terrified new mommy to be

poliahu808 · May 2015

So, this is my first pregnancy and I'm SUPER nervous! I'm 28 weeks and I know baby will be here soon and I'm just so nervous about labor! When I first found out I was pregnant, I had my mind set that I was going to give birth naturally. Mostly because I'm too terrified about getting the epidural. One, I'm scared of needles and the thought of that long ass needle going into my back near my spine, straight up terrifys me! I'm so spooked about it that I think I would probably flinch or something and get paralized (yes, that's my fear) and SECOND, I also heard that getting the epidural was hard because you literally can't feel anything and its harder to push! I really had my mind set on not doing it but then my sisters told me about their stories of how much pain they endured with in labor. Another thing is that my sister said she received the epidural, but still felt the nurse stitching her afterwards! OUCH!

AnguelesR · May 2015

Same boat

Thj417 · May 2015

What helped me the first time around was constantly reminding myself that women have been giving birth for centuries. You have to trust your body and know that it is equipped to grow a baby and to labor to deliver it. There are other medication they can give you besides epidural to help you endure the pain as well, so ask what they offer. Also, attend the courses the hospital offers - they are considerably cheaper (or free) and will help you understand more about birth and help calm your fears.

cosplaymom · May 2015

Epidural is great, and you can still push, you just have to watch the monitor to know when you are having a contraction if you can't feel it, and you push with the contraction. I pushed out a 9 lb 4 oz baby after two epidurals without any sensation at all!

Calm down, you will be able to handle it.

emmacake08 · May 2015

Read as many birth stories as you can. I had a csection my first go around so I'm not going to pretend to be an expert but I've seen other ladies on here that got epidurals have great birth experiences. FWIW I'm pretty certain that an anesthesiologist won't go anywhere near your spine if you are moving or shaking that much. You're in active labor by the time they will administer it so I think that changes the setting a bit.

gulimz · May 2015

I'm on the same boat. Terrified because I have no idea what to expect. I've seen births many times during clinicals in nursing school, no 2 births are the same. I just tell myself there will be a awesome gain at the end of that pain....

amylianne · May 2015

I am with you on hating needles, but I truthfully didn't feel the epidural. There was a moment of tingle, but it was completely unlike any shot I've ever gotten. And, contractions suck, so after that you're happy to endure a small pinch.
I had control over how much mess I was pumping through, so if I was too numb I held off. But it's a bummer when you get behind on the mess then. I could feel enough to adjust myself from side to side, but not be in bad pain. I think the epidural is worth it's weight in gold!

Perfect Sonnet · May 2015

amylianne said:

I am with you on hating needles, but I truthfully didn't feel the epidural. There was a moment of tingle, but it was completely unlike any shot I've ever gotten. And, contractions suck, so after that you're happy to endure a small pinch. I had control over how much mess I was pumping through, so if I was too numb I held off. But it's a bummer when you get behind on the mess then. I could feel enough to adjust myself from side to side, but not be in bad pain. I think the epidural is worth it's weight in gold!

Same with me. The needle thing really freaked me out (and does now too, even having done it). However, by the time I was able to get it last time, I didn't care what they stuck in my back as long as the pain stopped.

Also, there is something about labor (at least for me) that you kind of go into survival mode. A lot of my fears went out of the window...I just wanted to get the show on the road. Someone noted above that the epidural keeps you from feeling contractions, but can see them happening on the measuring device thingy they wrap around your belly (no idea what else to call it), so you know when they're coming.

bj1987 · May 2015

Mine sucked!! Even with two rounds of medication the epidural barely knocked the edge off I felt almost everything's done still had a severe amount of pain. (Had a very long labor) I will opt in again this time but I hope it works better this go around. Good luck and hope you have a good experiance

lvrunningirlie · May 2015

I'm horrible with needles, but I literally felt nothing with the epidural. All I felt was his hands on my back and that was all. Plus there were about 3 - 4 nurses around me to make sure I was holding still. They are so used to doing them they are in and out in under a few minutes. Try not to worry too much about the things you can't control. If you want to go natural, give it a shot... you can always decide on an epidural later if you want one. It's not like you have to make the decision and stick to it right now.

abbycjones · May 2015

I completely understand how you feel! I'm a ftm and am a little nervous about what to expect. My hope is to be able to deliver without meds. But that's just my personal preference.

