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July 2015 Moms
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Anyone else sad?

astraealynnastraealynn member
in July 2015 Moms
I read a lot about women getting sick of their husbands/partners while they're pregnant but I've only come to love mine more. More than I thought possible because I already loved him so much! Since my third trimester hit, I've been getting increasingly sad that the time to ourselves will end soon and have to sometimes remove myself from my desk and cry in the bathroom. Anyone else experiencing any emotion similar to this? I'm SO excited to meet our little guy but also very sad that our married relationship is about to change in a way I can't even conceive of yet.
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Re: Anyone else sad?

  • mamaklemondmamaklemond member
    I experienced this with my first and am starting to have those feelings/thoughts with our second. It was amplified the 1st time bc we had only been married 2.5 months when we found out we were expecting. My best advice is to keep the communication lines open between you two. I got so wrapped up in being a mom at times it felt like I forgot I had a husband :( I've spent many tears and times apologizing to him for feeling like I'm failing at being a wife bc I'm so wrapped up in trying to be a mother. Thankfully he is understanding and our communication has allowed us to work through these things together. It is a big step, big change and it will feel like it rocks your world at times. But it is all worth it I promise!!!!
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  • astraealynnastraealynn member
    Thanks @mamaklemond!
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  • zmombiezmombie member
    I don't have an so.. But with my youngest, I was so sad that my time with my oldest daughter was done... I felt like I was betraying her and turning my back on her.. Lol I love all my kids but I still to this day think that she thinks I abandoned her. And my youngest is 4. I wouldn't change a thing obviously! I came from a big family and never once felt my mother loved my siblings more then me.. Just silly emotions.
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  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    Yes, I just mentioned this to my husband a couple days ago :) it's not a bad thing, it's just that we are starting a new life now, a life we are not familiar with YET :D we have been together for 5 1/2 years just us 2. It will be hard for us to take weekend trips and have weekday dates out of the blue, buying each other nice gifts just for the hell of it. Taking random and fun classes like making sushi and sampling wine and stuff. Going camping and hiking when we want and just spending time together. We are both going to miss it because that is what we are used too. But we have been trying for a little one for years, and now that it finally is here...it's happening! Haha life is changing and I don't know if I'm ready to enter the "mommy circle" and setting up play dates and juggling everything BUT I have my husband and whatever happens, it's a new adventure. I'll miss just having us two, but I feel that I will miss the memories and good times of being three more :) it's a new life and a new adventure. It's ok to be sad, your not alone. :)
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  • Stephb0488Stephb0488 member
    Yes I feel the same way. Just make sure you keep your communication open and remind yourselves that before you are husband and wife before mommy and daddy. Try to have date nights maybe someone you trust can watch your baby at least once a month so you can have a little fun as a couple.
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  • astraealynnastraealynn member
    edited June 2015
    That's the hard part @Stephb0488 ! We don't really have friends or family where we live. We moved to Georgia for a job my husband took a little over two years ago and have had the hardest time meeting ANYONE! So it's been just the two of us more than ever before for the last 2, going on 3 years and almost any hopes of having a sitter we trust is minimal.
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  • Savanna111911Savanna111911 member
    We did a mini Babymoon a few weeks ago and on two different occasions I literally bawled about this. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled about the baby, the pregnancy was planned, and we knew what was coming, but now that it's just around the corner I sometimes get so sad about the fact that it won't just be the two of us. We have a great relationship and I think the pregnancy has only made it better. But we just all have to remember to try to make time for our SOs and know that we will be making great memories with our new families.
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  • Jkp7749Jkp7749 member
    I'm so glad you posted... I was feeling really guilty about feeling this way! Hubs and I have been together for 7 years and married for 2 years and I have always always always wanted to be a mama. We want this baby so badly and now I'm so nervous/sad that it won't be just me and my husband anymore. We've talked about it many times recently and decided the same thing -we have to keep putting each other first so we will have a stable loving home for baby. I just feel so torn between being sooo excited for baby to come and sad that it won't be just us anymore
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  • YoungwithraYoungwithra member
    DH and I been together for 8 years And he's the one who has actually mentioned that is not going to be us 2 anymore, there's going to be 3 of us now :D
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  • lovermyboyslovermyboys member
    I was like this with DS1, but trust me it is all about balance. We obviously had to tweak our lives for a bit, but our DS adapted to our lifestyle. We still go camping, hiking, swimming, hunting, fishing. There is just 3 of us now. We still make time for each other and I always make sure to show my DH how much I love and appreciate him. We have date nights and don't forget about each other. We are a team and our DS knows that. I remember our lives before DS, but I would never want to go back to that. It was amazing times and I loved it, but our lives feel so much fuller with DS. DH and I have a super strong relationship and I love him even more that he gave me our perfect little boy. I'm nervous for DS2 but I think it will be just the same scary at first but then we will find out groove and everyone's place in the family. We just have to pack a little more on our camping trips :)
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  • mrsjones1012mrsjones1012 member
    I've been feeling this way a bit too. Together for 5 yrs, married for almost 3 and this pregnancy was a little planned, a little unplanned (went off BC on purpose, but did NOT expect it to happen the first "try"!). We've taught each other so much about life and have grown so close, and definitely have gotten closer during pregnancy. We actually considered not having children at one point, but have always wanted to experience everything life has to offer together, and having a child is definitely part of that. We are fortunate to have lots of close family-
    Our children will have 3 sets of wonderful grandparents and lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins. I just keep remembering that this is just the next branch of our already wonderful lives together.
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  • DocMom9311DocMom9311 member
    I'm exactly the same way.  Been with DH for 5 years, married for almost 4.  I LOVE just being with him, and live for the nights when we spontaneously decide to go out to a fancy dinner, go shopping for ourselves together just for the heck of it, or just lay on the couch and talk.  There is a baby swing now in the corner of my living room and I just sit and stare at it because I can't even imagine how different things are going to be when there is a baby here.  It's kind of selfish, but right now I feel like this little tiny thing is imposing on our relationship - like crashing our little party!  

