sex after baby — The Bump
August 2014 Moms

sex after baby

My son is 9 months old and I can count on one hand the amount of times my husband and I have tried to have sex. It is actually very painful for me. I also have a verrryyy low drive. I am pretty sure I could live the rest of my life without doing it and be totally fine. But I feel terrible doing that to my poor husband who has been very patient and understanding.
So I guess I Have two problems Im looking to solve.
I am breastfeeding so I know that causes some issues. But we use lube and all that but still painful. I try to relax and stop my mind from thinking about other things. Is it normal to still have pain this long after delivery??
And any tricks to help the drive??

Re: sex after baby

  • I could have written this exact post. I went back to the OB 6 months after my daughter was born because I was still experiencing a lot of pain. Turns out I have a vaginal cyst and retal prolapse. My OB said they'll resolve themselves over time, and once I'm done Breastfeeding they should be gone within a month.
    Married November 2009
    Clara, August 2014 
    Baby Boy due October 2017
  • Literally i just everything you wrote was whats happening in my house except sex isnt painful, its just not happening. I feel so bad. I have talked to my husband about it but its still not happening. We go to bed at different times, im exhausted because our LO does not sleep through the night. I habe experienced severe dryness and my OB gave me a perscription for that along with esteogen cream (very expensive). I am also BF and just randomly started my period while on the pill. So now we are just confused. I tell myself everyday to make it a priority and everyday sleep wins :(
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  • Talk to your OB about the possibility off needing Pelvic Floor physical therapy. There could be an issue with your pelvic floor muscles and/or scar tissue if you had a vaginal delivery. Feel free to message me with any questions (I am a pelvic floor PT).
  • I am in the same boat.  I went to the doctor and they suggested using Replense and also using a vibrator to get my body used to sex again.  The most helpful tip I got though was organic coconut oil.  My friend suggested using it as lubrication.  I was skeptical but it is amazing.  It's a little pricey but it has worked better than anything I have ever tried before and it tastes good too.  Good luck!
  • I totally get you on the no desire part. I WANT to want sex but I'm so tired from the baby and it just not a priority to me because I don't have a desire....
  • I'm right there with you all. My OB said that as long as one is BFing, the body won't produce as much estrogen, which accounts for the low sex drive and painful sex. I hope to get back to where MH and I were before baby soon!
    TTC Since July 2013
    BFP #1 8/8/13, EDD 4/16/14
    MMC discovered on 9/18/13 @ 10w, baby measuring 9w. D&C on 9/26/13

    BFP #2 12/7/13
    , EDD 8/12/13. It's a girl!
    Caroline Marie born 8/20/14. 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches and perfect!

  • Like others have said, I completely relate to this. Very little drive, lots of pain - thank you all for some of these suggestions. I had a lot of pushing in my delivery and feel like I may need PT. I went back to the OB at about 10 weeks and they wrote it all off saying healing takes time. Not sure if I should get a 2nd opinion or just wait to see what happens after I stop breastfeeding. I try to stay in communication with my husband so at least he knows I'm not trying to completely ignore him. It's been difficult. I also tell him that if it is going to happen it needs to be earlier in the evening so that I'm not too tired.
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