I don't think its a good idea. Probably best to keep some boundaries. I wouldn't accept it. Especially if there have been conflicts in the past with her. FB tends to bring on more conflicts in my experience.
BM and I were FB friends for a little while but I deleted her after she started talking crap about DH to me. It was like she thought b/c we were FB friends that we were actual friends in real life and she could vent to me which was not going to happen. I actually blocked her when I deleted her so that we can't see each others posts. Has taken a lot of stress out of my life as silly as that sounds. I just wouldn't even open that door if I were you, saves you having to delete her if things go south.
Either she's trying to be friendly or she wants to snoop.
I think it all depends on your BF dynamic.
BD & I have a pretty good co-parenting relationship, but I would never be FB friends with him or anyone in his family. While things are good now, they were very contentious for several years, and I just don't want to open up that door. We have separate lives, and if it weren't for our child we wouldn't still be connected as we are such different people. I don't want to have to think "Do I want BD seeing this?" before I post a status/picture/etc.
Are you guys on good terms with BM? Do you see any good coming from being FB friends with BM? (i.e. a more positive co-parenting relationship, BM posting incriminating things that help with your custody care, etc.) My initial reaction would be "No way!" but I know that some people find benefits from being FB friends with their X/SO's X.
I would accept but put her on limited. I'm not great about this now but I'm trying to work on just posting things I wouldn't care if they were public because my SS is 10 and will have his own account and access to ours in a few years...I'm sure he will be sharing that with Bm.
Re: Facebook friends?
I don't think its a good idea. Probably best to keep some boundaries. I wouldn't accept it. Especially if there have been conflicts in the past with her. FB tends to bring on more conflicts in my experience.