Pacifier or No Pacifier?

MouseMama817 · June 2015

FTM here. I've never seen the harm in giving the baby a pacifier but now I'm starting to hear from STM's that weaning them off of it is a huge task. Is it really as bad as they say or is that a matter of opinion?

Perfect Sonnet · June 2015

I think it is different for different kids. My first daughter used one until she was 6 months. At that time, she spit out and wanted nothing to do with it. However, it was a life saver for those first 6 months.

atthemoment · June 2015

Im wondering the same thing. I am strongly leaning against it but DH wants to use it. My nephew will be 4 in August and he has it in his mouth still literally all the time and will cry for it if he doesn't. I dont want to even consider going through that! I might use it due to its implications around SIDS but even that info seems conflicting

hcook321 · June 2015

If you plan to breastfeed I've heard that not using one right away will help encourage proper latching and such. When is a good time to introduce one to them then? Or is it not a big deal to use it right away?

ptelfra · June 2015

I don't think it's a big deal because it helps a lot with soothing and comforting them so that's kind of a help for us, I feel like it's just like weaning them off of drinking out of a bottle when they hit a certain age it's something that takes a while either way.

victoriaaa1 · June 2015

I think it depends on your kid . I've seen someone who wean off easily and with no problem and then I seen others who just can't be without it , but then again I think that all depends on how you go about it and how you wean them off...

Miz_Liz · June 2015

Honestly, you can decide if you want to use one or not, but your baby will have the final say. When I had DS I had registered and received some and (obviously) wasn't against using one; however he REFUSED to take ANY paci. It wasn't for lack of trying on my end during those adjustment periods when he just really needed soothing, but he would never take it. So just keep in mind, even if you want to use one, you may not be able to!

MouseMama817 · June 2015

@hcook321: I never thought about the interference it may have with latching! That's a very good point. For some reason I have a lot of anxiety about breastfeeding and whether I'll be able to or whether she will be receptive. I want to do everything I can to make it a success.

Starynightsky24 · June 2015

DS used one till last week. He's 22mo. I plan to offer one to DD as well. In my opinion the benefits far outweigh the headache of weaning.

DS bf till 15mo and it never interfered. We did have latching issues, but it was due to a tongue/lip tie. Not a pacifier.

leighalou91 · June 2015

messymolly08 said:
@hcook321: I never thought about the interference it may have with latching! That's a very good point. For some reason I have a lot of anxiety about breastfeeding and whether I'll be able to or whether she will be receptive. I want to do everything I can to make it a success.

I'm an RN in a NICU, and when I float to the post partum unit, we teach parents to wait about a month to introduce a pacifier to breastfeeding babies. Now I'm a FTM and not sure if I'll wait a full month, but I do want to establish a good latch and breastfeeding before introducing it. Our hospital is "baby-friendly" and will not provide pacifiers to healthy babies in the unit.

ETA: I also know babies who have done just fine breastfeeding who had pacifiers as newborns! I think it really depends on the baby.

jessandandy09 · June 2015

I was against it with my first, as I heard it could cause latching problems with nursing. I have heard since that it does not cause any problems with nursing and can be very soothing for newborns.

so far none of my 3 babies has used one (I tried once or twice and they weren't interested) and none of them sucked their thumbs either.

Well, my 3rd child sucked her thumb at age 3 for about a week. This freaked me out, but she promptly stopped on her own so *whew*

What I can't stand to see is children at 2 walking around and taking it out to talk. YUCK. Plus the speech pathologists that I work with says it can cause delays/difficulties in speech developement

Kelsie07Ulmer · June 2015

My son is 20 months and is still not giving up the pacifier! The struggle is real! He doesn't have it all day at daycare, but as soon as he's out he's like a crack addict! He screams for his mine!(that what he calls it) At this point I'm losing the battle and just accepting that my son will have a pacifier for life. So we are definitely going to try and not do a pacifier with this child just because I don't want to have to go through this again.

jessandandy09 · June 2015

Kelsie07Ulmer said:

My son is 20 months and is still not giving up the pacifier! The struggle is real! He doesn't have it all day at daycare, but as soon as he's out he's like a crack addict! He screams for his mine!(that what he calls it) At this point I'm losing the battle and just accepting that my son will have a pacifier for life. So we are definitely going to try and not do a pacifier with this child just because I don't want to have to go through this again.

I don't know if this would work because I didn't use them and I have not research to back the safety of it, but my friend starts around 1 and 1/2 by cutting off a little bit of the pacifier each week. She says she literally takes a pair of scissors and starts slicing off a little bit and eventually (I assume when there is not much left) they discard it on their own. She has done this with her 2 children. Good luck to you :-)

Starynightsky24 · June 2015

jessandandy09 said:

Kelsie07Ulmer said:

My son is 20 months and is still not giving up the pacifier! The struggle is real! He doesn't have it all day at daycare, but as soon as he's out he's like a crack addict! He screams for his mine!(that what he calls it) At this point I'm losing the battle and just accepting that my son will have a pacifier for life. So we are definitely going to try and not do a pacifier with this child just because I don't want to have to go through this again.

