At home daycares vs. public

HayesRN13 · May 2015

For those of us that are working moms and eventually are going to return to work, I thought I would start a discussion to hear others experience with at home daycares, vs a public daycare (like Phoenix schools.. Etc). I'm taking 6 months off, and I will only need LO to be there half days about twice a week. It's very stressful to think about leaving him at all, just want to make an informed decision.. Would love to hear thoughts and experiences! I love my career and although we could afford for me to not work, I would miss it too much so quitting is not an option for me (plus I think it's healthy for him to be around other children, and me around other adults

kherman14 · May 2015

I am open to all ears! ftm here. Cuz I need to Get a part time job!

ciennah99 · May 2015

Daycare is stressing me out too. Would like to hear others' thoughts on this as well. FTM also. Wish i could work less but can't afford it

AlyLynn07 · May 2015

I'm a STM and DS1 (21 mo) attends a public daycare the 3 days/week I'm at work. It was (IS) so hard to leave him. I definitely cried the first few weeks of drop-offs. Overall, though, he has done very well. He is a pretty laid- back, sociable, and adaptable guy and I think being in that environment is a big reason for it. He seems to enjoy being there and seeing all his buddies. I think it's also been good for him to have a change of pace between being there and at home so he doesn't get bored. For me, it's been great to be able to work in a career I love.. and be around other adults. And although I hate being away from him, it does make me appreciate and make the best of the time we do have together.

We talked about looking into a home daycare or Nanny, but felt like we didn't know anyone we could trust enough to be with our son or in our house. I know bad things can happen anywhere, but it just seemed like it was harder to verify the qualifications of a nanny/home daycare. It would be a nice option if you knew and were comfortable with them, but I still think being able to socialize with other kids is key! I will say, though, that DS1 has been sick a lot! He has only needed 1 antibiotic thus far, but these little guys certainly are germ factories and like to share them

Sammy K · May 2015

DS is in a center and LO will be when my 12 weeks are up. I was nervous about it, but honestly we love it. The pros to the center we are at:
-all meals meet federal dietary guidelines
-all staff have degrees in early childhood education
-no TV, movies, or screens of any kind
-no juice
-there is an age appropriate curriculum, so each day they read, do small and large motor skills, something science related, etc.
-they teach basic skills, like before DS was 2, he was clearing his own dishes, scraping leftovers in the trash, putting toys away, etc.
-they are outside every day the temp is above 32 degrees

Honestly, the do a better job than I could. DS likes it, he talks about his friends and is always happy to go back after long weekends and vacations. We get daily reports, monthly class newsletters, and a CD of pictures at the end of each year. It was definitely the right decision for us.

enigmaticjj · May 2015

FTM, so I don't have any experience to share. But we ended up going with public daycare (not saying home daycare's aren't good, this is just the choice we ended up going with). Here were my thoughts that lead to that decision...

I'm figuring/guessing a public daycare would have to be more accountable as opposed to a more informal at home daycare run by a person. I wouldn't expect either to be perfect, but I felt like a public daycare would be more concerned about their image and hence be more motivated to respond if there were complaints made, etc. But I've also had more bad luck than good luck when it comes to hiring small businesses for work than going with big businesses, so I'm sure that's a big part of my decision.
With a public daycare, generally speaking there's more control of who comes in and out of the place. But with a home daycare, who's to say other people living in that home don't have sketchy friends, etc who come in and out (not saying all employees at a public daycare are great, but at least they're supervised, etc). So basically, overall I feel like there's less control of the surroundings, even when it comes to items in the home and if the caretaker is spending most time watching TV or something.
Potential adult to child ratio. At least from what I've learned, the public daycare centers I looked at all had a ratio of one adult per four (max) babies. But with a home daycare, the caretaker may have more than four children to look after (and what if he/she wanted to take on more children to look after...if you're aware of that and don't want that, you'd need to find another daycare).

