Moms with dogs

ldmw · June 2015

I never thought this would be me, but it is. My dog was my baby until I had my LO last month. I knew my relationship with my dog would change as it did during pregnancy. Since I've had LO our dog has been terrible and I'm ready to give her to other family members. I just struggle taking care of a dog that barks all the time and an infant. I feel bad for saying this, but I just don't have the same feelings for my dog anymore. Any other moms experience this? What did you do? I also feel bad that the dog doesn't get the attention she used to get.

supersarah77 · June 2015

Yes, we have a 1 year old dog and a toddler and all three together can really be a handful. Our dog is a member of our family, but also she is the lowest on the totem pole. There are times when she's chewing DD's toy or trying to snatch food out of her hand or licking DS's face while the other two kids cry and it's really stressful. Those times I'll separate the dog into the kitchen. I feel guilty that her life has changed but we're all adjusting to our new life right now. I feel confident that with time we will. Until then our dog sometimes also goes to doggie daycare to provide some respite for us and exercise and socialization for her.

danibonello · June 2015

OMG yes!! Our two dogs were our babies... but the second we brought LO home, I looked at them and just didn't care about them at all anymore. They spend a lot of time in our finished basement now because I don't have the time or desire to love on them, and I don't trust them with the tiny baby. I'd LOVE to rehome them, but nobody wants two 3-4 year old dogs... and I can't /won't bring myself to take them back to the shelter.

For now we're stuck.... but yes I totally get how you feel!

ldmw · June 2015

Thank you ladies! I am so glad I am not alone in my feelings. My husband and extended family made me feel bad/guilty of my feelings, but you've made me feel better.

nursej519 · June 2015

I am there too, although I couldn't bring myself to give her away. I still love my dog. It is just so frustrating BC our dog has been acting out.. Peeing on the floor, taking off down the road this morning (we live in the country and she has always stayed in our large yard). It is getting to be stressful. I think the doggie daycare idea is great.

danibii · June 2015

It's definitely been an adjustment. For me, my DH has stepped up to love on them and meet their needs. I have hope that as LO grows things will get back to "normal" between me and pups

cassietegtmeier · June 2015

Not the same feelings because our dog love my husband more and that's just fine with me but it amazes me how many times a day I have to says "don't lick the baby!"

ali0608 · June 2015

cassietegtmeier said:
Not the same feelings because our dog love my husband more and that's just fine with me but it amazes me how many times a day I have to says "don't lick the baby!"

Every day I'm saying this! My dog is older now and already been through one baby. My husband did step up and start taking him for walks. I love my dog and can't imagine getting rid of him. He is great with the kids. He always brings his toys over to the playmat when baby is there. Sorry I can't be more help!

mistyjewel88 · June 2015

Don't get rid of your pups. This will pass and you will love them and have time for them again soon. Mine are family and even though they can make me crazy sometimes you don't give up on family.hope this helps a little.

Amber Woods · June 2015

It's not your dogs fault you had a baby! When the baby is sleeping take a couple minutes to snuggle with your pup, throw the ball, whatever. They just want attention. Yeah it's annoying when the dog barks but they are part of your family and you just gotta adapt. Eventually the baby will get bigger and love their pup!

ChrissyluvsPuppies · June 2015

I have two dogs and while I can understand this process being challenging, I don't understand how anyone can stop caring about their pet? I am struggling to find time for everything and my pups aren't getting as much attention as they are used to but I make sure to take time for them everyday and I'm lucky that dh helps . I sometimes feel bad but remind myself that this isn't permenant and eventually we will find our groove. My puppies love the baby too so I am looking forward to everyone playing together in the future.

ewiley63 · June 2015

I feel you girl! We're in an apartment too which makes it even worse! I'm just trying to make sure we give the dog snuggle/plenty of walking time throughout the day. We also put her in her kennel periodically but the kennel is in the living room so she still feels like a part of the family.

courtneylevesque · June 2015

I have two dogs and I find that although I can't cuddle them much anymore on the couch cause I'm holding the baby they usually still enjoy laying near the two of us so they can still be apart of the group. It also helps that they both sleep with me and DH at night. I haven't had any behavioural problems with either of them since LO was brought home and I think this is why. Good luck, hang in there, I know it's hard now but you might regret getting rid of them in the future when thinks with LO settle down. Plus every kid wants a dog lol

