First time mom... scared of labor???

Re: First time mom... scared of labor???

• sjw93 member

  June 2015

  I'm a FTM Aged 21.
  And that was my biggest fear. Having to fm have a baby naturally, was told I was going to have a c section at the beginning due having a operation a few months before.
  But they changed there mind.
  But when the day come when my labour started at 38 weeks!
  The fear had gone, I just wanted my baby out and I was going to get it out how ever I could.
  I didn't cry I kept control just breathed trough out it and only had gas and air.
  There obvs pain but I didn't care I just wanted my baby born healthy and safe.
  So the pain was worth it to have a gorgeous little boy at the end.
  My labour was only 6 hours and I didn't go hospital till the very last hour.
  Because I'm not one for hospitals and didn't want to be there for hours and hours.
  So I put it off long as I could.
  When I got to the hospital I was actually ready to push.
  All I can advise is breath through the contractions and I know it sounds so silly but keep it together because if you cry you lose control of the breathing and everything.
  You can cry after. Lol
  You will be fine. We were born to give birth!

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• sschwege member

  June 2015

  As pp said every person and labor is different.  My births were calm and I wasn't yelling or saying mean things, so it's definitely possible.  You should check out the book "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" the first half is filled with the most beautiful, inspirational birth stories.  Really gets you excited to give birth.  It's an older book so you could probably get it from the library.  Another thing to look into is Hypnobirthing or Hypnobabies, as I said my births were pretty calm and I attribute that in large part to Hypnobirthing.  You can find some Youtube videos of women who give birth under Hypnosis it truly is amazing!
  
  And if you do end up screaming at people, who cares?  All birth is beautiful!
  

  
  
  
  
  
  My Ovulation Chart

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• pixieprincss member

  June 2015

  Ditto to the suggestions above about taking a birthing class. Bradley Method might be a great option for you. Also, you could look into a doula. A great read is the book Childbirth Without Fear. It is an old book from the 1950s, but I really liked it. Personally, I enjoy the birth forums on Mothering.com. The homebirth and unassisted birth stories are particularly helpful because even if that is not your plan, the confidence of the women is inspiring. If you plan  to have baby in the hospital, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is a great read. 
  

  

  
  More Green For Less Green

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• plumpous member

  June 2015

  FTM, second trimester, just peeking in...
  
  I am taking prenatal yoga, and the instructor said that during the pains of labor and contractions, we will want to just let go of our inhibitions and react in a primal way to help the pain. Whatever you need to do to feel better, even if it's yelling and cursing, it is totally legitimate, and don't hold back.
  
  My mom told me yesterday that she went to the hospital with me at 2pm and I only came the at around 6am, and the whole time she was saying how she made a mistake and she should never have done this to herself, already having a healthy boy and girl, but of course, these are all temporary thoughts induced by pain. We laugh at it now.
  

  
  
  
  

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• ktyrd007 member

  June 2015

  We are loving our Bradley Birth Classes and I would definitely recommend taking some form of birth class. It's really empowering to learn what your body is capable of, and you watch tons of birth videos, you hear from moms who have given birth naturally and you just generally learn a lot which makes you less nervous. Takeaways so far that can be useful for you:

  
  

  - Do kegel exercises!! Every time you go to the bathroom just stay there and do 20 kegels. It will help the labor in a huge way.

  
  

  - Practice relaxing, set aside some time each day to lay down and relax. This will help you when your contractions come. 

  
  

  - Ensure that your partner or birth coach knows exactly what you need even if you can't express it yourself. Your birth coach should be available to get you anything you need (cold cloth for your head, water, soft music, a back rub, etc). They should also be ready, willing, and able to stand up for you and your wishes during the labor and birth itself. 

  
  

  - Understand that once you hit that "wall" where you think to yourself "I can't possibly do this for much longer" you are nearly finished!! It's called the Transition stage and your body is almost ready to start pushing. This is when a lot of women ask for the drugs because they think they can't handle it, but really the end is so close!! 

