New worries and anxiety for the week.

JessHeppell · May 2015

the other one is getting old. (i made sure to check, the week is over)
and i thought this was a very good thread topic.

ive been talking to my sister lately and things with DH have been quite rocky also..
my sister said that having a baby makes things worse/more comlicated.. and honestly with the way things are going lately i fear that the baby will cause things to fall apart between me and DH im really worried and i definitely dont want that to happen.. it just sucks and now i feel even more emotional that i did before..

rodriyessi94 · May 2015

It's not he baby's fault, yall just have to communicate and work out!!!

rrcameron21 · May 2015

My fiancé thinks the baby will solve everything!! It's causing me so much stress. He doesn't understand how hard it's going to be. I'm excited for reality to punch him in the face.

karaelaine1991 · May 2015

I'm so anxious that this baby is going to decide to come while FIL is here. He's got a very difficult personality and was not pleased when DH told him we want a few hours to ourselves following LO's arrival before we start getting visitors at the hospital and started a rumor that we didn't want ANY visitors at the hospital, which made my MIL call us in a panic (they're divorced and rarely talk but apparently they talked about this!), and now he's here for the weekend (well, the plan is for him to only be here today, but OF COURSE the jeep wouldn't start when DH tried to jump it last night after it's been sitting in our parking lot collecting dust for almost six months). So now I'm lying awake at 5AM panicking that FIL will be here longer than expected and I'm going to go into labor while he's here, which personally I think he's probably hoping for anyway.

Wahh. I'm feeling very sorry for myself tonight. Poor DH. I need an attitude readjustment.

ElRuby · May 2015

I am worrying about everything... I find distractions are my most helpful tool in dealing with them because there is really nothing else I can do it to ease the worries....

upandbelow · May 2015

I'm worried that I haven't bonded with this pregnancy and could be headed down the road of PPD. My OB and I talked about this earlier and suggested that my anxiety attacks were a manifestation of PPD so I know it's a possibility. The reason this Particular anxiety came up though is b/c DH and I were out for dinner and he finally shared his fear that something is going to happen to me during L&D. We talked about how the risks were low, but he asked the inevitable question 'if things went sideways, who would you want to save, yourself or the baby?' And followed it up with 'because I'd want to save you, we can always try for more kids, but there's only one of you and I wouldn't want to do this without you.' I know the answer I should have given him was 'save the baby' but my honest answer - though I didn't say it out loud - was me...save me.

KarasTwin · May 2015

I've posted about this in the past, but it's getting real now. DH has class for work Monday through Thursday the 2 weeks before and the week of EDD. It's about an hour and a half away with no traffic, but in traffic (through Atlanta) it could take much longer. He's technically not allowed to miss at all and if he has to leave they expect him to come in early/stay late to make up. I'm praying LO stays put till his DD. I'm also really anxious about being alone while he's gone. MIL said I could come stay with them or her or SIL could come stay with me, but in all honesty I don't think I'm going to want to be around other people. I really feel for you ladies with husbands in the military. I guess if he comes early we can hope it's on the weekend, but I don't think DH realizes how hard it's going to be for him to leave us, regardless of my mom coming to stay or his family helping out. I know he's going to want to be with us.

anissa13588 · May 2015

So for the last 2 weeks I have been having really bad contractions and I dilated to 3cm and 90% enfaced than all of a sudden the past 2 days I havnt had any contractions or pain at all which has DH worried he has his sister watching over me and not letting me do anything than I have everyone expecting I am going to go into labor than be all happy and cheerful and ready to see people right after and I told DH I want like a day to keep her all to our self and he says I have to share our daughter so now I am worried that I won't get the time to connect with her

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2015

upandbelow said:
I know the answer I should have given him was 'save the baby' but my honest answer - though I didn't say it out loud - was me...save me.

That is my answer, too. And my DH's. I feel no guilt or need to apologize for that, and obviously it doesn't mean you don't value your baby's life.