MrsElizabethPlano · June 2015

I guess that since I'm a STM baby hasn't changed the way I feel about my dogs. Then again when I had my first baby I felt the same about one of my dogs and was very very tempted in getting rid of the rough one. Glad I didn't. The rough one plays well with my toddler and the old one sits around and is very fluffy ^_^ Neither of them have had a walk or run for a couple months though.......

emilyk527 · June 2015

I have three dogs. I still love them and care very much about them, but I love my little girl more. It's a different kind of love entirely.

That being said, for anyone considering giving up on their dog - if your dog's activity level drops they are likely to act out. This isn't the dog's fault. I suggest asking family for help the first few months, walking the dogs or taking them for a weekend. Take the baby and the dogs for walks, any activity should help the dog's behavior.

morgansWed105148 · June 2015

I still love my dog, however when I first came home I was so exhausted and working on being a first time mom I didn't have time to think about how I felt about her or give her the attention she deserves! Maybe you guys just need time to recover! We did go thru a physical and emotional experience! I am finally getting back into the grove of things. I've had the energy and time to cuddle and walk her the past few days! So we are getting back on track

menta84 · June 2015

I don't understand how anyone can say they don't care about their dog anymore the second you had a baby. I'm sorry but you should have never gotten a dog on the first place if that's how you are handeling things. I have a 5 week old and even though it's been hard to find time to walk our dog, I still love him and I do find time to give him a cookie or give him a hug and pet him. My husband does the same. Our dog loves the baby. Yes he barks sometimes and wakes up the baby, or gets too close to his face, etc. but these are things that aren't his fault, he is just following his nature. It's frustrating at times yes but to say I don't care about him anymore? Never. It's not his fault we had a baby! I feel bad for those puppies who are getting treated like they are worth less than before because of the birth of a child. I understand adjustments have to be made once you bring a child home but not to the point of getting rid of your dog, how cold hearted. I'm sorry but I have no respect for people that treat animals like they are a pair of old shoes that need to be thrown out.

borntorun17 · June 2015

While I don't have as much time for my dog, I still love him. We spent a lot of time training him before baby and he's been great. He always responds to commands to leave baby alone if he gets too close. And I play with him when baby's napping of when my husband has baby. He's actually been really protective, napping in front of baby's crib and running into room when baby cries. I couldn't imagine giving my dog away right now either....

ldmw · June 2015

menta84 said:
I don't understand how anyone can say they don't care about their dog anymore the second you had a baby. I'm sorry but you should have never gotten a dog on the first place if that's how you are handeling things. I have a 5 week old and even though it's been hard to find time to walk our dog, I still love him and I do find time to give him a cookie or give him a hug and pet him. My husband does the same. Our dog loves the baby. Yes he barks sometimes and wakes up the baby, or gets too close to his face, etc. but these are things that aren't his fault, he is just following his nature. It's frustrating at times yes but to say I don't care about him anymore? Never. It's not his fault we had a baby! I feel bad for those puppies who are getting treated like they are worth less than before because of the birth of a child. I understand adjustments have to be made once you bring a child home but not to the point of getting rid of your dog, how cold hearted. I'm sorry but I have no respect for people that treat animals like they are a pair of old shoes that need to be thrown out.

I don't see anywhere in this thread were anyone said they don't care about their dog anymore. I said my feelings have changed. Changing how you feel about your dog and not caring about your dog are too different things. My dog still gets plenty of love and attention. Yes, it's less often than what she used to get but that's common.

danibonello · June 2015

menta84 said:
I don't understand how anyone can say they don't care about their dog anymore the second you had a baby. I'm sorry but you should have never gotten a dog on the first place if that's how you are handeling things. I have a 5 week old and even though it's been hard to find time to walk our dog, I still love him and I do find time to give him a cookie or give him a hug and pet him. My husband does the same. Our dog loves the baby. Yes he barks sometimes and wakes up the baby, or gets too close to his face, etc. but these are things that aren't his fault, he is just following his nature. It's frustrating at times yes but to say I don't care about him anymore? Never. It's not his fault we had a baby! I feel bad for those puppies who are getting treated like they are worth less than before because of the birth of a child. I understand adjustments have to be made once you bring a child home but not to the point of getting rid of your dog, how cold hearted. I'm sorry but I have no respect for people that treat animals like they are a pair of old shoes that need to be thrown out.

