Thoughts/opinions/experiences on in labor/baby announcements

hcook321 · June 2015

So as the title says, I wanted to get your thoughts, opinions or experiences on 2 items:
1) did you tell family/friends you were in labor? If so, how did you go about it? We're you happy with the decision & how did you feel about it? If not, same as above (we're you happy with it...)
2) not truly important but, how did you handle announcing baby's arrival on fb in conjunction with family/friends knowing before it was public?

I'm a little nervous about people congratulating on FB before we announce but I place importance on family/close friends not finding out on facebook. Once again, not truly important but I'm sure other moms have thought this...

Edited title-damn auto correct.

CaliforniaDream87 · June 2015

1. My H called my mom immediately. She stayed with my H and I. My mom is my best friend and I couldn't imagine her not being there. We will be doing the same thing this time around. No one else really knew I was in labor. The last thing I wanted to do once my water broke was to "announce" it, lol.

2. No one, and I mean no one, posted pics of my little dude or any announcements until I said it was ok. Again, with just my mom and H in the room it wasn't that hard to control. Once we were ready we did announce it on FB for family members and friends. It was fun actually. People were waiting to hear the news and there was no way I had everyone's number to call/text. This worked great for us.

Everyone is different and they have different expectations.

jespernoir · June 2015

I'll be live-tweeting the birth.

No seriously... I plan on putting a few updates on fb during labour, but also directly msging my mom and aunt, and my best friend, to keep them absolutely up-to-the-minute in the loop. I don't have any concerns about friends or family trying to come to the hospital for the birth or even to see me afterwards, i doubt anyone will be coming unless I were to ask them to come. (My family isn't very supportive and my boyf's family all live fair distances away).

Once he's born and cleaned up and fed and i'm sure i'm okay, i'll probably announce it on fb via my phone with a picture.

hcook321 · June 2015

@California_Dreaming you made me lol about "announcing" water breaking, didn't think of it that way haha! I know it may sound silly but I'd love to know that our friends and family are praying for us but at the same time I think I personally will feel a lot of pressure knowing that all those people know and are ANXIOUSLY waiting instead of cluelessly waiting for news, if you get what I'm saying. Thanks for the thoughts!

KMBC2552 · June 2015

1. We told parents right away. Our IL's will be the ones watching our boys while I am in the hospital so they needed to know and my parents are awesome and I couldn't imagine them not being there shortly after the baby was born, so we kept them in the loop. Pretty much everyone else found out once the baby was born.

2. I think I sent out a pic with birth deets to close family and friends after the baby was born (or MH did) and then posted on fb shortly thereafter. I had no issues with people congratulating us on fb before we posted, but I didn't wait that long to post.

hcook321 · June 2015

@jespernoir I can only imagine if someone actually did that what the comments would be like! Hahahaha!

CaliforniaDream87 · June 2015

hcook321 said:
@California_Dreaming you made me lol about "announcing" water breaking, didn't think of it that way haha! I know it may sound silly but I'd love to know that our friends and family are praying for us but at the same time I think I personally will feel a lot of pressure knowing that all those people know and are ANXIOUSLY waiting instead of cluelessly waiting for news, if you get what I'm saying. Thanks for the thoughts!

@hcook321 If you're comfy with that do it. I'm not going to lie though...I'm always judging moms who update FB/twitter with "I'm now 3 centimeters whoo hoo" or "baby is crowning" like WTF? It's unnecessary and I don't want to know the state of your vagina

hcook321 · June 2015

CaliforniaDream87 said:

hcook321 said:
@California_Dreaming you made me lol about "announcing" water breaking, didn't think of it that way haha! I know it may sound silly but I'd love to know that our friends and family are praying for us but at the same time I think I personally will feel a lot of pressure knowing that all those people know and are ANXIOUSLY waiting instead of cluelessly waiting for news, if you get what I'm saying. Thanks for the thoughts!
@hcook321 If you're comfy with that do it. I'm not going to lie though...I'm always judging moms who update FB/twitter with "I'm now 3 centimeters whoo hoo" or "baby is crowning" like WTF? It's unnecessary and I don't want to know the state of your vagina

Haha I definitely wasn't thinking of fb updates at all, those are the last ppl to need to know. I was more so considering having an email chain before going into labor that included family members and close friends that DH could just send a blast message out to to just say,"hey, we're heading to birth center (or hospital) and will let you know when baby arrives, keep mom and baby in your prayers.." type of message. And then another one when baby has come. Still tossing that idea around and not totally sure.

pabeybaby · June 2015

FTM, but I've been thinking a lot about this. This is my moms first grandchild and my dads second (but first girl), and I know they're both dying to be there but I also know they're going to annoy me and probably stress me out while I'm laboring. They're very pushy people. My mom also loves being the center of attention so I know that'll really get on my nerves. So I'm really iffy about calling them until after she's born. I probably won't make the decision til the last minute though.

