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From Baby center....to TheBump?

MrsConfused14MrsConfused14 member
edited June 2015 in 2nd Trimester
So I came from baby center December board because I just can't handle all of the sad/negative posts. I worry enough as it is and that board is stressing me more than my 2 kids! I enjoy baby center but lately its been all about loss and scary pregnancy sickness. I am literally worried about everything this pregnancy and delivery and I just can't afford any extra stress. So hello to all and you will probably see MANY posts from me and my crazy anxiety ridden questions.
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Re: From Baby center....to TheBump?

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  • dogsombrerodogsombrero member
    Babycenter is widely regarded as far more easy going/ glittery than the bump. Lurk, use google and use the search function. You will likely find that the flavor of TB is not fitting with the glittery experience you are seeking. Best of luck to you.
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  • cdepperschmidtcdepperschmidt member
    Welcome!
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  • PugsandKissesPugsandKisses member
    Maybe baby gaga would be a good fit for yiu.
    Thank God for Raid.

    image
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  • Ceridwen77Ceridwen77 member
    Experiencing a loss isn't contagious, but being supportive of others is. If you can't support people during such a horrible/trying time, then I don't know how you can expect anyone to in turn provide you with any type of support. I do wish you luck with your pregnancy, but not sure you have the right approach going here.
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  • cg0112358cg0112358 member
    MrsConfused14 said:

    So I came from baby center December board because I just can't handle all of the sad/negative posts. I worry enough as it is and that board is stressing me more than my 2 kids! I enjoy baby center but lately its been all about loss and scary pregnancy sickness. I am literally worried about everything this pregnancy and delivery and I just can't afford any extra stress. So hello to all and you will probably see MANY posts from me and my crazy anxiety ridden questions.

    So let me get this straight, you're upset about others posting about their losses and pregnancy sickness because it causes added stress to you but expect us to support you when you offload your stress on to us when you post your anxiety ridden questions? Lol, good luck with that...
    DS1: 8/3/10, DD1: 8/17/13, DD2: 8/13/15
    Twins lost to due to partial molar pregnancy: September 2011 
    ~~PAL, PgAL Always Welcome~~
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    I didn't like being told it was considered "rude" to comment on old posts. And then watching as another member was called out for NOT being aware of the content of old posts. 

    I found it catty, redundant and full of people who needlessly complicate things. 

    Any pregnancy board is going to be like that because it's a bunch of us jacked up on hormones. But this one was just stupid. 
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited June 2015
    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:
    So I came from baby center December board because I just can't handle all of the sad/negative posts. I worry enough as it is and that board is stressing me more than my 2 kids! I enjoy baby center but lately its been all about loss and scary pregnancy sickness. I am literally worried about everything this pregnancy and delivery and I just can't afford any extra stress. So hello to all and you will probably see MANY posts from me and my crazy anxiety ridden questions.
    You left Baby Center because you couldn't be bothered to give support to the women who needed it (how DARE those women take attention away from you), so you come here to demand that everyone support you with no mention of how you'll return the favor. Entitled much. I'm not sure I feel like offering support to someone who can't even muster up sympathy to someone else hurting over a loss.
    I think people deal with fear differently. I laughed at my grandmother's funeral because i couldn't deal with crying. And because if i didn't laugh, I would have started screaming and wouldn't be able to stop. And, no, you know what? I almost didn't go. 

    I find it hard to read loss threads too, fyi. I had one. It was physically very traumatic and a horrible experience. And i try to support loss threads but there are some days where your heart can only take so much. And on those days, avoiding something that will break it is you taking care of yourself. 