    I have a friend who is being induced tonight and she put it well - she said it feels like she is about to lose her best friend.  That their whole relationship is about to change.  That being said, another close friend said that every time she sees her husband with their new baby girl she loves him more and more and their relationship wasn't even complete until they had shared this experience.  I'm hoping I'm able to see it more that way :)
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  • alanna7777alanna7777 member
    Having our second son and feeling like I am giving away my time with him now...he is 18 months and we are very attentive to him. Adjusting to life with him and balancing our relationship was an eye opener. Best advice is go out when little one is little...and if you don't have family or friends you trust to watch LO ( we were and are in the same boat) you find baby friendly places to go with kids. :) May not be the fancy places but you and your husband will get to see your baby experience new places and that will bring yoy joy. Your LO will be an even stronger bond in your relationship. When we had some problems, we focused on the fact that here is this happy little person who loves us and depends on us for everything. A baby is a source of joy and you can have a crappy day at work and come home to your little onr and husband...it all melts away! My son breaks into a smile and runs to hug me every day and I forget everything else!
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  • astraealynnastraealynn member
    So glad all of you ladies replied and had something to say! I love hearing all the positivity too!
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  • mirrenruemirrenrue member
    I know what you mean! Being pregnant has made me a more affectionate person. I feel like I love my husband even more now and more each day when I didn't think that was possible. He is loving it too! Lol I will tell you though that I'm not sad thinking about not being just us two. I guess because I know we can have family watch our baby and we can always have time to ourselves, as long as we make it a priority.
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  • stparrishstparrish member
    I've been feeling the same way and been more sad because when I bring it up to my husband he doesn't seem to feel the same way. :-(
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  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    stparrish said:

    I've been feeling the same way and been more sad because when I bring it up to my husband he doesn't seem to feel the same way. :-(

    When I first mentioned it to my husband he looked at me and said, "well...it's kind of too late to not have one now" haha his face was a mixture of sadness and seriousness and also trying to lighten the mood. I of course explained to him that I am still very excited BUT it just will be different. Communication is very important and don't worry if you don't feel the same way, once the baby comes as long as you guys are in it together, it will be fine :D it's kind of cute because now my husband does and says little things like we are putting the nursery together, and doing baby things together and he holds me and says, are you getting more excited now? And of course I say yes because I am!!! Haha
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  • corndogrobotcorndogrobot member
    We were married 12 years when our first was born. And we just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary last week (together 19 years) it was a big change for us. Probably harder for my husband to adjust than it was for me because I had the help of my hormones. But out little boy is absolutely perfect for our family. He's the perfect mix of us. It's probably gonna rock his world when this second one comes because he gets all the attention right now. But I know she will be a perfect fit for us too.
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  • lilweenielilweenie member
    DocMom9311 said:
    I'm exactly the same way.  Been with DH for 5 years, married for almost 4.  I LOVE just being with him, and live for the nights when we spontaneously decide to go out to a fancy dinner, go shopping for ourselves together just for the heck of it, or just lay on the couch and talk.  There is a baby swing now in the corner of my living room and I just sit and stare at it because I can't even imagine how different things are going to be when there is a baby here.  It's kind of selfish, but right now I feel like this little tiny thing is imposing on our relationship - like crashing our little party!  

    I have a friend who is being induced tonight and she put it well - she said it feels like she is about to lose her best friend.  That their whole relationship is about to change.  That being said, another close friend said that every time she sees her husband with their new baby girl she loves him more and more and their relationship wasn't even complete until they had shared this experience.  I'm hoping I'm able to see it more that way :)
    I had several friends say the exact same thing to me, that their relationship with their husbands grew stronger after their children were born.  My husband and I are a little older...in our mid 30's and we've been together for over 10 years and have experience so much together that we are really looking forward to this new chapter and experience things all over again as a family of 3.
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  • Stephb0488Stephb0488 member
    edited June 2015

    My hubby and I are the same. We live in Pittsburgh and we have no family close. My father in law is 2 hours away which isn't bad and he has agreed to at least visit once a month. But I agree it's so hard to meet people and let alone someone you trust your baby with. But I hope things fall in to place for the both of us! :)
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