  
  

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• Bigboobsmcgee member

  June 2015

  I didn't want to go med free with my second kid but there wasn't time for an epidural. I wasn't yelling at my husband but I was screaming that I thought I was going to die. It was the most horrible pain I've ever felt in my life and I cannot for the life of me understand why people would choose to go without pain meds. The only positive was that I could get up and go to the bathroom right away. Makes me wish I would have taken a birthing class or 2. I assumed I would be able to get my epi and all would be good. Nope.

  Do your research, take birthing classes and try to be as prepared as you can be. It's a god damn rollercoaster.

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• Alyllyra member

  June 2015

  I suggest identifying exactly what you are afraid of and why, and then try to process those feelings.
  You seem to be afraid of yelling at people. Why do you think that is? Know that the hospital staff is used to hearing the most vile things during L&D and they never take it to heart. I know a MW who got kicked in the stomach by a woman giving birth. They just laugh it off, because its not personal. If you need to scream, scream! No one will think any less of you. And all will be forgotten once baby is here.
  
  Reading up on it is the best way to prepare yourself. PP have suggested great books. I also recommend the AMA Postpartum preparednes thread on TTGP (one of the stickies). It's a great read and holds lots of useful information!

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• janellepruett member

  June 2015

  Bigboobsmcgee said:

  I didn't want to go med free with my second kid but there wasn't time for an epidural. I wasn't yelling at my husband but I was screaming that I thought I was going to die. It was the most horrible pain I've ever felt in my life and I cannot for the life of me understand why people would choose to go without pain meds. The only positive was that I could get up and go to the bathroom right away. Makes me wish I would have taken a birthing class or 2. I assumed I would be able to get my epi and all would be good. Nope.

  Do your research, take birthing classes and try to be as prepared as you can be. It's a god damn rollercoaster.

  Way to make me more nervous
  

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• Alyllyra member

  June 2015

  janellepruett said:

  Bigboobsmcgee said:

  I didn't want to go med free with my second kid but there wasn't time for an epidural. I wasn't yelling at my husband but I was screaming that I thought I was going to die. It was the most horrible pain I've ever felt in my life and I cannot for the life of me understand why people would choose to go without pain meds. The only positive was that I could get up and go to the bathroom right away. Makes me wish I would have taken a birthing class or 2. I assumed I would be able to get my epi and all would be good. Nope.

  Do your research, take birthing classes and try to be as prepared as you can be. It's a god damn rollercoaster.

  Way to make me more nervous
  

  To be fair, you asked for more knowledge. Well, now you have it.
  
  I want to add that when the time comes and those contractions start you just have to go with the flow. There is nothing you can do to stop it, so just relax and enjoy the ride.

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• Elysia21 member

  June 2015

  I would recommend watching the documentary called "The Business of Being Born" you can find the full length version right on YouTube.
  
  I am also a FTM. But plan to get an epi. But for those who don't, that video would be quite empowering I think. Best of luck

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• unicornmomi member

  June 2015

  I'm nervous as well lol

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• marmar32 member

  June 2015

  My plan with my first was defiantly to have the Epi. But she came so fast that there was no time. Once I understood that I was not getting the Epi. I seriously forgot about it. I just wanted the baby out. I did curse the nurse for waiting so long. I still feel bad about that. I did apologize. I'm not even really a curser . I said really bad things. Anyway, I was so focused that she was coming all I could do was push. And she was out in no time. I actually forgot about it in a few hours. The doctors said I did my body a good service by having her naturally ! Because I could stand right to my feet and not be in much pain. You should try to do it. If you can , you guys can go home sooner! I was so happy the next morning when all the test came back fine. I'll try again with this one! The most important thing is if they say don't push, don't push. You will rip your lady parts!

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• theonaps member

  June 2015 edited June 2015

  I'm a FTM 30 yrs old planning to do natural, read a few books here and there and watchEd loads of YouTube births even graphic ones to try and prepare mentally.Didn't take any birthing class but have been advised to focus on my breathing during contractions and some form of distraction and all in all I'm not putting no pressure on myself if I eventually need an epi then so be it but so far the plan is natural, furthermore I like to think I have a high threshold for pain so we'll see
  
  Forgot to mention have a plan but if it doesn't go accordingly roll with the punches

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