Why Bother? - Page 2 — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

Why Bother?

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Re: Why Bother?

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  • sschwege said:


    KyNo0405 said:

    I totally agree!!!!! I just had a shower 3 weeks ago and I had $200 worth of gifts that people bought that I didbt register for... i know hmthe value, only because I returned everything thst I got that I didbt want!!!! I registered for things for a reason, I researched them and decided they are the best items for us and our baby, so I registered for them. Yes, a registry isn't s must buy me this list... but I think it's rude when people know about my registry, go to the store I'm registered at and then they don't buy me what I asked for, what I need! OP hopefully you can return the items that you get that you didn't want!...it's a pain but still fun to go shopping afterward for what you really need!!!

    Rude? Rude?  Are you honestly listening to yourself right now?  So rude of people to take time out of their day, go to a party in your honor and buy your unborn baby a gift.  How do these people live with themselves?! 


    If it's so much time and commitment for them to come to my shower then they shouldn't come! Simple as that... if you're going to attend the shower, then come, it's not an obligation nor is bringing me a gift but if you're going to come to the shower, then at least buy what ice requested! I don't think I'm rude... it's my opinion, we're all entitled to them. I personally love buying gifts for people off their registry whether it be baby or shower... because guess what?! It saves me having to waste my time or money buying them a gift they don't want. If its on the registry chances are they want it!
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  • We're actually having the same issue with our BRU registry. I bought 3 things and only 1 shows purchased
  • Don't fret dear. Honestly a lot of people just don't hand over the registry at check out. So you will probably notice you get a lot of the items you did ask for. I feel your frustration especially if people are constantly asking.
    HarleenQuinz86
  • sschwege said:


    KyNo0405 said:

    sschwege said:


    KyNo0405 said:

    I totally agree!!!!! I just had a shower 3 weeks ago and I had $200 worth of gifts that people bought that I didbt register for... i know hmthe value, only because I returned everything thst I got that I didbt want!!!! I registered for things for a reason, I researched them and decided they are the best items for us and our baby, so I registered for them. Yes, a registry isn't s must buy me this list... but I think it's rude when people know about my registry, go to the store I'm registered at and then they don't buy me what I asked for, what I need! OP hopefully you can return the items that you get that you didn't want!...it's a pain but still fun to go shopping afterward for what you really need!!!

    Rude? Rude?  Are you honestly listening to yourself right now?  So rude of people to take time out of their day, go to a party in your honor and buy your unborn baby a gift.  How do these people live with themselves?! 
    If it's so much time and commitment for them to come to my shower then they shouldn't come! Simple as that... if you're going to attend the shower, then come, it's not an obligation nor is bringing me a gift but if you're going to come to the shower, then at least buy what ice requested! I don't think I'm rude... it's my opinion, we're all entitled to them. I personally love buying gifts for people off their registry whether it be baby or shower... because guess what?! It saves me having to waste my time or money buying them a gift they don't want. If its on the registry chances are they want it!

    I didn't call you 'rude' so get yourself together.  You are entitled to your opinion and everyone who responds to you is entitled to theirs so I'm not quite sure what your point is here...

    Guess what some of the best gifts we received were not on our registry.  A hand-made quilt a hand-made crocheted blanket, but I guess those people should 'at least buy what ice (sic) requested'.  From one guest we received a Woombie, it's a swaddling device I had never seen/heard of.  DD went from sleeping only 1.5 hours at night to sleeping 4-6 hour stretches in it.  I used to joke that if my house was burning down that's what I would save.  Damn them for not shopping my registry and helping a very tired mama to get some much needed sleep!


    I'm actually quite together, but thanks for suggesting it?!... im not saying that the quilt we received wasn't lovely. It matches the nursery and I do think it was a lovely gift! I guess I would say a heartfelt handmade gift such as a quilt ect is the exception to my registry rule. That's a sweet gesture not an ignorant one.

    I don't appreciate people buying me toys and teethers that they just picked out "because they liked it". I didn't register for those things because I want to pick them out with my LO when the time comes to need those items. I don't appreciate different people buying 3 of the same outfit because it's gender neutral and has a giraffe on it (we're not finding out gender, shower theme was giraffes)...

