When to tell (Clicky Poll)

Melaina25 · January 2009

Just curious. Feel free to reply and elaborate...

[Poll]

MrsCrys · January 2009

I'm not a private person, but I will be about this. I know way too many people who have miscarried. No one knows we are TTC and I would be upset if anyone found out. I just don't want the pressure.

So probably 8 weeks for our parents, 12 for everyone else? Something like that.

sare_bear · January 2009

we are waiting until the 20th after our first appt. i'll be around 7 weeks

Melaina25 · January 2009

I'm similar. Only my BFF knows and I didn't tell her until the end of my first cycle when AF took her sweet ass time and I was annoyed.

I live an ocean away from my parents and would want to be as sure as possible before telling them.

Rogue Lily · January 2009

I'll tell family and a few friends after h/b, all friends after 1st tri, and wont tell co-workers until it is obvious and I am showing.

imaPrincess · January 2009

It depends on who we are talking about. I have had 2 m/c that were at 9 weeks and at 11.5 weeks. We heard a heart beat with both of them. I'm going to be very cautious this time around. Once we see the baby and hear the HB we will tell our parents (and make sure they don't tell anyone). I am waiting until I know for sure until we tell anyone else. Probably not until 12-14 weeks, probably longer.

Except you girls of course! I couldn't keep it a secret from you guys!

kellynn1231 · January 2009

Fore most people we'll wait the 12 weeks. But, since I have DH that can't keep secrets to save his life- I am sure some people will know before then.

I'm telling anyone other than some close girlfriends that we are trying, but he keeps telling everyone!

mooeta · January 2009

I'll tell my mom right away, but I'll tell everyone else after the first Tri.

Pamela05 · January 2009

We'll probably tell families and very close friends when we can actually see a baby growing on the u/s. I know very well the risk of early m/c (going through #2) and it was helpful for my mom, bff and sister to know so I could ask questions.

Work won't find out until I am showing.

Sarahp63 · January 2009

I will tell my mom, dad, and sister right away. DH will tell his whole side of the world because he is all gung-ho about this. Other than that I will wait until we hear the heartbeat since I miscarried at 5 weeks.

sare_bear · January 2009

I told my 2 best friends the day I got a BFP. they both knew we were trying. DH told his BF too

Lizard2022 · January 2009

I'm just not good at keeping secrets. We were supposed to be keeping TTC on the down low and 3 cycles later, everyone already knows. I'm going to be honest and admit I'll be a big mouth.

LnR70707 · January 2009

No one knows we are TTC since we are still at the let's see what happens point, but it looks as though we'll have to start actively trying. My parents will know right away and so will the ladies on my reg. board (laugh away). I would rather not tell H's family until we hear a heart beat, and most friends won't know until close to the end of the 1st tri., unless it becomes too obvious.

JennlovesAustin · January 2009

I don't know... I guess I am a bit different. I won't tell EVERYONE, but if I m/c I really do want the support of my family and a few of my close co-workers. I work in a really alcohol-centric position and usually drink 3 or so times per week so most people are going to notice immediately I think. I hate keeping secrets so I still deciding where to draw the line.

mrsmel · January 2009

we are waiting until after my 10 week appt on 1/19. we've already seen the heartbeat, but i'd love to hear it, too.

Melaina25 · January 2009

JennlovesAustin:
I I work in a really alcohol-centric position and usually drink 3 or so times per week so most people are going to notice immediately I think. I hate keeping secrets so I still deciding where to draw the line.

What is your job that you have to drink?

JennlovesAustin · January 2009

Melaina25:

JennlovesAustin:
I I work in a really alcohol-centric position and usually drink 3 or so times per week so most people are going to notice immediately I think. I hate keeping secrets so I still deciding where to draw the line.

What is your job that you have to drink?

JennlovesAustin · January 2009

Melaina25:

JennlovesAustin:
I I work in a really alcohol-centric position and usually drink 3 or so times per week so most people are going to notice immediately I think. I hate keeping secrets so I still deciding where to draw the line.

What is your job that you have to drink?

I definitely don't HAVE TO drink... I just said the position is "alcohol-centric". I am a product manager and my job consists of taking customers and salesmen out to wine and dine them. It's absolutely fine if I don't drink, but I have been doing this for a year and a half and have been drinking so it will be noticable if all of a sudden I just totally stop. I hate lying so I would just prefer to pass on the booze and tell them I am pregnant so they don't push the issue.

Graciesue · January 2009

We waited until after our 11 week appt. when we heard the heartbeat and plan to do the same the next time around. We also waited to tell our parents so they didn't have to keep the secret.

MegsInWales49 · January 2009

I would tell my mom, sister, brother, and best friend pretty soon after finding out. I know they would keep quiet about it, and if anything did happen, I would want their support in dealing with it.

Meegs10.13.06 · January 2009

I just got my BFP this past weekend. We told our closest friends, about 5 people total.

My parents will find out in February when I'm going to see them anyway (since I really want to tell them in person), we're not sure about his parents yet.

Everyone else will wait until after the first ultrasound at 12 weeks.

Temp984666312503071 · January 2009

With my first pregnancy we told right away. I lost that baby at 10 weeks.

This pregnancy we told after we had seen both heartbeats 3 different times. Unfortunately, I just lost one of them on Tuesday (again, at about 10 weeks).

In the future I will probably wait until the end of the first trimester. I have had the unfortunate experience twice now of getting ahead of myself and then having to give bad news .

News like this spreads whether we want it to or not (even if we tell only a select few people). I told a few close friends and before I knew it people were asking me about any "news". My mom (bless her heart) can't keep good news to herself.

It is a really personal decision. Just make sure the people you tell early are people who would support you if you lost the baby. Pregnancy is just so unpredictable and nothing is certain.

QCinOct · January 2009

will probably tell immediate family and some really close friends (and of course, you guys) right when I get a BFP. The others will wait.

berryblndgirl · January 2009

I will likely tell my mom and best friend right away. I'm not sure when we'll tell DH's family, since I'm leaving that up to him. Everyone else, we'll probably wait until at least 12 weeks.

TarheelsInNJ · January 2009

Most of our close friends and family are in North Carolina (we live in NYC), so if possible we'd like to tell them in person. We have a trip planned for mid-May, so depending on when I get pregnant we may wait until then.

But regardless, will wait until we hear a heartbeat to tell anyone, and probably 12 weeks for people at work.

Missy0708 · January 2009

Definitely waiting until into 2nd tri to tell people...after having 3 m/cs I can't imagine having to tell everyone the bad news....again...

Will tell my Mom and close friends right away though...since I will need their support if god forbid I have a m/c again

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