February 2016 Moms

Not sure what to tell friend...

I am 4 weeks pregnant. My friend told me I don't do much with her anymore and she misses me. She also told me she wants to be involved in my pregnancy...
I work full time and I'm exhausted. Me and my bf aren't even doing much of anything except running our normal errands and I am napping a lot. I am only around him and the cat because I'm tired all the time, plus I'm having issues with my diabetes. I'm moving out of my apartment into bf's apartment and doing blood work about twice a week for my docs. We make food and watch Netflix with the cat. That's our evenings.
She's a good friend but I have no idea what to tell her.

Re: Not sure what to tell friend...

  • I'm sorry, this is kind of just how things go. It's not going to get any easier once the LO is here. In the last 1.5 years, we've learned who our true friends really are. 

    Is there any way you can spend some time with her on weekends? That's the only time we ever see friends anymore.

    KBJ-SEJ married 8.18.2012
    BMJ born 5.27.2014
    MMC 7.2.2015 @ 5w5d
    SMEJ born 6.5.2016
    BFP 6.8.2018 EDD 02.18.2019


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  • I would just be honest with her, set up a date on a weekend and give her some time, but if she's the type of friend that won't understand your needs right now, be careful- she might have a harder time in the future as your needs change 

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  • She has a kiddo and our kiddos are friends but she works the opposite shift I do. She's a really good friend and she told me she wishes she was pregnant, so maybe that's why? I'm gonna set up a date so we can go do some shopping or maybe go to a movie.
  • Maybe you can ask her for help unpacking stuff from your previous pregnancy, like clothes and crap? Or shopping if you need a new car seat?

    A few months ago my friends and I set up a standing date that we get together, every other 3rd Saturday of the month (so we see each other every other month). Maybe set something up like that?
    -Kimberly :) 
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  • Even though you and your bf aren't really doing much at night---what about inviting her over to just sit around with you. You can let her know you don't want to stay up late because your tired. But maybe she just wants to be included. Ask her to bring desert and her LO. You might start feeling better in a few weeks and have more energy once you hit the second tri. If she's been pregnant before she probably can remember that too.
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  • I personally don't think you owe your friend anything. Sure, you should keep in contact, make an effort to stay friendly, talk to her about life and see her when you want to... But at the same time, it sounds like your life is busy and when you have free time you want to relax with SO and nap and feel healthy! That's valid! You get more energy in second tri, so it's not like you'll never hang out with her again.

    PS: I could be reading more into this than there really is because I have a VERY pushy, entitled friend who I've been trying to distance myself from. So my view is colored.

    Good luck!
    Married: 8.5.12
    Bunny: 10.9.13
    Jellybean #2 Due: 2.1.16

    F16 July Siggy Challenge: Favorite Summer Activity
    Hiking and Baseball Games with the Fam
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