It is Jewish law to save the mother over the child (until the baby is outside the womb, then they are considered equals). That is perhaps not relevant to you personally, but I myself find it comforting.

KaLikeAWind · May 2015

So many valid concerns here. A lot of you ladies are talking about things that I am also stressing about

@JessHeppell DH and are under a lot of stress with his career. I saw your other post and sympathize. I wonder about how we will do with the stress of a baby, but I'm sure you have some real fears. I hope you and DH are able to come together.

@karaelaine1991 I would really hate to be in your spot right now. I'd swap family members, I like my FIL, probably not enough to have him staying here now, but I wouldn't worry about it as much as having my own dad here. Just the thought fills me with anxiety. I hope he leaves soon!

@upandbelow my DH has talked with me about his concerns that I won't make it thru delivery. And I have worried about my bond with baby, too. He hasn't asked me the question, save you or baby, because I think he knows also that if I wanted to try again we could. Or adopt, we've always been behind adoption (DH himself is adopted). And myself? I'm with you. Me.

@KarasTwin I feel ya! Hubs is going to have to be at the island again next week, and tho I'm not due until the 18th so I'm less likely to have a transportation related problem, it's still a huge stress when he's so far away.

I'm just totally a ball of nerves. Like @ElRuby I'm just trying to distract myself.

karaelaine1991 · May 2015

Thanks for the concern, @mellymar! All worked out well - his dad just left. I somehow managed to keep myself under control during these contractions so he didn't feel a need to stick around haha... now I can go lay down if I need to. I've just been hanging out on my birthing ball doing homework while he and DH work on the jeep. Now it's fixed and FIL is on his way!

KaLikeAWind · May 2015

karaelaine1991 said:
Thanks for the concern, @mellymar! All worked out well - his dad just left. I somehow managed to keep myself under control during these contractions so he didn't feel a need to stick around haha... now I can go lay down if I need to. I've just been hanging out on my birthing ball doing homework while he and DH work on the jeep. Now it's fixed and FIL is on his way!

teather5 · May 2015

I thought the worrying would settle down when the baby was "one the outside" bc I could "control things" but, man oh man, this is tough.

rsalata2015 · May 2015

I worry alot. Perhaps too much and this was said to me. If you pray why worry and if you worry why pray.

aj1327 · May 2015

rsalata2015 said:
I worry alot. Perhaps too much and this was said to me. If you pray why worry and if you worry why pray.

I love this! I'm worried that I'm going to become paralyzed by the epidural (which I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up asking for). I know the chances of this are so slim, but I'm still terrified.

ElRuby · May 2015

amccoy129 said:

rsalata2015 said:
I worry alot. Perhaps too much and this was said to me. If you pray why worry and if you worry why pray.
I love this! I'm worried that I'm going to become paralyzed by the epidural (which I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up asking for). I know the chances of this are so slim, but I'm still terrified.

This is my fear...from my last experience.... I cried so hard feeling that way they turned it off.

dancegurl1118 · May 2015

DH and I talked about saving me or baby...and he said me and I said me but, what kind of life would I live losing baby? I don't think I'd be able to work at my job, and frankly I don't know (being real here) if I'd be able to pull out of the depressive abyss. So then I think wouldn't DH be better off with the baby than MAYBE the thought of us having children after ours dying?

Frogger5 · May 2015

dancegurl1118 said:
DH and I talked about saving me or baby...and he said me and I said me but, what kind of life would I live losing baby? I don't think I'd be able to work at my job, and frankly I don't know (being real here) if I'd be able to pull out of the depressive abyss. So then I think wouldn't DH be better off with the baby than MAYBE the thought of us having children after ours dying?

Let's just comfort ourselves with the idea that it would be a really rare situation where only the mother OR the baby could survive, and there was actually a choice in it somewhere. I don't think talking about your end of life wishes with your husband is at all a bad or gruesome idea, but this particular hypothetical is probably not worth exploring. Cheered everyone up, I bet!

