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Go go go. Go go go!!!

groovylocksgroovylocks member
edited June 2015 in 2nd Trimester
I just need to rant. 

So I'm not going to go into the details but my job is changing. These are positive and welcome changes but the problem is that it is now involving a lot of travel. As in a lot. I spent last week in San Diego, the week before in Connecticut and the week after this one coming up is going to be back in Connecticut. 

This travel is interesting but it's exhausting. 

My boss is telling me the travel will have to continue if i don't agree to move my family to Connecticut. He feels for me, isn't going to force me into a move but is telling me that I'm simply physically needed there now. 

I get that. But my in laws, my only support in this country (because i'm not from here) are just down the street. They are also the only real cultural tie between our child and his/her heritage (hubby is Chinese) that is meaningful (instead of me and hubbub forcing it on them in a way that isn't meaningful) 

Work is trying to make it look really sweet. Salary may as much as double if not more. Expenses are paid. Area is better (Come on. Connecticut versus Detroit...) But husband loses his job for sure if we move. We will have to leave our family behind. I'm not sure what to do and i'm tired and cranky and just over having to make this decision on my own.
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Re: Go go go. Go go go!!!

  • PugsandKissesPugsandKisses member
    Wow, that is tough.
    Thank God for Raid.

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  • Clorette2Clorette2 member
    Where would you have to relocate to in CT?
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  • rue:Drue:D member
    Have you discussed this with your in-laws? Maybe they would be willing to relocate with you, or you could work out something to where you can all visit with each other often.

    I agree it would be hard to move and leave them, but if you truly enjoy the work, can get by until your husband finds a new job, it might be a great move.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    Clorette2 said:
    Where would you have to relocate to in CT?
    So we're being asked to come to the Fairfield-Norwalk area.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited June 2015
    rue:D said:
    Have you discussed this with your in-laws? Maybe they would be willing to relocate with you, or you could work out something to where you can all visit with each other often. I agree it would be hard to move and leave them, but if you truly enjoy the work, can get by until your husband finds a new job, it might be a great move.
    So interesting that you bring this up. We talked about my in laws staying with us for weeks at a time. But that's only if they retire when the baby is born. Right now they work from about 9am to 9pm because they own and operate their own restaurant. Their house is also totally paid off so they're probably not wanting to move. We don't want to ask them to retire even though they really should. (not for us, but for their own health - they work too hard)

    Even if ma retired, that would be ideal. We would have no problems with her coming to be with us for long periods of time. We're very close to them we want them to be close to our child.

    Here's the big thing though.. my husband has two jobs - one he'll lose but the other is part time Delta Crew so we fly on a family pass. Going home to see them is so easy IF we get seats (it's a standby thing - crew passes aren't guaranteed seats) But in order to keep THAT job he'd have to commute into NYC LaGuardia or JFK for work. 

    We're considering it because of the flying. My parents are in Nova Scotia so it doesn't really put us closer to them. 
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  • on_the_moveon_the_move member
    You can raise children without family around, I have 2 kids and we have never lived very close to family, but my kids still know their grandparents and get to see them a few times a year.  The biggest question is if your husband is willing to give up his one job and will be able to find another one.  Will you guys be in an okay financial situation if it takes a while for him to find a new job? 

    Rachel and Jeff Married 5.29.05

    Jason is 8

    Elizabeth is 6

    Katherine is 18 months 


    Lilypie Maternity tickers
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited June 2015
    I think if it happened here, we'd be fine. I was the breadwinner for months before he got this job, still am, really, but he's just contributing a salary now - and they aren't good to him on this job either. 

    I'm not sure how we'd do in CT, a very expensive state to live in, without his income - even though they'd adjust for all of that i still feel like we might lose out with a new baby coming. 

    Yeah, i realize we don't need paternal grandparents around - but they are our kid's tie to his old world language and culture (since hubbub is totally americanized) - i want them to have that influence. I want my kid to speak his second language and know where he comes from.
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  • christina4436christina4436 member
    Well if your salary doubles but husband doesn't have job, do you still come out ahead? Do you LOVE the job where finding something else comparable to pay would not be as fulfilling? Just questions to think about. Maybe your inlaws would move or visit part time if you determine moving is best for the long run.
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  • bobbiebellabobbiebella member
    I have friends who live in Fairfield, CT and they complain about the high cost of living. And they're professors in business. They say that with kids, it's difficult to save. I would consider this higher cost of living carefully.
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