Baby Shower RSVPs — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

Baby Shower RSVPs

I have two baby showers being thrown for me. One is close to mine and my parents' home and about 50 people were invited. The second is close to my fiancé's family's home which is 2 hours away from our place and about 40 people were invited to that one. Between the two parties, I've only recieved about 20 responses (not just to attend, that's total responses both yes and no). The first shower is this Sunday and the second one is the following Saturday, so I doubt more people will respond. I'm getting nervous about A) how many people to plan for with food and drinks, and B) the fact that we were really heavily relying on cashing in on a lot of gifts from the shower because we've been struggling so much with our finances (due to both of our stupid cars almost dying on us at basically the exact same time and costing each of us thousands of dollars, which is everything we had saved for baby...perfect effing timing).
What in the world do I do? I've posted on Facebook twice now with a friendly reminder to RSVP so we can plan the food accordingly, but I'm not getting anymore responses. I've checked our registries to see if anything is being purchased and maybe people just suck at replying, but nothing has been taken off of either one.
I don't know what to do if we don't even get cash or gift cards because we are dead broke and have NOTHING for this baby right now. Not even a crib or anything. I feel like I'm going to lose it. I can't stand the thought of not being able to provide even just the essentials for our child, but I think I have to face the fact that that might just be the case. What do I do?!
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Re: Baby Shower RSVPs

  • jonekajoneka member
    edited June 2015
    I am in the same boat as far as RSVP's and guest list....what makes me mad is people were ASKING for invites and now failing to RSVP...My first shower is this weekend @45 guest invited...and my second shower is on the 20th with @30 guest invited..then I had one guest ask to bring 3 additional people....wth? I am going by the RSVP list for food and drinks..with a little overage for just in case. I am sorry but I cant make you feel better, it really was poor planning to rely on anyone for your baby's needs...most people just frilly clothes and smaller items anyway, not essentials. 

    Me personally I would go to my church or any church with an outreach program....maybe they can help you with essentials to help you get started...
    1) a baby can sleep in a pack-n-play while they are tiny, a crib isn't necessary if you cannot get one
    2) a car seat
    3 )bottles/nipples
    4) diapers/wipes
    5) breast pump/formula..I would go to your local governmental agency such as W.I.C for formula..if you have insurance see if you can get a breast pump through insurance

     In Texas, some government agencies have vouchers or work with resaleshops/thift stores ....reach out and see what kind of help you can get. It is getting late in the game and if I were you, I would get a move on...paperwork can take time.Good Luck to you..I will be praying that everything works out...
    neludelupabeybabyginger8484
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  • No one rsvps anymore. They won't understand the importance of it unless they themselves throw a party! It's so aggravating!

    You will need to personally contact these people and ask.
    kedbachgokahne9
  • My shower is this Saturday and we have had RSVP's coming in this week. I had to ask some friends that I see often as they just forgot about it. If you're really worried, just ask people like pp have said.

    My registry was also pretty much untouched until this past weekend, wouldn't worry about that too much. Some of my coworkers yesterday were saying they haven't even looked at the registry yet, I suggest making sure you have mostly things available in the store as opposed to just online as people do wait til the last minute.

    You can find some really great deals at rummage/garage sales. I got 10 sleepers and sleep sacks in varying sizes and great condition for only 50 cents each a couple weeks ago. They also had swings, pack n plays, strollers, etc for $10-40 which is a significant reduction in price.
    tarheelgirl8
  • mrsb30mrsb30 member
    edited June 2015
    I'm also wondering why you are tracking down RSVPs and paying for food. As pp mentioned people are bad about RSVPs. For our wedding we had such a problem with it and figuring our how many people were going.

    I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I can understand as my husband has been sick and out of work for almost two months.

    PP had some great suggestions about getting baby things. They really don't need much. Also check out yard sales, in person or fb yard sales. My town has a Facebook online yard sale. I got a huge bag of nice, clean, look new baby clothes for $15 from an online sale. Just stick to the basics.
    Miz_Lizshmarpler
  • Not delving into anything regarding this post, aside from the lack of RSVP's itself, I hate to break it to you, people don't RSVP anymore. We went through it at our wedding, went through it at the baby shower I gave my sister-in-law, and my mom and sister-in-law are going through it with my shower this weekend. People simply do not respond anymore. You will have people show up who did not RSVP and you'll have people not show who actually did say they were coming. It happens. To plan for snacks, drinks, favors, etc, you just have to plan for the most, just in case. It's out of your hands and I would leave it up to whomever is hosting to contact others.
  • Baby showers are like a tax return...They're a bonus & shouldn't be relied on.

