35 and TTC... (child mentioned and loss)

Kimc312 · May 2015

Hopefully I will get this post right, as my last didn't go over to well. I'm 35 and TTC after a tubal reversal. I have 2 children 14 and 10 which were unexpected pregnancies when I was very young (Failed BC hence tying of the tubes) I have been remarried for 8 years now and we have been TTC since Nov of last year. I had a chemical pregnancy just last week. I don't have an RE in my area (closest one is over 3 hours away) so I have resorted to using the OB who untied my tubes. He said that the CP is a good thing. It means my tubes are open and pregnancy is possible. I just can't wrap my head around how this is a good thing just yet. I was hoping for someone who may have gone through or knows someone who has gone through this process before and may have some supporting words of advice. I have so many questions but at this point i'm afraid to ask any of them due to being a newbie and getting hate replies on what all I did wrong or didn't do to optimize our chances of getting pregnant sooner due to my AMA. I feel like charting will make me obsessive (as if i'm not already obsessive enough!) DH always says just relax, when its time it will happen. Any thoughts or success stories out there?

rspalding001 · May 2015

Hey there and welcome

first just try and relax. This is a pretty mellow board and I doubt you will get any mean or aggressive replays to your questions. That's part if the good thing about being over 35, we are mature enough to not respond like teenage girls

so ask away!

I have also had a couple CPs and yes they are a good sign. It's still hard though so don't feel bad if you feel bad about it happening. It's normal to have a grieving process. One if the good thing about a CP is you can start trying again right away. No need to bench yourself since your body took care if it naturally.

I hope your stay here is short, good luck!

hooligans4 · May 2015

Welcome. True we are a mellower board than most others but it's good to just read our welcome message and read through some older posts to get a feel for the board.
I've had a CP as well as a MC at 7 weeks so I understand your loss. My CP was much easier to process than my other loss but that's just my experience.
Have you had an HSG to make sure your tubes are open? They are done at any radiology office. That would be one of the first things an RE would check.
You can ask your questions but keep in mind that ever woman's body is different so what worked or happens to one will always be different for another.
Some of us have been ttc for a very long time (ME) so knowledge is aplenty here.

Kimc312 · May 2015

Thank you both very much! We are going to try again as soon as DH returns from work (he is gone a month for work then home the next month). I have been using my OB since I don't have a local RE and just learned from reading here that OPK's aren't as reliable as my OB lead me to believe. I also had no idea Clomid had a 6 cycle lifetime max. These things concern me as I will be starting my 4th round of clomid next month when DH comes home. Maybe I should make the drive and see a RE. Our time is already cut in half due to his work schedule so I would like to optimize our chances as much as I can while we are able to. I was going to do my first round of IUI last month but I O'd on a Saturday and my OB wouldn't do the procedure over the weekend. He wanted me to wait until Monday afternoon and I felt that was too late. Do you think OPK's are reliable if you don't chart BBT?

FemShep · May 2015

Hi and welcome!

I think you may be overreacting to the responses you received on TTGP. It's a no-nonsense board, and the same questions get posted pretty much every day. You got great advice there (read the "Tell a Newbie Anything" post, buy a copy of TCOFY, start charting, make sure you're under the supervision of an RE if you're using clomid), and the ladies are usually very welcoming to a newbie who acknowledges the advice she receives and goes on to contribute to the forum.

OPKs can be misleading because you can have multiple surges during a cycle, and just because you have an LH surge does not mean you ovulate. I had two sets of positive OPKs last cycle, but ovulated on the second surge.

There are options besides Clomid if you're not ovulating, but it sounds like that may not be your problem? If the challenge was reversing your surgery, I'm wondering why you went right to Clomid. I'm not an expert, but your doctor should be able to confirm that your tubes are open without having you take a medicine with some pretty serious side effects. I'd make the drive and go to the RE, but be warned that the RE may not see you until you've been trying for 6 months. I'm not sure if your surgery will change their views on that. And in the meantime, I'd hold off on the Clomid.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope the next few months bring you better luck. Again, I encourage you not to take the responses on TTGP too personally. If you post again and acknowledge the great advice you received, I think you'll be happy to see how welcoming the women are. Not that this isn't a great board-it is!-but it's not as active as TTGP.

*Edited because wrong acronyms.

emsmama15 · May 2015

Hi and welcome. I have to agree with @FemShep, I think you may be overreacting to TTGP's responses to your post. And that's all I'll say about that.

I would definitely see a RE. I took Clomid to get pregnant with my daughter and it thinned my lining so badly, I worried about miscarriage my whole first trimester. I believe it was about 1/3 what it's been on my most recent cycles - granted I'm on injectables now, which helps my lining, but still. Clomid is a powerful drug. Do you have issues with ovulation or why did your OB jump to Clomid so fast? It seems like a pretty risky idea when you don't even know if your tubes are open. You haven't had a HSG, have you? That would be the first thing I'd do - and stop taking the Clomid from a OB.

suziq1978 · May 2015

Welcome and good luck! I hope your stay with us is short.

KLake42 · May 2015

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm just getting started myself (TTC for the first time ever, and just turned 38). I have all kinds of questions and worries, and I know that only time will tell whether I'm going to be able to succeed.

I have tried to prepare myself for the experience of CP, should it happen. I know it's got to be a punch in the gut. But at the same time, you know that your ovaries are capable of popping out eggs, and you know that you've got at least one good fallopian tube. That means that you've got a strong arsenal!

Keep in mind that about half the time that sperm meets egg, they aren't a good match for one reason or another, and a CP occurs. Most women have no idea this happened, since it can mimic a mildly late period, and so many of us are a bit irregular anyway. It happens a lot. And regardless, a lot of people manage to get born. Chances are, it's not an indication that you have a problem. It *is* an indication that you ovulated, and that the sperm made its way to the egg, which are two wonderful things, to know that your body can do that.

I don't imagine that this helps with all the feelings. But if you're looking for silver linings, the silver lining is there.

GK2009 · May 2015

Welcome and good luck!
I also have issues with my tubes. I have one blocked tube and the other tube has unexplained scar tissue and my uterus also has unexplained scar tissue (possibly from a previously untreated infection). I also had a chemical pregnancy at the end of April and it is a very sad experience-- I am sorry you went through it. The only thing I will tell you and I want to emphasize that this is from my own experience is that I was told that my CP may have happened because the embryo was trying to implant itself in an area that had scar tissue (either the tube or the uterus) in which case it could not implant. I only mention it in the event that you have some scarring from your past surgery. It may be worth it to get an HPG to determine that your tubes are opened and the tissue is okay. As someone else just mentioned, a radiologist will do the procedure and it is relatively easy. And to throw in my 2 cents-- I know it is far away but the 3 hour drive may be worth it just to get a plan in place for yourself.

Wishing you much luck!

35 and TTC... (child mentioned and loss)

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