Would you be mad? Because I am.

mccall010105 · January 2009

Okay, so my college roommate and I had our little boys exactly one day apart. My Ds's birthday is Feb. 7, which happens to be a Saturday. That is when I am having his party. My friend knew this at least a month ago because I told her. She was going to have her son's party the weekend before. Fine.?

The other day I call her to see if that's still the plan and she tells me that she's having her son's party the 7th, too, and that the invites are already printed.

I am shocked and very hurt. I realize that they are one and they won't know it's even their birthday, but it's the principle of it all. Then she has the nerve to say to me, "Don't feel like you have to change your party on account of us...unless of course you want to." Yeah, like I want to cancel my son's party on his actual birthday and come to your house for your son's party instead. Why couldn't she have just had it the next day or even the week before????

Am I overreacting??

Erin Mary Ackerman · January 2009

Really? Are you really mad about this? You are overreacting and it's not pretty.

ABMcKinney · January 2009

If the two of you are really, really close and have a lot of mutual friends/family that will be invited to both I would be upset with her. If only a few people that you both know will be invited to both parties I wouldn't worry about it.

CoastieWife08 · January 2009

BrahimBride:

Really? Are you really mad about this? You are overreacting and it's not pretty.

this.

Temp200154562509288 · January 2009

Is it at the same time as yours? Are some of the same people invited to both? If not I would be annoyed but there's not much you can do about it, she can throw her son's party whenever she wants

hippotree · January 2009

I think you're over-reacting. Try to remember that her son's 1st b-day party is just as important to her as yours is to you. Just have your separate parties. No big deal.

mccall010105 · January 2009

Okay, thanks for being honest. I thought I may be, but I just needed some outside perspective.?

?

mccall010105 · January 2009

I did fail to mention, though, that about 5 of the same people will be invited to both, and they are only an hour apart in start time and an hour drive...

?

And yes, newlywed, we are very close (we talk at least weekly).?

Tess12 · January 2009

Yes, I think you're overreacting. Did you ask her why she changed it? She might have a good reason. And even if it was arbitrary, it's not a big deal. Parties are supposed to be fun. Just relax and enjoy the people who show up.

Mrs.Hagen2 · January 2009

I would be a little peeved, but if you are good friends why don't you just combine the parties? Or, I guess you can change your date, your DS is not going to remember what day it was on. Its a hard situation because they are only a day apart, you can't really get mad.

boymommy · January 2009

What's your friends point of view? ?Look at the bigger picture, you guys are friends and your children will probably grow up together. ?Can you move your son's party to Sunday?

?

Toni1019 · January 2009

I would initially be mad and annoyed. But in the big picture, its like, why should she have to do it a week EARLY and Saturdays are much better for parties.

My sisters 2 kids and my husbands best friends 2 kids birthdays are all the same week as my oldest son and now I am due again that same week. We are always trying to find that 1 day to have it around all the parties. It does suck.

livinitup · January 2009

Yup. She can have her party whenever she wishes. She doesn't have to coordinate it with you. If Saturday the 7th works better for her, for any reason, then she can plan a party. Its a shame you'll miss each other's becuase of it. But you should be gracious, not angry. She's done nothing wrong.

tobeMrsSzabo · January 2009

if this were my BEST friend i would be disapointed but not for anyone else. mostly though because she is my DD's godmother and i would want her to be at her party. also i would be a little hurt that was not important to her too. if it was anyone else i wouldn't think it was a big deal. maybe try to have yours a slightly different time so if you do have any guests in common they could stop by both. say if hers is at 1 you could start yours at 3 or 11. if you have already printed your invitations too i would say ce la vi (sp?) and move on

nottie24 · January 2009

Surprised to be in the minority here, but yes -- I would be mad. She knew you were having your party on the 7th. There are mutual friends invited to both parties. I think it was a d*ck move on her part.

oceanlover · January 2009

the only people we invited to my sons 1st birthday was his grandparents, DH's siblings and godparents - no friends! DS is going to be 4 this year and we are finally just now inviting his little friends to play. I guess I dont see the point of having all those little kids at a 1st birthday party. JMO.

CFO · January 2009

You know, call it petty. But I would be hurt and annoyed too. Sounds like you had made it clear your intentions and she jumped ahead of you. So yea, I would be upset. But I would get over it pretty quickly unless she was a repeat offender...

stacey811 · January 2009

I would be mad too. It seems if she knew about your day you had planned for a month, then why would she want to plan it on the same day. It makes no sense, she knew by doing this some people would have to choose between the both of you.

mccall010105 · January 2009

Thank you, Stacey. This is my point.?