    My registry includes the items that I feel are the best for me and my LO. I spent hours researching the items I've chosen and I don't need somebody to give me something because they liked it. I didn't register for it because I didn't want that item. If you like getting random things that you didn't ask for or want, that's good for you! I feel differently about it.

    I agree with OP with the original point... if people don't buy off of the registry then what is the point of registering at all?!

  • It's pretty common for people to pick up a shower gift the day of the shower in my area. So you never know. Also registries aren't for everyone, a lot of people just like to buy cute clothes. Hopefully you get gift receipts from off registry buyers. :)

    I had a cousin comment that I wouldn't use most of the stuff on my registry so she refused and encouraged others not to bother with it. Thankfully the choices I made were things we could purchase for our baby ourselves. And that is exactly what we did with the completion discount. The gifts at the shower were mostly clothes and diapers which we greatly appreciated.

  • I got mostly stuff off my registry from my shower--for a couple reasons: 

    1) I didn't add clothes, because I don't personally enjoy having to hunt down a SPECIFIC clothing item.  I got a ton--which is awesome because I have tons of various sizes from birth to two years. Having a girl especially--I LOVE shopping for girls.  

    2)  People just didn't mark stuff from the registry when they bought it or they got a cuter version of it.  If people find a pacifier that they like, they won't look for the "minnie mouse pacifier with green dots and red lines".  They will just get you the pacifier they like.

    3)  So many amazing, wonderful, handmade blankets and things.  So thankful I'll be able pass these on and tell them who bought them.

    Yeah I have to go and buy some breastfeeding stuff, a bedding set, diaper bag, etc...but I got SO much stuff that people thoughtfully picked out.  I'm thankful.  

    (Caveat: Not so thankful for the girl that gave me shoes with mud on the bottom that belonged to her daughter--this is after she complained I gave her only a $50 gift last year for her shower *eye roll)
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited May 2015
    KyNo0405 said:

    KyNo0405 said:

    Yes, a registry isn't s must buy me this list... but I think it's rude when people know about my registry, go to the store I'm registered at and then they don't buy me what I asked for...

    Wow. I never thought that people taking their time to go to a store (when they could be doing something else they'd rather do) and spend their money (that they could have spent on something for themselves) on something they thought would be nice for my child could ever be rude.


    Well i feel, the People who have better things to do and better things to spend their money on shouldn't come to my shower then! Theyre not obligated to go or bting a gift, so say NO! I've been to showers for everybody that we've invited to the shower as they're either family or good friends, and I've given them gifts off their registry. It's what you do. So if somebody feels they don't want to attend then they shouldn't. My point, which you seemed to miss - was if you are at babies r us shopping for a shower gift for me, why wouldn't you make it easier on both of us and buy me something you know that I want? It's a waste of my time to need to go back to the store to return items only to rebuy what I wanted!
    Oh okay, I completely see your point now (and after reading your other responses). Yeah, that's cool. Basically you're just saying, "Buy me what I tell you or don't bother buying anything at all. Or even coming!" Yeah, that's not entitled sounding at all and seems to be a very gracious attitude to have. Those people who don't buy you what you want are totally the rude ones. Jerks. [-(

    ETA: I just wanted to make sure you understand that was all said with a sarcastic tone. I wouldn't want you misreading that...
    Miz_Lizprincesslocknessbeeishcg0112358
  • OP, I don't think it was your intention to sound entitled (pregnancy hormones have done crazy things to me on a few occasions, too) but this is definitely a "first world problem" complaint. Baby showers are gifts and the presents given at showers are just that, presents. Yes, you spent your time creating a list of things that you needed for your baby but a baby registry is not a shopping list for guests. It isn't as if you're sending them to the grocery store to pick up a few things, they are choosing to get you gifts, with their own money (this alone gives them the right to get whatever they would like).

    I had one shower already and about 2/3 of the things I got were not on my registry but everything was great and I truly appreciated each thing. The idea that someone would take the time out of their day to come to a baby shower in honor of me and my little guy is a present in and of itself. Yes, there are plenty of things on my registry that I need but, if I didn't get a single one, I would be completely fine with that. DH and I decided to have this baby so we are responsible for making sure he has everything he needs. This is our first so, yes, we are starting from scratch. Hand me downs have been lifesavers (& major money savers).

