Oh dear husband (children mentioned)

Knottie16743552 · June 2015

My dear husband has 2 boys. They were not planned (by him, anyway). He's in a totally different point in his life right now and he is SO EXCITED about trying for a planned baby. It's kind of adorable. The only issue is he wants to be involved with everything. I don't mind it but some of it is a bit TMI and I don't feel comfortable sharing with him (no honey, we don't have to chat cervical position over TV). Some of it, I just feel like is my job up until a certain point. Anyone else deal with this? Anyone know to to gently navigate the zone between DH being excited and need to know?

Thanks!

:x

carrieandr · June 2015

My DH doesn't want to know a thing about it. In fact, he wishes I would stop temping and charting and just let it happen naturally. I'm TTC#1 at 37. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Knottie16743552 · June 2015

Mine even wants to see this board! I said nooooo... Go find a dad board. Lol - this is the women stuff!

lady+bee · June 2015

My DH thinks the temping and opk's are a bit much, but like @carrieandray, TTC#1 at 41 takes some work! We got started a few months later than we would have because he finally told me he thought I could get my IUD removed, we would go home, have sex, and nine months later there would be a baby. Uhhh...no? Not how it works, especially at my age? He's starting to come around to the fact that it will really help if we know there are certain days we should do the deed because we have a better chance, but other than that he doesn't want to know much.

carrieandr · June 2015

@lady+bee, yeah, my DH thought we'd have a baby 9 months after IUD removal, too. He's been saying that for years, though. I kept telling him that kind of thing is never guaranteed and we shouldn't wait until the last minute. He'd say I worry too much, then tell me about so-and-so who had a baby in her forties, as if one example proves him right. We did get pregnant quickly, but we had a miscarriage.

And he teases me about this board. One of the girls and I have started emailing each other and he says she is probably a 60 year old man.

Goldsgirl9 · June 2015

Mine is super excited about try #2 as well but like @lady+bee he wants me to stop using opk's and more importantly to stop reading! He thinks I stress and that's the issue. Sigh, men! It is cute though.

thistle8677 · June 2015

@CarrieandRoy AHHAAAHAAhaa!!!

thistle8677 · June 2015

@Knottie16743552 the bump has boards for father's I think...right?
It's sweet he wants to be so involved, but yea I can see how he needs to find his own outlet.

Tomerine · June 2015

My husband has no clue and doesn't want to. I've tried talking with him about signs and symptoms and he just doesn't seem interested. But he really wants #2 to be on the way already! Sigh. I'll just be here, quietly temping in the corner.

Knottie16743552 · June 2015

I love him but boy, there's enough pressure on us as is!

jilligan14 · June 2015

@Knottie16743552 - your hubby sounds pretty cute but yeah, too much can be too much. I'd suggest maybe setting aside a certain amount of time to talk about baby-making stuff (temps, cervix, etc.), perhaps in the morning after taking your temp, but then ask him to limit random convos about it throughout the day (since that must get exhausting!). Maybe give him a few easy jobs, like writing down the temps or going out to buy OPKs or something like that. This might help him feel more involved without totally invading your TTC world.

My H likes the temping and OPKs, but does think I worry/obsess too much. If my temps are acting strange, I try to speculate what's going on and he just shrugs and says, "How do I know?" He always stays very optimistic, cycle after cycle, even though I feel like I'm getting older and my hormones are just a wild mess.

Knottie16743552 · June 2015

You hit the nail on the head! Good suggestions too! Thanks girl. 8->

thistle8677 · June 2015

@Knottie16743552 I just giggled like a school girl at your emoticon. Haha.

emsmama15 · June 2015

My hubby asks me a lot of questions now that he NEVER would have asked the first time around or probably even six months ago. As the TTC has become more of a medical procedure, we've both lost our filters, I think. Yikes. Hopefully that doesn't have lasting consequences.

He's always been very intrigued with my temps though, so he always asks me "What's your temp doing today?" It's pretty cute.

lady+bee · June 2015

@carrieandroy, a 60 year old man? That's funny.

)

@knottie16743552 well said! We all put enough pressure on ourselves, he should back off a bit!

It is hard to balance the stressing and trying to control whatever I (we) can control. I try to keep him out of it as much as possible, and at his request I limit my time obsessing and studying FF and this site, but sometimes I can't help it.

thistle8677 · June 2015

@CarrieandRoy tell him I'm retiring next year and I want to take you on an Alaskan cruise

)

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