Feeling down, fat, and lazy..

melsclem · June 2015

I have always wanted to be pregnant, but now that I am, I feel awful. I'm so exhausted and can't get anything done, which makes me feel lazy, which makes me feel depressed, which makes me want to lay around and eat all day, which makes me feel fat and disgusted with myself, which makes me feel even more tired and depressed..

I don't know what I'm looking for here. I know several people will say "Just force yourself to do something!" or "Go pamper yourself!" but that's not what I want. I know HOW to help myself, I just don't feel like I can.

I'm starting to feel really down. I cry a lot and feel so bad for my husband. Support?

mamaksweez · June 2015

2nd trimester is so much better!! Just deal with the lazy, eating all the time now, because at 12 weeks you get energy again!!! Good luck!

willashbaby · June 2015

One day at a time. It will get better. Hugs.

littlebean1 · June 2015

I feel your pain! I feel the same way. And I felt the same way during my first pregnancy! The 2nd tri is so much better! These feelings will pass, I promise!

melsclem · June 2015

Thank you guys. I really appreciate the support!

babym418 · June 2015

I feel the same way you do!! I've gained 5 lbs already and have always been fit and active. I feel so gross with myself all the time. I started walking again, everyday even if it's only 5 minutes it's given me a positive boost. And I'm trying my best to stick to healthy food options. I've only been eating crap since I found out. But that has seemed to help too. I'm at 9 w 2d and can't wait to get to the 2nd trimester hoping things will stabilize

Heron422 · June 2015

Feeling the same here

I saw some pictures of me yesterday. I never got back down to my pre infertility weight before getting pregnant and I'm really beating myself up for it. But, as long as I can stay healthy for the baby that's all that matters in the end. Feel better!

amargaret24 · June 2015

Girl, I feel ya! Don't get too wrapped up in your "standards" right now. I literally throw up three times a day, get up to clean/walk my dog/run errands and gag most the time. I'm exhausted, binging on bagels & pizza, and feel nasty!!!!! Also, my fiancé was totally whacked out from the surprise of thid pregnancy so for the first few weeks he was a total dick! However, remember this: you are growing a beautiful baby.....and it's gotta be worth it if women do it two, three, four, times!!!! Enjoy this lazy time....might be your last haha.

melsclem · June 2015

This is very helpful. Another thing I'm struggling with is my fear of gaining weight and not being able to lose it. I'm (selfishly) afraid of feeling fat and gross forever. I wish my mind would shut up sometimes.

SummerOH · June 2015

I think it's totally normal to feel this way, especially if you were active and healthy before. Just try to remind yourself that your energy will come back in a few weeks and your nausea will likely disappear, too. As far as weight gain concerns, I'm also someone that worries about that a little too much. It took me about a year and a half to get back in shape after DS was born, but that was largely because I was too exhausted to work out until he was almost a year old (didn't sleep through the night til 9 months). Breastfeeding did NOT help me snap back into shape, plus I saw perky moms jogging around our neighborhood, so I was even harder on myself. But regardless, I did lose the weight - and more - and thought about it later...what's a year and a half in the grand scheme of things? Nothing! Especially when you have a healthy, happy child to show for it! So what if you gain weight? You can always lose it.

Anyway, sorry for all the rambling. Just be kind to yourself and yourself a break. Growing a human is hard work for your body. Don't feel bad about yourself!

mrsjdonovan · June 2015

I feel exactly the same way. I have wanted nothing more than to get pregnant since my hubby and I got engaged. Now that I am finally pregnant 4 years later, I'm am totally depressed. I'm exhausted, lazy, eating like crazy and very emotional. I keep saying, what's going on with you, this is what you want. It's almost like I am mourning my old life a bit, like it will never be what is was before. I agree with everyone. I think once I hit the 2nd trimester, I will have more energy and begin to feel pregnant. We had a miscarriage in January (bilated ovum) and basically found out we miscarried at our first ultrasound. Out first ultrasound for this baby is on Tuesday so I don't even think I can feel excited until I get through and see that wonderful heartbeat. I'm thinking very positive thoughts til then (only two sleeps)!!!

carlyhammond · June 2015

I have been 200+lbs since high school. I've tried losing weight it just keeps coming back. I'm not active - my excercise is working (I'm a waitress) : so you active skinny moms to be aren't the only ones feeling fat, lazy and disgusting.
I've never been 100% happy with my apprence, and I used to take diet pills to get back in the 100's - but I have never felt disgusted with myself until now.
I don't want to be one of those moms who doesn't play with their kid because they are too fat or lazy.
And I want to be more active, but I feel so bad 99% of the time that I can't muster up half an energy boost to go do something. I'm begging for the second trimester to come so I can feel better about myself :-/