I love my dogs and never imagined it being less than perfect when baby came home. Our dogs are very well trained and we spent lots of time preparing them for baby. Bottom line is, while they are family, they are also animals, and are not 100% predictable. If i feel for even a second that my dogs are not trustworthy around my baby, I will do whatever I feel is necessary to protect my CHILD. I understand that dogs will be dogs, and it's not their fault, but the fact remains that no matter how much I love them, they will never ever ever be worth more to me than my daughter. If you want to "lose all respect" for me because I feel that way, then I wonder more what that says about you than me...

menta84 · June 2015

@danibonello make up your mind and let's be real here. First you say that the second you brought your LO home you didn't care about your dogs "at all anymore" - your words not mine. Then You said that they spent most of the time in your basement because you "have no desire to love on them". So what. Do you love them or not? Because to me it seems like you are back pedaling from what you said before. Also, don't try to twist things around. Of course if a dog shows signs of aggression I would have to take action to protect my child and even myself. But you never said that that was the problem, you simply said the fact that you had a baby made you realize that you don't care about your dogs anymore. And yes, I think is messed up. Hope your pups find someone who will care for them long term like is supposed to be.

danibonello · June 2015

You are correct. I did say those things and felt that way. We have since been attempting to integrate them back into life with baby. One of them growls at her and the other jumps up on us when we have her. I do care about them... but yeah, not enough anymore. you can make me the villain, I really don't care. Parenthood brings judgement of all types. I'm going to do what's best for my family. I've already said I'm not going to throw them out like an old pair of shoes. They will remain in our family unless we find a better situation for them. If I was a monster I'd drop them at a shelter and not care what happened to them.

Sorry we can't all have perfect situations.

ldmw · June 2015

danibonello said:

menta84 said:
I don't understand how anyone can say they don't care about their dog anymore the second you had a baby. I'm sorry but you should have never gotten a dog on the first place if that's how you are handeling things. I have a 5 week old and even though it's been hard to find time to walk our dog, I still love him and I do find time to give him a cookie or give him a hug and pet him. My husband does the same. Our dog loves the baby. Yes he barks sometimes and wakes up the baby, or gets too close to his face, etc. but these are things that aren't his fault, he is just following his nature. It's frustrating at times yes but to say I don't care about him anymore? Never. It's not his fault we had a baby! I feel bad for those puppies who are getting treated like they are worth less than before because of the birth of a child. I understand adjustments have to be made once you bring a child home but not to the point of getting rid of your dog, how cold hearted. I'm sorry but I have no respect for people that treat animals like they are a pair of old shoes that need to be thrown out.
I love my dogs and never imagined it being less than perfect when baby came home. Our dogs are very well trained and we spent lots of time preparing them for baby. Bottom line is, while they are family, they are also animals, and are not 100% predictable. If i feel for even a second that my dogs are not trustworthy around my baby, I will do whatever I feel is necessary to protect my CHILD. I understand that dogs will be dogs, and it's not their fault, but the fact remains that no matter how much I love them, they will never ever ever be worth more to me than my daughter. If you want to "lose all respect" for me because I feel that way, then I wonder more what that says about you than me...

Amen!

ldmw · June 2015

danibonello said:
You are correct. I did say those things and felt that way. We have since been attempting to integrate them back into life with baby. One of them growls at her and the other jumps up on us when we have her. I do care about them... but yeah, not enough anymore. you can make me the villain, I really don't care. Parenthood brings judgement of all types. I'm going to do what's best for my family. I've already said I'm not going to throw them out like an old pair of shoes. They will remain in our family unless we find a better situation for them. If I was a monster I'd drop them at a shelter and not care what happened to them.

Sorry we can't all have perfect situations.

We all go through so many emotional, physical, and mental changes after having a baby. You are no villain. You're a mom and a pet parent trying to do the best you can for every living thing involved.

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