    Having said that, it's summer time. People are traveling like crazy so they may not make it & that's okay. Just roll worth it.
    kedbachmlt13seifertfish
  • edited June 2015

    I do understand the frustration of nobody RSVPing...we made it as simple as sending a text to my mother, and still with only 4 days left we have only received a handful. I do not however agree with you solely relying on your shower as a means to provide for your child. Help out, sure. Lets all be honest, that's why registries are even a thing...so people can help out a little bit. But with that being said, you should always take into consideration that people are not obligated to buy you anything at all. You are the parents, and you should have been planning things out for a while now. If you are worried about a baby shower to help provide for your child, i think you may have a bigger issue at large here. A crib is one of the last things you should worry about because the baby doesn't need one for months anyway, so that right there can be saved for over time.  I am a realist, and I know not everyone is in a 100% comfortable financial position to be raising a baby, but It just seems a little odd to cry out for help with just weeks left until baby is here about "essentials" you need for him/her. Essentials to me are things that parents should be able to always provide. Babies don't need as much as these big huge retailers make it out that you need. They need bottles and/or formula if you aren't stricktly breastfeeding, a few onesies/pjs (you can always get more as the baby grows) A bassinet or cradle, diapers, a car seat, most importantly, unconditional love and affection.Think about way back in the day, what little they had bringing babies into the world and everyone turned out just fine. Everything else is extra.

    Always hold on to hope ❤
    acgonzalez22kedbachMiz_Lizanderl6
  • Sorry about the position you're in. Instead of wondering why people haven't responded, maybe you and your family can divide the list of people who haven't RSVP'd yet and follow up with them. A lot of people forget or wait until the last minute, so you may have to be the one that reaches out. Going that extra mile will add a nice personal touch, too! However, if the showers are being thrown FOR you, then I don't think you should be the one stressing about the details. That should be up to the hosts! About the essentials, see how you do at the showers, and then maybe prioritize what you really need for the first few months and focus on that. There are so many "must-haves" that aren't really must haves. Don't compare yourself to everyone else and don't get down on yourself if you can't afford the latest and greatest. Just do what you can to show the most love to your LO.
    kedbach
  • I am having rhe same issue with RSVP's we are having it catered and I have to give the numbers in a week, so I'm just goingbtondonthe min. Amount and if there isn't enough food o well starve you should habe RSVP'D.


    mommyofX
  • I personally find myself frustrated with how little RSVP's I've gotten, but I've only sent my invitations out about a week and a half ago, and my shower isn't until 7/18. I got the LO pretty much all the necessities (car seat, stroller, bassinet, clothes, diapers, breast pump) already, so my registry is built up with all of the 15-40$ extras like an activity mat, swing/bouncer, sleeping bag, etc. I think it's important to have everything the baby will absolutely need, and then you can rely on your guests to provide you with the extras that will make your life with the LO more comfortable. I personally attend a program in my county called CareNet, which is a free service funded by local churches (I'm Jewish but help is always great). The program provides me with weekly meetings, which my husband attends as well, and we watch videos and talk to a counselor about preparing for our child. Every hour we attend gets me $20 and an extra $10 for my husband in Baby Bucks (it's like their own monopoly money). The baby bucks can be used to purchase new & used REAL baby items, in their baby boutique. The prices are way different than a regular store (pack of diapers is 3 baby bucks), and they only accept the fake money. I'm sure there are programs like this all over, and although i haven't spent any of my baby bucks I've accumulated over the past 7 months, it's very comforting knowing that if we're ever in any type of financial jam, I have all of this fake money that can buy my LO things he will NEED. Don't stress, and if you need help, don't be afraid to find it!
    jaquex3kedbachdnu1210
  • I can't really believe you'd ever admit you're having a shower to get gifts. That really isn't what it's about. But all that aside, there are so many garage sales going on every weekend, resale stores, Craigslist, and I recommend an app called OfferUp. Plus if you have invited 90 people to your shower, who I am assuming are all close friends and family, because that's who should be invited, surely you know some other mamas that could lend you things or give you hand me down clothes. Honestly my newborn and 0-3 months clothes are pristine still for my next baby because I took good care of them so take what you can get from people.
    Saratiff
  • The shower hosts need to be following up with individuals about RSVPs. You can't rely that everyone received the invitation.