    There is always another day to be stronger. 
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    MrsConfused14 said:
    So I came from baby center December board because I just can't handle all of the sad/negative posts. I worry enough as it is and that board is stressing me more than my 2 kids! I enjoy baby center but lately its been all about loss and scary pregnancy sickness. I am literally worried about everything this pregnancy and delivery and I just can't afford any extra stress. So hello to all and you will probably see MANY posts from me and my crazy anxiety ridden questions.
    Although, can I just say? Stress, on the level that we here in this part of the world experience it, isn't going to do you or the baby a lot of harm. It's recommended to keep your stress down for your own sanity and to make sure you're not in such a twist that you're not eating or sleeping. But i promise you, stress is not going to hurt anybody to the degree that we deal with it. Women in war zones, living with severe abuse (And I'm going to assume you're not but if you are, i'm very sorry and retract this entire statement) or suffering terminal illness give birth all the time. In fact, there were babies born at Auschwitz. So a mother CAN certainly carry a great deal of stress. So if you want to feel a little stress, go ahead and feel it. Kid'll be fine. 
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited June 2015
    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:
    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:
    So I came from baby center December board because I just can't handle all of the sad/negative posts. I worry enough as it is and that board is stressing me more than my 2 kids! I enjoy baby center but lately its been all about loss and scary pregnancy sickness. I am literally worried about everything this pregnancy and delivery and I just can't afford any extra stress. So hello to all and you will probably see MANY posts from me and my crazy anxiety ridden questions.
    You left Baby Center because you couldn't be bothered to give support to the women who needed it (how DARE those women take attention away from you), so you come here to demand that everyone support you with no mention of how you'll return the favor. Entitled much. I'm not sure I feel like offering support to someone who can't even muster up sympathy to someone else hurting over a loss.
    I think people deal with fear differently. I laughed at my grandmother's funeral because i couldn't deal with crying. And because if i didn't laugh, I would have started screaming and wouldn't be able to stop. And, no, you know what? I almost didn't go. 

    I find it hard to read loss threads too, fyi. I had one. It was physically very traumatic and a horrible experience. And i try to support loss threads but there are some days where your heart can only take so much. And on those days, avoiding something that will break it is you taking care of yourself. 

    There is always another day to be stronger. 
    NOBODY likes a loss thread. NOBODY likes to have to offer support to someone who lost their baby. I hate having to support stuff like that because I hate that it happens. But it does. And those women hurt like crazy. The very least you can do (ESPECIALLY since OP is demanding tons of support in return) is offer your positive thoughts. You don't come to a forum community, declare that you won't support those who need it, and then expect everyone else to give you expect that same support that you refuse to offer for all of your "many crazy anxiety ridden" questions. Life doesn't work that way. Forum communities don't work that way. You don't just get to take, take, take like it's your right without giving something back. That's the rudest thing ever.

    Yeah that's not what I meant or said. What I meant, and I believe what I said, is that it's ok to avoid a loss thread temporarily if you're having a hard day. In fact I'd recommend avoiding the Internet when you're having a hard day. The point of my post was more to say that it's easier to support others if you don't feel pressured to do it the second you see the thread. And instead offer support whenever you're able to. Which is perfectly reasonable.
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  • GrumpyCatSaysNoGrumpyCatSaysNo member
    groovylocks said:


    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:

    groovylocks said:


    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:

    MrsConfused14 said:

    So I came from baby center December board because I just can't handle all of the sad/negative posts. I worry enough as it is and that board is stressing me more than my 2 kids! I enjoy baby center but lately its been all about loss and scary pregnancy sickness. I am literally worried about everything this pregnancy and delivery and I just can't afford any extra stress. So hello to all and you will probably see MANY posts from me and my crazy anxiety ridden questions.

    You left Baby Center because you couldn't be bothered to give support to the women who needed it (how DARE those women take attention away from you), so you come here to demand that everyone support you with no mention of how you'll return the favor. Entitled much.

    I'm not sure I feel like offering support to someone who can't even muster up sympathy to someone else hurting over a loss.


    I think people deal with fear differently. I laughed at my grandmother's funeral because i couldn't deal with crying. And because if i didn't laugh, I would have started screaming and wouldn't be able to stop. And, no, you know what? I almost didn't go. 

    I find it hard to read loss threads too, fyi. I had one. It was physically very traumatic and a horrible experience. And i try to support loss threads but there are some days where your heart can only take so much. And on those days, avoiding something that will break it is you taking care of yourself. 

    There is always another day to be stronger. 
    NOBODY likes a loss thread. NOBODY likes to have to offer support to someone who lost their baby. I hate having to support stuff like that because I hate that it happens. But it does. And those women hurt like crazy. The very least you can do (ESPECIALLY since OP is demanding tons of support in return) is offer your positive thoughts.

    You don't come to a forum community, declare that you won't support those who need it, and then expect everyone else to give you expect that same support that you refuse to offer for all of your "many crazy anxiety ridden" questions. Life doesn't work that way. Forum communities don't work that way. You don't just get to take, take, take like it's your right without giving something back. That's the rudest thing ever.


    Yeah that's not what I meant or said. What I meant, and I believe what I said, is that it's ok to avoid a loss thread temporarily if you're having a hard day.

