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Just can't quite get excited about a new pregnancy after a M/C

daniloodaniloo member
in 1st Trimester
I am currently 16DPO, and have had 3 BFPs as well as 3 blood tests with my ob/gyn.  She is monitoring my hcg closely because I had a m/c mid March at about 7 weeks.  I didn't even know I was pregnant last time, we were taking a break from fertility treatments and I just figured that my cycle was off from going off of all of the medications I had been on.  I never got sad over losing the pregnancy because I didn't even know I was.  I was more excited about the fact that we actually got pregnant OFF of fertility meds after so many failed attempts on them.  It gave me hope that getting pregnant was possible for me.  My doctor recommended since there were no physical reasons not to, to jump right back on the horse and start treatment for an attempt my next cycle, which was obviously successful.  

My problem is  with this pregnancy everything looks good, but I just can't seem to get excited about it. I think I'm worried about getting too excited about it in case the past repeats itself.  My question to the bump community is how do you get yourself over the fear of loss to allow yourself to be happy and excited about new possibilities?

Thanks all 


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Re: Just can't quite get excited about a new pregnancy after a M/C

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    chels0120chels0120 member
    I am the same way!!! I miscarried twice last year and I keep taking stupid tests. All positive. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop! I see the dr today and pray that this will somewhat put my mind at ease hahaha. I have started allowing myself to look on all the cute baby boards on Pinterest again. I've been pinning cute nursey ideas to stay positive!
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    mum2b1986mum2b1986 member
    I'm the same. I had a miscarriage in March and not feeling excited now about this one. I just fear the worst.
    Try to stay positive, it's more likely to work out this time than not too... I know that's probably not much help but just try to
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    kcmichelkcmichel member
    edited May 2015
    For me it has gotten better with the passing weeks. I had a chemical pregnancy last time (4w2d in March) so when I had a sono at 7w this time I was - a little - relieved. It was also on Mothers Day which I try to take as a good sign. The fear still hasn't fully subsided but this last week Im getting more excited and looking forward to announcing it to friends. Im 9w4d now. There really isn't much you can do to force yourself passed it - just take a breath every day that goes by where nothing goes wrong. Its good that they are monitoring you for now, hopefully the frequent updates give you some peace of mind. Hang in there!!
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    whit3183whit3183 member
    It's so hard, but I'm feeling better now that this is officially the longest of my 3 pregnancies and because I saw a baby moving around at my 9.5 week ultrasound. But I was a total mess from week 4 up until week 9.  Honestly, I don't know that there is any way to totally eliminate the depression/anxiety after a loss.  I find exercise helps more than anything. Best of luck to you!!
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    PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    daniloo said:

    I am currently 16DPO, and have had 3 BFPs as well as 3 blood tests with my ob/gyn.  She is monitoring my hcg closely because I had a m/c mid March at about 7 weeks.  I didn't even know I was pregnant last time, we were taking a break from fertility treatments and I just figured that my cycle was off from going off of all of the medications I had been on.  I never got sad over losing the pregnancy because I didn't even know I was.  I was more excited about the fact that we actually got pregnant OFF of fertility meds after so many failed attempts on them.  It gave me hope that getting pregnant was possible for me.  My doctor recommended since there were no physical reasons not to, to jump right back on the horse and start treatment for an attempt my next cycle, which was obviously successful.  


    My problem is  with this pregnancy everything looks good, but I just can't seem to get excited about it. I think I'm worried about getting too excited about it in case the past repeats itself.  My question to the bump community is how do you get yourself over the fear of loss to allow yourself to be happy and excited about new possibilities?

    Thanks all 


    You simply give yourself time. I usually get super excited after the first ultrasound. Then over the moon after a good anatomy scan. I'm the happiest on baby's birthday.


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    lemomof5lemomof5 member
    It's understandable. I had a loss and a healthy baby. I am 8 weeks and I still have trouble because the loss stays with you. I will feel better around 20 weeks. I don't think there is any way to get over the fear once it's happened. I'm just trying to keep myself busy.
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