    I just missed out on a bridal shower for one of my best friends because the host only sent an Evite and it went into my junk mail because they used an email address I don't normally use for Evites. So I never knew about the party until the day before, and by then I had another commitment. And I wasn't the only one! Fail on the host for not following up on RSVPs.
    hclzmm14
  • Is the concept of not RSVP'ing cultural or regional? This was not an issue for my shower at all, nor do I remember it being an issue at my wedding. All but 2 of our 40 shower invitees had RSVP'd (either way) within a week of receiving the invite. The friend hosing my shower sent an electronic invite via paperless post, so maybe people are just better about replying to those?

    That said, I agree 1000% with everything everyone has said about your attitude towards having others gift you the essentials you need for your baby. It's your responsibility to buy those things. Anything you get at a shower is a lovely added bonus.
    neludelumommyofX
  • and no offence, but besides gathering all of your loved ones to celebrate the upcoming arrival of the LO, it's about SHOWERING the mother & baby with gifts, so yeah....it kind of is all about the gifts, so nobody needs to hate because she's admitting that she needs the help.
    dnu1210mommyofXMouseMama817reyes01
  • dnu1210dnu1210 member
    edited June 2015
    I must have written my original post wrong or too vague or something because all I seem to be getting is backlash. I never intended to throw a shower to just get gifts. I know that's not what it's about and it's not what I want it to be about. I never intended to not have enough money to provide for our baby. We had been saving up for over a year and had over a thousand dollars that was going to be used just for the baby but last month both of our cars needed repairs and we had to exhaust everything we had saved so we could continue to go to work so that we would be able to provide essentials like diapers and formula for our baby. I can't go on any kind of assistance program because we make too much money on paper, but we don't have enough cash flow to buy everything all at once now. I would hardly say it was poor planning on our part that our vehicles decided to crap out on us and we got pinched for cash. So now I'm hoping beyond hope that I can get some help from my friends and family at the shower in the form of gifts so that I can reevaluate what we will truly need, or could take back to the store and exchange for something more essential or whatever we may need to do.
    And I'm not paying for anything with these showers, I'm not getting the invites directly to me, I'm not throwing these showers for myself. The two hosts have just been keeping me in the loop because of the lack of responses they've seen and asked if I could maybe get a verbal reply from some of the invited guests. I'm just expressing concern for them over the whole planning for food thing, because I know that's what they're trying to figure out.
    It really pains me to see how many of you jumped at me in what felt like an attack. As if I'm not already feeling bad enough that we had to spend everything we had saved up for our little guy. I know we won't be able to buy everything brand new and brand name, and I never once thought that would be a problem. Most everything in my possession is something cheap and used I found off craigslist because I have never needed name brand or brand new. But there are things that have to be new like a car seat and that is a bigger ticket item that I'm concerned about being able to afford.
    This is all crashing down on me at what feels like the last minute. I only have two months before he's born and I had planned on having most everything we absolutely needed purchased by now, but it was beyond our control. I'm sorry if you guys didn't understand my original post, but please, don't make me feel worse.
    For the few of you giving helpful advice and encouraging words, thank you.
    ssmith2006laineyjewelJulia0929
  • I just don't understand why you're flpwing up on RSVP's.... I actually got a little annoyed when people RSVP'd to me for my shower, because the proper number to call is right there on the invitation... Why are you calling me? I'm not throwing the shower.
  • Sorry to hear that you are going through this, i would have your hosts reach out to directly to those who haven't RSVPd and see what their status is. People are just bad at RSVPing no matter how many times you remind them. Also i wouldnt rely on people getting things off of your registry or giving you cash. A shower is one of those things that most people get gifts for  and unfortunately many people don't buy off of the registry either. 


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • It is true that people don't RSVP anymore unfortunately. I had this same issue when I threw my sister a bridal shower last year and I understand my sisters are having the same trouble with this shower. They have heard from about half of the ladies we invited.

    I would definitely start looking at alternatives for finding cheap necessities for little man. I haven't had my shower yet and I try not to stalk my registry so I will still be surprised, but my understanding is often people don't buy off of registries much for baby showers. They would rather pick out cute toys and clothes. This is of course totally fine, and any that you don't need can always be returned for store credit. That being said, you may find that people don't buy the "big ticket" items, nor should they be expected to.

    I'm sorry that you are in this rough financial position. We also had some car problems that have put a dip in our baby budget. Unfortunately, however, these things happen.
    dnu1210
  • I'm just going to quote myself here again because of the last two posts.

