Really unsure whether to breastfeed or not...

last14me · June 2015

So I've been intending to breastfeed since I found out I was pregnant in mid November. Recently, I've become really unsure about it. I've been watching a family member (who had her baby a couple of months ago) and she is breastfeeding with also pumping. I really thought that was what I wanted. But she is dealing with somewhat random feeding schedules and cluster feeding and worrying if baby is getting enough to eat, and everytime her baby is hungry she has to go hijack a bedroom to feed her...the list goes on. I formula fed my first two many years ago. They turned out great. I would be the mom at the mall that would be freaking out...crying baby, searching for a private place to feed him...panicking.

I also have a lot going on with me and my mental state...I'm so overwhelmed and I think all the worry and newness of breastfeeding would just add to it.

Would I be a horrible mom to not breastfeed for the sake of my own sanity?

inkblotanna · June 2015

Just give it a try! Your baby might be a feeding champ

JHaworth84 · June 2015

No, absolutely you would not be a horrible mum not to breastfeed. You need to do what is right for you and your family and what your baby needs more than anything is a happy and healthy mum. I breastfed my first for just four weeks but found it really tough and it made me miserable. I wanted to try again with my second daughter and it never really got started. The best thing I did though was to let go of the guilt! Your gut instinct this time was to give breastfeeding a go but you don't have to make any decisions until your baby is here. Some breastfeeding mums have a straight forward time, babies that sleep and feed easily and don't have all the hassle of bottles etc. So... Relax, see what happens- whatever you decide will be the best for your family xxx

mers90 · June 2015

Maybe this family member is over reacting, think about the millions of mothers that have breastfed and it works for them. Don't judge something according to someone else's experience, you should try for yourself before making a decision ... But if you choose not to do it then there's nothing wrong with it, there's also a lot of women who don't do it and everything goes perfectly fine.

rainbowBOOM · June 2015

You have to do what's right for you. I'm in the same boat you are. 100% formula fed my first and now back and forth if I want to bf this one. My husband is totally supportive of whatever I choose, do you have support around you to encourage what you choose as well? I think that would help. Also, there's absolutely no reason you have to run and hide to breastfeed. I don't eat in the bathroom so odds are I have no intentions of feeding my kid in one.

But there are tons of successful bf'ing stories, don't let just one negative experience sway you.

Bugs1718 · June 2015

Make whatever decision you feel is best for you and baby. Mom's have enough guilt without the societal pressures of "breastfeeding is best". While there are clear benefits, it is not always best for everyone.

AziaNick · June 2015

Do what's right for you, you can always do some formula and some breast milk

Kmommy5 · June 2015

Don't feel bad for choosing not to breastfeed if you decide you don't want to, but also don't live with regrets and the what ifs? I would try it out and if you don't like it, then no harm done and you will have experienced it and probably glad that you did. For me I absolutely fell in love with breastfeeding my baby, it at times can be hard and feel inconvenient , but the other times it's so special and bonding. Those are the times that make it worth it for me.
Good luck in whatever you decide!

ChristyM87 · June 2015

Do what you feel is best for you and your situation. I am planning to breastfeed but I have no intention on running away to a bedroom or private area every time my kid is hungry. Hopefully as long as my baby is gaining weight I won't worry about weight gain

sschwege · June 2015

If you are unsure then you should give it a try, really no harm in it. You may decide it works for you and baby, or as pp said you may want to do a mix of the two. If you decide it isn't working then make the switch. But how will you know if you don't try? Your family member's situation has no bearing on what your own experience will be.

erinnlou · June 2015

I don't think you would be horrible mom for not breastfeeding. But you might as well give it a try. Who knows, you may really enjoy it.

jtenkorang · June 2015

With my first I wanted to exclusively breastfeed for at least a year. But I ended up breastfeeding her for 7 months but I started supplementing with formula at 1 month. So I look at it as do what makes you comfortable do both or do just one. But do keep in mind that some breast milk does help your babies brain develop. But don't stress yourself out over it. This time I'm having twins so I know I will be supplementing at least if not doin formula right away. But we will see how it goes. Just relax and do what is best for you and the baby that's all you can do

zmombie · June 2015

I'm selfish and don't breast feed. For many reasons..
1. It weirds me out the thought of having a baby suckle my tit.
2. I want my body back.
3. I don't want to be sore anymore
4. I stress way to damn easily, and don't want to dread feeding my child.. It needs to be something special and bonding and if I breast feed with this mentality my child will feel my stress and anger and God only knows what that will do to her..
And lastly.. I need to go back on my meds... For everyone's sake.
So if that makes me a bad mom, well it's a good thing no one else's opinions matter but my babies. And she will be well nourished and loved.

And I must add that both my children are extremely intelligent. Both were speaking in full sentences by a year old.. My oldest has always been above average in everything. At 9 months old she would communicate enough to understand. So people who say only breast fed babies are smart... Are very rude. And very wrong. Yes breast is best.. But formula is great to!

kmhefner01 · June 2015

I breast fed my first and plan to do it again and it was extremely hard the first week or two. I struggled a lot thinking about switching to formula because I felt like I couldn't do it, but I got through it and it became second nature and I'm glad I did it. I loved breast feeding once we got established and I would encourage anyone to give it a good try BUT... Only you know what you can handle and what is best for YOUR family. If you breast feed but have constant stress and anxiety through it I think that negates any benefits they might of gotten from the brest milk because the baby will pick up on your emotional state. Ultimately you are the mom so no one else's opinion should make the decision for you and don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you know it's best for you and your baby. How you decide to feed your baby doesn't make someone a good or bad mom.

butterfly061583 · June 2015

I never panicked about finding a private place all I needed was somewhere to sit and my breathable cover and we were good to go. Sometimes the first 3 months can be rough with all the growth spurts but once you get past that it's actually pretty easy and convenient IMO. With her first growth spurt at one point she woke up every 30 min to nurse but once my supply adjusted I got more rest. Everyone's experience is different. I would suggest that you at least try it your experience may be nothing like hers. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out it won't make you a horrible mom.

ktabs · June 2015

A happy mom is more important than a breastfeeding mom

sschwege · June 2015

ktabs said:

A happy mom is more important than a breastfeeding mom

This all the way! I hate the phrase, 'Breast is Best' it totally takes mom and baby out of the equation. Sure if you have a bottle of BM sitting on the counter and a bottle of formula then BM wins. But to make the assumption that 'breast is best' for all mothers/babies is failing to look at the whole picture. Healthy, happy mom and baby is best!

babydoll1008 · June 2015

The good news is that you won't be a horrible person either way if you decided to breastfeed or do formula. I would most definitely try both options to see which one you like better and works for you personally.

There is also the option of exclusively breast pumping which is what I am going to do because of issues I had with breast feeding with my last child. I'll let you know that goes in a month's time once I try it out.

However, there is so much emphasis that breast feeding is good for the baby that I felt like a wicked person because I was unable to breast feed with my last. So I understand why you feel like you will be horrible person for choosing formula but I will tell you now that you are most certainly NOT! Your baby will be fed no matter what decision you make and that is the important thing. Do what feels right! Hope this helps!

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