A friend recommended I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. It has been amazing and super helpful in mentally preparing myself for the laboring process. I definitely feel more confident in my body's ability to do this.

But you have to do what's right for you. And I don't think there's anything wrong with pain meds or an epidural if you want/need them. Figure out what all of your options are so you're well informed and make your decision from there.

ann_jeremiah · May 2015

Women have been birthing forever... Your body was made to do this... That being said.... Labor is super uncomfortable... I liken it to intense period cramps that consume your entire abdomen, because that's how big your uterus is at this point! I've always gone as long as I possibly could dealing with the pain before asking for the epidural, because I really would love to do it naturally and feel more in control. I've made it further each time without the epidural.

Just remember that it is also literally exhausting for your body to manage the pain/stress it endures during labor... An epidural can help ease that.

jadetree1080 · May 2015

FTM too, so no personal advice, but I just finished reading "Ina May's guide to natural child birth" I really recommend it. Lots and lots of positive birth stories and advice. It really reasured me that my body was designed for this. The last couple chapters get bogged down with statistics, but check it out. It really is worth a read of your feeling anxious about labor.

Startingagain2015 · May 2015

Everyone is different just relax. just because your sister had a hard labor doesnt mean that will happen to you. from my personal experience I will never get the epidural again. I didnt feel the contractions but I did feel him coming out and I had severe back pain for years after.

JSmith42514 · May 2015

FTM here as well and I also have the same fears about them sticking the needle into my spine, what if the doctor sneezes?
When I tell people I don't want the epidural they laugh and say I won't be able to handle it and I will be begging for one. I would love to be able to shove it in those people's faces that I was able to give birth with out an epidural.

akumatora · May 2015

I'm hoping to go without an epi too, partly because I'm a chicken with needles, and partly cause I really don't want a catheter. Those things just scare the crap out of me.

jenandbrett · May 2015

You can totally do this! Either way! I have given birth naturally both times and am so glad I did. It takes a ton of resolve and determination, but it was so worth it to me. Read hypnobirthing for breathing tips and encouragement. My biggest tips are to not lay down--trust me, it's the worst thing you can do and hurts so bad. I loved sitting in a rocking chair or on an exercise ball. My other tip is to live in the moment. You will lose your mind if you think about the next contraction during your breaks. Let your body relax in between contractions.

ptelfra · May 2015

I'm also terrified of giving birth! I've watched a million birthing videos and I am going to the classes in June but it's getting closer! :-$ I feel like when it's time I'm just not going to have the strength to push the baby out. The epidural I'm not scared about because I love getting flu shots/blood drawn etc (weird I know) I just hope I have thee strength! I'm also scared that I'm too small down there for him to come out haha. And that I will fail at breastfeeding :-S

jessandandy09 · May 2015

3 med free births here and I still get nervous! I will plan to have this birth med free too, but I always go in with the knowledge that I can change my mind. And there are a slew of drugs you can get, not just an epi.

As one PP said, Labor is different for everyone, even sisters. My sister had to have both of her children via C-section.

All of that being said, Birthing doesn't have to be a terrifying experience, even med free! I liked reading about positive birth stories and Medication free birthing processes to help me know that I could have a good experience. And I had 3 good, med-free births (so far and fingers crossed for one more!!)

good luck!

schup156 · May 2015

I didn't want an epidural with my daughter either (the idea of the epidural scared me more than the idea of labor!) and I just didn't want to make any assumptions that I would need it when I had no idea how labor would go for me. Every woman is different. I hated when I would mention to people that I was going to try and labor without an epidural first and see how it went. I was constantly told that I was crazy and that I would definitely need one, which is ridiculous because like I said....every woman is different.

I ended up not getting one. My thought is: pain is temporary. During the entire labor process, I just reminded myself that the pain I was feeling wouldn't last forever and that the end result was going to be my baby girl. I won't lie and say that it was easy, because of course it's not. I remember that labor was painful, but can't actually remember the pain (if that makes sense).