    "So now I'm hoping beyond hope that I can get some help from my friends and family at the shower in the form of gifts so that I can reevaluate what we will truly need, or could take back to the store and exchange for something more essential or whatever we may need to do."

    Help. That's all I'm hoping for. I said in my original post that I was relying on gifts, sure. I said that. Because I'm hoping it'll really help us out of this bind. These showers were planned and registries were set back before we had lost our savings so it's not like I am having these soley to get things. I have never been a gift grabber. In fact my mom had to go with me to the stores after looking at my registries to convince me to put more on there because I felt guilty putting things on that I thought were frivolous and unnecessary. I don't like the fact that I'm now in a situation that has me relying on figuring out what we get from people, looking at what we still need and making decisions about what is more important to get and whether to return the gifts we got to pay for some larger things we can't afford. I wanted a shower where people could just come celebrate with me and if they bought off registry, great, no problem! I have creative friends and family and I can't wait to see what they come up with. If they can't afford anything, I will understand and not be upset. I don't consider it their responsibility to provide. I never have. But we're having these showers and I have registered for gifts which people do generally buy, and I'm in a bind. So I've go to have a little different mentality going into this than I thought I would. I never once said I was soley relying on other people to buy all of the essentials like diapers and all that little stuff. We will probably be ok to afford those smaller things without having any more of our savings left, but it'll be tough for a while, I know that.

    I'm not asking for a pity party and for everyone to say how sorry they are. I was asking for some help. A little advice. I wasn't asking to have all this judgement thrown at me, and I thought this could be a good outlet to get some advice from mothers or mothers-to-be who have either been through a similar struggle or have some advice on what to do.
  • dnu1210 said:

    I'm just going to quote myself here again because of the last two posts.

    "So now I'm hoping beyond hope that I can get some help from my friends and family at the shower in the form of gifts so that I can reevaluate what we will truly need, or could take back to the store and exchange for something more essential or whatever we may need to do."

    Help. That's all I'm hoping for. I said in my original post that I was relying on gifts, sure. I said that. Because I'm hoping it'll really help us out of this bind. These showers were planned and registries were set back before we had lost our savings so it's not like I am having these soley to get things. I have never been a gift grabber. In fact my mom had to go with me to the stores after looking at my registries to convince me to put more on there because I felt guilty putting things on that I thought were frivolous and unnecessary. I don't like the fact that I'm now in a situation that has me relying on figuring out what we get from people, looking at what we still need and making decisions about what is more important to get and whether to return the gifts we got to pay for some larger things we can't afford. I wanted a shower where people could just come celebrate with me and if they bought off registry, great, no problem! I have creative friends and family and I can't wait to see what they come up with. If they can't afford anything, I will understand and not be upset. I don't consider it their responsibility to provide. I never have. But we're having these showers and I have registered for gifts which people do generally buy, and I'm in a bind. So I've go to have a little different mentality going into this than I thought I would. I never once said I was soley relying on other people to buy all of the essentials like diapers and all that little stuff. We will probably be ok to afford those smaller things without having any more of our savings left, but it'll be tough for a while, I know that.

    I'm not asking for a pity party and for everyone to say how sorry they are. I was asking for some help. A little advice. I wasn't asking to have all this judgement thrown at me, and I thought this could be a good outlet to get some advice from mothers or mothers-to-be who have either been through a similar struggle or have some advice on what to do.

    I understand your situation with being cash poor because this was my husband and I just a few years ago. One thing you can also consider is taking a loan out of your 401k (you or SO). This can be better for you than using a credit card for several reasons: 1. The interest rate to pay it back is usually much less than a CC, 2. You pay it back directly from your paycheck so no skipping payments. The downside is that if you already have a loan taken out, you can't take another. So say you take out a grand for baby things you didn't receive, and your car breaks down again, you won't have the 401k option.

    Anyway it's something to look into if you need some extra money to get what you don't have. My husband and I have done it in the past and it's worked well for us.

    And I would also say since you have clarified, it isn't your job to track people down for a shower. The hosts know when they take it on it may fall on them to find out who is coming.

    Good luck.
  • You know what you do? You go to goodwill, consignment shops, yard sales. Sometimes on Facebook they have groups where you can sell and buy used stuff. I'm not the richest person in the world either but regardless of what I get or what I don't get it is my job to provide for my child. I don't expect people to buy things for my baby. I go and I get used things. My crib is used. My changing table used. My high chair used. The dressers for my baby were my husbands parents when they got married. You make do with what you have. If you have to get rid of things like TV or cut back on groceries you do it. Your a mom and a momma takes care of what's hers. As far as rsvp goes no one does it anymore. It sucks but it's a part of throwing a party.
    hjphillips
  • All I want is some advice. I'm not trying to change my tune, just explain that that I never wanted to rely on this shower to finance our baby. I would whole heartedly agree that it would be tacky if that was my intention from the beginning. Circumstances have changed how I have to look that things. I don't want to be agreed with, I just want some advice.
  • I think that this is why the guest of honour (in this case op) used to be left out of all details about the shower, including who had rsvped.

