I can't handle it!!

zmombie · May 2015

everytime I get just the slightest stressed out, I go into contractions! Or she gets hiccups. I don't know why, the stress in my life is daily and has been for over 10 years now. It's just been more and more lately.. But simple things such as my kids fighting.. Kids fight.. It's really not a big deal.. But it ticks me off to no end and then I try to make them stop and they keep on which makes me mad, and then before j know it I'm having contractions and trying to separate them.. Then I'm screaming at them to cut the shit.. Then there crying cause I'm such a horrible person... And it's like well just stop the first 5 times I tell you to and I won't have to start yelling... Then I sit there and start crying because I'm such a horrible mother. But seriously.. Why must they punch each other and scream bloody murder and kick and ect.. Is this even normal for kids to do? I can scream and spank and take stuff from them, put them in time out.. Nothing. Works!

So anyways, now the baby is stressed, I'm in severe pain, and my children hate me because I yelled at them. I just don't even know what to do anymore...

SnarkasaurusRex · May 2015

Take a deep breath. Your kids don't hate you; promise.

I find that yoga helps me keep my cool. I work with at-risk high school kids all day, and they REEEAAALLY know how to test my nerves. I would probably blow my top at them daily if I didn't do my daily yoga to center myself. If you're able to, make some time for yourself to do something that helps you relax. Take a bath, watch a TV show, read a book...just do one little thing for yourself every day to help you unwind. Good luck, mama!

runnergirl29 · May 2015

Oh I feel your pain.. you're not a bad mommy. Give yourself a break..sometimes I let them duke it out..lol and then when they come crying to me cause one got "hurt" I just look at them and say.. you shouldn't of been poopin around.

daniellehoying · May 2015

Yoga by Adrienne! I did her 30 day challenge & it really changed my perspective on life almost effortlessly. My patience was improved & I was happier.
I just talked myself into starting it again

zmombie · May 2015

Thank you ladies.. I tried talking to my mother about it.. And she said "that's why I tell you all the time not to say things you don't mean.. She's always going to remember you saying that."(Cause after I got my oldest to chill out. I went and sat down in tears I hurt so bad. And she came over and Layed on my stomach and I jumped and said "don't touch me right now" and she started crying and so I grabbed her and hugged her and explained that that's not what I meant. Just that my belly really hurt.) and I have hugged her like 7 times since then and told her I would never mean it like that.. I'm so tired of the judgemental stuff.. My moms a great person.. But she's no saint either. And I'm just so sick of being made to feel like I can't do anything right. So I came here hoping that maybe there are other moms out there that have yelled at there kids once in awhile. Or been less then picture perfect. Since they were born I have always felt like everything I do is wrong... How am I supposed to raise this one to? When just by simply getting pregnant means I have already failed her because I'm her mother.

chanielle14 · May 2015

Oh no, I am the exact same way! This pregnancy my hormones have been extra wonky. I have 4 year old twins already and another set on the way..... Anyway I'm always finding myself trying to stop their bickering and fighting but end up just stressing myself out, then my hubby tells me to just ignore it which doesn't help. I just want to be alone and lay around and relax stress free but it will never happen. Your kids don't hate you and it will be over before you know it, good luck to you :-)

zmombie · May 2015

chanielle14 said:
Oh no, I am the exact same way! This pregnancy my hormones have been extra wonky. I have 4 year old twins already and another set on the way..... Anyway I'm always finding myself trying to stop their bickering and fighting but end up just stressing myself out, then my hubby tells me to just ignore it which doesn't help. I just want to be alone and lay around and relax stress free but it will never happen. Your kids don't hate you and it will be over before you know it, good luck to you :-)

Thank you so much! Thank all of your for the support. Lol I am so worried about my actions and hormones that I just make them worse! I'm so paranoid about being a grumpy person. And a bad mother.. It's more stressful then the hormones themselves. Lol.

But two sets of twins! Wow! Lol how many boys and how many girls? Yea I want a moment to myself.. And even tho my mom says stuff sometimes that hurts me (like earlier) I know I'm just being sensitive, and she def didn't mean to. She has been absolutely amazing! Anyways, I know she would take the girls to go do something so I can lay down, she's told me to a few different times.. But I feel worthless if I do.. Lol I'm my own worst enemy here. Plus I been on bed rest both pregnancies, and they say I will get pre eclampsia again this time so I want to be on my feet as much as possible.

alliemaray · May 2015

chanielle14 said:
Oh no, I am the exact same way! This pregnancy my hormones have been extra wonky. I have 4 year old twins already and another set on the way..... Anyway I'm always finding myself trying to stop their bickering and fighting but end up just stressing myself out, then my hubby tells me to just ignore it which doesn't help. I just want to be alone and lay around and relax stress free but it will never happen. Your kids don't hate you and it will be over before you know it, good luck to you :-)

I've got four year old twins too and right now even when I know they're just being boys, it stresses me out and I end up snapping at them. They usually exchange looks and go in their room and give me space. Hang in there mama, it will be okay.

corndogrobot · May 2015

zmombie said:
Thank you ladies.. I tried talking to my mother about it.. And she said "that's why I tell you all the time not to say things you don't mean.. She's always going to remember you saying that."(Cause after I got my oldest to chill out. I went and sat down in tears I hurt so bad. And she came over and Layed on my stomach and I jumped and said "don't touch me right now" and she started crying and so I grabbed her and hugged her and explained that that's not what I meant. Just that my belly really hurt.) and I have hugged her like 7 times since then and told her I would never mean it like that.. I'm so tired of the judgemental stuff.. My moms a great person.. But she's no saint either. And I'm just so sick of being made to feel like I can't do anything right. So I came here hoping that maybe there are other moms out there that have yelled at there kids once in awhile. Or been less then picture perfect. Since they were born I have always felt like everything I do is wrong... How am I supposed to raise this one to? When just by simply getting pregnant means I have already failed her because I'm her mother.

