Community› The Bump Month Clubs› August 2015 Moms
August 2015 Moms
New Discussion
Options

MIL and Stroller

evolala13evolala13 member
in August 2015 Moms
Ladies. I do not know if this is my hormone level being through the roof or a mixture of stress or what have you, in any event I have my registry set up and everything. I picked out a Recaro Stroller , Recaro infant seat, etc. I did my research and I am happy with my decision, hence why it is on my registry. My MIL bought a crib and stoller for her and my FIL to keep at their home. They picked some stroller that is a 3 in 1 or whatever and they continually try to convince me to purchase the same. I just received ANOTHER text asking if she can bring me to Babies r us to  convince me to get it. I DO NOT WANT IT. I have stated that, and said thank you for checking into it, etc. but we are happy with the stroller we have picked out. Yet I still get these texts. I believe it is because they want to purchase the stroller for us.

I do NOT want drama and this is really stressing me out. I am not a b*tch by nature and usually like to respond with sugar rather than vinegar if you know what I mean. I am just seeking opinions from you ladies maybe you have an easier way for me to respond where it does not hurt her feelings but also tells it again, straight up, I do not want that one.

Thanks in advance
Report Reply to Post

Re: MIL and Stroller

  • Options
    Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    I agree, DH needs to step up and talk to them at this point.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    evolala13evolala13 member
    I agree with you BOTH, however he is opting to stay out of it and says whatever I want to do and is not hearing me out when I say it is stressing me out. I think it is overwhelming to him as well. He considers this "my thing" ...


    Report Reply
  • Options
    Perfect SonnetPerfect Sonnet member
    evolala13 said:
    I agree with you BOTH, however he is opting to stay out of it and says whatever I want to do and is not hearing me out when I say it is stressing me out. I think it is overwhelming to him as well. He considers this "my thing" ...

    Honestly I don't think he should have the choice to opt out.  Like I said, they're *his* parents.  If anything it is more his thing than yours for this reason.  Ugh, good luck.  I feel your pain.  That would really annoy me too.


     

    Report Reply
  • Options
    evolala13evolala13 member
    Thank you ladies. I appreciate the empathy. Seems like I have to come here to get it. UGH. 

    ChristyM87 said:
    I agree with you BOTH, however he is opting to stay out of it and says whatever I want to do and is not hearing me out when I say it is stressing me out. I think it is overwhelming to him as well. He considers this "my thing" ...


    Parenthood and the decisions related aren't your thing or my thing. It is a partnership. You will continue to have issues down the road if he doesn't see this

    -Any ideas as to how to inform him of this. Sometimes I feel there is no talking to him or he is just mentally 15...

    Report Reply
  • Options
    emmacake08emmacake08 member
    Usually if DH is being this clueless and I'm that hormonal and pissy I'll just spell it out in really blunt terms (and since I'm never that way, he usually gets it). For this I would say "your parents won't so stop bitching to me about a frigging car seat and I'm about to trow my phone against the wall if they text one more time. Make them knock it off!"
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    evolala13evolala13 member
    I am going to have to do both suggestions. I really need his help and it should not be just me!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    SaratiffSaratiff member
    This makes me so happy I have passive non confrontational mother in law. My personality completely dominates her's. I would tell hubs to man up and talk to his mother or it will not be very pleasant for him moving forward. Not threat just a promise. If that means buying me a new phone or potentially making things awkward with his mother. He should have a vested interest in making this work.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jlsweetsjlsweets member
    emmacake08 said:
    Usually if DH is being this clueless and I'm that hormonal and pissy I'll just spell it out in really blunt terms (and since I'm never that way, he usually gets it). For this I would say "your parents won't so stop bitching to me about a frigging car seat and I'm about to trow my phone against the wall if they text one more time. Make them knock it off!"
    I agree with this- sometimes that is what it takes for certain men. My MIL was like this when I was pregnant with my first. I tried to deal with it myself as nicely and calmly as possible but when it wouldn't end I needed my husband to be the one to put a stop to it. He did and thankfully it stopped and she was respectful of our decisions and not pushy at all. Without him stepping in I don't think our relationship would ever be right.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    Report Reply
  • Options
    mtxomtxo member
    Just tell them thank you so much for trying to help, but I'm really set on this one. I have the same thing with my step mil who tries to get me a cheaper car seat, than the one I chose (maxi cozy ) and I feel it'd be rude of me to tell her to back the f*** off, I can afford it myself. So annoying.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kedbachkedbach member
    We actually opted for a different stroller and car seat than we originally picked- my In-laws gifted it to us though, so that's a little different I guess! We love it!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    SassetteSmurflingSassetteSmurfling member
    Anytime I ask DH to address something with his parents and he doesn't do it in a timely fashion, I just tell him that if he isn't going to handle it, I will, and if I do it it's not going to be nice. That usually gets him moving.