    Destress, have a little faith and know that everything will turn out for the best.

    As my mom always said babies dont come with big expecations for anything but love. They dont know if they have alot of.stuff or a little.
    kedbach
  • Not going to comment on the nature of the post and the reasons surrounding why you are depending on the shower - as previous posters have already articulated how I feel as well - just wanted to add:

    This is prime time for garage sales - keep your eyes open for all the yard sale signs and get out to them.....guaranteed you will find a lot of hand me down/gently used items that will cost you a fraction of what you would pay new - especially for the big items that you are unluckily to get at a shower. I know my community and surrounding larger cities have Mommy Market FB groups as well - get on there and start watching the posts - typically people post with decent descriptions and good pictures of the items. The PP has also mentioned some other ways to cut back and save. 

    Rather than depending on the shower for help, and having an expectation of what you will get out of it - I would spend your time searching these methods in order to get the essentials. 

    As far as the RSVP issues go - I will agree people tend not to RSVP as promptly if at all anymore - however, your hosts should be more than capable of spending an evening calling up the people that have not responded - its part of being the host and party planning in general. Comes with the territory. 

  • JNOVA2015JNOVA2015 member
    edited June 2015

    dnu1210 said:

    I'm just going to quote myself here again because of the last two posts.

    "So now I'm hoping beyond hope that I can get some help from my friends and family at the shower in the form of gifts so that I can reevaluate what we will truly need, or could take back to the store and exchange for something more essential or whatever we may need to do."

    Help. That's all I'm hoping for. I said in my original post that I was relying on gifts, sure. I said that. Because I'm hoping it'll really help us out of this bind. These showers were planned and registries were set back before we had lost our savings so it's not like I am having these soley to get things. I have never been a gift grabber. In fact my mom had to go with me to the stores after looking at my registries to convince me to put more on there because I felt guilty putting things on that I thought were frivolous and unnecessary. I don't like the fact that I'm now in a situation that has me relying on figuring out what we get from people, looking at what we still need and making decisions about what is more important to get and whether to return the gifts we got to pay for some larger things we can't afford. I wanted a shower where people could just come celebrate with me and if they bought off registry, great, no problem! I have creative friends and family and I can't wait to see what they come up with. If they can't afford anything, I will understand and not be upset. I don't consider it their responsibility to provide. I never have. But we're having these showers and I have registered for gifts which people do generally buy, and I'm in a bind. So I've go to have a little different mentality going into this than I thought I would. I never once said I was soley relying on other people to buy all of the essentials like diapers and all that little stuff. We will probably be ok to afford those smaller things without having any more of our savings left, but it'll be tough for a while, I know that.

    I'm not asking for a pity party and for everyone to say how sorry they are. I was asking for some help. A little advice. I wasn't asking to have all this judgement thrown at me, and I thought this could be a good outlet to get some advice from mothers or mothers-to-be who have either been through a similar struggle or have some advice on what to do.

    I understand your situation with being cash poor because this was my husband and I just a few years ago. One thing you can also consider is taking a loan out of your 401k (you or SO). This can be better for you than using a credit card for several reasons: 1. The interest rate to pay it back is usually much less than a CC, 2. You pay it back directly from your paycheck so no skipping payments. The downside is that if you already have a loan taken out, you can't take another. So say you take out a grand for baby things you didn't receive, and your car breaks down again, you won't have the 401k option.

    Anyway it's something to look into if you need some extra money to get what you don't have. My husband and I have done it in the past and it's worked well for us.

    And I would also say since you have clarified, it isn't your job to track people down for a shower. The hosts know when they take it on it may fall on them to find out who is coming.

    Good luck.
    I would never in a million years do a 401k loan to pay for baby stuff. In my mind, the only thing you should even THINK about borrowing from a 401k for is a down payment, and even there it's better not to. This is both because the baby stuff is relatively minor and because if you were to get laid off and have to pay it back immediately, you're in a really though spot. Right when you're about to go on mat leave is not the time to risk it.

