DH in delivery room

trytry38ever · May 2015

I couldn't find a post on this specifically sorry if there already is one. Do you expect your DH/baby daddy to be in the delivery room with you? For those of you all who are not FTM did you have your DH or baby daddy in delivery room with you? If you did would you do it again or prefer him not in the room. If not did you miss or wish him to be there? Another question did/does he want to be in there with you?

trytry38ever · May 2015

Thank you for your reply if we can keep replies without judgement of each other that would be great. I do feel the same way about wanting DH in the room and this is probaly going to be the most popular opinion. However there are some who do not want there DH in the room or not fortune enough for him to be there for delivery. I just want to see the different views on the subject and who knows what if my DH is unable to make it in time and other people can give views on how they coped without.

cubberss · May 2015

We have homebirths, but DH is not cool with labour. I let my doula and midwives support me while he takes care of the other kids, feeds our support people, and frantically cleans the kitchen.

We call him in when I'm pushing, and he comes close for hugs and kisses once the baby is out.

sschwege · May 2015

Yup, not only DH but the first time also my MIL and the second time my mom. This time if all goes according to plan, DH, my mom and MIL.

It never occurred to me to not have DH there. That being said, I did kind of labor alone with my second. I called him into the bedroom when I wanted to go to the hospital and DS was born 1hr10 min after we left home. So I guess I did most of it on my own by choice. His support was great, but mostly I wouldn't want him to miss seeing his children come into the world!

mom3babies · May 2015

Uh even if I didn't want my husband to be in there for certain reasons I wouldn't keep him from seeing his child being born. He helped make the baby so why should he miss out if he is available to be there. I would never consider not having him with me. He may not be the best at supporting me while I'm in pain cause he hates seeing me like that but not once has he left the room because of it. He just steps aside when it gets bad so my mom or a nurse can help me cause they know more.

Katerina&Baby · May 2015

DH will absolutely be there - he is my support person and I can't imagine going through labor and delivery without him. He is very excited about everything and would be absolutely devastated if I tried to keep him out of the room.

thediarywithin · May 2015

My DH was there for it all. With my first, I was induced but I couldn't get past five cm. So, had an emergency c-section, when I was wheeled in OR without him, I was crying. I needed him there to support me. Soon, he arrived and he was there to comfort me through it all. I was a full mess at that point because nothing was going the way I wanted to go. Plus, our daughter didn't even cry when she was taken out. She was sleeping, actually sound asleep. He stayed with her until I could be with her.

With our second we had a planned c-section though, had to have him early. He was there the whole time as well. Unless he ran to check on our daughter at the sitter. I went into a doctors appt and found out that I was having him as soon as twelve hrs was up from me eating last. So we had a long wait at the hospital.

This one, he will be there. But this time so will my mom. I can't see my self going through this without him.

KonaCoffeeBean · May 2015

It honestly never even occurred to me that mothers would choose not to have their husbands in the room during delivery in 2015. Dads waiting outside seems likea sad relic of the 50s.

asun123 · May 2015

I didn't know women even considered not having their man in the room.

Unless it's some guy you don't even know from like a one night stand or something. Haha, But even then, I'd probably still want him to experience the birth of his child.

oneblessedmess · May 2015

FTM here, and absolutely I need him there. I don't think there's anything that could keep him away anyway.

itsrandiyo · May 2015

Agree with PPs, the thought literally never occurred to me not have my husband in the room. I would be heart broken if he couldn't be there for some reason, for myself and the baby's sake.

PrimRoseMama · May 2015

trytry38ever said:
I couldn't find a post on this specifically sorry if there already is one. Do you expect your DH/baby daddy to be in the delivery room with you? For those of you all who are not FTM did you have your DH or baby daddy in delivery room with you? If you did would you do it again or prefer him not in the room. If not did you miss or wish him to be there? Another question did/does he want to be in there with you?

Expect? Yes, I expect the a Father of my child to be present.

