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August 2015 Moms
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Baby Shower anxiety!

clyon14clyon14 member
in August 2015 Moms
I am a ftm and I'm having the first grand baby on my side of the family and the first grand baby in ten years on my husband's side. So there has been a lot of questions about what I need and what I have on my registry. I can't help but feel a tremendous amount of guilt every time I even go to the baby section of a store, Let alone making a registry. It really bothers me that our family is going out of their way and spending their money on me and every time I think about this inevitable baby shower I can't help but want to cry. I just feel undeserving of it all. It literally gets hard to breathe when I think of it all. Has anyone had these feelings before? If so, how did you work through these feelings?
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Re: Baby Shower anxiety!

  • nicolelsmith7nicolelsmith7 member
    Relax! Gifts are part of having a baby and Whether you have a registry or not people are going to buy you gifts. Better they get you the things you need/use than waste their money on things you wouldn't.
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  • Thj417Thj417 member
    Your family is investing in their future. You babe is carrying on the line. By making a registry, they are able to chose what they can afford and at the same time get things you need so hopefully you don't get doubles.

    Welcome their love and be sure to write a thank you note afterward. You will be surprised at how you remember "aw this came from auntie" or "my best friend gave this to you baby" type of thoughts you'll probably have as you use many items.
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  • sjra1028sjra1028 member
    I would welcome it! They're just excited about the new addition to the family and people love spoiling babies! Like PP said, make sure to send thank you cards! :-)
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  • SassetteSmurflingSassetteSmurfling member
    edited May 2015
    I have a very hard time accepting gifts from anyone for any reason. I really do. So I get where you're coming from. For me it's just like... I can afford what I need I don't need other people to spend money on me!

    But then I think about how much I like giving gifts and how happy it makes me. I don't do it because I think I have to, I do it because I want to. So I try to keep that in the back of my mind when receiving gifts from others and just appreciate it.

    As far as a registry, just treat it like a shopping list. Put stuff on it that you would otherwise buy yourself if you weren't having a shower. Some people will use it, others won't. But when the shower is all said and done it will be nice for you to have a list of what wasn't bought so you can finish up your shopping before LO gets here!

    Good luck!
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  • Perfect SonnetPerfect Sonnet member

    People who care about you want to buy you gifts for your baby.  When your friend or family members get married, have a baby, buy a house, etc, don't you want to buy them something?  I do...especially for babies.  Most of the people in your life are probably pretty excited about this and want to contribute somehow.

    By accepting gifts from people who love you and will love your baby, you're not demanding anything.  Just be grateful and send thank you notes.


     

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  • clyon14clyon14 member
    Thanks for all the great advice and thoughtful words. I am feeling better about it and just have to come to terms that people are going to give me gifts. I just have to remember to be grateful that I have people in my life that love me and my baby enough to want to give him gifts. I'm going out right now to get thank you cards. Once again, thanks for your advice everyone.
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  • ashbash1012ashbash1012 member
    I was in a similar situation with my daughter. First girl in 30 years on DH side and first grand baby on mine. So the pressure was unbelievable but to make it how I wanted it. I threw my own I don't /didnt care about being called tacky it's 2015, the ways of the old days are FAR behind us. Once i calmed My nerves and got over the initial paranoia my husband and I put our heads together and did our own thing. So, in summation, don't be worried it'll turn out fine. Think of you, your baby and your husband not the opinions of others.
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  • mjpensylmjpensyl member
    I feel the same way sometimes. Just remember people WANT to do this for you, especially your family members. It makes them feel involved & appreciated, and they want to show you how much they love you & your little babe. I try to remember how much I love giving others gifts. Just show your appreciation & thanks and send them thank you notes afterwards. They will be so happy they could contribute to this exciting time in your life. :)
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  • lethannelethanne member
    Feel blessed and lucky. Many people do not have family members that want to or are capable of doing it. Be appreciative and use this time to reflect and be thankful and further build those great relationships you have!
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