TinyDancer51510 · June 2015

I feel the same way. It's like it was back before I got on meds for my depression. I just keep reminding myself that it's temporary and try to do a load of laundry or unload the dishwasher as I feel up for it. Fortunately my husband doesn't give me any crap. He knows that I feel like shit. The mess bothers me more than it does him anyway.
Just hang on! Hopefully the suckiest part will be over soon. :-)

jonesl12 · June 2015

I just work through the lazy feeling and once my chores are done it actually makes me feel better

eating healthy can help your mood as well but that's easier said than done in some cases.

katiedid0907 · June 2015

Pregnancy is NOT easy. I really struggled with #1. You will get your energy back, but there's always a new challenge as the weeks progress. Just try your best to cut yourself some slack (I know it is tough) but you are growing a human being after all! *Hugs*

emililyha · June 2015

@carlyhammond I am right there with you. Never been super thin and was always bouncing around with my usual being overweight but always generally thought I was alright anyway. Now, I hate looking in mirrors and won't let people take pictures of me. It makes me so bummed. I hope we can all get through this crap patch and start feeling up to moving around!

I was on a romantic weekend getaway with the hubby and all I wanted to do was sleep. I felt like the lamest most boring version of myself and kept apologizing for my lameness. He's so sweet though, pretending he doesn't care. Ordering room service instead of going out to a fancy restaurant. I'm really hoping I get myself back soon. Really soon. I'm tired in so many ways!

lesliemdl · June 2015

I'm counting on getting some energy back 2nd trimester. I feel so useless! I'm getting through work fine, but get home and it's game over! DH is being pretty good so far, but I'm so worried he's going to start resenting that I'm not helping. We're usually such even partners with chores.

hshipman · June 2015

I feel your pain girl. Thankfully, I'm a teacher and on summer break BUT I still struggle trying to find the energy to get up and actually do something productive!! I will say swimming makes me feel like a whole new person!! Even if it's just for an hour afterwards. The cool water just relaxes my body I think. Hang in there!! This is my first pregnancy, so I'm kinda hopeless as far as when this will all get better. But I'm reminding myself that I have our precious baby inside me and this will all be worth it in the end!! Xo

svnna94 · June 2015

I feel a lot of us can relate, esp being in the first trimester. I've been so sick, I don't eat like I should either, and I feel terrible about it. I've also let the housework fall behind, makes me feel like a lazy bum looking at all the dishes in the sink but I just have to remind myself, Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.

CaraBoonie · June 2015

I can't wait to be out of the first trimester! I especially can't wait to "pop" and start showing instead of being bloated, I think once it's obvious that I'm pregnant and not just lazy and bloated I'll enjoy the process much more...also then I'll get to tell people, and it will be a lot more fun once others know the news and don't think I'm mean or lame for not going out and staying in bed watching Netflix and holding my stomach in constipated pain instead (if they only knew, lol).

carlita07 · June 2015

Me too! Fortunally my husband is amazing, he 's always reminding its normal, after first trimester we will feell better, its just our body telling us he needs energy to do magic! So be pacient girls! Soon we'll feel better!

arose3eb · June 2015

First, I just want to say how glad I am to be a part of a board that's so full of supportive and positive women! It's a jungle out there on some of these forums and I think we got lucky

I feel the same way a lot of you do wit the extreme fatigue and feeling terrible about letting the chores and exercise slack. For me it was the absolute worst between week 7 and halfway through my 9th week (I'm 10w today and finally got the energy to get on a bicycle yesterday). I actually kept sending my husband little internet articles about pregnancy fatigue just to validate how I was feeling for myself (he was fine with me lounging and sleeping all day). I don't know if this may be helpful for you girls, obviously that feeling only gets better with time, but sitting outside in the sun for 10-15 minutes with your forearms exposed will give you a good supply of vitamin D and may help you feel more positive in the meantime. Just hang in there, each one of us is going through a really incredible time (though it certainly doesn't feel like it sometimes

) Good luck everyone!

melsclem · June 2015

Each one of your replies has been so helpful! It's comforting I'm not alone, and to also know there is an end in sight. This is my first child, so it's hard to see the light sometimes.

bmmims · June 2015

I thought that my fatigue and laziness would never end. I am 10w3d now and it seemed like whenever I hit 10w I just started having more energy. I know that everyone is different and all pregnancies are different but I do believe there is hope! I even mowed the lawn yesterday (front & back) went on a mile walk and woke up this morning doing a work out dvd! I do believe you will get out of your slump, but if you're feeling super tired now just give into it.

Karenin · June 2015

It will get better! Try to just take it day by day and know that things get easier is 2nd tri.

rockinchic85 · June 2015

melsclem said:
This is very helpful. Another thing I'm struggling with is my fear of gaining weight and not being able to lose it. I'm (selfishly) afraid of feeling fat and gross forever. I wish my mind would shut up sometimes.

I feel ya girl! I dropped 100 lbs and was working on losing the rest when I found out I was pregnant. It's been a struggle for me to get out the 'diet' mode and eat better for me and baby (turns out growing a human requires a crap ton of fuel) and I went from working out every day to being so sick/dizzy/exhausted it's hard getting out of bed. I found that swimming helps and it's better than no exercise! Hang in there girl :-) we can do this!

