Blended Families
+just+j+
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Children and guns
+just+j+
member
I have a situation with my ex. I want opinions.
XH told me today that next year he wants to enroll our DD5 in a local gun club. I grew up around guns but wasn't allowed to shoot one until my teens. I am not opposed to guns completely, but my ex is a bit overboard. He insists on carrying a concealed handgun (a Glock) he has an assault weapon no a hunting rifle. He talks about needing to protect himself and family from terrorists or nut cases that might come into McDonalds or the mall and shoot everyone.
We live in a pretty low crime city and I find him to be a bit paranoid and ridiculous. He claims teaching our daughter to handle and shoot a weapon teaches to better respect the weapon. I disagree. I was raised to highly respect guns and didn't handle one until the age of twelve.
Currently our state has legislature that is being debated that will either prevent grade school age children from handling guns or will allow parents to do exactly what my ex wants to do. We are a hunting state, and it brings in a lot of revenue, so it's very possible XH will get his wish.
My questions are:
At what age do you think a child is potentially mature enough to handle any kind of gun?
Any advice on proceeding with legal action to prevent him doing this until she's MUCH older? Or at least require he gets my approval first?
XH told me today that next year he wants to enroll our DD5 in a local gun club. I grew up around guns but wasn't allowed to shoot one until my teens. I am not opposed to guns completely, but my ex is a bit overboard. He insists on carrying a concealed handgun (a Glock) he has an assault weapon no a hunting rifle. He talks about needing to protect himself and family from terrorists or nut cases that might come into McDonalds or the mall and shoot everyone.
We live in a pretty low crime city and I find him to be a bit paranoid and ridiculous. He claims teaching our daughter to handle and shoot a weapon teaches to better respect the weapon. I disagree. I was raised to highly respect guns and didn't handle one until the age of twelve.
Currently our state has legislature that is being debated that will either prevent grade school age children from handling guns or will allow parents to do exactly what my ex wants to do. We are a hunting state, and it brings in a lot of revenue, so it's very possible XH will get his wish.
My questions are:
At what age do you think a child is potentially mature enough to handle any kind of gun?
Any advice on proceeding with legal action to prevent him doing this until she's MUCH older? Or at least require he gets my approval first?
"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
Re: Children and guns
Guns were never forced upon us and we knew that guns weren't play toys. So if your DD is interested in learning about gun safety first and then so on then I would say she's mature enough.
However, it sounds more like BD is pushing this on her and his reasons are invalid because she's five and it's his job as a responsible gun owner to keep them locked up. If she's not wanting to participate in an activity that involves weapons then IMO it can wait until she's older.
Do you have joint legal custody? If so this can stop him from enrolling her as this would be considered a major decision and if he really wants to enroll her now then he can take you back to court. Just have more than a substantial argument ready so the judge won't think twice. Good luck.
I think it is largely dependent on the individual child and the purpose.
Honestly, knowing your XH as you have portrayed him on the board, I would trust the gun club to teach your DD much more safely than he would. You know he is going to expose her to them and that he has them in the house, and as much as you might like, you can't guarantee he always follows safety rules as he should. It might be a good idea in this case to get her involved in a gun club for the simple benefit of learning safety and respect.
Also, I would say only if she is genuinely interested, but kids can always tell one parent they don't want to and then tell the other one that they do. So that's tricky, too.
Good luck.
The purpose of us getting her this rifle is to teach her proper gun safety, and she LOVES her rifle, not to mention is a pretty accurate shot. She is aware of all the rules: no touching the gun unless you are being supervised by an adult. No pointing the gun in the direction of any person. No putting your finger on the trigger unless you're ready to shoot, and the like.
We definitely talked this over with her BM before doing it, but were met with very little resistance. Her biggest concern is that the gun is in a secure place when at home.
From my experience, gun clubs are one of the safest places for children to learn about shooting. They harp on the importance of always being safe and will stop unsafe actions immediately. I personally think your daughter will be fine, however, if you are thoroughly against it, I would talk to your ex first regarding your concerns.
If you both cannot come to any sort of agreement, I'm sure you could talk to a lawyer regarding the situation and find a way to solve the issue that way.
Good luck to you.
Sidenote: new to this board so I am not familiar with your situation. I hope you find a resolution!