KarasTwin · May 2015

mellymar said:
So many valid concerns here. A lot of you ladies are talking about things that I am also stressing about

@JessHeppell DH and are under a lot of stress with his career. I saw your other post and sympathize. I wonder about how we will do with the stress of a baby, but I'm sure you have some real fears. I hope you and DH are able to come together.

@karaelaine1991 I would really hate to be in your spot right now. I'd swap family members, I like my FIL, probably not enough to have him staying here now, but I wouldn't worry about it as much as having my own dad here. Just the thought fills me with anxiety. I hope he leaves soon!

@upandbelow my DH has talked with me about his concerns that I won't make it thru delivery. And I have worried about my bond with baby, too. He hasn't asked me the question, save you or baby, because I think he knows also that if I wanted to try again we could. Or adopt, we've always been behind adoption (DH himself is adopted). And myself? I'm with you. Me.

@KarasTwin I feel ya! Hubs is going to have to be at the island again next week, and tho I'm not due until the 18th so I'm less likely to have a transportation related problem, it's still a huge stress when he's so far away.

I'm just totally a ball of nerves. Like @ElRuby I'm just trying to distract myself.

It just sucks because if he misses this class it will put him 6 months to a year behind at work. Last night he was saying that he hopes he'll be there to bring us home from the hospital. He's allowed to miss 2 days, tops. Even though he'll only be gone Monday through Thursday those 3 weeks, I'm still anxious that if LO is born over a weekend, he'll miss important moments. What's crazy is in some ways his company is really progressive (2 weeks paid paternity leave over the 1st year of a baby's life) but only if it falls during a specific time. Bunch of old men who probably don't think the dad needs to be around anyway.

@karaelaine1991 I'm glad you're FIL got his jeep taken care of and left you in peace!

karaelaine1991 · May 2015

KarasTwin said:

mellymar said:
So many valid concerns here. A lot of you ladies are talking about things that I am also stressing about

@JessHeppell DH and are under a lot of stress with his career. I saw your other post and sympathize. I wonder about how we will do with the stress of a baby, but I'm sure you have some real fears. I hope you and DH are able to come together.

@karaelaine1991 I would really hate to be in your spot right now. I'd swap family members, I like my FIL, probably not enough to have him staying here now, but I wouldn't worry about it as much as having my own dad here. Just the thought fills me with anxiety. I hope he leaves soon!

@upandbelow my DH has talked with me about his concerns that I won't make it thru delivery. And I have worried about my bond with baby, too. He hasn't asked me the question, save you or baby, because I think he knows also that if I wanted to try again we could. Or adopt, we've always been behind adoption (DH himself is adopted). And myself? I'm with you. Me.

@KarasTwin I feel ya! Hubs is going to have to be at the island again next week, and tho I'm not due until the 18th so I'm less likely to have a transportation related problem, it's still a huge stress when he's so far away.

I'm just totally a ball of nerves. Like @ElRuby I'm just trying to distract myself.
It just sucks because if he misses this class it will put him 6 months to a year behind at work. Last night he was saying that he hopes he'll be there to bring us home from the hospital. He's allowed to miss 2 days, tops. Even though he'll only be gone Monday through Thursday those 3 weeks, I'm still anxious that if LO is born over a weekend, he'll miss important moments. What's crazy is in some ways his company is really progressive (2 weeks paid paternity leave over the 1st year of a baby's life) but only if it falls during a specific time. Bunch of old men who probably don't think the dad needs to be around anyway.

@karaelaine1991 I'm glad you're FIL got his jeep taken care of and left you in peace!

Thank you! Good luck with the class situation with your husband, I hope he'll be able to be there for you!

Sammy K · May 2015

I'm afraid of getting an epidural and I'm afraid of not getting it. I'm wavering now and I have a feeling whatever I decide I will regret. I'm also afraid of bleeding out since I ruptured several blood vessels with DS and had a lot of blood loss. When the L&D nurses comment on the huge amount of blood, I take that as serious. But I will be in a hospital and in good hands, which is what I keep telling myself. I could never consider a home birth.

rweaver8611 · May 2015

I was just told at my appointment last Friday that I have to have a c-section this Friday due to my body not making any progress. I know people have c-sections all the time and are ok, so that's not what I am worried about...I'm worried about what it's going to be like being awake and knowing what's going on.

