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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
knrickert
member
Intro...what's next? :(
knrickert
member
I lost my baby last week at 14 weeks. I'm only now able to post and say hi because everytime I started to, I'd become an emotional mess and couldn't continue because it was just a reminder of how "final" everything was....today I'm feeling a bit more like myself, a much sadder self but myself nonetheless. This is a bit long but here's my story...
The day that I took the test and found out I was pregnant, my dh and I were over the moon with excitement. My dd (2 1/2 year old) has been saying "I be big sister" since we told her she would be to everyone she saw (everyone from her Nana to the complete stranger in a store).
From the very beginning it was a much different pregnancy than it was with my first. This time around I had bleeding and spotting from 8w-11w. I went in several times for emergency ultrasounds and my Dr. kept saying the same thing...heart beat sounds great and everything looks okay, bleeding just might be my "normal" for this pregnancy. We had the NT scan at 12w and the heart beat was 158. At MFM they were concerned since the measurement was 3.5 but told us not to panic yet since that doesn't always indicate that there is definite problem, it's just a red flag. I had the bloodwork drawn for the MaterniT21 test and the 2 week wait began. It was a long 2 weeks and I had pretty much convinced myself that everything would be just fine and if not, we would be okay with having a child that had Down syndrome. In my mind, if there was a problem, that's what it would be. I was WRONG....it ended up being something completely out of our hands and not at all how I envisioned the outcome to be. I received a call that the test results had come back...low fetal DNA. What the heck did that mean? Good? Bad? The Dr. explained that there could be numerous reasons for low fetal DNA but that the lab also found a spike in the marker for Trisomy 15. Oddly enough, I began spotting about an hour before I received these results from the Dr. Because of the results and the spotting that had come back, they wanted to do another ultrasound right away. I went in and as soon as I saw the ultrasound monitor, I knew....the baby wasn't moving and the look on the tech's face said it all...I had enough ultrasounds previously to know before I was told that I wouldn't be hearing my baby's heart beat. Devestation doesn't even begin to describe the feeling...
I was scheduled for a D&E for a few days later but the following day I had a natural miscarriage at 14 weeks. Consequently I had to also have the D&E. That was last week...
As I sit here typing this, I am an an emotional wreck...I think that I'm doing good then the reality of it all smacks me in the face...this sucks...no other way to say it....it just sucks!
So now what? I guess time will be the only way to give me that answer but was wondering what you ladies are doing to try and cope and move forward? Praying that we all are able to get over this miserable hump and move on to a happy place with rainbow babies...
The day that I took the test and found out I was pregnant, my dh and I were over the moon with excitement. My dd (2 1/2 year old) has been saying "I be big sister" since we told her she would be to everyone she saw (everyone from her Nana to the complete stranger in a store).
From the very beginning it was a much different pregnancy than it was with my first. This time around I had bleeding and spotting from 8w-11w. I went in several times for emergency ultrasounds and my Dr. kept saying the same thing...heart beat sounds great and everything looks okay, bleeding just might be my "normal" for this pregnancy. We had the NT scan at 12w and the heart beat was 158. At MFM they were concerned since the measurement was 3.5 but told us not to panic yet since that doesn't always indicate that there is definite problem, it's just a red flag. I had the bloodwork drawn for the MaterniT21 test and the 2 week wait began. It was a long 2 weeks and I had pretty much convinced myself that everything would be just fine and if not, we would be okay with having a child that had Down syndrome. In my mind, if there was a problem, that's what it would be. I was WRONG....it ended up being something completely out of our hands and not at all how I envisioned the outcome to be. I received a call that the test results had come back...low fetal DNA. What the heck did that mean? Good? Bad? The Dr. explained that there could be numerous reasons for low fetal DNA but that the lab also found a spike in the marker for Trisomy 15. Oddly enough, I began spotting about an hour before I received these results from the Dr. Because of the results and the spotting that had come back, they wanted to do another ultrasound right away. I went in and as soon as I saw the ultrasound monitor, I knew....the baby wasn't moving and the look on the tech's face said it all...I had enough ultrasounds previously to know before I was told that I wouldn't be hearing my baby's heart beat. Devestation doesn't even begin to describe the feeling...
I was scheduled for a D&E for a few days later but the following day I had a natural miscarriage at 14 weeks. Consequently I had to also have the D&E. That was last week...
As I sit here typing this, I am an an emotional wreck...I think that I'm doing good then the reality of it all smacks me in the face...this sucks...no other way to say it....it just sucks!
So now what? I guess time will be the only way to give me that answer but was wondering what you ladies are doing to try and cope and move forward? Praying that we all are able to get over this miserable hump and move on to a happy place with rainbow babies...
Re: Intro...what's next? :(
MC 4/15
BFP 10/10/16
I lost our baby on Monday and for the last couple of days, we have surrounded ourselves with family and friends. My husband is fortunate enough at his job that he can take some time off, so we had DD spend Tuesday with her grandparents and we basically just had a day to ourselves. We went to a movie, lunch, and spent time together talking and mostly not talking about what happened. At this point, I just want to move forward. This afternoon we spent time with good friends and spent the day outside. Watching DD have fun puts a smile on my face and it really is my best therapy right now. Taking it one day at a time is all we can really do. When I want to cry, I let myself. Do what you need to do.