I had my husband with me for all births.

Yes, I would prefer him there. Why not?

Yes, he wanted to be there.

Why wouldn't you want your partner there with you? Honest question, no snark.

nilvero · June 2015

My DH was there from the get go. He came to every appointment with me, including all my ultrasounds. The day of my induction he held my hand and was just an amazing support person all around. He kept calm in a crazy stressful situation. I can't imagine not wanting your partner there.

clyon14 · June 2015

It seems that I am the minority here. This is something that my DH and I have talked about a lot. I've always known that he doesn't do well in hospitals and that he has always been anxious about seeing the birth. I also had reservations about him seeing me like that. I told him that I just wanted my mom in there and that I would feel better if he wasn't there during the pushing and birth. I also told him that there is no way that I would keep him out of the room if he wanted to be in there. It's his right as the father. He said that he would feel best in the waiting room. It was something he battled with more than I did, because he didn't want me or anyone to think he didn't care. It was a mutual decision and we both agreed that if it is a c-section that he will be there for me and our baby. I know my husband loves me and our baby more than the air in his own lungs. He has been a great support system for me throughout this whole pregnancy. He will also be a huge support on the big day by keeping his Mom in check haha! Whatever any couple chooses I think it's important to just communicate with each other and try and be understanding. Blessings to everyone!

Cocoasushi · June 2015

My husband was in the room when our daughter was born, he was there when our first son was stillborn and he'll be there when our second son is born in the next few weeks. I told him before our oldest was born that I wouldn't be upset if he looked away when the baby came out because I know that can be a hard thing to watch, but he never did and he loves the whole experience of welcoming our children to the world

Plus, he was about the only person in the room while I was in labor that actually listened to what I wanted (you know, I need ice, let me walk or don't touch me, that kinda stuff). Husbands in the delivery room can be pretty great.

trytry38ever · June 2015

I am glad for all of your post and while before I did ask to keep this without judgement I did not mean that you should not post your views. I only meant let's try to keep this friendly all it takes is one reply to start the witch hunting.

@clyon14 It's great you have already discussed the situation with your DH. As others have said it seems so common to have DH in the room that most would not have brought it up.

@Cocoasushi sorry to hear about your loss wonderful that you have such a supportive DH. I wish you a healthy happy birth.

Great to hear all the positive experiences with DH in the room since in so many movies the DH passes out or starts freaking out though we all know movies are a little over exaggerated.

It surprised me that you all could have DH in the room with a C Section from what I heard from ladies in my area they kick everyone out. Maybe hospital protocol or because all have been emergency not sure. I do not think I would like DH to be there if I had one.

kristyn831 · June 2015

DH will be there. Hopefully he'll be conscious. I don't think he'll pass out, because he's seen a lot of blood, etc at work but this time it's coming from me! My sister is having her DH and our mom because her husband probably has a 75% chance of passing out, haha.

sschwege · June 2015

trytry38ever said:

I am glad for all of your post and while before I did ask to keep this without judgement I did not mean that you should not post your views. I only meant let's try to keep this friendly all it takes is one reply to start the witch hunting. @clyon14 It's great you have already discussed the situation with your DH. As others have said it seems so common to have DH in the room that most would not have brought it up. @Cocoasushi sorry to hear about your loss wonderful that you have such a supportive DH. I wish you a healthy happy birth. Great to hear all the positive experiences with DH in the room since in so many movies the DH passes out or starts freaking out though we all know movies are a little over exaggerated. It surprised me that you all could have DH in the room with a C Section from what I heard from ladies in my area they kick everyone out. Maybe hospital protocol or because all have been emergency not sure. I do not think I would like DH to be there if I had one.

I've heard that if you have a c-section under general anesthesia (uncommon) then SO is not allowed in. Everyone I've known who has had a c-section had their partner in the room. I know sometimes they are asked to wait outside until the epi is placed, but then they can come in.

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