I just have to suck it up and remind myself it will all be worth it in the end!

karaelaine1991 · May 2015

rweaver8611 said:
I was just told at my appointment last Friday that I have to have a c-section this Friday due to my body not making any progress. I know people have c-sections all the time and are ok, so that's not what I am worried about...I'm worried about what it's going to be like being awake and knowing what's going on. I just have to suck it up and remind myself it will all be worth it in the end!

This worries me too - I'm not scheduled to have one, but it's one of the reasons why I'd prefer I didn't. If it makes you feel better, my mom told me that when she had one when my twin siblings were born, she just felt a bit of pressure - as far as delivery goes, she said it was easier than a vaginal birth. Hope that helps ease your mind!

Frogger5 · May 2015

rweaver8611 said:
I was just told at my appointment last Friday that I have to have a c-section this Friday due to my body not making any progress. I know people have c-sections all the time and are ok, so that's not what I am worried about...I'm worried about what it's going to be like being awake and knowing what's going on. I just have to suck it up and remind myself it will all be worth it in the end!

Wait, wait. You aren't in labor yet and the doctor said you need a c-section because your body isn't making progress, is that right? I don't know your situation so there could of course be a legit medical reason that you didn't mention, but seeing as how it's not even June yet, that seems off to me. No waiting? No NSTs to assure baby's OK while you wait? No induction attempt? Just straight to surgery? I'm sure it will be fine in the end, but like you said, that isn't really the point. I hope you trust your doctor and he has a good reason for scheduling a section before your due date! Good luck. There are plusses and minuses to everything and maybe try to remember that some women prefer the scheduled approach for multiple kids (like after they know what they're in for)!

dancegurl1118 · May 2015

@rweaver8611 can you please elaborate on this? What kind of progress? Many women's cervixes are completely closed until they go into labor. Theoretically your body SHOULDNT be making change until you go into labor.

More info please, otherwise I want you to run fast from a doctor forcing you into major abdominal surgery (that they can schedule to work best for them btw) that is unnecessary.

rweaver8611 · May 2015

Frogger5 said:

rweaver8611 said:
I was just told at my appointment last Friday that I have to have a c-section this Friday due to my body not making any progress. I know people have c-sections all the time and are ok, so that's not what I am worried about...I'm worried about what it's going to be like being awake and knowing what's going on. I just have to suck it up and remind myself it will all be worth it in the end!
Wait, wait. You aren't in labor yet and the doctor said you need a c-section because your body isn't making progress, is that right? I don't know your situation so there could of course be a legit medical reason that you didn't mention, but seeing as how it's not even June yet, that seems off to me. No waiting? No NSTs to assure baby's OK while you wait? No induction attempt? Just straight to surgery? I'm sure it will be fine in the end, but like you said, that isn't really the point. I hope you trust your doctor and he has a good reason for scheduling a section before your due date! Good luck. There are plusses and minuses to everything and maybe try to remember that some women prefer the scheduled approach for multiple kids (like after they know what they're in for)!

I got pregnant when I was very young (15 years old...he was adopted into a wonderful family) and had to have a c-section after 25 hours of labor. I slept through the whole thing, so I don't remember the actual surgery part, just the recovery. So now that I'm pregnant again (27 now) I was hoping for a VBAC. They said I can only have a low dose of pitocin to try to get labor going because any of the other meds to thin my cervix and all would put me at higher risk of uterine rupture because of the stress on it. I'm only dilated barely a 1, no thinning, and baby hasn't dropped yet.

So doc said the low dose of pitocin most likely won't be enough to get my body going. They did say they will check me Friday before they take me back and if I'm at at least a 3 they will try the pitocin. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Edited to add: I'm due Wednesday, so will be 40.2 when I go in to have him.

