Let's take a pause

mkcin2014 · May 2015

My husband and I have been trying the last three months. In this time period I have became very unhappy with my current work environment and have started applying to other jobs. I'm fairly confident that it will happen. As much as I want to become pregnant I know that this puts a whole other thing to deal with. We have insurance through my husband's company, so that is not a factor, but in order to qualify for FMLA you have to be employed for a year with any company. My husband is heartbroken that we have to wait again. I know that it could take up to a year for me to get pregnant. What is your advice on waiting or keep things moving along?

FemShep · May 2015

What kind of work do you do? In my experience, if you're an experienced professional, your company will often give you leave even if they aren't required to do so. They don't want to lose a great employee. However, you would likely not be covered by their short-term disability policy, so you may not have any income coverage while you're on leave. It's up to you whether or not that's a deal breaker.

For me, I would keep trying while looking for a new job. As you've said, you have no idea how long it will take you to get pregnant. And is an internal transfer an option? That may be the best of both worlds.

StarbucksShip · May 2015

That's a tough decision your facing and I think the only way to really determine the answer is to evaluate how bad your current job makes you feel, and then how long you can wait to try for a child. If you think you can reasonably tolerate your current position long enough to get through FMLA and start looking post-baby, maybe that's your answer. On the other hand, if you're experiencing above-average stress or hostility toward you, I don't think it would wise to stay, pregnant or otherwise!

There might be a third option for you though. Are you in a position where you could work through a pregnancy then quit after childbirth? A friend of mine did this, spent 6 months with her child, and then re-entered the workforce with a new company. Some caveats: she's in a high demand field, good economic area, and she and her husband had the means to handle the loss of income.

penelope4612 · May 2015

I guess the question is do you need the FMLA income or not? Of course it's always better to have 1/4 of your yearly income than not, but some people can make do without and some can't. If the answer is that you both really want a baby and could make it work without several months of income, then keep trying, and then if you're in a new job at the time that you give birth but don't have FMLA, you will just have to take unpaid leave. If losing 2-3 months of income would devastate you financially, then you probably need to either stop trying or stay at your current job.

Another caveat is, if you got pregnant immediately, do you want to be interviewing for new jobs pregnant? I know that can be a very uncomfortable for women, particularly if you work in a not family friendly or male dominated field.

jnnfrrose6 · May 2015

penelope4612 said:
I guess the question is do you need the FMLA income or not? Of course it's always better to have 1/4 of your yearly income than not, but some people can make do without and some can't. If the answer is that you both really want a baby and could make it work without several months of income, then keep trying, and then if you're in a new job at the time that you give birth but don't have FMLA, you will just have to take unpaid leave. If losing 2-3 months of income would devastate you financially, then you probably need to either stop trying or stay at your current job.

Another caveat is, if you got pregnant immediately, do you want to be interviewing for new jobs pregnant? I know that can be a very uncomfortable for women, particularly if you work in a not family friendly or male dominated field.

FMLA is not income. It is unpaid leave with a guarantee that your position, or one commiserate with it, will be available to you when you go back to work. So, the real issue is will they hold your job for you if you haven't been there a year. STD or other benefits are up to the employer to supply or not.

penelope4612 · May 2015

jnnfrrose6 said:

penelope4612 said:
I guess the question is do you need the FMLA income or not? Of course it's always better to have 1/4 of your yearly income than not, but some people can make do without and some can't. If the answer is that you both really want a baby and could make it work without several months of income, then keep trying, and then if you're in a new job at the time that you give birth but don't have FMLA, you will just have to take unpaid leave. If losing 2-3 months of income would devastate you financially, then you probably need to either stop trying or stay at your current job.

Another caveat is, if you got pregnant immediately, do you want to be interviewing for new jobs pregnant? I know that can be a very uncomfortable for women, particularly if you work in a not family friendly or male dominated field.

FMLA is not income. It is unpaid leave with a guarantee that your position, or one commiserate with it, will be available to you when you go back to work. So, the real issue is will they hold your job for you if you haven't been there a year. STD or other benefits are up to the employer to supply or not.

Sorry. FMLA is paid at my job and I just went through this whole song and dance due to concerns about having or not having a paycheck so I guess I over generalized my thought process. Massachusetts also requires that female employees be allowed to take 8 weeks of maternity leave after 6 months employment. So you might want to check if your state has any other laws in place.

jnnfrrose6 · May 2015

penelope4612 said:

jnnfrrose6 said:

penelope4612 said:
I guess the question is do you need the FMLA income or not? Of course it's always better to have 1/4 of your yearly income than not, but some people can make do without and some can't. If the answer is that you both really want a baby and could make it work without several months of income, then keep trying, and then if you're in a new job at the time that you give birth but don't have FMLA, you will just have to take unpaid leave. If losing 2-3 months of income would devastate you financially, then you probably need to either stop trying or stay at your current job.

