. It's just gets a little easier. For me, both M/C due dates are in August (geezus we always make babies in November). The first year we spent it at the beach and it was tough. The second year....I had my son so it was bittersweet. This year I will have my daughter so again a little easier.

I think it will always be apart of us. You should keep the stuffed animal. Maybe revisit it every year to remember. Sorry for your loss again.

MrsCeballos · June 2015

Praying for you today! A loss is so hard even after you get pregnant again. I don't know if you ever forget, that will always be your baby no matter how long you carried it.

My due date for my miscarriage was thanksgiving. I always think about my sweet little angel on that day. I too have a small stuffed animal that was going to be apart of our reveal that I could never get rid of. I put it on my nightstand the night I miscarried and just have never moved it since. It's my way of remembering her.

Enjoy those kicks from your beautiful little girl inside you today! It sounds like you know how blessed you are to have her. Yet don't be afraid to let yourself feel the grief of your loss either. Remembering a lost loved one does not mean we are not thankful for those that we have in our lives now!

Miz_Liz · June 2015

Thanks ladies, I appreciate the support!

carleym93 · June 2015

For me, when my due date passed, it was like a fresh start. Like I was no longer carrying around the "I would have been this many weeks today..." etc. When it was over, it was a new start and it allowed me to let go. I still think of it when it rolls around every year, but not in the same way I did that first year. I would keep the stuffed animal. I threw everything away after mine and I'm now wishing I hadn't. Regardless of how long it lasted, us PGAL mommas still created life. That alone is something to rejoice in. I'm sorry you're going through this today, but I'm glad you're finding comfort in your baby girl. Sending you so many creepy internet hugs!

pinkspringtulip · June 2015

It's hard but it's good to take the time to remember and to take care of yourself on this difficult day.

I've had four losses before we became pregnant with this little one and, to be honest, the due dates aren't etched into my mind anymore like they were after the first would-have-been due date, but I still remember the month they would have been born in and sometimes catch myself in sadness when it's around that time.

I bought myself a silver ring on Etsy with four flowers on it and I wear it on my right ring finger always. It's my own memorial of them and I'll think of them often and wonder what our lives would have been like if things worked out with our first pregnancy (which was over four years ago now).

Seh114 · June 2015

Thoughts and prayers. You really don't forget. The baby I lost would be 16 months old right now. The due date and 1st anniversary of that date were really hard but I imagine each year is a little easier. At least I hope it is. Thoughts and prayers for you!

bpwife&mama · June 2015

Mine was this past March 11th. Thank god I worked all day so it kept me busy. It was still tough though

jaeleigh25 · June 2015

The due date of my m/c (chemical) is July 7th coming up. I am feeling ok, I think. But I will say that becoming pregnant RIGHT after the loss (whoops), I feel like I have been pregnant forever. It feels as though I should be full term and delivering any day. It is weird. I hope it get easier. I am also hoping I don't think of it each year on the day of the loss- it is DH birthday- although it is much more likely that well be the case.

Miz_Liz · June 2015

@jaeleigh25 I feel like I have been pregnant forever too! We also got pregnant right away, but I don't know how I would have gotten through if we didn't. Sure does feel like she should be here already though!

kjandericka · June 2015

My due date would have been February 12th and I kept myself busy but it was still a difficult day. I was happy when the day was over because, like @carleyec93 said, I felt a sense of closure. Every now and again I still think about how it would have been if he/she were here but I now know that God had a different plan for our life. I was devastated when I had my MC but, looking back, He knew the perfect timing for us to have a baby. We are so much more financially and physically stable now and cannot wait until our little guy gets here in August. I don't think February 12th will ever just be a normal day for us again but it will get a little easier each year.

Thinking of you @Miz_Liz and all the other PGAL mommas!

meli1112 · June 2015

I had my loss last year, but like a PP said, I was more of a wreck on the anniversary of the actual loss. Last year I was a mess on what should have been my due date, but this year wasn't as bad because I was pregnant.

I would keep the stuffed animal you bought, it can be a special keepsake to remember your baby.

T&P for you today!

kmbeyl · June 2015

My due date would have been January 3rd. I found out I was pregnant with this baby in mid December and I have to say it really helped me cope. I had been SO down and discouraged because we did not get pregnant right away after our first loss, but the joy and excitement we experienced in December definitely made that day easier for us... But I don't think I'll ever forget that anniversary. It was our first pregnancy and a devastating loss. I'm just so grateful for this little guy preparing to join us in August.

acgonzalez22 · June 2015

It will be one year since I lost my twins on July 25th. I have been having crazy dreams about that experience along with anxiety.

I can only have faith that all things truly happen for a reason. And that one day I will be reunited with them.Thank you @Miz_Liz for this thread because it will help me not feel alone. Prayers to all you ladies.

