Ruining hubby's sexy time:

lilbubb · June 2015

lately, when my hubby tries to initiate any type of sexy time, I ruin the moment by being nauseous, having heartburn, lower back pain, or whatever else comes with being pregnant. I'm only 32 weeks and every time it happens, he seems extremely disappointed. He says he understands but I'm starting to feel he doesn't. Should I be more considerate of his needs? Should he be more understanding? This is our first baby.

jtenkorang · June 2015

It happens to everyone. It's been a while for us too. My hubby has just gotten use to it. But we make up for it in other ways. It doesn't always have to be sex in my opinion. So yeah it's a compromise most of the time when you get this late in the pregnancy. Plus there is no sexy time allowed for at least 6 weeks after birth. So you may want to prepare him for that.

SnarkasaurusRex · June 2015

I can't remember the last time DH and I had sexy times. My cervix is really low and in the way, so it's been super uncomfortable. I've always had a low sex drive to begin with, and pregnancy has made it a millions times worse. I try to make it up to him in other ways (back/foot rubs, special dinner, etc.), and he's been pretty chill about it. I think it helps that his best friend's wife was SUPER paranoid about everything while she was pregnant AND while she was breast feeding, so he had a three YEAR dry spell. It makes my once a month or so sexy times look like a real treat, haha.

IMO, you don't owe him anything. You're growing a human, which is a teensy bit important. He can handle a little celibacy (or hand time) until you're feeling up to it.

kate5all · June 2015

Men are more than capable of being celibate for extended periods of time--just look at my DH's friends (ZING!). I'd just be really open and honest with him and tell him that you would love nothing more than to have sexy time with him, but it's just too difficult lately.

And maybe keep trying as you feel up to it--you never know when it will "work"!

Just my 2 cents.

LittleRue · June 2015

Awe we all have needs, your husband included. I couldn't imagine not having sex with my husband. I might not feel great when we start but once it's boot knocking time I don't even think about the preggo stuff.
Sure he understands but not really because men can't really understand what it's like being a pregnant woman. So I'm sure his feelings are hurt being rejected sexually plain sucks no matter the reason. But it sounds like you're really considerate of his feelings and concerned I say throw him a bone lol

JHaworth84 · June 2015

I think it's definitely hard for them as men seem to take it more personally as a rejection rather than it just being a result of extreme exhaustion. First time dads might also have a few worries about having a new family member competing with your affection in the near future. I'm not too worried as it's our third and things have got back to normal pretty quick afterwards, I just try to reassure him that he is still my best friend and I love him lots (even if sex has been replaced with moaning most days

) x

mnj05 · June 2015

For both pregnancies, my husband went/will go at least a year without. We did IVF for both boys and at the beginning we couldn't, then I was on some lovely suppositories that are just too gross until 20 weeks. The first pregnancy DH was scared to have sex and this time we're just too exhausted after chasing our two year old.

We make up for it in other ways too and my sex drive is insanely low to begin with anyway. He understands and has never pushed the issue. It happens but eventually it will return to normal.

Handree · June 2015

I haven't had much of a sex drive but I still try to meet my husbands needs. He doesn't ask for sex very often, so when he does I say ok. But.... last time may have been the LAST time because I let a big ol fart go! So not sexy!! And I started laughing hysterically like a little kid after, and then peed a little bit! I won't be surprised if he doesn't try agin until after the baby is born.

Numajawara · June 2015

^^^ omgeee lol that's hilarious

My sex drive has been "one the edge" the past few weeks ... Like after 30 weeks I don't really feel the need for sex but I never said no to him. So that's like every other day having sex ... But he's starting to notice because he is the only one that has to make the move first now if not I'm just laying down likee the big old whale i feel like .

shenry43 · June 2015

Sex is painful for me. We tried the 69 position but I crushed him with my belly and enormous thighs. Proceded with doggy style but then I got severe pain in my abdomen and ended up crying because I was trying to fight through it. The next day I had contractions and had to get a shot of brethine in the childbirth center and now I'm on pelvic rest. I'm just being a good wife by giving my husband plenty of blowjobs. I feel terrible that our sex life is completely different!!!! :-/

rw3190 · June 2015

Wow and mine complains about once or twice a week

(Presently 32w)

shenry43 · June 2015

He's a lucky man!

