Graduate School Mama question

Huaylas · June 2015

Hey everyone! I am currently attending graduate school to obtain an MAT in science education. My program is only about a year long. My husband and I are highly anticipating the end of my program in spring 2016 so I can work full-time (lost my job last May and we have been doing our best to maintain finances on his full-time job). Unfortunately, if I take time off for maternity leave for the fall semester, I have to wait until fall 2016 to complete the program (fall is curriculum planning and spring is student teaching, which obviously can't be done in a different order), which would delay me getting a full-time job until fall 2017... not feasible for us financially.

I am due on 8/14, and the first day of the fall semester is 8/17. I have already received permission to wait until after Labor Day to start physically attending classes, although they (and I!) hope I can remote in before then. I fully anticipate having the baby late seeing as my mom was 6 days past due with my sister and 12 days past due with me. Luckily, my fall classes will be MWF from 8am-11am, so I won't have to be at school all day every day. I have some questions for any STMs who have gone through having a baby while in school.

1) How quickly did you return to attending class after having your baby? What was something you wish you could have done or prepared for differently?

2) I am hoping to breastfeed, and plan on doing my best to pump to provide milk when I'm in class. How did you manage pumping while having to attend classes? Where did you go to pump at school?

3) Have I lost my mind for trying to go back to school so quickly after having my baby???

Any advice would be helpful. Thanks ladies

taylorharber1108 · June 2015

Thank you so much for posting this!! I go back to school this fall also to start my masters also. Good luck with school and a newborn, you can do it!

amk013 · June 2015

I'm in the same boat. I would be graduating with my masters to be a family nurse practitioner in May 2016 if I wasn't having a baby! My last final is August 4th and I'm due the 15th. I've pretty much decided to switch to part time. Which delays my graduation by a full year. But, I feel like it will be worth it. I don't want to miss out on his first year basically by being so busy with school.

kedbach · June 2015

I wasn't a mom when I completed my masters in elementary education and it was tough. I did take the quick route and received my masters in less than a year but I recall it being super demanding. I also had classes pretty much all day. I realize your classes are only MWF for a few hours which is great, but just as it is being a full-time teacher, the work extends much further than just class time. I'm not doubting you or your abilities, or the fact that it can mort definitely be accomplished, I'm just so sorry it literally starts when you're due! I wish you had a few months to get adjusted with baby first! Best of luck mama!

Thj417 · June 2015

You can do anything you set your mind to... Just have to get the tools in place. Ask your professor/s if you can use their office or if they know of a place to go besides the bathroom to pump. If your hours are only 8-11, I think it is totally possible to make this successful transition even with a newborn. It will probably be a pain to jump back out there right away but again... It's 3 hours, 3 times a week, and getting you to where you want to be for the long haul.

Also, ask if you can skype in for class until you're recovered to make the trip into the University. Most professors (when I was in grad school) were more than willing to bend a little for a short time frame.

You have definitely not lost your mind - you're thinking of your family and for me that's number 1 on my list. Good luck momma! Keep us posted on how it goes!!

Seh114 · June 2015

I got my MA in ECE while pregnant, and after my son was born. I started classes when he was about 3 weeks old. I spoke with my professors about pumping before hand and they were very accommodating. They had an empty classroom wih no window in the door that they let me use (2nd floor so no worries with outside windows).

It wasn't easy, but it was so worth it!!!

lethanne · June 2015

I get it! I'm currently employed with a demanding full time job and attending graduate school. My program is geared towards working adults so luckily I have a lot of online and offsite work.

I'm set to graduate in October and due the first week of August. My thesis has to be completed during that leave time. But I knew there was no way I was pushing back graduation a year. So time to buck up and power through it! I actually am having a scheduled csection and asked to move it by a day so it didn't interfere with class. We just have to make it work!

You can do it momma!! Good luck!!

Huaylas · June 2015

Yeah, we talked about the Skype option until I'm recovered enough to attend class in person. I do wish I had the option of delaying, but the program doesn't lend itself to that. I am mostly worried about pumping and how to make that work. Unfortunately the school is an hour away from my home, so I'm looking at being over 5 hours away from my baby. I have heard of people pumping in the car, but I fear being distracted while driving and coming home to a hungry baby with recently-pumped breasts. I just don't know anything about how quickly breasts fill after feedings, so I am really concerned about that.

blovemama · June 2015

I graduated law school about a month ago, so I'm not technically a grad school student anymore. I am studying for the bar currently and will take that at the end of July. The bar is only offered twice a year (July and Feb). If I don't pass it this time, I'll have to put my career on hold until I do. It's a pretty intense multiday exam. Studying for it is essentially a full time job. Obviously our situations are different, but here's my 2 cents based on what I'm telling myself because not passing will really screw up things for me. It's going to be okay. Either things will go according to plan and you'll graduate on time, or they won't. If things don't work out how you want them to, it will be difficult financially, but you will still figure it out. The consequences of failure are really not as dire as they seem. You might not get to do it all how you want (graduate on time, breastfeed, etc.) and that's okay.

In terms of practical advice, how close are you to family? Can you have your mom, sister, or someone like that come help out the first few weeks you go back to school? My MIL had her first kid when she was in nursing school. She had to go back to school a few weeks after giving birth and her school was an hour from the navy base they lived on. She still talks about how difficult it was leaving her newborn, but she finished her program on time. Her MIL moved in with them for a few months after the baby came and that helped. I know she did have to give up on BF. Good luck and keep us posted!