    I have no problem being a bitch to my in laws. I mean I always try to be nice first, but if being nice doesn't get the point across ill step it up a notch.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Starynightsky24Starynightsky24 member
    Have you told her your reasoning as to why you don't want it? I'd just tell her flat out "we picked this bc xyz fits our lifestyle better."

    Then if she continues to bug you as PP mentioned, have DH handle it. Make him do it. I'd be bratty and just flat out say "next time my dad has an issue I'll be sure to tell you it's "your thing". Did you forget these are YOUR parents!?!"

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    evolala13evolala13 member
    SassetteSmurfling said:
    Anytime I ask DH to address something with his parents and he doesn't do it in a timely fashion, I just tell him that if he isn't going to handle it, I will, and if I do it it's not going to be nice. That usually gets him moving. I have no problem being a bitch to my in laws. I mean I always try to be nice first, but if being nice doesn't get the point across ill step it up a notch.
    I wish I could deep down it wants to come out but I always just take the passive aggressive p***y route. ugh.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ElleMF728ElleMF728 member
    edited May 2015
    I guess that I'm the odd man out on this one.  It doesn't seem like a big enough deal to dig in your heels about.  I don't know your living situation or how inconvenient it is to get together with your MIL but I would probably just go and check out the 3 in 1 travel system.  If you still prefer the one you chose you could explain why her stroller wouldn't work for you or why you like your choice better. Maybe she is right and you will change your mind...either way it can't really hurt, can it?  

    This is unless you are just too busy to get together or live far apart or something obviously.  I'm saying this assuming that she is close to you and the whole trip would only take an hour or two of your time. However, if she still won't drop it after that I would have DH to handle her. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JNOVA2015JNOVA2015 member
    ElleMF728 said:

    I guess that I'm the odd man out on this one.  It doesn't seem like a big enough deal to dig in your heels about.  I don't know your living situation or how inconvenient it is to get together with your MIL but I would probably just go and check out the 3 in 1 travel system.  If you still prefer the one you chose you could explain why her stroller wouldn't work for you or why you like your choice better. Maybe she is right and you will change your mind...either way it can't really hurt, can it?  


    This is unless you are just too busy to get together or live far apart or something obviously.  I'm saying this assuming that she is close to you and the whole trip would only take an hour or two of your time. However, if she still won't drop it after that I would have DH to handle her. 
    I agree with this. Is it that big of a deal to just humor her? Maybe if they have the stroller YOU want you can also show it to her and explain why you like it better.

    What is her objection to your stroller, just out of curiosity? Is it a safety thing, or just that she likes the look of what she got? Is one much more expensive than the other?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    johannaspisakjohannaspisak member
    given her persistence,I get the feeling that she's wanting to have a "matching/twinsy" thing going on. Or they've already purchased it for you, and now she's got to talk you into it. Either way, it's about time for DH to step in.
    My GIL can be pushy sometimes, and husband always tries to get me to make excuses for us not visiting, etc. I've mostly gotten him out of this habit, because I actually respect her to much to fib to her. I've told him "fine, I'll speak with her, but I'm not lying for you". He usually talks to her at that point and comes clean.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    abbybaby19abbybaby19 member
    I dont get why it matters so much that you have the same stroller as her. Youre the one whos going to use it. If shes so in love with the stroller she bought then thats awesome because she gets to use it whenever she wants. I dont get why she wants you to change your mind so much but maybe thats just me.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    PixelPosyPixelPosy member
    Is she going to be babysitting your baby a lot? Why does she need her own stroller and crib in the first place?

    I agree with the PP stating just humor her and check the thing out. And have her check out the one you plan to buy, since strollers excite her so much. Maybe you will get the real reason out of her that she's being nuts over this one piece of baby equipment.

