Community› The Bump Month Clubs› August 2015 Moms
August 2015 Moms
New Discussion

first baby and in-laws

abbymolloyabbymolloy member
in August 2015 Moms
We're expecting it first baby August 26. My in-laws have been living with us since November, my entire pregnancy. As his due date approaches my MIL has already mentioned that they won't be financially really to move out for another 4 months. This has me completely on edge. I don't want our first experience as parents to be shared with anyone else. I want to have 1on 1 bonding time with my baby and hubs. I want to be able to be frumpy, grumpy, emotional without anyone around. My husband says "they'll say with us till they need the help." Is it selfish of me to want them out of my house before baby arrives?
Report Reply to Post

Re: first baby and in-laws

  • breannabreadbreannabread member
    Not selfish. Just make sure they're understanding that unless you ask for help or advice to kindly butt out. And hopefully they'll be understanding of the fact that it's your child and not theirs. You might enjoy the extra hands so you can get a nap in once in awhile. Try and look positively through this.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • lvrunningirlielvrunningirlie member
    Not selfish. But at the same time they are his parents and I wouldn't feel ok with kicking them out (assuming they aren't just being mooches and taking advantage of a living situation). You can maybe set some boundaries to how much privacy and alone time you guys would like with the baby just to make sure they aren't all in your space.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • sushilove15sushilove15 member
    You have the heart of a saint. I couldn't imagine my in laws with me for that long.

    Like PP said, make sure you set clear boundaries beforehand. And have your husband inform them of them, he must support you 100%.
    Report Reply
  • puccagirl77puccagirl77 member
    You might find you are grateful to have the extra hands once the baby comes. The situation isn't ideal, but that's true so often in life.
    Report Reply
  • jilladelariojilladelario member
    This is why I want a mother in law apartment at our next house. Separate living space just in case!

    I think you need to get a clear date on when they are going to move out asap and since that date will probably be after baby your husband should take the lead since they are his parents and let them know that when the baby gets here you will need time to find your new normal and if they could be as unobtrusive as possible you guys would really appreciate it.

    You didn't really say anything about how your relationship with them is, but I'm guessing it's not horrible since you've managed to live together for about 8 months.
    Report Reply
  • jlsweetsjlsweets member
    bless your heart! Even if you have a good relationship with your in-laws, having someone else living in your home is tough! I totally get your worries and feelings. After my first, I just wanted to be able to lay around the house braless, not pick up the house if I didn't feel like it, shower, etc. I'm a very independent person and also didn't require or want much help.  I don't feel your being selfish at all. If it does come down to them staying 4 more months I would definitely have an open discussion about having your own space and alone time!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    Report Reply
  • abbymolloyabbymolloy member
    I'm blessed to have a positive relationship with them. I know that my MIL will be a great help once baby arrives but I'm afraid that she'll want to take over. We've already had to make changes to our baby plan since they'll still be here. I've always wanted a specific room to be the nursery, well that room is filled from floor to ceiling with their boxes. I've had to accommodate another room to be the nursery. It shares a jack & Jill bathroom with their room and I honestly don't want them to feel like they have unlimited access to him. It's my husband parents and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but it's difficult to have this convo with him. I've almost run out of storage because they are essentially taking up 3 rooms of the house with all their stuff. So I'm having to get creative with where I'm putting things that I'm pulling from our guest room and have asked my parents to store things with them. I know that this is all stemming from hormones, nerves and anxiety so I ask that you please pray for me. Specifically peace, patience and encouragement and for the Lord to guide them in the right detection and to trust His timing.
    Report Reply
  • AGundyAGundy member
    Can they get a storage unit?
    Report Reply
  • lvrunningirlielvrunningirlie member
    AGundy said:

    Can they get a storage unit?

    This. And better to have the difficult discussion than go crazy internally (especially when you have the added stress of the new baby). Prayin for you girl!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    Does your DH have siblings that someone else could take a turn hosting them? If not, are you in a financial situation that you could lend them enough to help get them into their own place?
    Report Reply
  • abbybaby19abbybaby19 member
    Definitely not selfish. And i encourage you to address it now because when my first was born we were living with my parents. What my mother thought was helping, i felt was overbearing and made me feel like she thought i was incompetent. It caused us to have relationship problems that still arent completely healed. Not saying that would definitely happen to you, but when all you want as a new mother is to know you can handle it and be a good mom and someone is going behind you making comments about everything youre doing, its bound to get on some nerves.
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"