Found out gender....bf is a jerk.

bbsweet · June 2015

So today was supposed to be such a happy day. My boyfriend and I went to our appointment so excited and we found out the gender! Baby girl! ♡ only thing is...my boyfriend is extremely unhappy about it...he made me feel terrible. 'How is he supposed to do anything with her' he says. He can't do nails or make up or hair. Apperently he can't teach her how to fish either which is ridiculous because I love fishing. I feel so sad. So hurt. I got him to drop me off after and now he won't talk to me. I'm really feeling lost and hurt.

VexyMommy · June 2015

That is pretty shitty of him, but give him time and he'll figure it out. Also, it's his fault. If he wants to continue being a brat about it you could explain to him that males determine a child's sex so he can go kick himself for the fact that a girl was the fastest swimmer in his pool.

Edit: Pulled a stupid and fixed it. The males determine a child's sex and not their gender. Sex = biological, Gender = sociocultural.

Edit 2: Part of the reason using the correct words to describe something is so important is because it's contagious. We use the language we're surrounded by unless thinking very specifically about a topic. I responded offhand and used the wrong word because it was used above and I'm typically pretty good about it. Someone new to the issue is even more easily dissuaded from using the correct terminology if it's not used consistently.

TacoSarah · June 2015

That sucks, just give him time to come around. He's probably scared because he doesn't know how to relate to a girl. He'll figure it out and when she arrives he'll be wrapped around her little finger and be doing glitter and princess crap before he knows it. And enjoying it!

riott1977 · June 2015

I am so sorry to hear it. Hopefully he will come around in time and I am sure your little girl will love learning things like fishing with him. Give him a little time, but he'll likely end up being very happy he had a little girl.

And VexyMommy is right, the males do determine the gender.

Good Luck.

kmd91 · June 2015

Give him a little time to process things. I know it sucks, but it does seem relatively common for men to be worried about being unable to connect with a daughter. Usually once they have time to process things they tend to see the potential for a daddy's little girl.

ash413 · June 2015

riott1977 said:
I am so sorry to hear it. Hopefully he will come around in time and I am sure your little girl will love learning things like fishing with him. Give him a little time, but he'll likely end up being very happy he had a little girl.

And VexyMommy is right, the males do determine the gender.

Good Luck.

The father determines SEX, they will find out the child's gender in a few years.

I guess I'm not really understanding why he is acting this way. Did he not get the memo that it is a 50/50 chance.

amberrmariee20 · June 2015

Lurking from another board ....
But my son is 3 and he's such a mommys boy, he would rather be with me and do stuff with me then his dad.. He's my sook. And when I was a little girl I used to love going fishing with my daddy, and on his boat. I was such a daddy's girl and I still am !!

belladonna115 · June 2015

I'm sorry he was such a jerk. I agree with the ladies. Give him time. By the time she's here, I bet he'll be wrapped around her finger.

Ceridwen77 · June 2015

I'm sure he will come around. I am a complete daddy's girl and did all the "boy" stuff as a child since he never had any sons. It was great.

cbolton19 · June 2015

He'll come around, and most likely she will have him wrapped around her little finger. And just because she is a girl, doesn't mean she won't want to do 'boy' things. I helped my dad fix the roof when I was little (a couple of times actually!) and went shooting with him. He has the opportunity to teach this little girl all the stuff he knows, and she'll think it's great, because it's with her dad!

Edit: spelling

snlyon0614 · June 2015

My father and I are much closer than my brother and he.

I ride motorcycles, fish, mud bogg, shoot, hunt...and I love to get my nails and hair did. Girls have fun personalities too!

My father once told me that I was the most masculine of all his sons and feminine of all his daughters. A father's active influence is key!

KeHill08 · June 2015

That's quite frustrating! Just because you're having a girl doesn't mean she won't want to do "boy" things. My dad would wrestle around with my sister and I and took us fishing and we loved it! We would go to work with him sometimes and sit at the job site (he is a contractor) and play in a bunch of dirt with tools. I'm even more capable of fixing things and putting things together than my husband because we spent so much time with my dad doing that sort of stuff! My great aunt and great uncle babysat us for a while and when my mom came to pick us up one day, our aunt told her "uncle and I were talking, and you don't need to have a boy, you have Kiley" (my sister). She could turn out to be a tomboy just like her! Both are equally as fun. He will come around. You could try pointing out to him that you're getting exactly what you both want, a healthy baby! After all, that's the big thing- that your little one is healthy!

MargaretC5 · June 2015

As PPS have said I would give him time. If he does not start to come around do you have any friends or family with daughters where he could take to the dad about what it is like to have a daughter?

bbsweet · June 2015

Thanks ladies. I completely agree! I loved doing things with my dad and I looked up to him so much. It's frustrating that he is being like this, I feel like it's so selfish of him. No hug, no kiss just complete disappoint from him. It really made me feel bad. I told him all long I knew she was a girl too. That I just knew it. It's upsetting that I feel like I can't even celebrate because he is so upset by it. I've given him a few hours now and be says he's not coming to the reveal...at his family's! I just don't know if I should be supportive and try to comfort him or tell him to wake the heck up we have a healthy baby and he shouldn't be so selfish!!!

ooooner · June 2015

Might I ask how old your boyfriend is? Honestly he sounds about 12 by his reaction to the sex.

bbsweet · June 2015

Yeah. He's acting like it. He's 22, I'm 24.

cbolton19 · June 2015

He sure is going to miss out on a lot if he thinks he can't do anything with his child because she is a girl. Let him stew, if you are excited, be excited! Go to the reveal, I'm sure it will be fun! You are going to have a beautiful little baby soon. He can go sulk, but I hope at some point (it may be a while) he realizes how dumb he is being.

caitlin1784 · June 2015

Sorry he reacted that way! As much as we Avoid topic gender disappointment is a common thing but hopefully he pulls his head in and realises a) he determined the sex with his swimmers and b) it's not your fault or your child's what sex it becomes. My SO wants a boy (they all do) but won't be upset if it's a girl because he knows I won't raise a girly girl anyway- I was always out on the farm driving cars or helping my dad on the tools doing mechanics and I love the idea of our child doing the same no matter what the sex. He'll come around and I he doesn't his loss

VexyMommy · June 2015

Let him work it out for himself and let him explain his spoiled brat behavior to his family if he doesn't show at the party.

Gapeach83 · June 2015

Tell my DD1 that girls aren't supposed to go fishing she constantly begs DH to go. She also likes skateboarding and hot rods just like her daddy.

thegingeravenger · June 2015

I would explain to him that growing in you is a blank slate of a human being. Eventually she'll grow her own personality and her own interests and hobbies, but until then…both you and him can shape who she is. You can encourage a wide variety of interests to explore, not just that girls play dress-up and boys play with trucks. Her being a biological female has nothing to do with her liking or not liking certain things.

Elyse1384 · June 2015

Like everyone has said, hopefully he will come around and stop being so immature about this. I was/am such a daddy's girl (a major tom boy even) and loved the time he and I spent together. He taught me everything about sports which I am passionate about to this day. He taught me how to believe in myself and never let a man tell me that I'm inferior or not good enough. He taught me how to cast a fishing line, change a tire, throw a right hook (only for self defense of course!) and fight for what I believe in. I loved learning all of these things and an infinite amount more from him. I'm sure your SO will have a lot to offer you daughter once he pulls his head out of his [ahem]. Here is to a healthy pregnancy and baby girl for you!

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