Another caveat is, if you got pregnant immediately, do you want to be interviewing for new jobs pregnant? I know that can be a very uncomfortable for women, particularly if you work in a not family friendly or male dominated field.

FMLA is not income. It is unpaid leave with a guarantee that your position, or one commiserate with it, will be available to you when you go back to work. So, the real issue is will they hold your job for you if you haven't been there a year. STD or other benefits are up to the employer to supply or not.
Sorry. FMLA is paid at my job and I just went through this whole song and dance due to concerns about having or not having a paycheck so I guess I over generalized my thought process. Massachusetts also requires that female employees be allowed to take 8 weeks of maternity leave after 6 months employment. So you might want to check if your state has any other laws in place.

Lucky you. FMLA is a federally mandated law, so if your company chooses to pay during it, that's on them, but not technically part of FMLA. I know some states have additional laws for it too (looks like you're in one of them). When I got pregnant, I was the first in my company in many years, so I actually went to my bosses about the lack of any maternity policy beyond FMLA. They took a look at what others are doing and did implement something. It's not great (they cover the difference in STD so you can get your 100% for 6 weeks) but it's better than nothing.

vampbride99 · May 2015

I have recently been feeling the same way. We plan to ttc later this year and I am currently unhappy with my job. I'm considering looking for a new job myself. I understand how you feel. I suppose it depends on how bad you want to have children and how unhappy you are at your job? If your job stresses you immensely to the point of where there's hostility in the workplace, it might be best to find a new job first and then begin ttc. With that, of course, depending on the job and the resources/benefits you'd receive, that would determine when you could ttc after finding said job.

Otherwise if you can tolerate your job enough and it doesn't stress you out completely, then I would say to have the baby, and begin looking for a job afterwards.

mouse315 · May 2015

:Lurker here:

There is STD/maternity leave supplemental insurance that you might be able to get that will pay out for a leave even if your employer does not. It will not pay out if you give birth within 10 months of getting it or something like that. Just something else to look into.

StarbucksShip · May 2015

mouse315 said:

:Lurker here:

There is STD/maternity leave supplemental insurance that you might be able to get that will pay out for a leave even if your employer does not. It will not pay out if you give birth within 10 months of getting it or something like that. Just something else to look into.

Quick clarification because I just went through hoops about this a few weeks ago! STD insurance is not offered to individuals, but only through employers. There's hospital, critical illness or cancer; but no STD.

If your company is not currently offering STD, see if you can get them to wrangle some people together for the benefits. If they hem and haw, ask them if it's possible to have the benefits be voluntary (meaning you pay 100% of the premium). You need to be on the policy for at least 10 months before childbirth qualifies as an expense (so you can't sign up the day you find out you're pregnant). Depending on the premium amount you might prefer to just stockpile that money in a liquid savings account.

MNturnsVA · May 2015

I've been in the same boat. Been very unhappy at my job and have actually applied for multiple positions outside my employer and gotten called back for interviews. Very torn about what to do but other things in my life were not in the right place for me to leave my current employer, including baby timing. We've been married for almost 2 years, but together for almost 8 total. My baby fever has won over my want to seek employment elsewhere.

I would agree with the others, how long would be able to tough out the employment with current employers?

bsckgb7 · May 2015

So baby cooks for nine months. And FMLA applies after 1 year. So you have to stop "trying" for only 3-4 months. Start new job in June, get knocked up in September, FMLA eligible in June next year, baby due in June of the same year.

mouse315 · May 2015

purrbucket said:

mouse315 said:

:Lurker here:

There is STD/maternity leave supplemental insurance that you might be able to get that will pay out for a leave even if your employer does not. It will not pay out if you give birth within 10 months of getting it or something like that. Just something else to look into.

Quick clarification because I just went through hoops about this a few weeks ago! STD insurance is not offered to individuals, but only through employers. There's hospital, critical illness or cancer; but no STD.

If your company is not currently offering STD, see if you can get them to wrangle some people together for the benefits. If they hem and haw, ask them if it's possible to have the benefits be voluntary (meaning you pay 100% of the premium). You need to be on the policy for at least 10 months before childbirth qualifies as an expense (so you can't sign up the day you find out you're pregnant). Depending on the premium amount you might prefer to just stockpile that money in a liquid savings account.

Thanks for the clarification @purrbucket

Knottie40469736 · June 2015

I am going through the exact same thing. We are TTC for a month now, and I'm applying to other jobs. I haven't gotten any interviews yet. If I get a BFP, I will stop looking for another job. If I get a great job before a BFP, I will then discuss the situation with DH. It depends... if I can find a job making much more money and with better benefits and more happiness in the long run, then a few weeks without pay might be worth it. Nothing is guaranteed, so it can't hurt to keep your options open.

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Let's take a pause

Re: Let's take a pause

Married 8-9-14

Me 34 DH 33

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Hypothyroid

Married 8-9-14

Me 34 DH 33

TTC #1

Hypothyroid

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