LAO12 · June 2015

I have been on pelvic rest since week 22 (currently 34w3d twins) and no sex or any orgasm bc I started having contractions and pain early (and my belly is Huge). So it has been a very long time and I can feel the tension. I have also noticed that DH is less affectionate overall...no hugs or kisses. I feel like I am living with a roommate

AziaNick · June 2015

We haven't had sex in along time too. Due to bed rest and also because I'm just never in the mood. The naseau, uncomfortableness, headaches and movement in general. We please each other in other ways though

snuggling and cuddling and touching and just holding each other

we love to kiss and do things like that, so that's what we end up doing hahha and we spend more time talking to each other and being there for each other in different ways other then sex. I know he wants to do it, but he is very understanding. I would talk to your man about it and think of other ways to be intimate toward each other. Massaging each other, taking a nice bath together or just holding each other.

KAR8706 · June 2015

Handree said:

I haven't had much of a sex drive but I still try to meet my husbands needs. He doesn't ask for sex very often, so when he does I say ok. But.... last time may have been the LAST time because I let a big ol fart go! So not sexy!! And I started laughing hysterically like a little kid after, and then peed a little bit! I won't be surprised if he doesn't try agin until after the baby is born.

Hahaha totally been there... only my SO seemed to ignore it.

We both have pretty high sex drives and still go at it frequently. Just not as often due to exhaustion lately.

audi681 · June 2015

I think it is kind of strange to label this post "ruining hubby's sexy time." You are very, very pregnant, and although he has needs, you are kind of the trump card right now. He has a hand. He wouldn't be reinventing the wheel to use it. I have had a lot of discomfort with sex, expressed that to my husband, and he hasn't asked for it once since! I assume he is taking care of that on his own, and things will get back on track when I do not have an entire person inside of me. Basically, you are not ruining anything! You are creating a person and carrying his child!! You don't owe any other favors aside from loving him and taking care of his child/yourself!

VToman · June 2015

We haven't had sex in about four weeks. I just don't feel sexy and I'm tired all the time! My hubby has been wonderful about it. But, I do feel bad... we really haven't done much since we found out I was pregnant. And, I know it will be a while after delivery before we do anything.

lizh62288 · June 2015

Meh we makeout and cuddle. And I give a good amount of bj's which I feel is very nice haha but sex just hurts so bad.

runswithscissors86 · June 2015

Hubby and l had a "come to Jesus" last week about this. I realized that my disinterest in sex didn't carry the same weight as his feelings of rejection. I am fortunate that it doesn't hurt, I just don't wanna. We have done the deed now almost every night for a week and a half. Honestly, things have been great. Even if the act itself isn't the mind blowing sex I am used to, the connection and contentment it brings him fills my cup too. If you can swing it I say do it. If you have valid reasons for not doing it, focus on the end goal. There is a baby... And you will sex again.

bethanylynn456 · June 2015

Honestly I just consider myself lucky that my husband still finds me attractive after gaining 23 pounds and waddling around the house wearing his old sweatshirt : )

AziaNick · June 2015

lizh62288 said:
Meh we makeout and cuddle. And I give a good amount of bj's which I feel is very nice haha but sex just hurts so bad.

I had to stop giving bjs because it would make me throw up or get naseous haha you go girl, I give you props haha

balisticbritt · June 2015

In my opinion I think he should be more considerate of your needs. Yeah I know it sucks that he's not getting his needs but is he really still going to enjoy it if you're not and you're miserable the whole time? I know that when I am uncomfortable my fiancé feels bad and we will either stop or change positions. He takes it more easy as well.

cmorden1114 · June 2015

DH and I have this problem too, I'm also 32 weeks. He and I both have high sex drives normally, like 3x a day before baby lol but lately I'm just not really intrested, and it's uncomfortable for me most of the time. I do it sometimes just because I like the closeness I feel while we have sex and I know how much it means to him. I try to do other things to let him know I still love and am attracted to him, like cooking his favorite meal, or one thing we do is shower together almost every day. It's intimate because were naked together, wash eachother, and take time to appricate one another without it being sexual .

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