Now if we knew and trusted someone near us who could take care of our baby (and assuming it would be cheaper than public daycare), we'd totally go for it. But we don't, and we found a public daycare very close by that had very easy viewing into the various rooms (basically the walls along the hall were all window). So I feel like the caretakers would be less likely to slack off since anyone walking by will see them (and I could swing by and spy a bit if I wanted to keep them on their feet I suppose).

Edit...this search for daycare was definitely stressful, especially as people chose to tell you their unsolicited opinions and horror stories.

sideboth · May 2015

I am a STM and a working mom. My son was in a home daycare starting at six months. I initially went the nanny route but I just couldn't justify leaving my child alone with someone. I wanted someone with experience with a child. I also wanted my child to be around other children. I went with a neighborhood home day care. She had a small group and had been the go to home day care for over 20 years. Her house was lovely. She and I shared the same parenting philosophy. The kids had fun at her house and she had a waiting list. My son was with her for three years and he truly thought of her as a third parent. With this child, we will probably do a nanny share or a home day care again. Good luck.

Melindafuller34 · May 2015

My son will be in daycare when my 12 weeks are up. All of my children started daycare as babies. Due to daycare center being more dependable than. Home daycare & people claiming they can watch your child but don't really want to. I did pick a daycare that has the cameras so you can watch on your phone or computer while at work.

Sammy K · May 2015

We also like the accountability of a center. All kids and adults have to be up to date on vaccines, too. Child to adult ratios vary by state, but I know here that at a center it is 4:1. For at home care, it's 7:1 but only 4 can be under the age of 2. I was uncomfortable with that.

Finding daycare is not fun. Good luck to those of you who don't have it locked down. The good news is that most centers give siblings priority so if you're having more than one, you won't have to deal with this again!

auburnmamma · May 2015

DS1 was in a center and this one will be as well. Home daycare didn't seem as reliable. What do you do if the provider is sick, needs to go to the doctor, or take a vacation?

We were very happy with our center experience and accountability. They thought DS so much.

bartonolivia · May 2015

I work at a nursery in a public daycare and I absolutely love the babies in there as well as their parents. We listen to specific things that the parents want and make sure that their kids are being cared for the right way. My son will be attending the daycare that I work at. I refuse to bring my child to a home daycare due to some of my severe personal experiences as a child... Not saying that all home daycares are bad but I lost a lot of trust with them after this major issue had occured. This was not an issue with the home daycare owner but with a certain person who lived in the house with her and she was not aware of the situation at all.

Frogger5 · May 2015

Is there three different set ups going on here (home, public, and center) or are center and public the same thing and using "public" is a regional thing or something?

Our decision making process was almost the same as @enigmaticjj's. I like that our chosen center (please please let there really be a spot open in February!) is big, with lots of adults (staff and parents) walking around all of the time. I know people can still do shady things, but it seems less likely to me, and that makes me more comfortable. Also don't have to worry about one person's reliability or health. It's definitely more expensive, but I'm willing to make that trade off.

I remember a while ago we had a thread about how much infant care costs, and it just makes me nervous to hear some of the low rates.

But seriously, you guys, if you don't have a plan set and want some options, get going! I wasn't exactly surprised because I'd been told, but these centers (around here at least) fill up and waiting lists of over a year are not uncommon. Not to add any stress of course

.

KonaCoffeeBean · May 2015

My husband is an affiliate scientist at a federal laboratory, so we are going with the child care on the federal campus. It's crazy secure; if you do not have a federal security clearance, then you cannot get on the campus. Nutritional, supervision, and curriculum standards all seem pretty high. As a trade off, it's pretty expensive, and they will not do cloth diapering. A good friend of mine is able to 100% cloth, because the home daycare she uses is fine with it.

enigmaticjj · May 2015

@Frogger5, I interpreted public daycare meant the same as a daycare center.

Another childcare option would be if you wanted to hire someone to come to your home to take care of your children (and not others). I know someone who has had great luck with that (she found someone she trusted and had good references and has used her for several years). Of course she is restricted when the nanny is sick, but she has a flexible job. I'm thinking this option would end up pretty pricey though.

