How Rude!

cgummie · June 2015

Just sharing the most offensive things I've heard this week. First time I've really encountered anyone super rude and wondering if anyone else has heard these gems?

-My mom bet money that I wouldn't make it til my maternity leave date because I'll be too lazy.
-A coworker asked if I'd consider leaving for mat leave early, because I'm so irritable and mean.
-A customer asked if I'm pregnant, and when I answered yes, she said "thank god, I was thinking you were just eating too much junk food."
-A stranger asked when my baby is due. When I said October, she told me I look like I'll be ready to go next week! (I've gained a whole 7 lbs in 22w)

mkross123 · June 2015

I got "Are you sure you are due in October?" followed by "Are you sure it's just one baby?" from the same damn lady at work in one thirty second period of time. I am literally still a pound under my pre-pregnancy weight, but it doesn't matter, that stuff makes you self conscious. UGH! PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Krysta6 · June 2015

I was asked if its just one?! Umm yeah luckily DH responded before I could tell them they are rude!

amberrmariee20 · June 2015

I got told I look like I'm ready to have the baby too. I went from having no belly to having a big bump. With my last pregnancy I got asked when the twins were due. Apparently we are all supposed to look the same pregnant and gain the same amount of weight and all have the same belly at the same amount of weeks, or we are "too big" or "too small".

anorthro · June 2015

My friend saw me for the first time in a few weeks and said "aw, you look so adorable! And your face is getting nice and fat too!" She meant it as a complement (she actually wants a fuller face) but it sucked.

CaitLewis15 · June 2015

My new neighbor is full of little gems:

-She asked if we want more children, and I said definitely yes. Then when she found out we are having 'another' girl, she told me I couldn't stop until we have a boy, because 'every man wants a son.' Lol I'm pretty sure DH cares about the sex of our children even less than I do.

-When she found out that our daughter is DH's stepdaughter, she couldn't hide her shock/disapproval. She said, "Oh my, so that makes you a divorcee? This is your second husband? And here I was just the other day telling my friend what a gorgeous, perfect family had just moved in. But you're DIVORCED!"

I didn't even have a response for that last one :-S

amberrmariee20 · June 2015

CaitLewis15 said:
My new neighbor is full of little gems:

-She asked if we want more children, and I said definitely yes. Then when she found out we are having 'another' girl, she told me I couldn't stop until we have a boy, because 'every man wants a son.' Lol I'm pretty sure DH cares about the sex of our children even less than I do.

-When she found out that our daughter is DH's stepdaughter, she couldn't hide her shock/disapproval. She said, "Oh my, so that makes you a divorcee? This is your second husband? And here I was just the other day telling my friend what a gorgeous, perfect family had just moved in. But you're DIVORCED!"

I didn't even have a response for that last one :-S

Please say you slapped her ? I'm having another boy and I got the whole well now you need to try again to get your girl. But little does everyone know, before we found out this baby was a boy we planned for at least 1-2 more.

And my bf isn't my first sons father. Stuff happens, people need to get over themselves.

It's crazy its 2015 and people are still so judge mental and rude.

DeeGreer · June 2015

A male superior at work told me I look more pregnant in my rear end.. rude not so much but completely inappropriate. I just walked away. Then my boyfriend's mom, who is always so sweet, nervously asked him if I was going to run off and keep the baby away from them. WTF KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?! I dont understand where that even came from...

erinboehme · June 2015

A friend due with her first 5 weeks before me due with my 5th said I must be bigger than her because I don't watch what I eat. I've gained TWO POUNDS! We also have very different body shapes. I have a very short torso, so out is the only way to go.

hammy_711 · June 2015

BrooklynBroussard said:

I was told that it is un-Godly to raise my child refusing to spank them. You know, the whole spare the rod nonsense. Because the bible is not metaphorical at all, right? I hope this isn't offensive to anyone's beliefs.

Well you can inform whomever told you that that this actually isn't the true meaning of the translation. The hebrew for "rod" isn't a stick to hit people with, it's a staff that shepherds used to guide their sheep. Therefore, it really means to guide you children in the right direction, not hit them. I really hate ignorant people who try to use religion to justify bad behavior. I hope that helps when the next fool says something like that to you. They can also go ahead and stone the next person who commits adultery

CaitLewis15 · June 2015

@amberrmariee20 exactly! I always think of Lilo and Stitch when people side-eye my patchwork family, and it makes me laugh to think there could still be hang ups about something like that

amberrmariee20 · June 2015

@CaitLewis15 that's super cute, I'm gonna steal that.

amandagrider · June 2015

I have people saying, " are you sure your pregnant? You don't look it."