Frogger5 · May 2015

rweaver8611 said:

Frogger5 said:

rweaver8611 said:
I was just told at my appointment last Friday that I have to have a c-section this Friday due to my body not making any progress. I know people have c-sections all the time and are ok, so that's not what I am worried about...I'm worried about what it's going to be like being awake and knowing what's going on. I just have to suck it up and remind myself it will all be worth it in the end!
Wait, wait. You aren't in labor yet and the doctor said you need a c-section because your body isn't making progress, is that right? I don't know your situation so there could of course be a legit medical reason that you didn't mention, but seeing as how it's not even June yet, that seems off to me. No waiting? No NSTs to assure baby's OK while you wait? No induction attempt? Just straight to surgery? I'm sure it will be fine in the end, but like you said, that isn't really the point. I hope you trust your doctor and he has a good reason for scheduling a section before your due date! Good luck. There are plusses and minuses to everything and maybe try to remember that some women prefer the scheduled approach for multiple kids (like after they know what they're in for)!
I got pregnant when I was very young (15 years old...he was adopted into a wonderful family) and had to have a c-section after 25 hours of labor. I slept through the whole thing, so I don't remember the actual surgery part, just the recovery. So now that I'm pregnant again (27 now) I was hoping for a VBAC. They said I can only have a low dose of pitocin to try to get labor going because any of the other meds to thin my cervix and all would put me at higher risk of uterine rupture because of the stress on it. I'm only dilated barely a 1, no thinning, and baby hasn't dropped yet. So doc said the low dose of pitocin most likely won't be enough to get my body going. They did say they will check me Friday before they take me back and if I'm at at least a 3 they will try the pitocin. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Edited to add: I'm due Wednesday, so will be 40.2 when I go in to have him.

Yeah, but still - that's hardly giving your body time to do it's thing. IDK, I would not be down with that plan. Good luck, though, and fingers crossed you're at a three on Friday!

KaLikeAWind · May 2015

rweaver8611 said:

Frogger5 said:

rweaver8611 said:
I was just told at my appointment last Friday that I have to have a c-section this Friday due to my body not making any progress. I know people have c-sections all the time and are ok, so that's not what I am worried about...I'm worried about what it's going to be like being awake and knowing what's going on. I just have to suck it up and remind myself it will all be worth it in the end!
Wait, wait. You aren't in labor yet and the doctor said you need a c-section because your body isn't making progress, is that right? I don't know your situation so there could of course be a legit medical reason that you didn't mention, but seeing as how it's not even June yet, that seems off to me. No waiting? No NSTs to assure baby's OK while you wait? No induction attempt? Just straight to surgery? I'm sure it will be fine in the end, but like you said, that isn't really the point. I hope you trust your doctor and he has a good reason for scheduling a section before your due date! Good luck. There are plusses and minuses to everything and maybe try to remember that some women prefer the scheduled approach for multiple kids (like after they know what they're in for)!
I got pregnant when I was very young (15 years old...he was adopted into a wonderful family) and had to have a c-section after 25 hours of labor. I slept through the whole thing, so I don't remember the actual surgery part, just the recovery. So now that I'm pregnant again (27 now) I was hoping for a VBAC. They said I can only have a low dose of pitocin to try to get labor going because any of the other meds to thin my cervix and all would put me at higher risk of uterine rupture because of the stress on it. I'm only dilated barely a 1, no thinning, and baby hasn't dropped yet. So doc said the low dose of pitocin most likely won't be enough to get my body going. They did say they will check me Friday before they take me back and if I'm at at least a 3 they will try the pitocin. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Edited to add: I'm due Wednesday, so will be 40.2 when I go in to have him.

Well, I too hope you have made more progress naturally when you go in. But in regards to a csection, when my mom had one with my sister she said it was like someone was drawing on her stomach. That's what it felt like to her. Hope that helps

klkonwi · May 2015

I've seen low doses of pitocin work on plenty of successful vbacs...... Consider trying the induction. @rweaver8611

dancegurl1118 · May 2015

@rweaver8611 ok makes more sense. I'd try the induction. But again I am not an MD nor is it my body, that is just my 2 cents.

