Baby sleep advice for FTM

Sammy K · May 2015

I didn't find a previous post this would fall under, but I have some unsolicited advice for after LO is born.

Before baby arrives, get a book on kids sleeping. DS was sleeping 6-8 hours a night from 2 months and then we hit the 4 month sleep regression, which is a real thing and really sucks if you're working and can't be up every 2-3 hours at night and not have oatmeal brain. I love Dr. Ferber's "Solve your child's sleep problem" because it covers sleep issues through adolescence. Even if you don't want to do cry it out, his book explains how their brains develop and why they regress. Which helped me have more patience and realize my 4 mo old was not being a dick on purpose.

Why am I recommending it now? It would be a good way to pass time before LO arrives and you don't want to wait until you have a problem. Also, we've been having major sleep issues with DS so I went back to my book yesterday and we followed one of his methods last night. Tonight? He went down without a fight. Huge sigh of relief!

Full disclosure: I swore I wouldn't do cry it out but after 2 weeks of him regressing, I was at my breaking point and willing to try anything. In 3 days, he was going down without a fight and sleeping 12 hours straight. So I am a huge fan of Dr. Ferber. I had never heard of sleep regression, so hopefully this will help some FTM out there.

Sammy K · May 2015

And here's a good article on sleep training if you're new to the concept.

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/sleep-training-what-is-the-perfect-age-118314978067.html

ksimo6 · May 2015

Brave woman. My old bump board would have castrated you for even thinking the name Ferber, let alone recommending it! We used a modified version of Ferber a well at about 6 months which worked for us and our daughter. We plan to use it again with this child provided he responds to it if course.

My only advice would be to wake that baby up during the day at least every three hours to eat. Our daughter started to stretch out her nights around 6 weeks because we woke he during the day and got her full before she went down for the night. Strip em naked if you need to, just wake em up!

princessbmw · May 2015

We also used Ferber at 6 months with ds. It saved my sanity! I'm hoping to start better sleep habits with this baby earlier. I have some anxiety about sleep deprivation from my first. Hoping to get a good sleeper!

aliciac2008 · May 2015

I am reading "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. So far I really like it. It's more for colicky babies, and not adolescents, but has me much more relaxed about whether I'll be able to sleep or not during those first few months.

pixieprincss · May 2015

I wish you all the best in welcoming another baby in your home and parenting in the way that best works for your family dynamic. To offer a counter-perspective for those collecting resources, I found that a great place to start for myself was with reasonable expectations based on research studies. Kelly Mom has a great summary of infant sleep studies.For myself, I've found understanding infant sleep from an anthropological standpoint (namely the considerable research of James McKenna of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab at Notre Dame) to be the most helpful thing and just going with the flow until an appropriate (for our family) age for night-weaning. But, for those looking for a strategy or book, I know many folks who like The No Cry Sleep Solution.

It's great to live in a era of so many choices and ways to share resources!

Sammy K · May 2015

There are lots of options and each family is different. I just recommend looking into this before the problem starts so you know what options you have! I've also heard good things about the no cry sleep solution.

ksimo6 · May 2015

I read The Happiest Baby as well... We used a combo of methods. Got to work with you and your child's personality.

lindsladle15 · May 2015

I love BabyWise, Giving your infant the gift of nighttime sleep" by Ezzo and Buckman! Also talks about eating habits/schedules and there is a second one

queequeg09256 · May 2015

I'm excited about this thread. I love sleep, and haven't been sleeping more than 2-3 hours at a time in the last few weeks. Since I'm going to have 2 months off with lo I'm looking for good options to start sleep training at the 2 month mark so that both dh and I can get the rest we need and have a happy healthy baby too. Another suggestion I saw was to have your baby nap in their own room once a day so they start to develop the feeling of you not being there when they sleep too. So I will be doing this as well. My mom said both me and my sis were great sleepers at 2 months and I'm praying this kid will be like that.

Cateash77 · May 2015

Unfortunately IMO it can really be luck of the draw as to whether you get a good sleeper or not. If you have a poor sleeper, then I personally recommend getting help from a baby health centre or referral to sleep training, rather than reach breaking point. In the very early days I found with my DS that making sure he was truly full really helped with sleep, and I so I will be adding a nightly bottle of formula from week out of hospital, which I know many people don't agree with, but I know many friends who have sworn by this. I have heard cry it out really works, but its not for me, so we will see how we go with the former which we will use in conjunction with the 'Midwife Cath, Bath, Bottle and Sleep Routine'-she's an aussie midwife who gets great results without cry it out. Only tip re: cry it out from ladies I know who have done this is: get a friend to be with you during the day because you are supposed to do it for day sleeps as well and sometimes the crying during day sleeps can be more persistent and upsetting even than the night times. Good luck everyone!

klkonwi · May 2015

@Cateash77 there is no shame in getting all advice and all perspectives! Don't be ashamed if it's an unpopular opinion. We all just need to get through this with our sanity intact.

We might need this thread more than ever when these kids are out!!!!!!!!!!

laurendutch · May 2015

@Cateash77 I never felt comfortable with crying it out either...and have actually heard not to do it before 6 months.

I did let my boys cry it out at around 8 months. We were on a family vacation and sharing a room with the boys. My son started to cry and I had to go to the bathroom, so I headed to the bathroom before I got him. As soon as I left the room, he stopped crying! The little stinker. I knew at that point, that it was more me that he wanted and not so much wet, or hungry.

Sammy K · May 2015

The biggest thing is find what works for your family. There is so much conflicting information. I've heard you shouldn't sleep train before 4 months but our pediatrician said between 4-5 months most babies should sleep through the night. Day sleeping was never an issue for us but for others it was worse than night. I'm sure this will come up again, and it's a good conversation to have.

ksimo6 · May 2015

My biggest tip... Put your partner in charge of sleep training so you can sit on the couch and cry and drink wine. It TOTALLY worked for me!

laurendutch · May 2015

ksimo6 said:
My biggest tip... Put your partner in charge of sleep training so you can sit on the couch and cry and drink wine. It TOTALLY worked for me!

That's what I did wrong!!!

bbnmama2012 · May 2015

ksimo6 said:
My biggest tip... Put your partner in charge of sleep training so you can sit on the couch and cry and drink wine. It TOTALLY worked for me!

Best advice ever! Lol

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