Frogger5 · May 2015

KonaCoffeeBean said:
My husband is an affiliate scientist at a federal laboratory, so we are going with the child care on the federal campus. It's crazy secure; if you do not have a federal security clearance, then you cannot get on the campus. Nutritional, supervision, and curriculum standards all seem pretty high. As a trade off, it's pretty expensive, and they will not do cloth diapering. A good friend of mine is able to 100% cloth, because the home daycare she uses is fine with it.

Boo about the unwillingness to do cloth diapering. You might still try to bring it up, though - I've heard sometimes you can convince them to do a trial, even at bigger institutions. All in ones are just as easy as disposable, and if you bring a clean wet bag daily . . . well, you might at least see if there's any wiggle room. Sometimes providers will say they aren't legally allowed due to hygiene requirements or whatever, but there's usually a way around it if they want to - but they probably don't want to bother!

marissajuneb · May 2015

I've never posted before, but this is something I actually have experience in. :-) I have worked in many public daycare centers, and after DD comes I plan to start caring for children in my home as we can't afford daycare on what I earn working in one. My advice would be to seek out a non-profit center where possible--employees tend to be better educated and stay for longer, and conditions are better when they aren't worried about making obscene money for company owners. If that isn't an option, try to tour centers at several different times of day, and pay more attention to what you see than what the tour guide says. Ask about turnover!
In-home daycare is much cheaper, they are generally more willing to work with you as far as specific diapering, feeding, and napping requests, and there is the perk of your child being with the same caregiver for a longer period of time. There are definitely sketchy ones out there, so tours are still very important and I would try to drop by unannounced at least once.
The bottom line is that the majority of people working in child care have good hearts and will genuinely love your child, it just comes down to finding a place that you feel comfortable and that will try their best to match your parenting philosophy. :-) There are horror stories about any type of care, but with careful research you can eliminate a lot of worry.

KaLikeAWind · May 2015

Thanks @marissajuneb!

katelinmillikin · May 2015

I have worked in the infant room of a daycare center for the past 4 1/2 years and I may just be used to it but I would defiantly prefer a center over in home unless you know the person and can trust the person. My daughter will start at my daycare when she is 8 weeks old.. Some things I would look for are the web cams, the way the classes are set up and you can also look up the record of the daycare such as how many times they have been written up by licensing.. We have the web cams in our daycare that the parents can log into on their phones or computers.. Also daycare centers require employes to be fingerprinted and have a current background check.. The state licensing drops in unannounced and checks to make sure each room is following the laws and that all employee background checks and paper work is up to date.. Home daycare I don't think have to follow that.. Also centers have to follow nutrition laws and health laws about kids not coming in if they are sick which helps cut down sickness spreading a little bit.. Yes they still spread germs.. But it helps a little. They are required to spend a certain amount of time outside when they get older, weather permitting, and have laws about TV time. Their are laws about curriculum which can licensing also checks when they come to visit. If you have any questions I will be happy to answer if I can

HayesRN13 · May 2015

Great info here..thanks for replies!

HoosOnFirst · May 2015

Want to dispel some rumors. At least in MA, in home providers need to abide by most if not all the same laws as a center, including education (CPR etc), unannounced visits from the state, child to adult ratios and background checks. While we would have liked a center, we are going with an in home for cost and flexibility reasons - when you have a one on one relationship the person seems more willing to handle work emergencies and other similar issues. We do anticipate moving our LO to a center after a year or two, when curriculum is more important. And we did do visits of all the daycare a before choosing our provider, who had many referrals.

I think both centers and in-home providers have pluses and minuses but this thread seemed a little one-sided so I wanted to stick up for all the wonderful individuals who make this their living in their homes.

valeriemarie24 · May 2015

My MIL will most likely be watching our LO when I have to return to work, since she does not work.
But my brother and I went to a public daycare centre. They were great with me, but with my brother being autistic they didn't treat him very well and didn't know how to handle his behaviour/mannerisms. I'm sure not all public daycares are like this, but home daycares have fewer children and I feel like that may be better for getting more individual attention for any child. But I also am a FTM so I don't know, that's just given the experience my family had.

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