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terrified ill b alone during the birth.

realmammarealmamma member
in Military Families
So my husband is in the navy and he'll be doing workups around the time our child is due and his family is almost 6 hrs away. My family has a history of premature births so im terrified im going to b alone at the hospital and worse case driving myself their. Does anyone else have these fears or been through this what are some tips so I can stop freaking out.
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Re: terrified ill b alone during the birth.

  • DreaMakDreaMak member
    I have the same fear, my husband is getting talked to about deployment right now, but we dont know when he'll go this year, im due in September.
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  • realmammarealmamma member
    Its the most terrifying thing to me. Have u been through this before @DreaMak
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  • DreaMakDreaMak member
    No, first time for me @realmamma
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  • MeighanYMeighanY member
    @realmamma it is so scary to think about. But you have to stay strong. I'll be having our baby alone this time.
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  • kayba3kayba3 member
    I was in the same exact spot with my first. Hubby did workups last few months of it but he ended up being there for the birth. If you don't think you can handle driving yourself I was ways told to just call an ambulance. Most important thing is getting there safely.
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  • kayba3kayba3 member
    ^^And I'll be having my baby alone this time too =) for some reason it doesn't bother me anymore.
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  • realmammarealmamma member
    Thank you guys and I talked to my In laws yesterday and as soon as I go into labor they will b making their way down since the hospital wont take me in till contractions are two mins apart hopefully they will get here in time
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  • ashcleyashcley member
    My husband is deploying four weeks before the birth of our second child. The first being 8 this is terrifying to me because we just got placed at this base in alaska and I don't know anyone really except the few friends wives that I don't really care for. I told my husband that I wanted to go home to the east coast with my parents because if I had any issues like needing a csection that our older child wouldn't be able to help me and My parents would be over 12 hours worth of flights away. I completely understand your concern. I hope that your husband doesn't end up missing the birth because it will make things much easier but even if he's not its good that the inlaws will come and help. Just having any sort of support system helps tremendously!
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  • spank705spank705 member
    You should look into getting a doula. Super helpful and supportive experienced woman. It's her job to be there for you. I had one my first time and she was the only person holding my hand and encouraging me . You can maybe get a free one at your hospital. Look into it!
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  • meganjoellemeganjoelle member
    Definitely either look into a doula or try to make plans for friends to help out! On the chance that my husband is at work and unreachable when I go into labor, we have a pair of friends who are always on different shifts than him who have agreed to make sure they get me to the hospital and stay with me until hubby can get there. Quick labors run in my family and the hospital is 30 minutes away, so I had no choice but to put my trust in someone just in case.

    Also, talk to your ombudsman if his command has one! She may be a great resource to help find people willing to help, our FRGs have always had a Sunshine committee who worked to ensure everyone who needed help with meals or with rides to appointments is taken care of.
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  • amh0411712amh0411712 member
    meganjoelle said:

    Definitely either look into a doula or try to make plans for friends to help out! On the chance that my husband is at work and unreachable when I go into labor, we have a pair of friends who are always on different shifts than him who have agreed to make sure they get me to the hospital and stay with me until hubby can get there. Quick labors run in my family and the hospital is 30 minutes away, so I had no choice but to put my trust in someone just in case.

    Also, talk to your ombudsman if his command has one! She may be a great resource to help find people willing to help, our FRGs have always had a Sunshine committee who worked to ensure everyone who needed help with meals or with rides to appointments is taken care of.


    This. There is a program similar to OpLove that will provide a free doula for you if your husband is deployed. Also, please please please reach out to Fleet and Family, they have services to help parents (both seasoned and new) and can provide in home visits. The Navy Marine Relief also has a visiting nurse who can help with vitals and weight.

    Also, please make sure you reach out to your Ombudsman that way she can be ready to place the red cross message for you should your husband be gone.

    Please look into the FRG or FSG for a support group of friends to help in case your in laws don't make it in time. The FRG always tries to be of help to wives in this situation, where as your Ombudsman is the liason who can help find resources, the FRG is for family support.
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  • GhanimaAtreidesGhanimaAtreides member
    My DH was in Parris Island teaching the MCITWS course while I was at Camp Lejeune.

    Your worse case scenario actually happened to me. I drove myself to the hospital and it makes for a funny story a decade later... you think you'd hit the gas during contractions, but I slammed on the brakes. At 2am, not a huge issue. I also scared the crap out of the young gate guard who didn't want to deliver me right there. Baby was out 90 minutes after I checked in, so even if I gave DH a heads up when I left for the hospital, he wouldn't have made it. He did come up briefly the next day and hung out for the afternoon, I joke that it was just long enough to make sure baby looked like him before heading back to PI to finish the course. After the class wrapped he took his 10 days.

    They're usually well staffed at labor and delivery and a FTM is really never alone.
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  • SLGILL1978SLGILL1978 member
    Stay strong and keep yourself busy. My husband deployed when I was 5 months along. I have a winter baby and due to the weather, I wasn't sure if my mom was going to make it or not. She made it two days before my induction date. My step mom was too scared to be in the room with me. 
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