Huaylas · June 2015

BritJonathan said:
I graduated law school about a month ago, so I'm not technically a grad school student anymore. I am studying for the bar currently and will take that at the end of July. The bar is only offered twice a year (July and Feb). If I don't pass it this time, I'll have to put my career on hold until I do. It's a pretty intense multiday exam. Studying for it is essentially a full time job. Obviously our situations are different, but here's my 2 cents based on what I'm telling myself because not passing will really screw up things for me. It's going to be okay. Either things will go according to plan and you'll graduate on time, or they won't. If things don't work out how you want them to, it will be difficult financially, but you will still figure it out. The consequences of failure are really not as dire as they seem. You might not get to do it all how you want (graduate on time, breastfeed, etc.) and that's okay.

In terms of practical advice, how close are you to family? Can you have your mom, sister, or someone like that come help out the first few weeks you go back to school? My MIL had her first kid when she was in nursing school. She had to go back to school a few weeks after giving birth and her school was an hour from the navy base they lived on. She still talks about how difficult it was leaving her newborn, but she finished her program on time. Her MIL moved in with them for a few months after the baby came and that helped. I know she did have to give up on BF. Good luck and keep us posted!

My MIL is willing and able to care for the baby when I go to class, but the caveat is that my nephew is a little over a year old and my SIL needs someone to look after him too. We live on opposite sides of town so that makes it difficult.

I'm sort of feeling, though, that it's time for my SIL to find another caretaker because she's been lucky enough to have my MIL since he was born. Maybe I'm just salty on that one since my SIL didn't have to pay at all for child care for an entire year. When I go to student teaching in the spring my MIL won't be an option because she can't stay with us for four months, so we will have to look into hiring a nanny or getting daycare. And honestly, we are looking into options for the fall since I don't want to only rely on my MIL due to this situation and the fact that she is her own woman. I wish I could just take my little one with me!

laurasuzanne2006 · June 2015

If you have a smooth delivery I think that could work but if you have complications going to class so soon out could be an issue

Huaylas · June 2015

I agree @laurasuzanne2006. I have many thoughts about this too and I have let my advisor know that if there are complications, it could be longer before I'm physically back in class.

rashelburne · June 2015

As much as it will stink to leave your baby a few hours a day three times a week, if you need it financially I would definitely recommend it. With my first son, I luckily finished classes right before he was born, but I still had to finish updating/studying for my oral exam which I took when he was a month old. My husband had to go back to work right away plus he started his own masters program. His biggest complaint is that he felt like he missed a lot of out son's first year, but he was gone more than three mornings a week.

Physically, you shouldn't have much of an issue sitting in class as long as your professor understands you may have to take frequent breaks to take a quick walk or pump. Pumping will definitely be the hard part, but someone there should be able to provide you with a suitable place to do it. One of my classmate actually ended up buying a plug for hers that she could use in her car.

Best of luck with whichever route you choose!

bhargrave88 · June 2015

I am in a fast paced BA program for business and have to return ASAP after baby arrives (my first fall class begins July 27-August 20th! I'm due the 18th!) . I attended school with DD1, and I was able to get a break to pump in my car, as I didn't feel comfortable in a bathroom. It was hard to manage a newborn +school but I was determined I would do well.. And I graduated with honors ! This time I do have to do the same, I'll have a meeting with my professors ahead of time (block scheduling so I have new classes each month), explain that I will need probably a 20 minute break, rather than a 5-10 minute one that we are allotted, and etc. usually if you meet with your professors or explain your situation, they are willing to make accommodations (within reason and limit) and are willing to help you by seeing that you are serious about both being a student and being a parent.

just don't be afraid to ask! I pumped and went to class.. And this time I'm only allotted an opportunity to miss 3 classes (1 week) or i get dropped from the program for the month. I can also request an incomplete due to medical, but it depends on the professor. Will you be tired? Yes. Will you feel like giving up multiple times? Yes! Will you feel like you are failing either your baby or your student career by trying to manage both? Yes.
Don't give up. Keep pushing yourself. It says leaps and bounds to a professor to see a student push themselves even when it's nearly breaking them, than a student up gives up as soon as it gets tough, and will be willing to work with you and help you.

Yes we are crazy. But is it worth it ? Yes it is

tarheelgirl8 · June 2015

I work for a major research university and there are several rooms spread out over campus that are specifically designated for breastfeeding/pumping. On our campus the initiative was organized by the Women's Center. I would see if your school offers something similar. In ours they have couches, a sink for cleaning pump parts, etc. Good luck with whatever you decide!

edit: I searched our website. At my university they are referred to as "lactation rooms".

Huaylas · June 2015

Thank you so much for all the great advice, everyone! I'm still feeling concerned about coming in late and finding time to pump, but I certainly know that I am determined to do this. I know I will experience levels of exhaustion I didn't know existed... but I know I can do this!

bhargrave88 · June 2015

I once went and took an college algebra final with only 1 hour of sleep, as my daughter had decided that I would get zero sleep that night (I even drove her around at 230-330am.. I brought her car seat inside and put it in her room and closed the door.. Didn't even take her out until she woke on her own. I fell asleep at 4, only to have to get up at 5 to drive to school). I managed to pass the exam, half asleep. Still not sure how.. Lol

kettlekitten · June 2015

Wow. Super mums. Good luck to you all, I'm very impressed that you're planning on doing so much so early. Makes me feel lazy and an underachiever!!!

Brownk1030 · June 2015

I am in grad school and also plan on graduating in Spring 2016. I take night classes. I am due 8/27 and classes actually start that week. My plan is to go to class until I cannot and hopefully go back asap. I am thankful my classes have remote options. I recommend keeping in contact with your school. Most are very accommodating.

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