Not to mention the fact that she's a one-upper in all areas of life. Grrrrr.?

vanillacourage · January 2009

hippotree:
I think you're over-reacting. Try to remember that her son's 1st b-day party is just as important to her as yours is to you. Just have your separate parties. No big deal.

Ditto this.

KGsky · January 2009

Mrs.Hagen2:
I would be a little peeved, but if you are good friends why don't you just combine the parties? Or, I guess you can change your date, your DS is not going to remember what day it was on. Its a hard situation because they are only a day apart, you can't really get mad.

I actually think this is a good idea. I've been sharing my bday with my best friend since we were 12. It's great. And I imagine equally great for kids who won't even know it's their birthday.

Now, I'll be the voice of dissent: I don't think you're overreacting. I'm imagining the scenario is that you two are pretty close, you were trying to coordinate these things not to conflict, then she changes it without saying anything and assumes that you might want to accommodate her when she finally does tell you. Not to mention she's indicating that she clearly doesn't care about coming to your son's party. Now, in the grand scheme of things, is this worth a friendship, or even an argument? No. But I see why you'd be mad. Combining the parties could be a lot of fun, though. Think about it.

breezey2323 · January 2009

I would be irritated, especially if you share mutual friend and you're planning a big party. My son's BDAY isn't going to be a big to do. Just family and friends so it would make that much of a difference to me.

This reminds me of that new Kate Hudson movie, BRIDE WARS (? I think that's what its called). Only with babies 1st birthday.

mccall010105 · January 2009

LOL Breezey! That's exactly what my mom said when I told her!

Sherriberry · January 2009

I'd be mad. If you already told her the date she should have planned hers for the sunday or the week earlier. As a new mother herself she should understand how important baby's first birthday is. Sounds like she is trying to beat you with getting the invites out first so people go to her party instead of yours. If I were you, I absolutely would not give up your party date, especially since it's his real birthday.

Hurry and get your invites out!

Temp174496125006552 · January 2009

stacey811:
I would be mad too. It seems if she knew about your day you had planned for a month, then why would she want to plan it on the same day. It makes no sense, she knew by doing this some people would have to choose between the both of you.

I agree with this. A real friend wouldn't do this, IMO.

Beth.05 · January 2009

It may be overreacting, but I would certainly be mad. Especially if it were my best friend, and we would be inviting the same people.

I am sorry you are in this position. Have your party as you planned and try not to stress out about it.

Also, if I were one of the guests invited to both parties and I was good friends with both of you, I would certainly try very hard to come to both.

happilyhis · January 2009

I would be very irritated. Get your invites out ASAP.

eowynmn · January 2009

I would be upset since you previously told her your plan and it sounds like she knew it. It's the principal of the thing.

MommaBrown · January 2009

i'd be irritated because you two had previously talked about it.

Would you consider a group party? Just invite the rest of your guests to her place and offer to pay for half of everything and help clean up.

In the future, just keep your plans to yourself. Because honestly this sounds like some passive aggressive BS to me. You two are going to end up butting heads every year over this since their b-days are so close.

jndbfam · January 2009

I understand your frustration because she had already told you that she was going to have her son's party the week before. If she wanted to have it on the 7th, she should just said so! It's almost like she went behind your back. I'm not trying to add fuel to the fire, I just think it kind of looks like that. Was she apologetic at all, like she forgot that your party was planned for the 7th?

I don't think you're overreacting. Calling the bakery and cancelling her birthday cake order would be overreacting. But she's not going to make or break your son's birthday party! So relax and just enjoy it.

babynorthrip · January 2009

I'd be upset, especially since you told her beforehand, and also if you have a lot of mutual guests.

KGsky · January 2009

So funny, when I posted, everyone was saying she overreacted. In the time it took me to write my "voice of dissent" everybody said they'd be mad too. Now my post looks a little crazy LOL! Glad I'm not the only one who can see the friend's dastardliness!

lvisser · January 2009

BrahimBride:

Really? Are you really mad about this? You are overreacting and it's not pretty.

Yeah... ditto.

lvisser · January 2009

mccall010105:

I did fail to mention, though, that about 5 of the same people will be invited to both, and they are only an hour apart in start time and an hour drive...

And yes, newlywed, we are very close (we talk at least weekly).

Five is not that big of a deal. Just plan your party a few hours later or before. Bingo. Done.

And very close, but only talk once a week? Yeah...

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