    OP, it does feel like you're changing your tune now that you didn't get the replies you want. Either way, the situation you described is exactly why you should have a 6 month emergency fund. That's what those funds are for - you could have paid for the cars without compromising your baby fund, then had a little more time to build the emergency fund back up to 6 months. I know there's nothing you can do about it now, but it would be a good idea for the future (and is just good financial planning in general!!).
    CaliforniaDream87raelynch87
  • dnu1210 said:

    All I want is some advice. I'm not trying to change my tune, just explain that that I never wanted to rely on this shower to finance our baby. I would whole heartedly agree that it would be tacky if that was my intention from the beginning. Circumstances have changed how I have to look that things. I don't want to be agreed with, I just want some advice.

    My advice start setting money aside every paycheck, start collecting coupons. Cut down where you can on expenses, cable, Internet, where ever you can. Start looking at tag sales, talk to friends, local churches. Look for things second hand which you can get at a fraction of the cost. Leave the baby shower to the hostess.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    GirlOnTheBeachBafrykedbach
  • I am having rhe same issue with RSVP's we are having it catered and I have to give the numbers in a week, so I'm just goingbtondonthe min. Amount and if there isn't enough food o well starve you should habe RSVP'D.

    How nice of them to show up to shower YOUR CHILD and all you have to say is oh well starve??? You always go on the maximum because of this and for their generosity the LEAST you can do is have enough small snacks and drinks to provide for them while they celebrate with you. You know while we are at it forget the thank you cards too...SELFISH IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY....I dont care who says what back im so irritated about the poster saying we really need to cash in on gifts and now you dont care about people coming to generously give to your child.
    SaratiffBafry
  • dnu1210 said:

    All I want is some advice. I'm not trying to change my tune, just explain that that I never wanted to rely on this shower to finance our baby. I would whole heartedly agree that it would be tacky if that was my intention from the beginning. Circumstances have changed how I have to look that things. I don't want to be agreed with, I just want some advice.

    Like i said good will, consignment shops, yard sales. Buy used! If anyone knows what it's like to not have money I know. Trust me. My husbands car messed up. We now have one car. Black mold invaded my house. Had to fix that. But you go about and make do with what you have. You do what you have to do.
    Saratiff
  • dnu1210 said:

    I must have written my original post wrong or too vague or something because all I seem to be getting is backlash. I never intended to throw a shower to just get gifts. I know that's not what it's about and it's not what I want it to be about. I never intended to not have enough money to provide for our baby. We had been saving up for over a year and had over a thousand dollars that was going to be used just for the baby but last month both of our cars needed repairs and we had to exhaust everything we had saved so we could continue to go to work so that we would be able to provide essentials like diapers and formula for our baby. I can't go on any kind of assistance program because we make too much money on paper, but we don't have enough cash flow to buy everything all at once now. I would hardly say it was poor planning on our part that our vehicles decided to crap out on us and we got pinched for cash. So now I'm hoping beyond hope that I can get some help from my friends and family at the shower in the form of gifts so that I can reevaluate what we will truly need, or could take back to the store and exchange for something more essential or whatever we may need to do.
    And I'm not paying for anything with these showers, I'm not getting the invites directly to me, I'm not throwing these showers for myself. The two hosts have just been keeping me in the loop because of the lack of responses they've seen and asked if I could maybe get a verbal reply from some of the invited guests. I'm just expressing concern for them over the whole planning for food thing, because I know that's what they're trying to figure out.
    It really pains me to see how many of you jumped at me in what felt like an attack. As if I'm not already feeling bad enough that we had to spend everything we had saved up for our little guy. I know we won't be able to buy everything brand new and brand name, and I never once thought that would be a problem. Most everything in my possession is something cheap and used I found off craigslist because I have never needed name brand or brand new. But there are things that have to be new like a car seat and that is a bigger ticket item that I'm concerned about being able to afford.
    This is all crashing down on me at what feels like the last minute. I only have two months before he's born and I had planned on having most everything we absolutely needed purchased by now, but it was beyond our control. I'm sorry if you guys didn't understand my original post, but please, don't make me feel worse.
    For the few of you giving helpful advice and encouraging words, thank you.

    Harsh reality hit here...have you gotten rid of your phone bill yet, do you still have cable, internet?? If you have any of these things cut them out...money for a car seat will suddenly be available in 1 month from cutting certains things that most see as necessities for themselves. Cancel your phone and get a prepaid....if you really were that tight you would part way with these things to be able to provide....just saying.
    Robin910Bafry
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