I don't know if this would work because I didn't use them and I have not research to back the safety of it, but my friend starts around 1 and 1/2 by cutting off a little bit of the pacifier each week. She says she literally takes a pair of scissors and starts slicing off a little bit and eventually (I assume when there is not much left) they discard it on their own. She has done this with her 2 children. Good luck to you :-)

This is how I got out of it with DS last week. He chewed the thing so much that it got a hole in it. He then slowly started to not like it as much until one day we just didn't let him have it.

Quote fail.

lvrunningirlie · June 2015

My first got his paci in the hospital lol. It was a complete soother for him. He had no problem latching and feeding so I wasn't even concerned with the breast feeding aspect (not to mention for other reasons he was on formula around 4 weeks old).

We had a set plan for weaning him off the pacifier. When he turned 6 months we took his paci away from him everywhere except the crib. He was allowed to use them to self soothe while sleeping but not during awake hours. It took him a few days, but he got over it pretty quick. At a year we took them away at night. The first few nights he would still search for them (we had like 6 in his crib so he could find them no matter where he was). But we did the cry it out method when he was like 5 months, so there were a few days of rehashing that process and then he was fine. It really helped that we had them completely out of sight so they weren't in his face but unable to be used.

I was worried about letting him have them past a year because then I think they get super attached. Like most things in parenting, the transition wont be easy but you have to be more hard headed than your kid lol.

hcook321 · June 2015

Thanks for the advice @leighawilson91 !!

SassetteSmurfling · June 2015

Weaning will be different for every baby. I personally think the earlier you do it, the easier it is.

That being said newborns have a natural need to suck, so I'm not opposed to using one.

With DD the hospital gave her one in the nursery without even asking me so she had it from the first day on. I had her completely off of it by about 6 months.

With DS we held off just a day or two, but he had a strong latch and was a champ with nursing, so I had no problems giving him one when I felt he was just comfort sucking and didn't actually need to eat. He was mostly off the paci by 6 months but still used it for for sleep until maybe 7 or 8 months.

I really had no trouble getting either of them off of it.

Wering · June 2015

We avoided the pacifier with my daughter for about 4 weeks after she was born - I wanted to establish a good nursing routine before we used one. However, be warned - that means I turned into a pacifier for a period of time! I probably could have given her one earlier. But she was SNOOTY about which pacifiers she'd take and which she wouldn't.

She was breastfed until 18 months and kept her pacifier until approximately 22 months.Weaning isn't terrible. We did it in stages - first we took it away during the day when she didn't have a reason for it (she wasn't hurt, she wasn't tired, etc) - about 16 months. Then we took it away all day unless it was nap or bed - about 17 months. Then we took away nap - about 19 months. Then we took away bed - about 22 months.

There are lots of techniques on how to wean your kid. The biggest issue I see is that they'll not breastfeed properly in the beginning. Plus, they'll find something to suck on. And it's easier to take away a pacifier than a thumb....

CaliforniaDream87 · June 2015

This is really one of those things you have no idea about until you go through it. We just weaned my son off (22 months) and it was the hardest thing we've done. Horrible. We don't believe in letting our kids "cry it out" so it was hard-but worth it.We set a goal (for him to be weaned by 2) and he met it. The bottle was literally a day. He woke up and didn't want it anymore. Every kid is different so as a FTM its not good to assume what one kid will struggle with. We plan to offer DD a paci but not to go past 12 months. That's the plan though. Who knows what will happen....

hclzmm14 · June 2015

I used one right away and didn't have problems with latching. She loved the paci. My advice is to just take it away at 5 or 6 months and never give it again. That's what I did and she didn't even care. She has been easy to wean from everything though. She was completely weaned from a bottle at 11 months and has used a cup ever since and we never had any issues with that either.

bhargrave88 · June 2015

My DD had one in the hospital, then wouldn't take one again til like 6 weeks. She screamed for hours and hours on end in those newborn days..

She will be 3 in October. I haven't been able to break her from using her binky at night to fall asleep.. I've got her off daytime.. But she will refuse to even lay down without one. I am refusing to buy her anymore after this tho. She is chewing them and I'm tired of replacing them. I'm not looking forward to those times of trying to get her to sleep without it.
However it never interfered with her breastfeeding. They say the same thing About introducing a bottle too for the same reason. My DD had no issues breastfeeding or taking a bottle of expressed milk. So I'm not sure I put too much stock in those warnings.. But each child is different. So I guess I'd have to "wait and see"

LSquared3960 · June 2015

My son was definitely a bink addict. He took to one right away (I only breastfed for a couple weeks, but it didn't affect his latch), and at 2 we only let him have it for naptime/bedtime. I agree that the benefits outweigh pain of getting rid of it.

