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September 2015 Moms
Elysia21
member
Pancreatic Cancer/Broken Hubby :(
Elysia21
member
First of all, I hope this won't upset anyone by being mentioned.. But I suppose I am maybe looking for some sort of assurance with this situation as a whole. & Long post warning!
My husbands mother (65) was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
His father is not sharing much details on the DX, such as the stage it was/is, nothing that is very directional in terms of helping their 2 sons (hubby and older brother) to start to grasp the reality of the situation.. :S
They are extremely extreeeeemely close, he is the definition of "mommas boy" so this is very much more hard on him as you could imagine.
She has been in bed for over 2 months, on fentanyl patches, liquid hydromorph, dilaudid in pill form, morphine, a ton of RX anti vomiting etc, steroids.. She hasn't eaten a meal in about 2.5 months.. Never gets out of bed (exact opposite of her prior to this illness) So this is very worrisome for me, as from what I have read/heard this is probably not a good sign. I was told this disease is normally found in the advanced stages. To see someone go from full health and vitality to basically fully bed ridden.. Is terrifying. I am so worried for my hubby that something will happen and he is not very prepared for it.
(Not that you can ever really be prepared, but you know what I mean..)
She started chemo almost 2 weeks ago. (5 FU) She has been losing her bowels and bladder steadily since, has had a brief period of delusion (talking as if my hubby was 14, thought her dead dogs were there with her, talking to walls etc) She is on an at home IV, still living off of minimal liquid meals and is in very rough shape.. Nurses are in the home 3-4 times per week to change her PICC and check in.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone is more familiar with this disease, or may possibly have some sort of insight at all? I am just so devastated for him and his family. His poor father is 100% sure she will have chemo, it will shrink the cancer, have surgery and that she will be just fine and live forever. I am worried after researching statistics. Apparently only 75% or so of these patients survive a year.
It is so very sad... And I am struggling with this because I am 25 weeks pregnant, have an ever grieving, sad, distraught and fully distracted husband.. And I'm not only concerned about his mental health but I am also concerned that this is going to sort of take away from the birth of his first child. Not to sound selfish at ALL. I just mean that I feel like no matter what happens, he will be somewhere else mentally and not get to enjoy it for what it really is.
I am worried she may not make it until the end of September because of her condition.
Sorry everyone for the long post. I hope if this upsets anyone that you understand why I have posted, and accept my apology. I just have no one to explain how I am feeling to, or my concerns. I have few family members around and not many friends near... I also have never ever even heard of pancreatic cancer until now so it's very scary and worrisome.. As you can see.
If anyone has any input at all in terms of what the possibilities are with this, prognosis of disease, any personal experience that wouldn't hurt too much to share? I would appreciate it very much. I have no one to talk to about it.
Thanks.
My husbands mother (65) was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer
His father is not sharing much details on the DX, such as the stage it was/is, nothing that is very directional in terms of helping their 2 sons (hubby and older brother) to start to grasp the reality of the situation.. :S They are extremely extreeeeemely close, he is the definition of "mommas boy" so this is very much more hard on him as you could imagine.
She has been in bed for over 2 months, on fentanyl patches, liquid hydromorph, dilaudid in pill form, morphine, a ton of RX anti vomiting etc, steroids.. She hasn't eaten a meal in about 2.5 months.. Never gets out of bed (exact opposite of her prior to this illness) So this is very worrisome for me, as from what I have read/heard this is probably not a good sign. I was told this disease is normally found in the advanced stages. To see someone go from full health and vitality to basically fully bed ridden.. Is terrifying. I am so worried for my hubby that something will happen and he is not very prepared for it.
(Not that you can ever really be prepared, but you know what I mean..)
She started chemo almost 2 weeks ago. (5 FU) She has been losing her bowels and bladder steadily since, has had a brief period of delusion (talking as if my hubby was 14, thought her dead dogs were there with her, talking to walls etc) She is on an at home IV, still living off of minimal liquid meals and is in very rough shape.. Nurses are in the home 3-4 times per week to change her PICC and check in.
I guess I'm just wondering if anyone is more familiar with this disease, or may possibly have some sort of insight at all? I am just so devastated for him and his family. His poor father is 100% sure she will have chemo, it will shrink the cancer, have surgery and that she will be just fine and live forever. I am worried after researching statistics. Apparently only 75% or so of these patients survive a year.
