March 2015 Moms

Dreading Daycare

It's always been the plan that I would go back to work after taking 12 weeks of leave, but lately I have been FREAKING OUT about leaving the baby at daycare. I've been increasingly anxious about it, and questioning whether I should return to work at all. For those moms who have made the transition back to work, do you have any tips on how to stay sane leaving your little one? Does it get easier? Has anyone changed their mind and decided to become a stay at home mom? Any advice on how you've transitioned back to full time work would be appreciated!

Re: Dreading Daycare

  • I know how you feel! With my first I did it when he was 1 and it was hard at first, but I was really happy with the daycare I chose and he's now 5 and has done amazing there! With my baby now, I had to go back at 6 weeks and at first I was nervous but again I found an amazing daycare that I was comfortable with and he's adjusted fine and been doing great! It's actually helped him with sleeping in the crib and getting on somewhat of a routine. I personally have enjoyed going back to work and him going to daycare. I think it's all about finding the right daycare for your baby and you.... The downside is the amount of money it costs but hey that's life lol
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  • I had to go back to work at 6 weeks. It was rough but it was what I had to do for our family. The first three weeks we had grandparents watch DD at home until we could get her vaccinated and then Monday last week we started daycare. It was easier to transition that way for me. Just knowing we have a great daycare is helping me. I am however a teacher so I only have to work until June 3rd and then I'm off until August 13th. It's been easy knowing that when I went back to work I only had to work for 7 weeks. Just trust that it will be easier with time. Also call throughout the day. My daycare is wonderful and allows calls all day long! I am usually super busy once my students get in the room that I don't have time to think about anything until the end of the day when it's time to get her. If you feel nervous maybe see if you could go in and try half a day at daycare so you can run errands to test it out.
  • Ugh, I know!!!!! Do you know what has been ripping me up inside about this daycare thing? First laughs could happen at daycare. First crawl, first steps, first words? I could miss it! That is awful!!! Have you considered going down to part time? I moved down to four days a week.
  • asmoleyasmoley member
    I agree with pp that it kills thinking about firsts happening at daycare, but we found an amazing in home daycare and she sends pics and allows us to text or call all day. It really has helped put him on a schedule. I have my husband drop him off at daycare bc that's the one thing I would not be able to handle.
  • Ugh, I know!!!!! Do you know what has been ripping me up inside about this daycare thing? First laughs could happen at daycare. First crawl, first steps, first words? I could miss it! That is awful!!! Have you considered going down to part time? I moved down to four days a week.

    Whhhhy!! ? I was already having a hard time before I even thought of that part!

    Thanks a lot. Haha
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  • murrayce said:

    It's always been the plan that I would go back to work after taking 12 weeks of leave, but lately I have been FREAKING OUT about leaving the baby at daycare. I've been increasingly anxious about it, and questioning whether I should return to work at all. For those moms who have made the transition back to work, do you have any tips on how to stay sane leaving your little one? Does it get easier? Has anyone changed their mind and decided to become a stay at home mom? Any advice on how you've transitioned back to full time work would be appreciated!

    My plan was to take 6 weeks and return to work and take the other 6 weeks later. I'm now on my 8th week home. About a week after my son was born, I decided I didn't want to go back to work, but was worried my husband wouldn't agree to it. He felt the same way I did! Once I met him, I couldn't imagine leaving him. There are a lot of bad things I've been hearing on the news about daycares in Los Angeles. I just couldn't bring myself to leave him with strangers, unable to tell me if something happened to him. So we decided I would stay home. We haven't told anyone yet. I'm worried about what his parents will say. They keep asking about work and when I'll go back and what we decided about daycare. I hope it all works out, for me and you. Be sure to make an informed decision on what you feel comfortable with. Good luck!

  • I start sending my LO to daycare in just a few weeks and I'm dreading it too. :(

    She'll be 10 weeks old when she goes. My heart is breaking. I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her. It makes me sad to think that she isn't going to get as much love at daycare. They have 17 in the infant room with 3 teachers. Is that crazy or normal?
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  • That's crazy. Our infant room is a 4:1 ratio.
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  • Ours is 3:1! I would die with that many babies to so few teachers!
  • Ugh, I know!!!!! Do you know what has been ripping me up inside about this daycare thing? First laughs could happen at daycare. First crawl, first steps, first words? I could miss it! That is awful!!! Have you considered going down to part time? I moved down to four days a week.

    You know what I did I asked the daycare not to tell me. It's not worth the emotional toll it would take on me. She will do it for me and I will consider it the first time :)
  • akj166akj166 member
    I didn't think it would effect me...but it definitely is starting to. We went to visit ours again last week because I have been second guessing our decision. I'm trying to be logical about it as opposed to emotional. I enjoy working and we need both incomes in order to enjoy the lavish lifestyle we live. I'm not looking forward to dropping LO off on the first day. We did however choose to ease into it sending her 3 days in the am only before adjusting full time. Also, I go back to work on a Thursday so I'm hoping looking forward to the weekend will help:)
  • You will have to let me know how it goes!! This is my last week of maternity leave. Can you guys believe how fast the time flies? Just remember lots of good moms send their kids to daycare and kids do wonderful in the right environment. @klcain19 , having her not tell me... That's a fabulous idea.. Maybe that's what I will have her do.
  • edited May 2015

    That's crazy. Our infant room is a 4:1 ratio.

    klcarr19 said:

    Ours is 3:1! I would die with that many babies to so few teachers!

    Ugh! The school has a good name and really good reviews, but now I'm not so sure. It's so nerve wrecking to find the right one. :(
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  • Mic512Mic512 member
    Check what the law in your state requires on ratios - many states (I know VA's is 4:1) have limits on how many babies per teacher. It gets easier but the first week is hard. Having hubby do drop off definetly helps but everything is readier once you have a routine. DS loved his daycare before I started staying home with him when we moved.
  • It was hard, but got easier for me. I love my job. Thinking about the firsts does suck, but I love my daycare and I know it really benefits her to be around the teachers and around the other kids. I dreaded going back so much, but as soon as I was here (and I knew this would be the case), it was fine! It's like teachers dreading the end of summer. When school does start back up, it's fine- the anticipation is the toughest thing I think. :)

    I also think back to my childhood. I spent tons of time at daycare and then after school care. I never felt like I didn't see my parents enough or anything like that. I was certainly glad to see them at the end of the work day, but that's all. I think that helps me feel better about working!
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  • It does get easier.  With my first, my husband stayed home my first days back to work. Then, unfortunately, when our son started daycare the following week my husband was out of town for work, so it was all on me!! :(  DS did great though and is now two in the same daycare and is thriving.  2 years later baby girl arrived and is at the same daycare (daddy stayed with her my first days back to work too).  I was better about dropping her off, but I already knew the teachers in her room & knew they were all going to be great.  The hardest part is leaving your LO with anyone, but I just look forward to seeing them at the end of the day and make sure to give each one special one on one time and attention.

    I agree with others about having daycare not tell you when the 'firsts' happen.  I saw what I considered to be the first steps, crawl, roll and words.  They were the first time I saw/heard them, and they were special to me.  The feeling of excitement you get when you witness them for the first time takes away any feelings of wondering if they truly were the 'firsts'.  They were my firsts, and that's all the mattered.


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