You won't know how your body will be during labor, so just go into it with an open mind. There are medications they can give you in your IV to help take the edge off, try those first. If you continue and need an epidural, get it. But don't let anyone make you think that you'll "absolutely" need an epidural or meds, because you won't know until you're in labor.

kat+1 · May 2015

I found this quote just before my son was born. " The power and intensity of my contractions cannot be more than me because it is me it's your body is your body" You can have this baby naturally you just need to live in the moment like PP said. Surrender to the now. Make funny sounds, and stay out of the bed, walk and stand lean on things hold and kiss your husband. Ina says you kiss when you make baby why not kiss when baby is coming. It helps.

I stood for my labour and I loved it. Yes the contacting did hurt but they lady 60 seconds and then the pain is gone. One minute I was mooing like a cow and the next I was joking about going to get a coffee.

Just go to the primal mother part of your brain and do what you feel is right.

I am having baby number 2 now and my fears are gone I am so excited to have a med free birth and to be able to be the warrior mama I know I am able to be. Ina may gaskin is also on YouTube and Facebook she has so many great videos you can check out

mgarrett921 · May 2015

I have the same fears. What's helped me so far the most is our prenatal class. If u haven't attended one, I recommend it. Between what the class teaches and getting to be in a room filled with people in the same situation with the same fears and questions has really helped. I learned a lot about epidural and have decided I'm going to hold off as long as possible. But it's nice knowing I can get one if I need to or change my mind.

Miz_Liz · May 2015

The biggest thing that I had to remind myself when I was a scared FTM (I've said it before, I'm sure I will say it again) is if it was that bad, no one would have siblings. Is it scary when you don't know what to expect (regardless of how many books you have read, movies you have watched, classes you have attended)? Yes, it is terrifying. But the truth of it is you will get through it, it isn't that bad - sure I don't want to do it every day, but it is soooooooooo worth it in the end!! As for the fear of the epi/needles - first, you are going to push a baby out, a needle is nothing in comparison. Also, when they give you the epi, they numb the area first, so it is just a small pinch and then a little burn as the medicine goes in. If you want meds, it is TOTALLY worth it. If you want to go med-free, that is awesome too. Having a catheter in is not bad, you don't even feel it since you already have the epi when they put it in. I remember how scary it was for me the first time around, I truly do....I get it, I sympathize, but I also know how much I am NOT scared this time (and I went through it, remember - so again, it can't be that bad). I can't wait because it means I get to meet my baby girl!!!

SouthernYankee87 · May 2015

Getting an epidural was the least painful thing throughout my L&D. I didn't even feel it being placed and I didn't feel the doctor stitching me up (for an hour and a half) after delivery. Recovery, now that was a b*tch for me. But, here I am 2 years later having another LO.

It wasn't so terrible that it prevented me from wanting a sibling for my DD.

ann_jeremiah · May 2015

akumatora said:
I'm hoping to go without an epi too, partly because I'm a chicken with needles, and partly cause I really don't want a catheter. Those things just scare the crap out of me.

A catheter isn't terrible... You Don't feel a thing!

fionalouise007 · May 2015

Other people's "Birth stories" on You Tube and the tv show One Born Every Minute UK have helped me get used to all the things that can happen during labour. I had no idea before I got pregnant and took a reluctant interest.
Warning: you'll cry. Also, some birth stories are horrendous but others are really lovely. It gives you a great perspective into the good and bad.
The biggest lesson I learnt from exposing myself to other people's stories was that anything can happen, and it's ok to have a birth plan but it's also ok to do what's best for baby. It doesn't matter how they get here, as long as they are safe.

ptelfra · May 2015

fionalouise007 said:
Other people's "Birth stories" on You Tube and the tv show One Born Every Minute UK have helped me get used to all the things that can happen during labour. I had no idea before I got pregnant and took a reluctant interest.
Warning: you'll cry. Also, some birth stories are horrendous but others are really lovely. It gives you a great perspective into the good and bad.
The biggest lesson I learnt from exposing myself to other people's stories was that anything can happen, and it's ok to have a birth plan but it's also ok to do what's best for baby. It doesn't matter how they get here, as long as they are safe.

This. Everything I've learned so far about giving birth has been from watching videos on YouTube. I am taking the birthing classes soon so those will help a lot more but the YouTube videos are very helpful. Not only about the giving birth process but even things like some essentials for a newborn and reviews on certain bottles etc.

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