My SIL just had her first baby a couple months ago, so her and MIL understand the want for privacy. MIL already told me they'll not crowd us or overstay their visit. Which I'm grateful for.

Also, SIL's labor was 27 hours and there were a handful of family members including hubby and me waiting around for a very long time. We were all bored and tired and restless, so I don't want other people waiting around for hours while I'm laboring.

Note- the hospital were delivering at is about 45 minutes from where I live. We chose it due to it being a much better hospital than the one closer by.

I'd like to keep friends that live far away (in my original home state) updated on fb, but I'm not sure if I'm going to. I'll definitely be texting my BFF though.

hclzmm14 · June 2015

We live 1000 miles from any family members, so when I went into labor I text our parents, our sisters, and my two BFFs who also love far away. I just told them it was time to go to the hospital and I would be in touch either when she was born or if any major complications occurred. We called our parents and sisters after she was born when we had time.

I didn't post anything on Facebook until the next day, but told the few people I wanted to know the news and sent them a picture. I did have a few cousins post on my Facebook wall which did annoy me, so I will probably disable that this time around so nobody can write anything.

mrswiebe09 · June 2015

With DS we called my mom shortly after the c-section and had her call the "important" family members to let them know. I made the fb announcement a few hours later. It will be something along those lines again this time around.

deviduke412 · June 2015

We've decided not to tell anyone when I go into labor and no1 will know until he's born. We might possibly have to tell my DH's parents depending what time of the day it is because we have a dog and 2 cats to care for and they live so close so they could watch them. I don't want to be annoyed or pressured by people constantly checking in, texting, arriving forever early and hanging out in the waiting room, etc. I also have a few family members that can't keep their mouths shut and am afraid of the news getting out before we are ready to announce.
Once he's born we will contact our parents and our best friends first and then do a FB announcement right after.

Lalala2326 · June 2015

My DH called immediate family shortly after birth (c-section), and it spread through word of mouth from there. I think my mom posted a couple pictures on facebook for my extended family but in a private group. I sent a text with a picture out later that day to close friends. I eventually posted a picture or two when I felt up to it either later that day or the next on facebook for everyone else... I don't post much on facebook though. Like once every 6 months or so. I post all pictures to a private, password protected shutterfly page for anyone that really wants them.

Shine2015 · June 2015

My mom was with me at my doc appt when the decision was made to wheel me right over to the hospital for an induction so she knew. I am not sure how other family members found out. Can't remember if I gave the ok for her to tell them or she just did. Dh called his parents I think that night and they were at the hospital early the next morning even though I asked them not to come. They lived 3 hours away at the time. They were mad when the decision was made to halt the induction that evening so I could eat and get some rest before starting again in the morning. They were also annoying always wanting to be in my room and talk to DH when I needed him. Needless to say, we will not be contacting them until baby is here this time.

As for announcing on fb, we simply asked everyone to please not post anything until we had a chance to let close family and friends know first. We told them once they saw a post from one of us on fb that they were free to share as well. Everyone was very respectful of that.

chavemann10 · June 2015

Um...well...with DD#1, my FIL stopped by the hospital on his way home from work to see if I needed anything (I wasn't supposed to have her that day). After about 20 mins, the nurse walked in and said, "You're fixing to have a baby". I said I needed to call my husband and she looked at me crazy because she thought my FIL was my husband. Luckily, my FIL was there and was able to get ahold of DH and my MIL who drove him to the hospital just in time to walk me to the OR. My BFF, MIL and FIL were all there when she was born, but I don't think they stayed long afterwards. DH called my parents, who didn't come until the next day because they had the boys. It wasn't until late that night when DH fell asleep with her on his chest that I snapped a pic and posted it on facebook for the world to see (after sending it to other family members).

lvrunningirlie · June 2015

1) we text our immediate family when I was getting admitted. Birth went so fast (under two hours after admission) that we didn't really have time to worry about updates. If I get more time this time around I'll send updates probably to my mom and hubs might send them to his parents.