Miz_Liz · June 2015

@acgonzalez22 it is definitely nice to know we are not alone! I am so sorry for all of your losses too. I am glad all of us were able to work through them and will be meeting our little ones so soon! Thanks everyone

kclg10 · June 2015

Tomorrow will be one year since our loss. I am so grateful for our rainbow baby but it is tough to think about that we could have a 4 month old right now.

breezymeema7 · June 2015

You never forget, but as other PPs have said, it does get easier as time goes on. Please keep the teddy bear. It may bring you pain now, but I can promise you that one day you can look at it and smile. My son was given a knit blanket when we was born, after he passed I tucked it away, with other memory keepsakes, in a special box. It stays tucked away in my girls' room as I like to think he is looking out for them. But with DD2, when she was just a newborn, I gave that knit blanket to her. She has clung to that thing since the moment she touched it. Seeing her snuggle that blanket helps me keep his memory alive and keep him part of our family. Maybe not now, maybe not 2 years from now, but that teddy bear is a memory of your baby and I promise you that one day, seeing that stuffie, while make you smile. Sending you many thoughts, prayers, and hugs.

ann_jeremiah · June 2015

I'm not religious really... But for me... I thought it was too coincidental, that the dates of my MC have been transformed into happy dates with this pregnancy... We had our anatomy scan around the time of my last due date. This baby is due around the time I had my DC last year...

dkizz82 · June 2015

I think of my mc date often. We miscarried Nov 30, 2013 and found out we were expecting this one Nov 30, 2014. That helped that say a lot. Her due date was July 4. Last July 4 was Hard and I know I'll think about her again on this July 4. I only had a I onesie that we had bought and now her little sister is gonna wear it. I don't feel bad about it, it's a warming memory that they can share it.

dkizz82 · June 2015

Miz_Liz said:
@jaeleigh25 I feel like I have been pregnant forever too! We also got pregnant right away, but I don't know how I would have gotten through if we didn't. Sure does feel like she should be here already though!

I have to say it's HARD when you don't get pregnant right away again. We got pregnant first try and mc at 9 weeks. Then it took us a full year to get pregnant again. It was awful. I fought depression and gained so much weight. I knew it happened for a reason but it was tough to live those months and see negative after negative.

907_baby · June 2015

@Miz_Liz as you can see from the overwhelming response, you are definitely not alone.
I have been having an incredibly emotional day today thinking that without any losses I should be celebrating father's day for DH with our 5 y.o., a 9 m.o., and be pregnant with twins...However, God had different plans for us. We lost one baby last year in January, and then lost one of the twins in February of this year. I also find comfort in the kicks from LO, as well as snuggles from my 5 y.o. I know that the hormones involved in pregnancy can intensify the way we are feeling, but I have to hold out hope that it will get easier to deal with the painful memories of the babies we have lost.
Best of luck to all of you ladies, and thank you for sharing your experiences and encouragement.

benmel31 · June 2015

Hugs to you! I think remembering your lost LO will always stay with you, although I do think it will fade with time.

My due date would have been May 7. I just remember looking around and thinking everything happens for a reason. I was in the middle of a stressful time at work. DH was doing renovation work on what would be the baby's room. I knew we would have been scrambling to get ready for our May baby.

I don't want to forget that baby, but I want to remember it led to this current little guy that we would never meet if we hadn't experienced our loss.

JNOVA2015 · June 2015

We have friends who had a baby 3 weeks before what would have been the due date for our m/c. It's hard watching them with their son and thinking that we would have had a baby about the same age if not for the m/c. It was especially hard before we got pregnant again. It took us about 9 months to get pregnant after the m/c, which was a big surprise because we got pregnant with the baby that we miscarried on the first try. It was hard, and it felt like everyone around us was having babies in that time. With this pregnancy I spent the entire first trimester terrified that it would happen again and take another 9 months to get pregnant again. I didn't have morning sickness and I would sit around hoping for it so I knew everything was going ok!!

I would keep the stuffed animal. We have a few things we bought for the first baby that we still plan to use for this baby (a book and a toy). I think it will make me happy to see them used and loved. But even though the m/c was unbelievably sad, it happened early enough (7 weeks) that I didn't attach to that pregnancy the way I have with this one. (I don't actually remember the specific m/c date or due date, just the month for both). But I know that's not the case for everyone, and I could understand if you didn't want your LO using something you'd bought for the baby you lost.

kelseyrayay · June 2015

I have never had a loss but I wanted to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone who has had a loss.

Saratiff · June 2015

I misscarried three years ago right around Valentine's Day. Ryan and I had been dating for two years before that, I was still in nursing school and he was finishing up college. The timing was less than ideal but not horrible. We were in the midst of figuring out what we would do and then one day the baby was gone. I was heartbroken but Hubs not so much. I don't think it really hit him as much. Or I hate to say it maybe more relief. I still think of that baby and what they would have been like. How our lives would have changed. When his grandmother died last year I thought about how she will be in heaven with our first baby. And I drew comfort form that. Around Valentine's Day I also remember the baby and random times throughout the year. The sting has ebbed but I will never forget.

I didn't announce I was pregnant to eveyone until I was 20 weeks and I was really upset when I found out my parents had been telling people because I was so afraid of losing this little one. I still worry but it does get better feeling her move. Thoughts and prayers to all the PGAL out there we really are strong amazing women.

Kath1083 · June 2015

As much as this is a horrible "club" to belong to. I found my EDD to be a difficult day, but I also found mothers day to be difficult. I felt like I should already be a mother but wasnt yet. I know its a stupid Hallmark holiday, but non the less it was a tough day. I think it is so sweet that you guys have momentos from those children. I'm so sorry yesterday was a tough day and I wish non of us ever had to go through loss.

We also had a friend that had their baby the same week our LO was due. It was hard to see him the first time, however I have found it easier each subsequent time.

Want a personalized experience?

Fellow PGAL ladies

Re: Fellow PGAL ladies

Choose Another Board

Search Boards