    In fact I'd recommend avoiding the Internet when you're having a hard day. The point of my post was more to say that it's easier to support others if you don't feel pressured to do it the second you see the thread. And instead offer support whenever you're able to. Which is perfectly reasonable.

    That's cool and all but that's not what OP said. I only go off of what is posted here. According to her post, she doesn't intend on offering any support, just demanding her own. In fact she left an entire site to avoid having to give support. I have days where I avoid the loss threads but eventually I'm going to post and offer prayers or positive thoughts. It's not that difficult to do. And if giving support is too hard for some people, then they don't need to be a part of an online community since it's all about give and take. Not just take take take.

    You're giving OP advice I how to deal with the loss posts but she never asked for help because she doesn't intend on lending support.
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  • allrightmeowallrightmeow member
    No. 
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:
    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:
    GrumpyCatSaysNo said:
    So I came from baby center December board because I just can't handle all of the sad/negative posts. I worry enough as it is and that board is stressing me more than my 2 kids! I enjoy baby center but lately its been all about loss and scary pregnancy sickness. I am literally worried about everything this pregnancy and delivery and I just can't afford any extra stress. So hello to all and you will probably see MANY posts from me and my crazy anxiety ridden questions.
    You left Baby Center because you couldn't be bothered to give support to the women who needed it (how DARE those women take attention away from you), so you come here to demand that everyone support you with no mention of how you'll return the favor. Entitled much. I'm not sure I feel like offering support to someone who can't even muster up sympathy to someone else hurting over a loss.
    I think people deal with fear differently. I laughed at my grandmother's funeral because i couldn't deal with crying. And because if i didn't laugh, I would have started screaming and wouldn't be able to stop. And, no, you know what? I almost didn't go. 

    I find it hard to read loss threads too, fyi. I had one. It was physically very traumatic and a horrible experience. And i try to support loss threads but there are some days where your heart can only take so much. And on those days, avoiding something that will break it is you taking care of yourself. 

    There is always another day to be stronger. 
    NOBODY likes a loss thread. NOBODY likes to have to offer support to someone who lost their baby. I hate having to support stuff like that because I hate that it happens. But it does. And those women hurt like crazy. The very least you can do (ESPECIALLY since OP is demanding tons of support in return) is offer your positive thoughts. You don't come to a forum community, declare that you won't support those who need it, and then expect everyone else to give you expect that same support that you refuse to offer for all of your "many crazy anxiety ridden" questions. Life doesn't work that way. Forum communities don't work that way. You don't just get to take, take, take like it's your right without giving something back. That's the rudest thing ever.

    Yeah that's not what I meant or said. What I meant, and I believe what I said, is that it's ok to avoid a loss thread temporarily if you're having a hard day. In fact I'd recommend avoiding the Internet when you're having a hard day. The point of my post was more to say that it's easier to support others if you don't feel pressured to do it the second you see the thread. And instead offer support whenever you're able to. Which is perfectly reasonable.
    That's cool and all but that's not what OP said. I only go off of what is posted here. According to her post, she doesn't intend on offering any support, just demanding her own. In fact she left an entire site to avoid having to give support. I have days where I avoid the loss threads but eventually I'm going to post and offer prayers or positive thoughts. It's not that difficult to do. And if giving support is too hard for some people, then they don't need to be a part of an online community since it's all about give and take. Not just take take take. You're giving OP advice I how to deal with the loss posts but she never asked for help because she doesn't intend on lending support.
    To be totally fair to the op, though, what she said is that she can't afford the extra stress and I figure, if i can give her a way to manage it and still be a supportive member of the community, she might be able to rework her approach here. 

    Now if she just can't be bothered, that's something completely different. But i got the sense that it frightens her to read those posts. It did me too. Until today - today i hit that milestone of "So it's pretty ridiculously unlikely that your child will die in utero at this point" and I feel much more fortified to help other women not only calm their own worry (without adding my own) but to help women deal with tragedy, without somehow relating it back to my own worries (which we all do, come on.. we all worry when something happens to one of us.) 

    I remember a woman making a funny and sweet post about how jealous she was that her bump would take longer to be visible. Because she was a bigger girl, etc. Really good humor in the post and a clear feeling of excitement and happiness.

    Two days later? She lost her child. In a very heartbreaking and dramatic way that i won't get into here. 

    It shook me. Like, for DAYS it shook me. I get that feeling. 
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