Work Guilt

jschnavis · May 2015

I am a teacher and I will have to go back to work in August. I feel lucky that I have five months off before returning to work. But I also feel bad and sad about returning to work.I have thought about trying to work part time but I'm not sure if I'll be able to. I definitely have the personality of someone who needs to work at least part-time. I was just wondering if anyone else is having mixed feelings about going back to work?

secretbaba · May 2015

I'm self-employed, with no maternity leave, and I've set a goal of going back to work, at least part-time, in June. My job involves a lot of travelling, and lo and behold the first potential trip is Paris. I'm seriously rethinking my goal now, at least until we move in August - but since I get no maternity leave we need the money!

Edited to add: so I completely understand what you're going through, although I can't offer any advice yet

murrayce · May 2015

I'm definitely having mixed feelings about going back. I've got 3 weeks left of my 12 week leave from what is essentially my dream job with people I really like. Aside from being sad and nervous about trusting strangers with the daycare transition, I realized the other day that when I'm working, I'll basically have 4 hours a day with my son. Despite having a great job that I like to return to, I'm just not sure 4 hours is going to be enough time with him. My husband is supportive of the idea of me staying home, but it will be extremely tight financially. I also worry about trying to break back into the workforce if I quit my job. Sigh...

myjessesgirl · May 2015

I start up again part time tomorrow. I actually have a new job that I will be starting, so I am all kinds of anxious about returning! We are blessed that my husband is a teacher and summer break just started for him last week. So he will be home with our little girl for the summer before we need to start thinking about regular childcare. While in excited about returning (I, too, thrive on work and would miss having a job), it came up so fast that I am sort of dreading it, too. (My biggest concern is pumping!) Such a hard decision and I wish we could have afforded more time off. Good luck to those returning soon!

mamaskittles09 · May 2015

I feel you.. I've been longing and dreading going back to work. It's a really weird feeling. I'm going back to work tomorrow as well, and having serious anxiety about it. I'm hoping it will be like ripping off a bandaid-- it will hurt the worst dropping her off at daycare I think!

sarah0989 · May 2015

It's completely normal! You carried this beautiful baby for 9 months and have been taking care of your little one since birth. Going back is going to be hard but I believe it always gets better. I went back after 6 weeks and I really do enjoy it. Sounds crazy to some people Im sure, but I like working. I also love his daycare and feel 100% comfortable with who is caring for him. I think all moms feel guilty one way or another, it's a mom thing lol! I'm sure you'll be ok once you actually go back. I hope it all works out for you!

SharLovesAlex · May 2015

murrayce said:
I'm definitely having mixed feelings about going back. I've got 3 weeks left of my 12 week leave from what is essentially my dream job with people I really like. Aside from being sad and nervous about trusting strangers with the daycare transition, I realized the other day that when I'm working, I'll basically have 4 hours a day with my son. Despite having a great job that I like to return to, I'm just not sure 4 hours is going to be enough time with him. My husband is supportive of the idea of me staying home, but it will be extremely tight financially. I also worry about trying to break back into the workforce if I quit my job. Sigh...

I feel the same way. My husband is very supportive of me staying home, but my job is really good about me staying home longer if I need to or want to. It's a great job with great people, but I'm worried about leaving my 2 month old with strangers when he should be bonding with me. It would be tight for us financially as well, but I really dread the thought of daycare. I'm nervous even when we leave the baby with my mom, my sis, or my husband's mom. Not because I don't trust them, I just wonder what he thinks when I leave him (I've only let each person watch him once). God forbid I drop him off to strangers..! I just don't think I can do it.

062312 · May 2015

I am also a teacher and feel the same exact way!!!! I have thought about trying to find something part time but there is always that worry that if I do quit that first grade job ,with the best first grade team, there is a great possibility it won't be there when my kids are grown and I want to go back .

luckily my mom is going to watch my daughter 3 days a week and she will go to daycare with her cousin the other two days. I just know it's going to be so hard at first!

I want to be there when she does all those fun things like crawling and walking for the first time.

jschnavis · May 2015

I am going to see if I can work one less class but I don't think my school will let me. I am nervous about asking but I guess the worst that can happen is they say no

BuckyC · May 2015

I'm a teacher too and am dreading August. I can tell you this: It is hard. Very hard. But it gets better. With my son, I cried every day for a week. But then it got a little easier. It was good for me to get out of the house and interact with my students and fellow teachers. But it was so hard to get any work done at home. Good luck!

roxybsktbll · May 2015

I feel the same. I have a wonderful job and work with great people but only having a couple hours with him a day doesn't feel like enough. My husband says I can stay at home. But that will put us in a really tight financial situation. I am torn on what to do. And my daycare provider is wonderful. I just want to be the one to raise my kid.

Christina80xoxo · May 2015

I went back two weeks ago when my baby was ten weeks old. I have 4 more weeks to use but I'm saving them for the holidays. I'm a nurse and we get hit with a lot of mandated double shifts during November and December and I really want to be with both of my kids at that time. I hate it. I work in a prison so I'm in a cold dark cement room twice a day with inmates outside the door trying to pump breast milk for my little girl. I spend all day being upset. My kids are with family and are so well taken care of and they do it for free. I find myself getting angry and depressed because I'm jealous they are snuggling with my baby while I'm working. My older one is 12 and I felt the sme way. It gets better in time, but you are definitely not alone. It's by far the hardest part of being a working mommy for me.

NAP1029 · May 2015

I went back to work on Monday after an 8 week leave. I feel like I went through all of the emotions you ladies are describing. I spent the last week of my leave staring at her and bawling. Daycare was the hardest--we're pulling her out after just one week; luckily we have family who will be able to step up to the plate for us.

Now only 3 days in, I know it gets a little bit easier each day. I also got some sound advice from my mommy friends: Even though the "firsts" mean a lot the first time to mom, at the end of the day they're just a blip on the radar. None of my mommy friends could recall any profound "firsts." As your kids grow I guess all the good memories just blend together in a blur. Which is why it's important to just savor each general, good memory. I hope I'm relaying this effectively... Because the sentiment really helps me keep on keeping on.

okieamy · May 2015

I've been back to work for almost two weeks now & can certainly relate. The day before my first day off I was really struggling with it, ready to seriously discuss with my husband me staying home. After my two days off I realized I don't take very good care of myself when I'm at home. I forget to eat, then when I do it's usually more of a snack than meal, I drink less water, I put off exercising, and fail to get to bed on time. The baby is well cared for either way, but her momma is neglected when I'm home. And when I neglect myself my milk supply suffers, something I've had quite a few issues with.
My first day back after that they were discussing "working mom guilt" on the radio on my drive to work. They discussed research on the benefits of the mother working outside of the home to children. Girls are more confident in the workplace & boys are better at domestic duties. This was what I needed to hear.
I also find myself being more present in the moment than I was on maternity leave. I tend to focus on all of the things I need to get done. Now that I have more limited time with her, I just try to focus on her because she won't be like this for long.

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