Wedding Advice

natalknitter15 · June 2015

Hoping to get some suggestions from you ladies!

I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding in a couple of weeks. I've had some trouble with fainting over the past month. I've been cleared medically by my midwife, who tells me to just take it easy and drink lots of water. However, I am terrified that it is going to happen again as I'm standing for 20-30 minutes during the ceremony. It's going to be in a conservatory/greenhouse, which I imagine will be pretty hot and sticky. On the positive side of things, I get to wear whatever shoes I want (comfortable flats in this case - fashion be damned!).

Do you think that it would be ridiculous to ask the bride (who is amazing and as far from a bridezilla as could be imagined) if she could have a chair in the front row reserved for me, in case I feel like I'm going to pass out? I usually have about 30 seconds of nausea and disorientation before I actually "go down" which would give me enough time to get to the seat. But by requesting that, I wonder if I'm being an overbearing, entitled pregnant lady who's trying to steal the spotlight from my dear friend on the day when she deserves the spotlight all to herself. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Favoritemandms · June 2015

I absolutely think you should ask for a chair to be handy for you. Please make your situation very clear to her so you can be prepared. It would be a zillion times worse for EVERYONE to actually faint than to have a seat set to the side with a cold bottle of water underneath in case you need to sit down for a moment. You can do this without drawing attention to yourself, fainting in front of a large crowd of people is the way to pull the spotlight away from her.

Also, by your comments, guessing your friend is pretty chill and will want to do this simple favor for you. I would have been happy to do it for one of my bridesmaids.

modanz1 · June 2015

Agreed, I would have done this for my bridesmaids with out question.

thefithuntress · June 2015

I'll be 8 months pregnant when I'm a bridesmaid and my bride already plans to have a chair on standby for my fat whale self. You're being super sweet and considerate by wanting to be prepared! I'm sure she'll appreciate your request.

elbou · June 2015

I agree with the other posters. It would draw way more attention if you fainted than if you discreetly excused yourself to go sit down.

Just a suggestion if either you or the bride is worried about drawing attention when you actually go sit down, maybe she could arrange for you to stand the farthest away from the bride so that you are closer to the chair? It will be even less noticeable if you slip out of the end of the line instead of somewhere in the middle.

I don't think it is asking too much at all, and from the way you describe your friend, I'm sure she would be happy to help.

dogsombrero · June 2015

I agree with the choir. Asking for a spot in case is a good backup plan.If you go down up front it will bring things to a screeching halt.

cdepperschmidt · June 2015

Agreed! Yes! Ask for a chair! No one will notice when you go sit down, but when you pass out the ceremony will stop.

tayzav · June 2015

I too, agree with PP. I think asking for a chair is most definitely reasonable and, if you were to go down, crossing my fingers for you that that doesn't happen, a chair would save you from possible embarrassment and her from completely halting the wedding. It may even be possible to have her mention to whoever the chair is placed by what's going on so they're prepared as well. Don't want them freaking out. I hope nothing happens but I think it's great your asking and preparing.

Escheffler34 · June 2015

I agree with the pp. Also, I think the way you worded it above is great, that you are trying to prevent yourself from being the center of attention and paasing out! she will completely understand!

nbpa3027 · June 2015

You have gotten some great advice and I think it is completely reasonable to have a chair available.

While you are standing up there, just make sure you don't lock your knees and make sure you have been well hydrated throughout the entire day and not just right before the ceremony.

Pontot31 · June 2015

Totally ask for a chair!
And maybe get one of those battery operated fans to cool yourself off if it feels hot. Have that and a bottle of water under the chair so you don't need to carry it.
It's much better for you to sit and be comfortable than for you to pass out.

I agree with not locking your knees too. And try to drink as much water as possible in the morning.

I'm in an evening outdoor wedding this weekend and I will be trying to get all my daily water in before we take pictures so I'm hydrated but don't need to pee every 20 mins!

mag9812 · June 2015

I don't think that's unreasonable at all, definitely ask for the chair! Just knowing it is there in case you need it will ease your mind and allow you to enjoy the ceremony much more than worrying the whole time what could happen. I second PPs in drinking lots of water and make sure you rest the days leading up to the wedding.

HoneyBadgerDoesNotCare · June 2015

I agree with PPs, to ask for a chair. You also don't sound reasonable at all! Rest up and enjoy the wedding!

lakesideknitter · June 2015

I was in an outdoor wedding a couple of summers ago. During the rehearsal, the pastor actually told all of us that there would be reserved seats on the outside of the first row for us if needed. He said the same thing as many PPs have said - people are looking at the bride and groom; they won't notice you quietly moving to a chair, but they will most definitely notice if you pass out.

natalknitter15 · June 2015

Thank you so much for the feedback, everyone. You've eased my mind. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell what's reasonable/unreasonable in this strange 9-month period. I'm going to give my friend a call this evening to talk about setting up a chair with a bottle of cold water for me.

And thanks for the advice to drink water throughout the day, not just right before the ceremony. I feel like it would be really easy to get caught up in the excitement of everything, so I'm going to be mindful to start the hydration process early.

On a side note, my husband and I just got back from our 20 week ultrasound. We found out that we are expecting a very healthy baby boy! So excited.

Favoritemandms · June 2015

Congrats on your healthy boy! Such wonderful news.

jasbaby2 · June 2015

I would certainly ask. I'm sure the bride would much rather have you sit down then pass out during her wedding! Perfectly reasonable

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