    Advice, stop checking your registry and enjoy all the wonderful things that your friends and family get you. You're focusing on the wrong things. Take a breath (maybe get some ice cream) and enjoy these last few months until you meet your baby!
    hjphillipskboston90irohspupil
  • Wooooow, this thing is getting way out of hand! I had a weak moment, got pouty, and let my hormones get the better of me and needed a second to vent about it! Any way to just delete and entire post? Today is a new day and there are bigger fish to fry than worrying about a silly registry! Alot of you are so right, it's no biggie and I should just chill and then some were just down right rude, but that'll happen in a public forum. Let's move on :)
    tarheelgirl8kjanderickaBaby2HG
  • gmd88gmd88 member
    I hear ya. Very little gas been bought off of ours and it does frustrate me whether its justified or not. I think it bugs me because I would buy off someone's registry if the case were reversed... It is what it is. People like to buy cutesy stuff that they pick out. I would buy off a registry because it focuses on the person receiving the gift and what THEY want, not what I want to buy. None the less I'm grateful for whatever I will be getting next week. Think being frightened by all that we still really need for the baby is taking over.. And you can't really buy it early because you have to wait for the shower. Agh. Anyway - I hear ya. And yes its unpopular. Maybe save or for FFFC next time ;)
    KaylaLovesNoahmissmychard
  • edited June 2015
    I also used the registries more as a list for myself to buy than a "please get me these items" list. People definitely wait until the last minute to buy shower gifts. I know I usually buy them the week of or even the day of depending on what time I have to get to the store. One of my registries is on Amazon so I'm fully expecting a lot of that to not be purchased, which is completely fine with me. I chose to do Amazon because we get a 15% completion discount for being signed up with Amazon Mom. It also has way more variety and a lot of great reviews to read if you aren't familiar with the different products that are available.

    Edit: because I can't spell.
    BabyFetus Ticker

     

  • WHY are there people out there spending hours and days researching baby items????? This isn't rocket science people, a graco car seat isn't going to work worse than a peg perrigo. This is all just so friggin ridiculous

    Omg yes!!! And guess what all the research and your kid may like a different item better. People seriously over think it. And yes my favorite baby item wasn't on the registry. I'm ask glad we got a hand me down swing as I would have hated to been gifted it or spent money on it as my daughter didn't care for it. Maybe it's different as I'm a stm, but seriously you get over hand me downs pretty quick...
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    CaliforniaDream87Miz_Lizemmacake08
  • most people don't buy gifts until the day of or the day before.  also many times they do not have the item removed from the registry, so be prepared for duplicate items.  I remember for my wedding I got 9 duplicates of the same exact item (pyrex bowl set, anyone?).  I prepared my registry more as a shopping list for myself and they are all items that I wouldn't be upset to have to shell out the money for.  If someone buys off of it, great.  Otherwise I just plan to go buy the rest of the items that I need as the baby gets closer.

  • I'm not going to obsess over my registry. In fact, most of it was oh this is cute, but if someone finds something else, I'm not going to even care. And I don't see myself returning something unless it would be clothes and she grows too fast. The only things I'm particular about are the stroller and the high chair, which are on there for me to get the discount.
    I even told my MIL today that I didn't put clothes on the registry as I know people want to pick those out and get what they want anyways.
  • Keep in mind that maybe they have bought items on your list, but from a different store :)
    I had that happen, but then found that I didn't even need some of it and had to take stuff back to exchange. Try not to fret Mama, soon all that will matter is the little miracle you get to hold in your arms
  • Well I will have to agree with most of the pp's.. having a registry is a list of things you want to buy for your baby.. And when I had a baby shower with my first pregnancy I had people buy me things from the registry and some not. I was so grateful to get anything! We had twins my first pregnancy 6 1/2 years ago & we bought all of our big items on our own. Our babies.. our responsibility. Anything anyone gave us was a bonus! Be grateful for what you get because people don't have to buy you anything!
    sschwege
  • This thread makes me kind of glad baby shower registries are not a 'thing' in Australia. I was happy with what I got given at my (small) baby shower. And furnished DD's entire nursery with hand me downs. All of which I was, and still am, incredibly grateful for :)
    CaliforniaDream87fionalouise007
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