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How do you "just let it happen"?

JennyB89JennyB89 member
in Infertility
Another friend is pregnant. Got pregnant literally their first time having sex. Yet here I am, seven months into it and nothing. I know they say don't compare yourself to anyone else, but its so hard when I am doing all the "right" things (eating well, exercising, tracking my cycles, I don't drink any caffeine or alcohol) while she probably didn't give any type of thought to any of these things (very overweight, several health issues, they both drink regularly, no exercise, eats fast food several times a week, etc). Why should I continue to be so strict and rigid with myself when obviously it's unnecessary?? 

Just wondering how you all have dealt with these feelings of sadness and depression? How do I go about "just relaxing and letting it happen"?
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Re: How do you "just let it happen"?

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    jnissajnissa member
    Well, firstly, keep in mind that seven months is nothing. It can take a healthy couple a year to conceive. You are still just at the first step! Keep your chin up!

    TBH, I'm not a big fan of the super strict fertility scenarios with no alcohol, no caffeine, perfect diets, etc. I don't overdo it, but I do all of those things because you don't need to suffer to get pregnant (until you perhaps get diagnosed with a significant fertility issue). All it will do is stress you out unnecessarily. At the end of the day, while being healthy over all helps you get pregnant and have a successful pregnancy, it's about one egg meeting one sperm. And if you're correctly timing your cycles you're doing everything you can to control that.

    If you do get to a year and it hasn't happened, go directly to an RE. But for now, what you're experiencing is completely normal. Most people do not get pregnant on their first tries. 

    Also, keep in mind that this is a journey and be open to the idea that yours may be longer. It doesn't make you flawed. 
    Me: 41, DH 38, Diagnosis DOR
    Started TTC 12/2013
    First Trip to RE: 11/2014
    IVF Round 1: 2/2014 - BFP
    DD Born 11/9/2014
    TTC a Sibling Started 5/2015
    First IVF Round 8/15 - BFN
    Taking a break to go on vacation + enjoy the holidays before FET and/or another IVF round in 2016!

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    nickis32nickis32 member
    I agree with jnissa. Please understand that infertility is a disease that does not just go away with relaxing. It is a medical condition. Suggesting that couples struggling with infertility just relax and let it happen implies that they have control over their fertility and that somehow their infertility is their fault.
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