Really??!!! You don't see this huge belly poking out from my pants!
I guess I just look fat haha thanks for the compliment.

kayceetomasita · June 2015

I get the are you just fat or are you really pregnant? My response is "I'm pregnant, how far along are you though?" Always shuts
Up a woman even if she is skinny

tate62610 · June 2015

"Omg did you not learn your lesson the first time? Birth control!" --Rando FB "Friend"

First of all, shitiot, I got pregnant the first time while taking bc religiously. Second of all, bye Felicia.

CCasey2015 · June 2015

CaitLewis15 said:
My new neighbor is full of little gems:

-She asked if we want more children, and I said definitely yes. Then when she found out we are having 'another' girl, she told me I couldn't stop until we have a boy, because 'every man wants a son.' Lol I'm pretty sure DH cares about the sex of our children even less than I do.

-When she found out that our daughter is DH's stepdaughter, she couldn't hide her shock/disapproval. She said, "Oh my, so that makes you a divorcee? This is your second husband? And here I was just the other day telling my friend what a gorgeous, perfect family had just moved in. But you're DIVORCED!"

I didn't even have a response for that last one :-S

You have got to be kidding me!!!!! I can't believe she would say something like that. My mouth literally dropped as I was reading!!!!

mishala12 · June 2015

I had a male co worker say that it looks like I'm having twins then gestured to my boobs. My male boss saidi looked tired i responded with "another joy of pregnancy" trying to be pleasant and he replied with "shoulda kept your legs closed then"

Uhhhh wtf. HR enjoyed that visit

danniellemichelle · June 2015

I've had three people comment on my hair growing out

I wore a top knot the other day and the lady at MAC said "are you growing your hair out? My hair looks ashy when it grows out too" the lady in the food court looks at my hair "ohhhh you can't dye your hair huh" and the lady at the bank this morning "not everyone can get away with crazy nappy hair it looks cute on you" --- who thinks this is okay to say ?!?! (My hair was dyed black brown and it growing in with my natural color medium brown)

Birdee212 · June 2015

mishala12 said:
I had a male co worker say that it looks like I'm having twins then gestured to my boobs. My male boss saidi looked tired i responded with "another joy of pregnancy" trying to be pleasant and he replied with "shoulda kept your legs closed then"

Uhhhh wtf. HR enjoyed that visit

Ewwww! I hate that people feel they have a right to comment about a woman's pregnancy because it's a visible medical condition. It's like going up to a burn victim and saying "What the hell happened to you? Don't you know not to play with matches?" Disgusting.

batmom05 · June 2015

Birdee212 said:

mishala12 said:
I had a male co worker say that it looks like I'm having twins then gestured to my boobs. My male boss saidi looked tired i responded with "another joy of pregnancy" trying to be pleasant and he replied with "shoulda kept your legs closed then"

Uhhhh wtf. HR enjoyed that visit
Ewwww! I hate that people feel they have a right to comment about a woman's pregnancy because it's a visible medical condition. It's like going up to a burn victim and saying "What the hell happened to you? Don't you know not to play with matches?" Disgusting.

Right?! I had this discussion with my husband after everyone told me how huge I was at a family party over the weekend. Since when is that ever okay?!

CaitLewis15 · June 2015

CCasey2015 said:

CaitLewis15 said:
My new neighbor is full of little gems:

-She asked if we want more children, and I said definitely yes. Then when she found out we are having 'another' girl, she told me I couldn't stop until we have a boy, because 'every man wants a son.' Lol I'm pretty sure DH cares about the sex of our children even less than I do.

-When she found out that our daughter is DH's stepdaughter, she couldn't hide her shock/disapproval. She said, "Oh my, so that makes you a divorcee? This is your second husband? And here I was just the other day telling my friend what a gorgeous, perfect family had just moved in. But you're DIVORCED!"

I didn't even have a response for that last one :-S

You have got to be kidding me!!!!! I can't believe she would say something like that. My mouth literally dropped as I was reading!!!!

She's old. She lives alone, has never had kids, and idolizes her two rescue dogs (which actually makes me think much more highly of her. My dogs are my fur children too). I think she has a case of good intentions and zero filter. And since we plan to be here for the foreseeable, I'm going to maintain my grace with her (or so help me! Lol).

jefinley1 · June 2015

When my mom called her sister to tell her she was going to be a grandma again, my aunt's first response was, "Oh good, it isn't her sister again." Then followed with, "Well I guess now she really won't be looking to get a job any time soon."

Thanks lady, cause I totally love being the feminist who realized when the real world hit that when you fall in love and get married, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for a while so that you can take care of your family. I love staying "home" alone in a city that I hate instead of working so that I can actually see my husband when he happens to not be traveling on whatever day of the week that is and making my "job" doing all of the things he has absolutely no time to. But ya, me getting pregnant totally means I have officially joined the good little wife cult and I have now learned the error of my feminist ways as this is totally the way it should be. I will never even consider going to work or, heaven forbid, law school until my children are properly reared because that's what good women do!

