Terrified of tearing!!

laylababe3 · May 2015

I really don't want an episiotomy, but I'm also terrified of tearing naturally..

If you've been through it before, did you tear? Did you get the episiotomy? Did you get one and tear anyways? Or how do you think you avoided both? So may questions!!

Please share your story!

MissusTexas · May 2015

I had an episiotomy and tore afterward. It took 9 months to heal but this time I'm doing everything differently to try and avoid it. My new dr was shocked that I was given an episiotomy because it's rarely necessary and wasn't in my case- I would do some research on it and tell your doctor you would rather tear.

A few things you can do to avoid tearing:

-Perineal massage with Vitamin E oil at least 6 weeks before delivery
-avoid induction unless medically necessary

-avoid pitocin because it can speed up labor too much, meaning your body doesn't have time to prepare for the passage of the baby.

-avoid an epidural. You can't feel what you're doing while pushing with an epidural- I think that is why I tore even after she cut me- so you end up pushing harder and possibly in the wrong way at the wrong time.

-warm washcloth compresses on your perineum while pushing

I will most likely tear again because the area that didn't heal correctly is still compromised, but I hope you can avoid it entirely! Some people don't tear and some just tear a tiny bit.

Miz_Liz · May 2015

I was terrified of this too. I tore. I did not feel it happen but felt the stitches; however they honestly weren't that bad - stung a little, but at that point I had my gorgeous baby so I didn't care at all. Not even scared of it this time. The one thing I will say though is the first time you go pee, use the peri bottle they give you and squirt warm water down there WHILE you pee....otherwise it stings like a biatch!

Miz_Liz · May 2015

Oh, and...witch hazel pads that they give you are amazing...stock up!

CaliforniaDream87 · May 2015

I had a small tear. I would rather tear naturally than to ever have an episiotomy. I never even knew I tore until I saw the Dr. stitching me up.

It was a little sore the first few days and it did sting a little when I peed but that was it. The witch hazel pads were my BFF's that first week. If I had to do it over I would do it the same way. No episiotomy for me, ever.

hclzmm14 · May 2015

I had epi and did have second degree tearing. It wasn't really that bad and was healed completely by 6 weeks pretty much.

ann_jeremiah · May 2015

i tore.. I didn't feel it happen... I'm almost certain it happened when they rammed the vacuum thing up there to help pull him out! I only knew I tore because they stitched me up afterwards... Which I did feel- I had an epidural. The stitches healed with no problems.

breezymeema7 · May 2015

I tore with DD1 and didn't even know I did. I felt the freezing needle they used before they stitched me up, but in the scope of labour, the needle was nothing.

mrsrfwii · May 2015

No episiotomy but I did tear. Honestly I had no idea until the doctor told me there was a small tear. I'd rather tear naturally if it's going to happen. Utilize what they give you at the hospital to ease any discomfort, tucks, witch hazel, & I was given dermoplast (a pain relief spray) that seemed to help.

kat+1 · May 2015

No tear, I had Pitocin to hel bring on my contractions.
********But I did self guided pushing, with NO Epi.**********
I felt the sting of stretching and stopped pushing waited a few seconds or a minute whoever long it took to stop hurting and then went back to pushing. My midwife also did hot compresses and perineal massage with coconut oil.
I would rather tear natural then allow them to cut me. Midwife said tearing is better because it Heals better in her experience.

Gooblin · May 2015

I've had three kids, the last one was 10.5 lbs. I didn't tear with any. My midwife told me that when you feel the extreme burn stop pushing and breath then push again when it subsides. Also light counter pressure on your vagina while baby is coming out, either by you or someone who knows what they are doing. It's worked every time for me. Even when my midwife was yelling at me to push I said "I know what I'm doing!!! Leave me alone" and listened to my body. Every baby she complimented me on how well I paid attention to my body. I did take a lot longer to push out my last one but it was well worth it to go slow in the end. If I had just gone with my urge to push I know I would have torn with that monster of a baby!

Boslove · May 2015

I tore naturally also, 2nd degree tear. Healing wasnt bad I was all set by my 6wk visit. Witch Hazel pads are ur best friend. I will try some of the advice PP gave to see if that helps this time around, besides skippn the epidural I need all the meds!

jilladelario · May 2015

I had a really bad tear, it took 45 minutes to an hour to sew me up. But honestly, it wasn't a big deal. It healed fine and I had so many other things on my mind.

thesportsgal · May 2015

My doctor said they don't really do episiotomies anymore and I wouldn't allow one anyways.

I was induced, with pitocin, and had an epi and couldn't even tell you how many stitches I had - maybe one or two? No big deal at all - I didn't know when it was happening. And I realize that's lucky.

Use that they give you - the peri bottle (bring both home if you have two bathrooms), the ice pads and the tucks pads.

jesicabrennan · May 2015

I did not tear and I pushed through an epidural. Honestly I can't take much credit though, my contractions had a very "odd" rhythm that allowed me to stretch out between contractions. I'd have one really intense long contraction with a shorter less intense contraction piggybacking on the intense one and then a LONG break (seriously doctors were twiddling their thumbs waiting for the next one) but the break let the head stretch things out as it got pushed a little farther each double contraction. I only pushed for 45 minutes and he was out with no tears.

emschmeid · May 2015

Induced post due date with an epidural. I did have an episiotomy which was a big fear for me. My delivering doctor was different than my regular OB due to call, but I trust he did what was best. DS was on his side with his hand over his face, so that may have been a factor. To be honest, this is what DH told me after the delivery. I just remember have a great L&D nurse and my husband supporting me through the push. That was my focus. So, even if it scares the beejeezus out of you, you might not even know it happened. Healing was a breeze, so I consider myself lucky there!

bpwife&mama · May 2015

I had an episiotomy because I was having a hard time pushing him out. Whether it be that or tearing, it may happen and you just have to accept it. It will heal and you will be back to normal. Unfortunately it can just be a part of the labor process we have to expect.

laylababe3 · May 2015

Thank you for your replies! Sounds like a natural tear might be the way to go. Still terrifying, but looks like recovery isn't too horrible.

This post is even making me rethink having an epi, I didn't realize how much it could keep your body from pushing naturally because you can't feel it. I like the idea of delayed pushing to stretch out during that sting while he crowns, an epi would make that impossible.

I never even considered a natural birth as the way to go, I'm not sure why. Probably just scared of the pain, although my tolerance for pain is pretty high.. Definitely lots lo think about and look into!

Thank you ladies again, you're a huge help!

MissusTexas · May 2015

I reallllly wish I'd tried harder for a natural birth last time for a lot of different reasons. I have a pretty low tolerance for pain but I'm determined to do it this time- I just keep reminding myself that epidurals are a modern thing and countless women haven given birth without them. You should research the benefits and decide what's best for you. GL!

ambah · May 2015

Most first time moms tear...I had a second degree tear and had no idea until they told me they were stitching me up. It healed and wasn't a big deal at all.
The epidural actually helped me...I went 7.5 hrs without it - my blood pressure got high, I stopped dilating and my water still had mot broke. I got the epidural and water broke righr away, blood pressure dropped and I dilated quickly. You can still feel yourself pushing, for me it was pressure feeling, not pain. I also knew when I was crowing cause of the pressure.
You will know day of what you want to do, my plan had been no epidural and Im so glad I changed my mind and got it.
You will do great either way!

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