Advice for a FTM

miristod · June 2015

Hello ladies! First off I hope everyone's having a great weekend. I'm curious to hear advice from all mamas on anything you wish you knew the first time around. Whether it be related to pregnancy, labor, or relationships during pregnancy. Any insight that might have given you a lightbulb moment!

-For me being a FTM I don't exactly have words of wisdom on pregnancy but I can say that going the extra mile to show my husband how much I appreciate all that he helps me with has really made us very close.

dogsombrero · June 2015

Everything is a phase and will end eventually even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

mmk29 · June 2015

Freezer meals and Netflix are your friend. Sometimes baby only wants to eat and sleep, in your arms, for 8 hours straight. Make sure you're in a comfy spot with entertainment available.

helsbels222 · June 2015

You've got some time for this advice but here it goes... be open minded when it comes to your birthing plan. Sometimes it doesn't go the way you want and that's okay.

oliarnmom1517 · June 2015

I was actually wondering about different stuff for once the baby comes.. Thank you OP for posting this!!!!

helsbels222 · June 2015

oorl11052015 said:
I was actually wondering about different stuff for once the baby comes.. Thank you OP for posting this!!!!

Sleep when they sleep. Also, your housework can wait. Don't get too stressed out if it doesn't get done. The beginning is bonding time and that's the most important. Oh and try to cook some meals to freeze before baby comes. You might be living off them for a little while.

Pontot31 · June 2015

Skin on skin can calm you both down in those early days.

Don't be afraid to say no to people and also to ask for help when you need it.

I second the sleep when the baby sleeps in those early days too.

The days will drag but the years really do fly by. I can't believe I have a 3.5 year old already.

mamavbs · June 2015

I think my only advice would be to not listen to too much advice haha. You will be overwhelmed with it throughout pregnancy and probably the next 18 years. Listen, but take what you need from it and make it work for you and your little family. Try not to stress about what others are doing or thinking or suggesting. Looking back, I wasted so much time with my 1st- worrying about things that just don't matter. Enjoy everything you can. I love both of my children so much, but you can't beat that first born magic when you don't have any one else to worry about except this tiny bubs (and you can go back to bed every morning if you fancy it!)

jennakraemer · June 2015

When your baby sleeps leave the room. I am still struggling to this day with my 3 1/2 year old. She can't fall asleep without my husband or I in the room.

lyankowi · June 2015

Get out once and while when baby is new born, if you can. I would go to a breastfeeding help class and a mood changes and moms group. It helped my baby blues so much just getting out of the house. Also try a date night with hubby before you go back to work.

Cook3133 · June 2015

2nd what people are saying about advice. You will find out what works for you and your child. Every child parent relationship is different. Don't try and compare what you're doing to other people, just because it works for them doesn't mean it will work with you so don't get discouraged!! Every child is different, even your own!!

Enjoy every minute! It does go by fast, you can never hold them too much in the first couple months. By month 3-4 they may not want to be held as much and prefer a jumper! Before you know it they're 1 and don't ever want to cuddle unless they're sick!

Take a deal breath and listen to your intuition.

nbpa3027 · June 2015

Babies come late and definitely prepare yourself to go over due, but remember that babies can also come early, so it is a good idea to have a pediatrician chosen, hospital bag ready, and other things in order by the time you get to that 37 week mark.

Don't expect for your birth plan to go exactly how you expect it too. Keep an open mind. And even if you plan on going into the hospital and getting an epidural right away, it is still a good idea to learn a little about the labor process(stages, etc.) just so you know what to expect.

Once the baby is here, join a moms group, even if you are going back to work. Those groups are more about the moms than the babies and it is really nice to get out of the house and see other moms that are going through the same thing.

Kind of similar to the last statement, make sure you get out of the house! Even if it Is just 10 minutes to the corner store to pick up milk. It wil be hard to do and take way more effort than you think is worth it, but in the long run it will definitely help your sanity!

kmkrushi · June 2015

Do not compare yourself to other moms or families. Do what is best for you and yours but realize it may not be what you thought.
You may not be able to breast feed, or you may hate it. The cloth diapers may end up grossing you out. Wearing the baby may feel like you're being suffocated. It's okay. All that matters is that they are loved, fed and healty. Don't stress yourself for perfection, be flexible.

rox7777 · June 2015

Get out of the house. Walk down the street, sit on the porch, do anything you can to spend a few minutes outside everyday. Being inside for extended periods of time can be quite depressing.

oaksem · June 2015

Thanks OP and all the contributing Bumpie mamas. All of this advice is so great and feels so well grounded! Thank you thank you! :x

sarahsnowball · June 2015

dogsombrero said:
Everything is a phase and will end eventually even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

This is the most valuable advice I was given. I spent so much time worrying about stupid stuff e.g.
Why doesn't he sleep through the night?
Why won't he take a bottle?
Why can't he crawl yet?
Why does he poke himself in the eye on a daily basis?
Why can't he say "Dada"?
Why does he refuse to eat his meals?

But yeah, everything is a phase. Some are just longer than others!

lopezalonso · June 2015

jennakraemer said:
When your baby sleeps leave the room. I am still struggling to this day with my 3 1/2 year old. She can't fall asleep without my husband or I in the room.

@jennakraemer DD epilepsia initially fall asleep and then we would leave the room. Then it became this thing where she wouldn't fall asleep for us or it would take forever so we decided to after a certain amount of time put her in her crib and leave. She will now cry as soon as we put her down but the moment she hears that door close she stops and then she'll play with her stuffed animal for like 3-5 min and fall asleep on her own. I think she was just trying to keep us in there and was trying really hard to stay awake.

lopezalonso · June 2015

My advice is to not be afraid to assert yourself when it comes to your baby. You can smile and pretend to be grateful for some unwanted advice but sometimes you just have to say no and that's ok. You're the mom.

Also, the sleepless nights will pass. I promise. And if you do plan on BFing, you'll get the hang of it eventually. If not, formula works and your baby will be happy to be fed and be with you

miristod · June 2015

Thank you ladies for all of the insight!

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