When it was time to get rid of it for good, we talked about it a lot with him for several weeks around bedtime. Then one day we cut the tips off all of them when he wasn't around. That night when he went to his bed and grabbed it he said "uh oh, it broken". He didn't cry that night, and cried maybe a couple times for a week or so after. It really was a lot easier to get rid of than I thought.

sdbmomma · June 2015

I was just reading the book "happiest baby on the block" and it says to introduce the pacifier around 2-3 weeks (once a good breastfeeding relationship is established) and then try to wean around 5-6 months before they develop an emotional relationship with their pacifier.. At that age babies are more capable of self-soothing in other ways as well. That being said... I have 6 nieces and nephews and some have started using pacifiers from birth and some hated them.. One nephew still loves his at 15 months but it's really a child by child scenario!

e1223 · June 2015

I waited too long with my first to try (fear of nipple confusion) and she wouldn't take any of them. She became a thumb sucker anyway but the first few months were rough without that to soothe her. My 2nd took one (because I gave it to him basically from birth) and once he was around 3 months old would take it out of his mouth and suck his thumb instead. I will give this kid one in the hospital, and if they continue to take it, would take it away during awake time by 6 months and at night by probably 2 years old.

aseajack · June 2015

I prefer to try the pacifier route myself, my oldest.. Now almost 12 years old was very attached to his pacifier until around 18 months then one day we were walking through the store and I told him he was almost a big boy and would have to throw it away soon and he threw it on the floor in the middle of the store so I picked it up and there it in the trash and he never asked for another one. My almost 4 year old twins started out with a pacifier until around 3 months then they insisted on sucking their thumbs and we have tried everything to stop them since but they still do it when they sleep, even taking their thumbs out of their mouths when they are sleeping doesn't work because they go right back into their mouth.

jesselayne8 · June 2015

With my first I waited to give a paci and then she wouldn't take one no matter what brand. #2 got a paci in the hospital after a 3hr non stop nursing marathon and my nipples just needed 30 min of rest. He only took a paci for maybe a month and he nursed no problem for 13 months. The nurses were not very nice when I asked for a paci so this time I will make sure to bring my own for #3.

malisaann · June 2015

We tried to get our daughter to take one, but she wouldn't! There were times when she was an infant that I really wished she would have, but now that she's 21 months, I'm glad it wasn't a habit I've had to break.

ambah · June 2015

My daughter had a pacifer from day 1
...she used it all the time for the first year and then we only let her use it during sleep time, teething or when she was sick. She is now two and with baby 2 on the way we decided to try to get rid of it. We went to toys r us and let her pick out a teething ring (she has 2 molars left to come in) and from that day on her soothers were "broken". No problems at all!!! It was such an easy transition, we were more worried about it! We leave the teething ring in her crib at night in case her teeth bother her, but she has only used it a few times.

mlc100805 · June 2015

Every kid is different. My oldest gave it up on her own at 8 months, and my 2nd had hers until she was nearly 3 but had no trouble giving it up. I will give this baby one for sure, it makes life so much easier!

gmd88 · June 2015

I am a FTM and was anti pacifier for that reason but in a class I took recently they said that as long as you take it away at 6 months you'll be fine.. Once you go past a year, you're screwed. Also the current thinking is that a pacifier at night time helps prevent SIDs. Think I'm going to go for it and be very diligent about getting him off it by 6 months.

Thj417 · June 2015

STM here, my boy never took - refused a pacifier or sucked his thumb. Expect the unexpected! He now sleeps with a doggie lovie for comfort.

gmd88 · June 2015

Oh and another argument is if they aren't given a pacifier and they choose to suck their thumb... Well, you can't take that away. And it can have impacts on their teeth etc.

kettlekitten · June 2015

I think the moral of the story based on all the above comments is to keep an open mind and don't try to make decisions before baby arrives. You can't possibly know what he or she will be like.

Here's how my thinking went.... I didn't want to use a pacifier (or dummy as we call it in Australia) for reasons that others have mentioned - didn't want the hassle of weaning, or to have an older child walking around with one. When DD arrived and turned out to be so unsettled, I no longer cared about that. we were desperate to have her calmer in the evenings and tried giving her a dummy but it made her gag and she spat it out. We tried multiple times over a few months but she never would take it - even though she would BF with a nipple shield and sometimes take a bottle, a dummy was not something she was interested in. Even now at over 2, she is still very unsettled at bedtime and I can tell you I still cry tears of frustration at least once a week trying to get her to sleep. It is really, really difficult and stressful at times, and we have lost most of our evenings since she was born spending up to several hours trying to settle her. If I could have saved myself the stress and frustration of over two years of this by using a dummy, I absolutely would have, without a doubt.

With this baby, I will make sure breastfeeding is established (hopefully much easier this time) and if he is also unsettled like DD, no problems giving him a dummy whatsoever. Sometimes you just have to do what gets you through, and worry about the consequences later. Maybe the baby uses a dummy for a few months or a year or whatever, but that gives you a bit of respite and a bit more sleep, and by that time the baby is bigger and more mature, and you might be ready to cope with the challenge of weaning. Good luck!

mrsrfwii · June 2015

We used pacifiers for our first two and are planning to with this one. I think every child is different, so there is no way to know how difficult it might be for one to give them up. The longer they use them the harder it will be for them to give it up. Mine hung on to theirs for along time. My oldest would literally go to sleep with one in her mouth and holding two more of she could. I would not change what we did though, it was what was right for us at the time. And I can take a pacifier away, I can't take a thumb away if they were a thumb sucker. I'd rather them use a pacifier than their thumb for that reason.

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