Can you tell I'm looking forward to the baby shower? My extended family is pretty conservative, and they consider marriage and pregnancy to be crowning achievements in a woman's life, where my husband's family is constantly asking if I've found a job yet. Somehow me having a baby while not working is either my comeuppance or acquiescence, with some being more malicious about it than others.

Edited to make note of the slightly caustic tone with which the middle rant should be read. I forget that sarcasm doesn't always translate.

mrsdhouse89 · June 2015

jefinley1 said:
When my mom called her sister to tell her she was going to be a grandma again, my aunt's first response was, "Oh good, it isn't her sister again." Then followed with, "Well I guess now she really won't be going to be getting a job any time soon."

Thanks lady, cause I totally love being the feminist who realized when the real world hit that when you fall in love and get married, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for a while so that you can take care of your family. I love staying "home" alone in a city that I hate instead of working so that I can actually see my husband when he happens to not be traveling on whatever day of the week that is and making my "job" doing all of the things he has absolutely no time to. But ya, me getting pregnant totally means I have officially joined the good little wife cult and I have now learned the error of my feminist ways as this is totally the way it should be. I will never even consider going to work or, heaven forbid, law school until my children are properly reared because that's what good women do!

Can you tell I'm looking forward to the baby shower? My extended family is pretty conservative, and they consider marriage and pregnancy to be crowning achievements in a woman's life, where my husband's family is constantly asking if I've found a job yet. Somehow me having a baby while not working is either my comeuppance or acquiescence, with some being more malicious about it than others.

I find anyone who judges women for raising their kids instead of working outside the home are just jealous that they couldn't do it. I think it's great. Both my husband and I would love for me to stay home but financially we are both too selfish in the "wants" department to afford that. Keep raising those kids in your values instead of whatever daycare person would be watching them, I'm sure you're doing great!

jefinley1 · June 2015

@mrsdhouse89 Exactly! I would love to go to work at some point, as soon as it works for our now growing little family. My husband is totally willing to make sacrifices so that I can be a person too. We tag team. Right now it just makes sense for where we are for it to be his turn. While I don't think it is right that we live in a world where 80 hour weeks and on call travel without on call pay is acceptable, we do, so I make the best of it. But I have a deep respect for women who choose to stay home instead of working as my mom did for much of her life. I'm hoping I don't hit a moment in the shower where I just stand up and yell, "F*ck off everyone! Both sides of your bs rhetoric on what a woman, wife, and mother should look like does not apply to me or my life!"

mrsdhouse89 · June 2015

cgummie said:
Just sharing the most offensive things I've heard this week. First time I've really encountered anyone super rude and wondering if anyone else has heard these gems?

-My mom bet money that I wouldn't make it til my maternity leave date because I'll be too lazy.
-A coworker asked if I'd consider leaving for mat leave early, because I'm so irritable and mean.
-A customer asked if I'm pregnant, and when I answered yes, she said "thank god, I was thinking you were just eating too much junk food."
-A stranger asked when my baby is due. When I said October, she told me I look like I'll be ready to go next week! (I've gained a whole 7 lbs in 22w)

All I have to say is why do moms feel they can talk rudely and get away with it???

I called my mom after my last appointment to update her on where my blood sugars are and the plan going forward, I was astonished at her for going on and on with what I needed to do and how I need to get more active.... I've been doing all of this already and it just rubbed me entirely the wrong way. I hate being told by family "oh you can't eat this but I'm going to eat all of it right in front of you." My mom calls me lazy too because my husband does a lot of our house work but that is our agreement while I'm in school.

brebouds · June 2015

I get the " are you sure its only one?" comment a lot. One woman actually argued with me when I laughed and said no twins, just one. She proceeded to grab my belly and say " nope, there's definitely two in there..."

...... Would you like to see my US pictures?? I had no response but to walk away

karlimeliss · June 2015

When I got pregnant with my son who is 3 now I had taken a picture if the pregnacy test. My fiancée (we have been together for 10 years engaged for 4) and I had gone to a wedding that weekend. I made off I was showing my 2 SILs the wedding pictures and the last picture was of the test. One of my SILs sees it and goes, "Oh my god are you pregnant? Are you going to keep it? Your not married yet."
I cried and was very upset. I wish I could have snapped back, no this is my clever way of letting you know about my upcoming abortion. WTF! Almost 3 years later and it still pisses me off!

NatalieBrooke2007 · June 2015

@karlimeliss that pisses me off too! How rude to say that to you!

elmann1 · June 2015

Today I put a picture of my bump (There's one on the HDBD thread for this week!) and my uncle comments: "Wow, aren't you too big already? Maybe twins?" WTF!? He has NO kids, NO wife and posts the most obnoxious, opinionated crap on facebook. I'm not taking his comment seriously but that was my FIRST "Omg did he really say that?!" experience.... people are unbelievable!

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