Community› The Bump Message Boards› Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Discussion

Waiting is Agony

AndreaKLJohnsonAndreaKLJohnson member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
It's the NOT knowing that's the hardest part.
My hcg levels dropped over a 48 hr period. At 7w 5 days, baby measured 7w but no heartbeat was detected (abdominal ANd transvaginal). 2nd ultrasound on Tuesday to confirm. You read online about how levels go up and heartbeats are difficult to detect...but, after 2 healthy pregnancies, then one natural mc at 6w last year, I feel like a ticking time bomb. I need to grieve. I need to accept...but I have to wait until Tuesday to start the acceptance process.
What do I do? How do I cope?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Waiting is Agony

  • rachrobertsonrachrobertson member
    I am sorry you are going through this. I found out on a Monday that I was having a mmc and didn't have my d&c until that Friday. I felt the same, that I couldn't fully start to heal emotionally until all the physical part was over. That was a long week but luckily DH was able to take the week off and keep me busy. I also looked up all the different options that I would have to induce mc vs. Natural vs. D&c which made me feel better about my decision. Everyone is different and I hope you find a way to keep your mind busy until you feel you can start to heal.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • AndreaKLJohnsonAndreaKLJohnson member
    Thank you for that.
    Report Reply
  • jessicalacey1226jessicalacey1226 member
    I went last week for my first u/s. I was 7 weeks 2 days. My ob warned me that we might not see the heartbeat because I was still early. But it was there and strong. Baby measured just over 6 weeks. I had a few incidents of spotting and bleeding prior to that appointment but my docs kept saying it was normal. So when I had more bleeding this weekend and called the office just so they could have it on record, I was shocked to hear the nurse say they were going to have me come in that day. When I went Tuesday, the OB (a different one from last time) had a hard time finding the baby at first and when he did, there was no heartbeat and baby was measuring 7 weeks. At first he started talking about a D&C then asked if I'd rather wait a week to come back for another u/s to be safe. Umm, yes! Something just still doesn't feel right about the situation. So I'm going to have another u/s with the ob who did my first. I'm still prepping myself for the worst, but I'm in the same boat. This waiting game is horrible! I'm so on edge that I could pass the baby at anytime. I'm also just trying to process the what if of going back next week and finding out everything is ok. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. And to make matters worse, hubby is away for work until Saturday. Prayers for peace of mind, patience and guidance during this time!
    Report Reply
  • tango4mangotango4mango member
    I was in the same boat, we heard a heart beat, not strong but we thought it was because my dates were off by a few weeks, 2 wk later we went in to make sure they could see and a good heart beat, and it had already shrunk back down, then we waited another 2 weeks before hubby and I decided the only way to move on fir us was D&C the longer we waited the less sleep we both got and the sadder we were. Good luck to you i know the wait is killer, try to keep busy and attempt to keep ur mind off of it
    Report Reply
  • whitneydpcwhitneydpc member
    Ugh, I'm so sorry to everyone going through this! Regarding the original question of what to do and how to cope, I don't think there's any right or wrong answer.  Looking back on my two miscarriages, I feel like the first 1-2 weeks afterwards were a bad dream, and I think you just have to do whatever you can to get through the day.  Talking to a therapist might help. 
    Report Reply
  • twointow83twointow83 member
    I know how you feel. I was saying the exact same things not too long ago. It is torture to try to grieve what you lost, when you technically are still pregnant. Even after it doesn't get much easier if you get testing done. I have been in a waiting pattern for 22 days now. First for the D&C, then for the chromosome testing on the baby, now waiting on chromosome testing on Hubby and I and autoimmune test results on myself... I am ready to be able to move forward, have the puzzle as complete as possible and grieve instead of asking myself a million questions and imagining a million scenarios. I am hoping once we know all that we can know that we can go forward with a better understanding of what happened and why... hoping it will be easier to swallow and deal if we can understand the whys of it all. Hang in there (((HUGS))) hopefully the light at the end of your tunnel is jut around the corner.
    Kristie
    Mom to 2 earth angels (2006,2010) and 2 angels in heaven (2009- 20w 5d; cause unknown, 2015- 7w4d; trisomy 22).
    imageimage

    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"