hard to get excited

shanaloehr · April 2015

i have a 6 year old son, so fully capable of having children. I got pregnant in October 2014 with twins. Lost both of them and it was heartbreaking because i never thought it'd happen to me. 6 months later, I'm now almost 6 weeks pregnant and scared every single day that I'm going to lose this one too...even forced the doc to do an ultrasound just to see the gestational sac..:/ any words of advice?

magandellinger · April 2015

Hey girl! I lost my twin girls September 2014 it was the worst heart wrenching pain I have ever had to go through. I was over halfway through my pregnancy. 6 months later I found out I was pregnant again, this time with a singleton. My heart goes out to you. I too am terrified every single day. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. Like I can't get excited about this pregnancy or every little pain or discomfort means I'm losing this baby. I know it's hard not to think like this constantly (it is a real struggle a very real one) but please know that you are not alone. There are others of us out there that can and do sympathize with you. Try taking it on day at a time. When I find myself getting frantic and anxiety ridden I try to stop myself and remind myself "as of right now you are pregnant. You are carrying this child. And this pregnancy is a blessing. Today is a good day because I'm still pregnant". My heart goes out to you and will be thinking about you in the up coming months!

Gene252 · April 2015

We found out in September 2014 that I was pregnant. In October during an ultrasound we found out things we not looking good for the baby. We continued to stay strong and not give up, but in November I had to deliver and we lost our baby girl. That was the hardest day of our lives. We all took the loss very hard especially our 12 year old daughter. For months I struggled to understand why, why us??? We just found out I am pregnant again. I am so scared and it is so hard for us to get excited. I have an appointment next Monday to do a sonogram. i just hope everything is ok because I don't know how I can handle another loss.

Charmndmom · April 2015

I've been told the best thing is to think "I am pregnant today" and try and enjoy that.

shupertj09 · April 2015

I felt numb when I was pregnant with dd. I was happy but scared the whole time. I was slow to start her nursery, buy baby items, tell everyone, etc...once you have a loss there is no way to go back and have a happy care free pregnancy. Now you know it can happen to you, there is no way to "un-do" that. I sure wish there was.

Once she started moving around and I really started to show, I realized this was really going to happen and I let myself be happy. The fear/anxiety never went away for me.

Slowly over time, it will happen. Every milestone of this pregnancy you will get a little closer.

Wishing you the best.

shanaloehr · April 2015

Thanks for the encouraging words. .. it really helps and means a lot!

KS0510 · May 2015

I lost two last year. I was so cautious about being excited for most of the first trimester. But once I had my ultrasound at 12-13 weeks and saw baby was fine, I cried and was immediately excited. We have never gotten this far so it felt like if we made it past those scary super early weeks, we'd be okay. And now I'm in the second trimester.

Vets1 · May 2015

I had a stillborn son last November & am currently 11 weeks now. The only thing I can do is remind myself that every pregnancy is different, it's unfortunately not advice that will ease your concerns (or mine) But it's the only thing keeping me positive. I really hope that this goes well for you and your blessed with a happy healthy child.

stefani0215 · May 2015

I lost twins in Oct, and one in Feb, now I am 10 wks & 2 days. I am terrified to get excited, but know that everything happens for a reason, and I'm trying to stay positive. I too thought that it would never happen to me. It was the most devastating thing I've ever had happen. My husband is upset that I am so negative and that I'm just waiting to miscarry again, but it's so hard to get my hopes up. Some great advice in these comments though. I'm going to try to remember those every day. I'll be praying for all of you!

hannahjayne13495 · May 2015

Thank you for this comment you've helped me to be a bit optimistic . I'm 12 weeks and still worrying constantly and scared xx

p_stone · May 2015

I too have struggled with finding ways to not stress out. This particular quote helped me, anyone else have other mantras/poetry/meditations that help them make it day by day?

at https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/emotional-life/grief-and-loss/managing-the-fear.aspx

Being a parent means being brave enough to open your heart to whatever may come — joy, fear, anticipation, loss, and everything in between — so that you are touched in ways you never imagined. It's a terrifying, fantastic journey, and you have embarked on it once again. So try not to deny yourself the ability to feel — which means experiencing the whole lot — and let your feelings blossom as you connect emotionally with the new life inside you.

shanaloehr · June 2015

Well I've made it to 13 weeks...going to doctor tomorrow!:) hoping everything is good! Thanks for all the great advice!

PlainJane8350 · June 2015

It's going to be great, good luck!

hard to get excited

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