TheEA · May 2015

I'm supposed to have a c/s tomorrow morning. At my appointment on Wednesday my doctor said that the hospital would call me today to confirm the surgery and go over details. I haven't received a call so I went ahead and called admissions myself to get the details. I explained to the guy that I am coming in for a c/s and was wondering when I would be getting the call, blah blah. He said that that department isn't in on Sunday. He also said its strange that I never received a call on Friday. He said to come in at 6:30am which is 30 minutes earlier than my doctor told me. (BTW he works in ER admissions and doesn't have the schedule for c/s.) Now I'm freaking out that some kind of miscommunication happened and I'm not on the books for tomorrow. I don't need the stress of worrying about this. Not now when I'm already stressed enough about the surgery and about adding a new member to my family. Geez.

klkonwi · May 2015

If you aren't on the books Id be more than a little frustrated. It's probably just a communication error. Call L & D directly. They will have a list of surgeries for the next day. @TheEA
It will ease your mind.

mamameghan · May 2015

I'm anxious that I'm going to go into labour and things with DDs babysitters won't work out. Or that I'll think it's real labour and go in to the hospital and be sent home again (happened my 1st pregnancy).

Mostly I'm super anxious that labour will stop after I push out baby A and I'll have to have a c/s for baby B...

dancegurl1118 · June 2015

Trigger warning for loss

I'm starting to get really anxious about something going wrong, or baby being still born. There is physically no reason for me to have these concerns or worries but..I can't get them out of my head. Ugh. Just want this baby safely in my arms.

aj1327 · June 2015

dancegurl1118 said:
Trigger warning for loss

I'm starting to get really anxious about something going wrong, or baby being still born. There is physically no reason for me to have these concerns or worries but..I can't get them out of my head. Ugh. Just want this baby safely in my arms.

I get scared about this too. I just voiced this to my husband actually. I know I'll worry when he's out too, but at this point, I just want him to get here!

KaLikeAWind · June 2015

@dancegurl1118 you scared me for a minute!

I get ya. I thought about this briefly for a minute earlier today, actually. Both of you are gonna do great. Hugs!

laurendutch · June 2015

TheEA said:
I'm supposed to have a c/s tomorrow morning. At my appointment on Wednesday my doctor said that the hospital would call me today to confirm the surgery and go over details. I haven't received a call so I went ahead and called admissions myself to get the details. I explained to the guy that I am coming in for a c/s and was wondering when I would be getting the call, blah blah. He said that that department isn't in on Sunday. He also said its strange that I never received a call on Friday. He said to come in at 6:30am which is 30 minutes earlier than my doctor told me. (BTW he works in ER admissions and doesn't have the schedule for c/s.) Now I'm freaking out that some kind of miscommunication happened and I'm not on the books for tomorrow. I don't need the stress of worrying about this. Not now when I'm already stressed enough about the surgery and about adding a new member to my family. Geez.

Does your Dr office have an on call line? If so, I would call it.

staceyfern · June 2015

LO has been head down for the longest time. I feel his hiccups usually once a day always down low. Laying in bed now he was hiccuping but they felt a lot higher. EDD is on Tuesday. Is it possible he flipped this late?

NEENT10 · June 2015

I asked the same question about higher hiccups to my dr. He said that at this point if babes flipped I would know it FOR SURE. He said it may even kind of hurt. So most likely he didnt. Not sure of your situation but I hope that helps a little.

bbnmama2012 · June 2015

@staceyfern I think the head is far too heavy at this point to flip easily. Maybe the hiccups are just stronger causing baby to hiccup with his whole body??

Sammy K · June 2015

Tomorrow is June. I had a little bit of a panic attack because suddenly I don't feel ready for 2 kids. Crap.

New worries and anxiety for the week.

Re: New worries and anxiety for the week.

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