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August 2015 Moms
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Life and death

msmoleculemsmolecule member
in August 2015 Moms
MIL and SIL are hosting a baby shower for DH and I, planned for tomorrow. MIL called me in tears this morning to tell me that her mother (who has been ill for several months) passed away in the night. 

My first thought? We need to cancel this baby shower. But MIL insists that the show must go on. I know she means well, but I also know that she needs time to heal and grieve. 

I'm going out to see her today to spend some time with her and comfort her. 

I'm not sure what else to do :(
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Re: Life and death

  • carleym93carleym93 member
    I'm sorry your family is going through this. It's very hard. As someone who recently experienced loss as well, I can tell you your MIL probably wants to keep the shower going because it gives her something to do/think about. It will help her to focus on something happy and exciting. It's so kind of you to go spend the day with her today. That's really all you can do, offer your support and love. I know it doesn't feel like enough, but to her it will mean the world.
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    That is a really hard situation! The shower may help distract her though for the day. I think you are doing the right thing by going to spend time with her today and just be there for her - maybe you can cook her dinner or order her some take out tonight. I would also talk to your SIL and see if there is anything that you could take off your MIL's plate for the shower - maybe someone else can help out some to lighten the load?
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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    Sorry for your family's loss. DHs grandfather passed a few weeks ago. Its sad when the family wants to be celebrating a new life but has to also handle loss. I would think about what MILs mom would have wanted. Would she want you to drop all of this for her or want you to celebrate the new life? My hope is that she lived a wonderful life while here and would want you to continue the plans to bring a little joy to everyone's day. By all means you should do whatever you feel is best for your family, but I agree with pp that MIL may welcome the distraction. It will also help her relive some great memories from her past that she shared with her mom (her own baby shower amd the such).
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  • SaratiffSaratiff member
    And love that you are so sentive to MiL instead of throwing a fit because this would ruin your shower. You are doing the right thing. I agree with PP ask what you can do. Be there for MiL and enjoy the day. Distraction is often a good thing when you feel like there is nothing you can do. I am so sorry for your families loss. May she RIP.
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  • EmEeGeeEmEeGee member
    I'm with all the pp's above, but just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your family's loss.
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  • sandrabrookesandrabrooke member
    I am sorry for your loss :( 

    But I definitely will give her the choice to have the shower or not.  I know for me, I always want the show to go on...because its a distraction :) 
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  • shmarplershmarpler member
    It may actually be something she needs.  A few years ago we had a patient pass away in our office on the same day I had volunteered to take a friend and her family dinner after having a new baby.  Getting to hold a newborn was a sweet balm to the sadness of seeing some die.
    Married 8/29/09
    MC: 9/14
    Goober #1 born: 8/17/15
    MC: 9/16
    Goober # 2 EDD: 6/27/17
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