Hubby doesn't seem interested

Lampeark13 · June 2015

I know my husband is excited to have a baby, me getting pregnant was no accident. But when it comes to anything baby related, like clothes, names, etc, he doesn't seem interested. It hurts because I just wish he acted as excited as me. Idk what the deal is.

Anyone else going through the same thing?

GhanimaAtreides · June 2015

The upside to this is that you can make AS MANY of the decisions as you want with minimal interference at this stage.

Trust me, once he starts having opinions on things like nursery decor, sometimes you'll wish he remained ambivalent and distant... Sometimes they have really WEIRD tastes. (cue all duck dynasty nursery... Kinda creepy)

CaraBoonie · June 2015

I feel babies are like weddings...men ultimately want them but don't actually care about the details, as long as the day comes and goes successfully. I agree with @Lizzie5831, use it to make decisions that make you happy! Just like most guys don't care what the wedding bouquets look like, they won't care what clothes you buy for a baby, I don't think it reflects disinterest in the baby

fragglemom · June 2015

It's kind of like with our wedding. He was excited to get married but couldn't care less to hash out every detail. He'll speak up when he feels strongly about something but I think he otherwise is pretty content to let me steer this ship. I think a lot of perfectly normal men are wired that way.

Mamabeagle · June 2015

If you're very early in your pregnancy he may still be getting used to the idea. Or, you may need to check just how much you're talking about baby things.

Mommyduclos · June 2015

He might feel like it's just too soon to discuss the details. My husband is always very excited and supportive, he rubs my tummy and all that good stuff right from the get go but he doesn't want to discuss names or go shopping or anything like that until much later- at least after the anatomy scan. Give him time. It's all very new still and probably doesn't feel as "urgent" to him as it does for you.

cawalp · June 2015

I thought the same thing about my husband, he never wanted to discuss anything or talk about names/shopping/color schemes. Then one day he just sits me down and starts telling me his financial plan for taking care of the baby all the way to college. I thought he wasn't excited but men just get into different things than women. He couldn't care less what color car seat I get as long as the baby is healthy and happy and is taken care of forever. Try not to get mad at him, I've made that mistake. Just understand that they get more excited about long term.

nanamp · June 2015

I think a lot of people need time to adjust to the idea, even if it is a planned pregnancy. I doubt my husband and I will discuss any of those things until we are through the 1st trimester....
He will come around eventually!

ChipMonster · June 2015

I am speaking generally because I know that this doesn't apply to every man.

I think that it takes men a lot longer to get excited about becoming a father. When we are pregnant, we feel the changes in our bodies. Men, on the other hand, don't see, let alone feel, these changes. I think that it takes longer for it to "hit them". Even now, my husband is constantly telling me that he forgets that I am pregnant.

I also felt the same way during my first pregnancy and one day my husband came home and said how he was thinking about the baby at work and that he was so excited to be having a baby. It was exactly what I needed to hear!

bananers · June 2015

With DH, he didn't really get excited last time until after the a/s, and even then he didn't really start "acting" like a dad until DS was born. He is an amazing father, though. Sometimes I feel like he's the better parent, lol! I have heard people say women become mothers when they get pregnant; men become fathers when the baby is born. I think there is some truth to this.

mundanesundays · June 2015

I didn't think my husband was that interested...until I saw his budget spreadsheet which now includes saving for the baby. I know he is interested when he makes a spreadsheet!

Paige6410 · June 2015

DH wasn't interested in any pregnancy anything until I really started to show. Then a little more at the a/s. Once we were settled into the hospital for the birth, he was like a different guy. I think it's difficult for men to relate when they aren't the ones directly affected, until of course the big day hits.
This is the only pregnancy that he's discussed names with me before the a/s, but that's about it. It hurt my feelings the first time around, but now I know it's just his way.

amargaret24 · June 2015

I sort of have the opposite problem. My fiancé is very opinionated! Like, Team Green = non-negotiable (which I was whatever about), baby names = must have a double letter (we both have that, Allison/Jedd), Social Media, specifically instagram annoucment is out (per weird followers he has due to his career), etc etc etc. Like.....dang! I'm just fingers crossed for healthy happy PGAL pregnancy. Maybe I'm like your husbands!? Haha..

BBEA2006 · June 2015

Men can't feel what you feel or the have that connection yet. Once your belly gets bigger, can feel the baby, etc., they tend to start becoming a little bit more interested. That said, out of sight, sometimes out of mind.

Monilee1017 · June 2015

I have noticed that a lot of the guys around me don't really get into it until the women is starting to show. I don't know if they forget or what but I notice a big change in friends and family men once they can see, a big stomach, and feel the baby.

SparklesC · June 2015

I've always heard, a woman becomes a mom the second she finds out she is pregnant. A man doesn't become a father until the baby is born. They just don't have the same connection as we do. Give him time and I agree it just means you get to pick whatever you want!

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