2) I put on fb, "it's go time" when we got admitted and didn't update again until we were recovered. My profile is private with only people I really know and love as my friends so I didn't worry about "news getting out" to people I wouldn't want knowing yet. Also all my family and his are out of town so we didn't have problems with anyone posting pictures before we wanted. I always just assumed it was standard procedure to not post pictures/announcements of new babies until the parents have given the ok. Maybe that's just me lol

Shine2015 · June 2015

I always assumed that too @lvrunningirlie but with my IL's you just never know and therefore I needed to set some boundaries!

jlsweets · June 2015

Our in-laws will be staying with DS so obviously they will know. My husband or myself will send a text out to my parents and sisters letting them know when it's time. My family is very respectful of not being pushy so with my son they didn't send me a thousand texts during those glorious 33 hours of labor ha! They will come over to the hospital once the baby is born, probably the following day. During the recovery days in the hospital I'll text my close friends. I don't do FB anymore so I'm sure the word will spread throughout friends and family and obviously when we send out the birth announcement. Call me old fashion but there is something so special to me in receiving a birth announcement, especially when I haven't seen any pictures/updates, etc.

princesslockness · June 2015

Shine2015 said:
I always assumed that too @lvrunningirlie but with my IL's you just never know and therefore I needed to set some boundaries!

^ This. My MIL post on FB as soon as she was told we were KU. At like 6 weeks. Her reasoning 'it's my grandbaby! I can say whatever I want!' Complete with foot stamp.
No one will be told anything until baby is here, or extremely close to here. Everyone lives 2-3 hrs away and will come for visiting hours in the hospital. If anyone puts anything on FB before we do, or it's something we aren't ok being put on FB, they will be cut off from us telling them anything.

kettlekitten · June 2015

We told all our parents and siblings that I was booked to go into hospital the following day. The birth happened faster than anticipated so like one of the PPs I didn't have to worry about people hassling me for updates. Once I was up and showered after the birth and the baby sorted out, I called my mum... She thought I was just checking in before the induction that was meant to happen that morning but I was like 'hi mum... I had a baby...' Her first response was 'WHAT!!!'

Then DH called his family. Over the course of the day I texted friends and other family. Within the week DH posted a few pics on FB. I was in no great rush to tell people and I don't really have gossipy friends or family so wasn't worried about people posting stuff on FB before I was ready.

J&D2007 · June 2015

I think our plan will be to call our parents when we head to the hospital, but tell them we will update them when labor progresses. My mom is 7 hours away so she will probably come when we call. The ILs, who knows. They will probably be stalking the waiting room the entire time. I am sure they will then call our siblings, who will show up after delivery to meet the little one.

e1223 · June 2015

With #1, I questioned if I was really in labor for like 20 hours before going to the hospital at 1am, and then she was here at 6:20am so I had no time or inclination to tell anyone I was going in to the hospital anyway - that was the best possible scenario for me, I really didn't want anyone bugging us and no one would have actually come to the hospital until after she was born and we told them to come anyway (our families all live 30 minutes or closer to the hospital).

I think I emailed my close friends/family a picture within probably an hour of giving birth (or my husband did, can't remember). Parents/siblings were called by my husband very quickly - before the email was sent out so within probably 30 minutes of the birth but they didn't come until much later that day.

With #2, my parents and a few closer siblings asked to know when I went to the hospital. I had to tell my mom because she was coming to get my daughter, but she ended up just fretting over me at home and not just leaving which annoyed me and caused me to go to the hospital far earlier than I would have otherwise just to get away from her telling me "wow, you really look uncomfortable, you should probably go in now". Texted siblings/in-laws that we were going in (reluctantly) and then called them within again probably 30 minutes of giving birth. Then sent a text to close friends, and then posted on social media but all was done within maybe an hour, but it was a really uncomplicated easy birth.

I personally HATE knowing people are in labor - I start to get major anxiety about them and don't want to bug them - I'd far rather know when it's all over.

For #3, it's an early c-section due to placenta previa, so everyone knows the exact date. We'll do the same order - call grandparents/siblings, text good friends, then post to social media when we're ready.