Oh my gosh I wanna hug you right now! You are a great mama! I feel exactly the same way after I yell at my little boy. I feel bad but sometimes I just gotta yell!!!!
And my mom says super judgmental things to me too. And I wanna yell at her too!
Hang in there, you are doing great. I use to say one day at a time. Now I just think, 'please let's just make it till the next nap/bedtime and I'll be ok'
Hugs to you!

zmombie · May 2015

Oh man such a relief! Thanks mommas. I know it's hormones.. But the girls don't. So I am always apologizing about being cranky.. My oldest will say "it's okay mom, I know your just pregnant" lol! But she's only 6, she can't understand fully.
It's just really getting hard on me I guess. Almost done.

inkblotanna · May 2015

I feel you on this. Although I only have a 2 year old she can be very testy sometimes and I will literally have to lock myself in the bathroom to calm myself down.

AlexandraMarcotte · May 2015

Aww, you are doing so well! Definitely don't be hard on yourself - our hormones are all over the place, and you're doing a great job keeping it together.

And your girls probably won't remember anything you've said - they'll remember how you make them feel (and it sounds to me like that's just very well loved!)

My mom often tells stories of her hormones when she was pregnant, and when I was 4 (and she was pregnant with my brother) I also jumped into bed to snuggle, and she says I hit her stomach so hard that she practically threw me across the room and started crying....I honestly don't remember this AT ALL. I don't remember any of the times she yelled at me and my sister, or how hormonal she says she was. All I remember from that time period were the days she made me PB&J sandwiches, and let me try on her shoes. Haha. So don't you worry - you're doing a great job, mama!

LittleRue · May 2015

Every time I yell at my kids I feel like a monster and then I say shit I hope I didn't screw him up (I have 2 boys).. i take a minute go in and apologize and we chat about feelings. But in our house it works both ways when my kids are rude to me they usually take a minute and then do what I do and apologize and we chat calmly. My boys are 8 and 13 and I think it's normal to argue ect it's the ability to communicate feelings that's most important. Mama probably isn't going to never yell again and they know it by now.
You're not a monster, but try talking with them after you yell even if they're little. They love you the most and always will.

lilweenie · May 2015

Because of this I am planing on being one and done!

zmombie · May 2015

Thanks everyone! It's a big help to have the support! My mom don't mean anything bad when she forgets to be understanding. Lol. And she will later say I'm doing a really good job controlling my hormones and ect. It's really weird, because this time around I know the hormones and know a little how to control them, but there so much can worse then my past pregnancies.
Anyways thank you all for your support and letting me know I'm not a monster.. Man I feel like one a lot! lol. My 4 year old is so cute, if she hears me say "I'm huge" or "I'm a whale" she crosses her arms and says "no your not! There's a baby in there!"

jtenkorang · May 2015

You are doing your best and never feel like a failure. But I work with families that have children with difficult behaviors and I would suggest going to a parenting class in your community of you really feel like you need to improve. But no one is perfect and my 14 month old has several tantrums every day. I too feel like a failure but you just have to move on. I love my babies and I'd never do anything to hurt them. We all need our space sometimes.

alliebarry13 · May 2015

I think you're doing just fine! This is my first baby, but I know being a mom is tough. You can't always be right. I saw you said your oldest is 6 so they prob don't understand, but maybe you should sit them down and explain how it makes you feel when they do that. As you know, it's not good to stress like that! I think if you let them know how you feel, they might try to help you out.

zmombie · May 2015

Yea.. They do try to help and when I tell them how there behavior effects me, they feel bad. I know they don't mean to.. So then I feel bad that I made them feel bad... Lol vicious cicle.. Since this post I have been trying to just, stop and breath. When they get fighting, I try to tell myself that there not gonna kill each other (God I hope not!) and I wait till there's a minute of silence and then I don't have to yell over them for them to hear me.

Erink101811 · May 2015

I can totally relate, I only have one girl who is a little over three and a half. She is a great but tries my patience to no end everyday. I try to keep my cool but most time doesn't work. I just keep telling myself, almost done (just over 34 weeks) I feel horribly for always yelling at her and I apologize. She just tells me she loves me and sorry

zmombie · May 2015

Aw! When I was pregnant with my second, my oldest was just under 2.. And it was very frustrating!

bethanylynn456 · May 2015

This morning my two year old wound up and hit me - something he never does! I was just so frustrated I didn't know what to do so I turned around and sat with my back to him to just breathe for a minute. It turn out that doing that got his attention way more than the times I've gotten angry and yelled! He immediately started crying and gave me a hug saying "I'm sorry mama!" So then I started crying haha damn hormones.

courtneyjuan4 · May 2015

I have 4 year old twins with twins on the way. I know how your feeling. Plus I work in a factory with a bunch of idiots doing hard work then come home to needy boys. I'm so done and so grumpy!

crf4 · May 2015

With you ladies! My guys are 5 & 2 and boy oh boy are some days hard. I always recommend love & logic to fellow moms as well as the blog orange rhino. One is a parenting book that gives great advice on how to keep your sanity by always giving the responsibility of their actions back to them and the blog is a mom who started a "no-yelling" challenge. She's honest and amazing and none of us are monsters; we are only people with real emotions dealing with little people who know exactly how to rile us up!

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