Rach8672 · June 2015

I too am struggling mainly with nausea but also fatigue. I absolutely dread having plans in the upcoming month because I have no clue how I'm going to feel. We have a wedding four hours away this weekend , I feel so bad but I'd rather send a massive check in the mail to pay for our two plates and gift than actually attend . Buttt I know weddings are important and I'd never cancel so last minute so wish me luck .... I'm 9 weeks exactly , hoping to feel better soon !

On a positive note my hubby bought me flowers today for no reason and grocery shopped for the first time in months

PS he has no freaking clue what to eat for dinner now that I'm not up to cooking most nights. He had burned grilled cheese , awe ! Such a sport

raychelmarie33 · June 2015

This post is so encouraging! I used to be able to clean on my days off and ran plenty of errands and felt just fine about it. Now i consider it productive if I unloaded the dishwasher and took the dogs out to do their business a few times when my husband is gone while I spend the rest of my time off laying on the couch watching Netflix. I feel uncomfortable in my clothes. I want to wait until my first appointment before I share the news with anyone other than my husband, but it's becoming a burden when I don't feel well and just want to whine to people!
I'm so encouraged to read I'm not alone and it will get better!

CaraBoonie · June 2015

@Rach8672 I have a wedding that I have to fly to this weekend and I am DREADING it! The flying, the being awake all day...the wedding doesn't even start until 6pm, I'm nervous about how late it will go! And my husband can't make it due to a business trip, so I'll be rooming with friends, and nobody knows yet...so I'll have to lie about not feeling well or something and take a cab back to our hotel room alone, since I bet they'll want to stay out dancing all night. Sigh. The things we do for loved ones.

emililyha · June 2015

I hear ya, @CaraBoonie. I'm headed to a bachelorette party weekend out of town on Thursday. All I want to do is nap!!!!!! And I'm not ready to tell anyone yet until we pass our previous loss milestone (the 10 week Doppler) so it's going to be tricky to find times to just sleep. I'm trying to store up as much sleep as I can between now and then (I know it doesn't really work that way...).

melsclem · June 2015

I hope I'm not speaking too soon, but I've been feeling tiny bits better these past few days. More energy and a better mood. In going this is a positive trend!

We can do it!

friendlywolf0913 · June 2015

I just want to say amen to this...all of it haha! I'm in my last semester of college and man being in the first trimester is rough and I've felt so fat and lazy!

emlywilson · June 2015

I feel exactly the same way. I have zero energy to do anything, especially workout. My house is a complete mess it is embarrassing. I'm so nauseous that the only thing I can stomach is cheeseburgers, pizza, PB&J sandwiches, and pasta. I'm so bloated and constipated and gassy it is disgusting. I'm 10.5 weeks and definitely not showing, but I bought maternity pants because I'm so bloated I can't get my regular ones to button! The things they don't tell you about before you get pregnant...

Krhayes777 · June 2015

SOOO glad to hear I'm not the only one!!! I feel so tired and nauseous all the time..I feel like my daily routine right now is eat, feel nauseous, sleep (or feel sleepy), and repeat all day! I have tried exercising and I get winded so quick when I have been used to being active even recently... I don't feel like myself but I do agree- growing a baby is hard work-and well worth it in the end!

mcashill · June 2015

You are not alone! I also feel fat and lazy. I've been blessed to face minimal nausea but I've steady out on 8 pounds (I'm 10 weeks) and I have the appetite of a whale. Before I found out I was pregnant I was wildly successful at weight watchers and lost about 30 pounds and counting. I'm having a hard time with gaining weight and having tight clothes, which is something that I was trying to stay away from by doing weight watchers! I'm very happy to be pregnant but I have to admit to someone that this is one aspect of pregnancy I'm not happy about. I just spent so much time losing weight and fitting into smaller clothes and it's all reversing. I feel like a brat even saying this. Please don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled about being pregnant. And as soon as I can, I'm getting back on weight watchers!

shrsri · June 2015

I'm feel just the same... So tired and lazy the whole day.. I am yawning all the time at work and can barely focus...in fact I can't even muster the energy to finish posting th

CamilleJon · June 2015

melsclem

you are stressin' guuuurl. Chin up, pls

I gained SEVENTY lbs with my first and I wanted to die but BFing, stress of being a new mom, chasing a toddler around and 2-3 days in the gym (thank fuck my gym had a daycare) gave me back my pre-preg body minus 10lbs after about 18 months. When you're sitting there holding your little baby for the first time then the extra weight will be the last thing on your mind... and not only bc you'll have plenty of other things to stress about... but bc you'll know a few extra pounds was what that baby needed and in no time you'll have your hot, sexy, pre-preg body back and everyone will be like "omg YOU had a baby???" promise

bananers · June 2015

How's this for fat and lazy? Someone posted a picture of chocolate chip cookies on IG and it spurred an insane craving. I was too lazy to bake so now I'm eating chocolate chips by the handful, straight from the bag.

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