It is so very sad... And I am struggling with this because I am 25 weeks pregnant, have an ever grieving, sad, distraught and fully distracted husband.. And I'm not only concerned about his mental health but I am also concerned that this is going to sort of take away from the birth of his first child. Not to sound selfish at ALL. I just mean that I feel like no matter what happens, he will be somewhere else mentally and not get to enjoy it for what it really is.
I am worried she may not make it until the end of September because of her condition.
Sorry everyone for the long post. I hope if this upsets anyone that you understand why I have posted, and accept my apology. I just have no one to explain how I am feeling to, or my concerns. I have few family members around and not many friends near... I also have never ever even heard of pancreatic cancer until now so it's very scary and worrisome.. As you can see.
If anyone has any input at all in terms of what the possibilities are with this, prognosis of disease, any personal experience that wouldn't hurt too much to share? I would appreciate it very much. I have no one to talk to about it.
Thanks.
Re: Pancreatic Cancer/Broken Hubby :(
Even having been through it I am at a loss for what to say. From what I understand the survival rate for pancreatic cancer is lower, often because it is found during late stages. I will add that I believe my grandfather was diagnosed with it when he was younger and he lived over twenty years past what they expected. I THINK his was pancreatic cancer.
Prepare your hearts, love her, enjoy her in the here and now... because we just don't know what can or will happen with each cancer patient. Your MIL sounds like she may be in the late stages, just by comparing how active my mom was in her early stage diagnosis. When my mom was diagnosed at stage 4, when she relapsed a few years after her initial diagnosis, she stopped eating and was bed-ridden.
I hope my honesty doesn't come off as blunt and unfeeling. I'm truly so heavy-hearted and wish you weren't having to go through this. I hate hate hate cancer.
Life can really throw you some shit when you feel your happiest. It's horrible.
Your in my thoughts Hun x
Regarding your comment that this experience will color the birth of your baby....it will. But all of our births are colored by something, whether it's a recent marriage, divorce, death, jon promotion, move, whatever. We are not born in a vacuum, we are born to families who have stories and textures. Your child will be born at a time of sorrow and transition with your MIL. The good thing is babies bring the hope of new potential, a fresh start, new beginnings. Perhaps your family needs this baby now more than ever? Perhaps the first job of this baby is to bring joy to those who are both losing and gaining so much in a short period of time?
Mum was a suitable candidate for an op called the whipple. This involved removing part of her pancreas, part of her liver, her bile duct and some intestines. It was a huge op but she was home in just over a fortnight and then started chemo. I can't remember how long she had chemo and radiation but when it finished she appeared 'Cancer free' at her 6 month check up. Unfortunately pc has a huge recurrence rate and it returned. From initial disgnosis my mum lasted 2.5 years. It is a horrible, horrible disease.
For your DH's mum to have any kind of chance she needs to eat.... A feat almost impossible for a person with pc. Is she on any build up drinks??? Could the doctor prescribe some? Would she be in any way inclined to smoke a certain plant that induces hunger and also reduces pain?
Check out the pancan website for lots of info and support. Feel free to pm me if you have any queries..... Thinking of you all x
As some of you have mentioned, it does seem to be a pretty grim diagnosis. And it is hard to estimate stage given the many variables. I can't help but think it is at least 3, because she is not a surgery candidate and having the cancer on the body/tail, she did not have jaundice whatsoever (yet) so the first indication of this terrible disease was severe pain in the back and digestive issues. I can't help but assume that the cancer would have to be quite large to cause so much pressure and pain.
I am going to take in every positive comment here, and you are all right. I suppose the baby is here to help everyone in the end, and we do all have our own life circumstances at one point or another.
Thanks again everyone. I can't possibly repay you all the respect I am feeling. Hope you and your little ones are all well, and feeling wonderful.
With regards to your husband and his grief; as our mum was so ill, we almost grieved with her, while she was still with us. When the time came for her to go, it was almost a welcome release for her and us. She had been through so much.
Your little ones arrival won't be cloaked in sadness, but rather it will be a reminder of how precious life is. It will be a time of joy for all of your family. Xxx
Bless you all!
We are now all involved in the Lustgarten Foundation.