    We returned a swing DH's stepmom bought us because we liked our choice better. Ours was much more expensive and I completely understand nor expected anyone to gift us it. Like you I had done the research and knew which one I wanted. You are the one that gets to use it daily, buy yourself what you want.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    beeishbeeish member
    edited May 2015
    I would just tell my MIL that we have already purchased the other stroller online but I appreciate the offer. If she happens to asks when it's coming in id just give her the day I plan on purchasing it and that's it. Just the old thank you but it's taken care of PERIOD

    Edited for typo.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    KyNo0405KyNo0405 member
    Long story short... my MIL and SIL'S MIL bought my neice her nursery furniture. I guess my MIL thought she and my mom would do the same for me...but, my family has a different tradition. My gma, great gma and great aunt bought my nursery set for me - so my baby's gma, great gma and great aunt did the same for my LO. My mom did call my MIL to see if she wanted to go in and they could get the nightstand for our nursery; but MIL never responded. MIL was clearly bent out of shape that she didnt buy any furniture kept trying to get a rocker for us, which I didn't want. At my shower 2 weeks ago... she gave us c a corner unit book shelf (that I didn't want ask for, ect) now it's in the nursery (where she put it after my shower) and doesn't match the color or style of crib and dresser. Im.so. pissed!!! I wish she wouldve bought the nightstand we needed! And not some random piece! Sooo annoying!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    keetlebeetlekeetlebeetle member
    Consider yourself lucky that your MIL bought new items to use for your baby! Mine is a pack rat and has saved everything from when she had her kids in the late 80s and early 90s. She wants my baby to sit in a 20+ year old stroller and a 30 year old high chair that hooks on the table. Not to mention the 30 year old play pen. I guess it's a sweet gesture but it terrifies me! Safety standards were not the same back then...
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ElleMF728ElleMF728 member
    april42007 said:
    I guess that I'm the odd man out on this one.  It doesn't seem like a big enough deal to dig in your heels about.  I don't know your living situation or how inconvenient it is to get together with your MIL but I would probably just go and check out the 3 in 1 travel system.  If you still prefer the one you chose you could explain why her stroller wouldn't work for you or why you like your choice better. Maybe she is right and you will change your mind...either way it can't really hurt, can it?  

    This is unless you are just too busy to get together or live far apart or something obviously.  I'm saying this assuming that she is close to you and the whole trip would only take an hour or two of your time. However, if she still won't drop it after that I would have DH to handle her. 
    I tend to disagree with this. You chose a stroller and you do not have to justify why you've chosen it. You don't need to humor her by looking at the stroller she thinks is better. I tend to see this as a potential power play. She knows better than you do and wants to prove this to you. It's a stroller today but tomorrow it's something bigger. I think you need to establish youself as the decision maker for your baby. Not that you don't welcome the occasional input but that once you've done your research and made the right decision for your family, it's final.
    I'm not really sure that I disagree with you in theory but I think it depends on the OP's personal situation.  If her MIL is the type of person to make a "power play" then I completely agree about establishing herself as the decision maker now to avoid having to do so in the future.  

    I just think that occasionally we moms can be a little sensitive to things like this and what may seem like a power play is actually just a BTDT mom hoping to give some practical advice.  My mother gives me a ton of tips for DS but that doesn't make she is making the decisions. I usually listen to what she has to say and then choose what works best for our family.  I just wonder if OP's MIL may actually have a good perspective or real life experience that could help OP make an even better informed decision.

    I know if I could redo my registry from DS I would have made a few different choices knowing what I know now.  


    Report Reply
  • Options
    lifesabeach85lifesabeach85 member
    keetlebeetle said:

    Consider yourself lucky that your MIL bought new items to use for your baby! Mine is a pack rat and has saved everything from when she had her kids in the late 80s and early 90s. She wants my baby to sit in a 20+ year old stroller and a 30 year old high chair that hooks on the table. Not to mention the 30 year old play pen. I guess it's a sweet gesture but it terrifies me! Safety standards were not the same back then...

    Sounds like my MIL! Her oldest children's children used the old old old crib but luckily one of my SIL (dh comes from a big family) had a baby last year and got her to get rid of it!

    Just say no to old, unsafe gear. Just say no to hoarding in general.


    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"