When to relocate for birth

Serenamarr · May 2015

Looking for opinions, ladies.

I am due June 12, 37 weeks, FTM. I will be delivering at the hospital in my hometown because my father is employed there and my insurance is through him (It's a lot of travel but is worth it- I won't be billed for anything and haven't been throughout the entire pregnancy). My fiancé and I live about two and a half hours away, and the plan is that as we get closer to my due date, I will relocate to my mom's house (5 mins from hospital) and stay there until I recover and feel comfortable returning home with baby. Hubby will be back and forth for work while I am here, but mostly won't be around.

I get along beautifully with my mom, and my step dad is also great. She is retiring as of June 1st so she will be home most of the time and able to help me get adjusted to BFing and caring for baby so I'm not doing it alone when hubs is not in town. I figure that I will know when I feel comfortable returning home after baby is born, but my question is how early should I relocate to her home prior to labor?

Factors to consider:

-I don't want to overstay my welcome at my mom's. She waves this concern away, but if I come up a week before my due date, birth a week late, and stay two weeks post partum, that's an entire month!

-My dog would come along with me, who my mom loves, but he can be a pain.

-I would like to be separated from hubs for as little time as possible.

-hubby is concerned that if I stay too long at our apartment, he might be out of town at a meeting when I go into labor and take an hour or two to get to me, and then it is 2.5 hours to the hospital.

-laboring for two hours in the car wouldn't be ideal. Especially with a high anxiety dog crawling on my lap

-I'm just not as comfortable at my mom's as I am at home. I don't have my food, my tv, my bed etc.

-My midwife said baby is on the small side and she would be surprised if I went early, I have only had Braxton Hicks twice and they were barely anything, still have my mucus plug, and baby hasn't dropped.

Sorry this is so long- if you made it through I thank you, truly! Just wanted some other opinions because the only ones I have are hub's (paranoid and wants me to stay at my mom's as of June 1st!) and my mom's (who is I think lonely and wants me to come up asap!).

Edit to make the question a little clearer: I know I am risking going into labor anytime. I guess its mostly a question of, at what point does the risk of going into labor outweigh my desire to stay in my own apartment?

Raymer2 · May 2015

My first was on the small side and I went into labor with her at 37.2 weeks and honestly labor can literally happen any time now without notice or symptoms. It's better to be safe than sorry. GL with everything!

mishmardhiono · May 2015

I was living 2 hours away from my husband & hospital for work up until the other day when I relocated back to where my husband/hospital is. It's a much better feeling knowing your not screwed if you go into labour early. I'd recommend relocating ASAP to give your mind a break. I really didn't notice the toll it was taking on my mind until I was back here.

mamayo26 · May 2015

Have you discussed this with your doctor, has your dr (or mid wife...whatever) done an internal have you shown any progress or developed any labor signs? I think these would play into your decision a little bit, but like other posts said you need to do whatever will set your mind at ease...plus you may be surprised at how early you want to return home after the birth...this is my second and a planned c/s and I have been pleading with my OB to discharge me from the hospital as soon as humanly possible (assuming all is ok with me and the baby).

I would discuss it with your doctor and your hubby and mom and decide what is best from there.

Kresla · May 2015

Go as early as you can and trust your gut. You will know when it's time to go to your parents. If it were me, I would go June 1st. Better safe than sorry.

KaLikeAWind · May 2015

I get wanting to be in your own space (I LOVE my own space) but if mom doesn't mind you coming, I guess why not just go ahead and go? I had to hurrication (that's using your vacation time because of a hurricane) at my moms for some time, and I DID want to go back home, but on the other hand, after the first 3 or so days the novelty of me being there wore off for her and I was pretty much able to float around the joint as I pleased. I slept late, wandered up to eat, then disappeared for a couple of hours into my room to watch TV or eat and spend time with my kittehs (they were not allowed anywhere except that one room). It became fairly routine. Sure, I wanted to go home, but it wasn't as bad as all that.
And yes, the situation IS different, as you're there waiting to have a baby, which makes it so much more weighted. But, you're already at 37 weeks. Baby is at term. I would definitely discuss with your Dr, but I don't see the harm in going soon. I doubt mom will get tired of you being there. Good luck!

Serenamarr · May 2015

mamayo26 said:
Have you discussed this with your doctor, has your dr (or mid wife...whatever) done an internal have you shown any progress or developed any labor signs? I think these would play into your decision a little bit, but like other posts said you need to do whatever will set your mind at ease...plus you may be surprised at how early you want to return home after the birth...this is my second and a planned c/s and I have been pleading with my OB to discharge me from the hospital as soon as humanly possible (assuming all is ok with me and the baby).
I would discuss it with your doctor and your hubby and mom and decide what is best from there.

No signs of labor, and haven't had an internal (because it essentially is meaningless). I discussed it with my midwife and she didn't have a problem with me staying at my apartment because she said the fastest first time labor she has ever seen was 6 hours so she had no doubt about me making it--I'm thinking I'll see how I feel at my June 1st appointment and decide then if I will stay or wait another week?

Serenamarr · May 2015

@mellymar also realizing I may be in a bit of denial that this could literally happen any moment. Holy sh*t I'm 37 weeks!!!!!!

Eta: it just sunk in when I read your comment!

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2015

Am a FTM, but I offer this:

I've had a very easy pregnancy (knock on wood). But almost overnight, I am starting to get really uncomfortable by evening (am 38 weeks today). Four weeks ago, I did a six hour hike - so I am not a wimp! But even for me now, the idea of being in a car for 2.5 hours would be rough. I could make it fine, but it would totally wipe me out.
I am only realizing this after seeing my body's reaction to being on my feet at the zoo all day yesterday. I was completely miserable last night. (I know that's different than a car ride - but my point is, for me, things have shifted. Am now in official Take It Easy mode, which literally happened overnight.)

So I say listen to your body. Be honest with yourself. If/when you notice you have shifted to being pretty uncomfortable, Go. That happened for me at 38 weeks. If I was answering this last week, I'd be like, "labor in the car, so what" lol

Good luck! Hope it works out well and you get to be comfortable for as long as possible, whatever you decide.

KaLikeAWind · May 2015

Serenamarr said:
@mellymar also realizing I may be in a bit of denial that this could literally happen any moment. Holy sh*t I'm 37 weeks!!!!!!

Eta: it just sunk in when I read your comment!

Yeah, I was talking to my sister yesterday and she was like omg you're 36 weeks,.I better send my stuff... and I was like 'holy sh*t - my mom had my sister at 37 weeks and my sister had the twins already by now...holy sh*t'. I feel ya. @amark11 has a great point. Listen to your body.

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