KJME · June 2015

I so admire all of you who aren't calling anyone until after baby is here! I would love to have just my husband and I with the baby for a while, but that won't happen--both of our families would never forgive us if we didn't tell them as soon as the first contraction hits. When I had my twins, I was admitted at 23w2d after a routine doctor visit. I had to be ambulanced to a hospital an hour away so I would be somewhere with a NICU. I had the boys at 24 weeks. The whole 5 days I was in the hospital, I was NEVER left alone. My dad took the week off work and my mom hasn't worked since I was in Kindergarten. Dad literally sat there and stared at me the entire time. I felt suffocated, not to mention the fact that I was overdosed on magnesium, throwing up, and having my blood drawn every 4 hours because of the mag OD. My husband's parents also stayed the whole time, only going home to shower and then come right back. They slept in the waiting room, while my parents and husband slept in the room with me. Even DH's sisters camped out and were down there every day. I wasn't allowed to eat because of the possibility of needing an emergency c-section, and my IL's brought Bojangles biscuits and Krispy Kreme doughnuts in my room for everyone each day. I was miserable and begging the nurses to just let me have one cracker. And to top it off, it was suffocating my DH, too.....so he would leave me alone with all of them to get out and be by himself for a while......I wasn't allowed out of the bed. If I could've run, I would have! I realize they were all scared to death and concerned for both the boys and myself, but I just wanted some time alone to process what was happening. This time, the pregnancy is going great (32 weeks tomorrow), but I know labor will turn into another circus like last time because the first time was so traumatic. I've tried discussing it with my mom, even mentioning that some people don't tell until after the baby is here....she very politely let me know that I had better not do that. I did get her to concede at least the first hour for just my DH and I to be with baby girl. Honestly, I don't dread the actual labor--I dread the family driving me crazy! And yes, I realize I have no guts whatsoever. I hate to make other people upset. If there's any way for you to rub some of that I'm in charge attitude off on me, I'd appreciate it!

princesslockness · June 2015

KJME said:
I so admire all of you who aren't calling anyone until after baby is here! I would love to have just my husband and I with the baby for a while, but that won't happen--both of our families would never forgive us if we didn't tell them as soon as the first contraction hits. When I had my twins, I was admitted at 23w2d after a routine doctor visit. I had to be ambulanced to a hospital an hour away so I would be somewhere with a NICU. I had the boys at 24 weeks. The whole 5 days I was in the hospital, I was NEVER left alone. My dad took the week off work and my mom hasn't worked since I was in Kindergarten. Dad literally sat there and stared at me the entire time. I felt suffocated, not to mention the fact that I was overdosed on magnesium, throwing up, and having my blood drawn every 4 hours because of the mag OD. My husband's parents also stayed the whole time, only going home to shower and then come right back. They slept in the waiting room, while my parents and husband slept in the room with me. Even DH's sisters camped out and were down there every day. I wasn't allowed to eat because of the possibility of needing an emergency c-section, and my IL's brought Bojangles biscuits and Krispy Kreme doughnuts in my room for everyone each day. I was miserable and begging the nurses to just let me have one cracker. And to top it off, it was suffocating my DH, too.....so he would leave me alone with all of them to get out and be by himself for a while......I wasn't allowed out of the bed. If I could've run, I would have! I realize they were all scared to death and concerned for both the boys and myself, but I just wanted some time alone to process what was happening.
This time, the pregnancy is going great (32 weeks tomorrow), but I know labor will turn into another circus like last time because the first time was so traumatic. I've tried discussing it with my mom, even mentioning that some people don't tell until after the baby is here....she very politely let me know that I had better not do that. I did get her to concede at least the first hour for just my DH and I to be with baby girl. Honestly, I don't dread the actual labor--I dread the family driving me crazy! And yes, I realize I have no guts whatsoever. I hate to make other people upset. If there's any way for you to rub some of that I'm in charge attitude off on me, I'd appreciate it!

If you are up to it try something like: 'mom, I realize everyone is worried that this will be like last time. BUT everything is going well, and to keep it that way I need to be as stress free as possible during these last weeks I certainly need to be as relaxed as possible during labor. Having people there or waiting anxiously will only stress me and therefore baby out. The more stress, the more likely it is that complications will arrive. I promise to have H keep everyone in the loop, but no one will be allowed into the L&D wing so I can stay stress free.'

It's a serious mouthful, but a good explanation of why you need to be alone with H for the duration.
You could also try something along the lines of 'the hospital has a policy Of only 1 person with me. That will be H.' Then just inform the nurses and doc. They will keep everyone else out.

kettlekitten · June 2015

Coincidentally this was on FB today - scroll to the end of the article for an idea on how to deal with those people you are worried will spill the beans ....

https://www.baby.co.uk/mum_stories/dont-announce-my-birth-on-facebook/

bhargrave88 · June 2015

With my first I didn't have FB so this wasn't an issue, I only reaxticated my old account last year to find my bio dad. I'm considering deactivating my account not because i care about if someone announces it, but because I'm old fashioned in a way. If you want to know how I'm doing or if the baby is here, call or text.. Or come by. I don't want to be bothered to feel obligated to post on FB about it because people have forgotten how to communicate with each other. I'll send a picture out to family who couldn't make it (lots of out of town relatives) but I'm leaving FB out of my birth

jlsweets · June 2015

KJME said:

I so admire all of you who aren't calling anyone until after baby is here! I would love to have just my husband and I with the baby for a while, but that won't happen--both of our families would never forgive us if we didn't tell them as soon as the first contraction hits. When I had my twins, I was admitted at 23w2d after a routine doctor visit. I had to be ambulanced to a hospital an hour away so I would be somewhere with a NICU. I had the boys at 24 weeks. The whole 5 days I was in the hospital, I was NEVER left alone. My dad took the week off work and my mom hasn't worked since I was in Kindergarten. Dad literally sat there and stared at me the entire time. I felt suffocated, not to mention the fact that I was overdosed on magnesium, throwing up, and having my blood drawn every 4 hours because of the mag OD. My husband's parents also stayed the whole time, only going home to shower and then come right back. They slept in the waiting room, while my parents and husband slept in the room with me. Even DH's sisters camped out and were down there every day. I wasn't allowed to eat because of the possibility of needing an emergency c-section, and my IL's brought Bojangles biscuits and Krispy Kreme doughnuts in my room for everyone each day. I was miserable and begging the nurses to just let me have one cracker. And to top it off, it was suffocating my DH, too.....so he would leave me alone with all of them to get out and be by himself for a while......I wasn't allowed out of the bed. If I could've run, I would have! I realize they were all scared to death and concerned for both the boys and myself, but I just wanted some time alone to process what was happening. This time, the pregnancy is going great (32 weeks tomorrow), but I know labor will turn into another circus like last time because the first time was so traumatic. I've tried discussing it with my mom, even mentioning that some people don't tell until after the baby is here....she very politely let me know that I had better not do that. I did get her to concede at least the first hour for just my DH and I to be with baby girl. Honestly, I don't dread the actual labor--I dread the family driving me crazy! And yes, I realize I have no guts whatsoever. I hate to make other people upset. If there's any way for you to rub some of that I'm in charge attitude off on me, I'd appreciate it!

ugh I have anxiety for you reading this! I know you say you don't have the guts to do it but maybe your husband can tell everyone instead. It should be a special bonding period for the two of you, not a circus event. Good luck!

gulimz · June 2015

We will only tell our parents when it happens. I told my hubby I don't want anyone in the waiting room though. They will get another call when she is born. That's when they can come after I'm ready. And I will tell the nurses and clerical staff that I don't want visitors till I'm ready. Sounds bitchy but honestly no one needs to wait in a waiting room. Wait in the comfort of your own house.

PurpleBookmark · June 2015

1. Our parents and siblings knew our date of induction both times, we didn't really update because things moved fairly quickly.

2. We called our parents and siblings once baby was here, once that was done DH posted on FB.

Personally we're happy with that, I think giving updates would be a little stressful to me.

Starynightsky24 · June 2015

We are not telling anyone till after she's born. My mom will know, but only bc DS will be with her.

We will then send each set of families a group text with a picture. Our family is weird about finding out on fb

Literally seconds later we will just post it on fb. I want to be the one to announce it, and I know they won't wait.

No one can come to the hospital till we send out a second text saying we are ready. It worked well with DS because he was born in the evening so we got that first night alone. I'm hoping for something similar this time too.. But even if it's morning no one can come till we are ready

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